Mar 16, 2006 14:52
Finally, after months of saying I was going to, I have gotten to the library and can now post my fics. This entry is the H/L one, and it's a one-shot. It's called "To Live on the Moon", and it's named after a good bit of a song I think fits it (quoted only at the beginning - it's not a songfic). This fic is unbeta-ed, but I have posted at the "Seekers" section of Fictionalley Park and I am hoping someone there will go over it and make it better. In the meantime, I'm posting this because I've waited long enough already. Any sugestions or constructive critisism would be greatly appreciated.
To Live On the Moon:
“So please don’t cry, you live on the moon
Smile with me when it snows in June
There’s room for two, we’ll live on the moon
Smile with me when it snows in June.” - Snow in June by the Northern Pikes
Harry lay on his bed, trying to fall asleep. It was his fourth night at The Burrow, and things were already much worse than last summer. There was the tension between him and Ginny - he’d desperately wanted to keep things from being awkward between them, but they didn’t joke as much as they had before. He knew she was trying too - knew it was his fault for breaking up with her in the first place, but what could he have done? It didn’t help that Bill and Fleur’s wedding was the next evening, and Ginny had become increasingly moody as the reality dawned on her that it was actually going to take place.
Harry rolled over and stared out the window. He could see the full moon - he knew Remus was lying, in his wolf form, a few rooms over. Snape had made him a lot of the Wolfesbane Potion at a time so he could take it in the caves, and he was drinking from the stock. Harry knew he was running out, and they were all worried about how he’d get more without Dumbledore or Snape. Harry dug his nails into his arm and pulled the sheets towards him. He didn’t want to think about Dumbledore or Snape.
The truth was, it wasn’t just Ginny that was bothering him. It was the knowledge of what was to come. He knew he had to go hunting for Horcruxes, and he didn’t hesitate to do so. He didn’t really feel fear or courage - he just felt like that was what he had to do, and there wasn’t much point in feeling anything about it. Feelings weren’t going to change the reality. Harry had gone back to the Dursleys’ until his seventeenth birthday, when he’d left for The Burrow. He’d spent three days at The Burrow, and the next evening there’d be a double wedding for Bill, Fleur, Remus and Tonks. The latter couple had only been together for a few months, but they wanted to get married quickly. Who knew what the next day would bring?
Over the past few days he’d spent most of his time with Ron, Ginny and Hermione. Together, they’d tried to figure out where to begin their search for Horcruxes. They’d finally figured out Voldemort’s only voyage out of Britain had been to Stockholm, Sweden. He, Ron and Hermione were going Floo there the day after the wedding, going on nothing but the knowledge that Voldemort had won several battles there. Harry knew how small a chance there was of finding anything there, and it depressed him. For all he knew, the final Horcruxes were buried beneath the ocean. It didn’t even have to be the Atlantic Ocean - what if they were near the coast of Antarctica? The whole thing seemed so hopeless.
There was another thing bugging him, a problem he hadn’t expected. The reality was dawning on him: he wasn’t going back to Hogwarts. Everything he’d associated with happiness and safety for six years was gone. He’d keep in touch with the Weasleys and Hermione, but everything else was over. He’d never see his roommates again, or his teachers, or Luna. He was really going to miss that girl - she was so good at lightening any mood. I could really use her now, thought Harry. The Weasleys and Hermione were so worried they added to his depression. He wished there was something to lessen it, if only for a few moments.
He sighed and closed his eyes, hoping that would help him sleep. He wanted his rest, but he didn’t want another one of the nightmares that had haunted him since he’d been in that cave with Dumbledore. Dumbledore ... why couldn’t he hold onto just one thing? Sirius, Dumbledore, his parents, Hogwarts - they were all out of his life. Was he going to lose everything he cared about until he was completely alone? It was starting to feel that way...
It was pitch black - he couldn’t see where he was. Suddenly, fear flooded him and he was frozen. This fear was not triggered by anything dangerous nearby him - it was the absence of anything at all. He realised, in that moment, there was nothing left. Everything and everyone he’d ever known had disappeared, and he was left alone to be found and killed by Voldemort. Even if Voldemort didn’t come, he’d spend the rest of his life in that pitch darkness, with nothing and no one. Cold, hard reality crashed down around him, and it was petrified him. It was personified in the freezing temperatures around him.
In panic, Harry began to run. He knew there was something out to get him - something he couldn’t see or hear. He ran from it, because he knew it was there. He crashed into a tree and realised he was in a forest - he got back up and continued his blind escape. He heard his mother screaming, Sirius taunting Bellatrix, Dumbledore screams of pure agony: “KILL ME!” Harry ran out of pure terror, chased by his worst memories. He knew there were no Dementors behind him - there was nothing external to him, nothing but him. He was being tormented by one thing he could never escape: his own head. The faster he ran, the more he tried to escape, the more unbearable the torment became. And there was nothing ... no one who could save him. There was nothing left but him.
He screamed as he ran - he called for Sirius, Dumbledore, his parents, Remus, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, all the other Weasleys and Luna. He screamed their names, but he knew they’d never answer. He knew they were gone.
Still screaming as he sprinted at top speed, Harry suddenly saw silver light ahead. He ran towards that light, desperate to escape the darkness. A moment ago, he’d known for sure the darkness and aloneness were infinite. He’d known there was no escape. When he stumbled into the light a few moments after seeing it, he knew he was wrong on both counts: there were people and there was light. He was standing in a clearing flooded with silver light from the moon. In the middle of the clearing stood Luna Lovegood.
Without hesitating - without even breaking the desperate stride that had led him to the clearing, Harry threw his arms around Luna. Instantly, he felt relief wash through him. How many times had he tried to hold someone only to have them disappear and find himself grasping at thin air? He held Luna tighter, terrified she’d disappear too. “Don’t disappear,” he begged her, realising there were tears on his cheeks. He didn’t want to be thrust back into that raw, terrifying aloneness. He wanted to spend the rest of his life in that light, with Luna right there. He didn’t ever want her - or the clearing to disappear.
He stood there, just holding her and crying, for what seemed like half an hour. “I’m right here,” said Luna, in a surprisingly solid voice. She was usually so dreamy, so vague - it didn’t feel like she really was on Earth. In that clearing, Harry knew for sure she really was with him. She wasn’t going to disappear. She lived completely in the clearing, and it was a lot better than the reality that lay outside it. Reassured by this knowledge, and having regained a feeling of safety and comfort by her presence, Harry let go of Luna. Her eyes seemed huge from that close up, and the moon made them glow eerily.
Wordlessly, Luna pointed to Harry’s right. When Harry looked to see what she was pointing at, he saw creatures coming out of the forest. He turned and saw they were coming from all sides, forming a ring around the outside of the circle. They were the strangest creatures Harry had ever seen: they resembled giant, slightly horse-like dogs. Atop each of their heads was a single, very strange horn. The exact shape of the horn was different for each animal, but they were all curled in different directions. In fact, thought Harry with new understanding, they almost look crumpled...
He turned back to Luna, completely awed by what was surrounding him. “Snorckacks?” he asked her in a whisper. Luna nodded. Her smile, if possible, became even more eerily serene. Still without saying a word, Luna pointed upwards. The air above them was full of tiny, black bugs.
“Wrackspurts can’t be seen during the day time, but the moonlight makes them visible,” she informed Harry, still in that strange, matter-of-fact voice. She was still talking about crazy things, yet for once she sounded like she was talking about them from where Harry was, and not from her own little world. Then again, thought Harry, they’re not so crazy now that they’re surrounding us. Feeling like he was in a trance, Harry walked up to one of the Snorckacks. He touched the fur: it was solid. It wasn’t going away any more than Luna was. “They won’t disappear,” said Luna, as though she’d read his mind.
Suddenly, Harry remembered he had no actual explanation for why Luna was standing in the middle of a forest, surrounded by creatures that weren’t supposed to exist. “What are you doing here?” he asked her quietly. It was his instinct to be quiet in that clearing: once he had stopped crying, he’d realised he was in the last place for harsh noises. The clearing itself seemed to float - it was like Luna radiated peace. He felt like he was intruding on that peace, and he kept his voice low for fear of shattering it.
“I live here,” said Luna simply. Harry stared at her, not worrying about the fact that staring was a part of Luna’s weirdness. In the world he was used to, she was the outsider that stared at everything around her like it was foreign. In that clearing, Harry was the one staring in awe at everything around him. Luna looked completely at home there, and her voice sounded more concrete. With renewed wonder, Harry realised he was inside that other world Luna spent so much time in. I’m in Luna’s mind, thought Harry, hardly able to grasp the idea. For once, Luna wasn’t vague or half in another world. She was completely in her own world, and Harry was there with her. Somehow, he’d escaped the dark reality and had managed to get to the place where Luna lived.
“It’s a nice place,” said Luna, startling Harry. For once he’d been lost in his own thoughts, and had been brought back to reality - to Luna’s reality - by someone who lived there. “It can get a little lonely,” she continued. “You’re the first visitor I’ve had since Mum died. She used to live just over there,” she gestured to the right “it was within walking distance of here. We used to visit each other all the time.” Harry just stared at her dumbly, so she went on: “Her home had so many potions in it. They did extraordinary things, she transferred a lot of them to your world.”
“But - if you can make creatures appear just by ... by doing whatever you do to get them there - can’t you make your mother appear?”
Luna’s reply was simple: “I know the Snorckacks are there, but I know Mum isn’t.”
He didn’t really understand her response - Luna was the master of faith. It shouldn’t be hard for her to force herself to think in a certain way, to lie until she believed herself. “You should be able to put her here if all you have to do is believe.”
“I have to know, not believe. You can’t make yourself know things that aren’t true. I’ll see her again later, I’m saving good memories to share with her when I do. I’ll remember you being here, I’ll tell her I had another visitor. Daddy used to try to get in here, but he didn’t have the knack the way Mum did. He loves hearing stories about my home, but Mum will be pleased to know someone else can get in.”
Harry stared at her again. How had he gotten in? How had he entered Luna’s world when her father couldn’t? This was the world Luna spent half her life in - what was he doing there? She didn’t believe her creatures existed, she knew they did. They won’t disappear - the creatures were in Luna’s mind, and you couldn’t destroy them. It didn’t matter whether or not they were in the real world - you couldn’t kill things if Luna knew they were there. How had Luna created such security - companionship that would never disappear? He found himself wishing desperately for something like that - for just a tiny piece of Luna’s world. Luna’s world would never disappear.
Luna pointed upwards. “Look.” Harry looked up. The Wrackspurts had gone and, level with the treetops, there was a whole platform of mistletoe. In the light that shone through it, Harry saw tiny, red creatures, perhaps half and inch in height. “Nargles,” said Luna. “I know they’re in mistletoe.”
Harry stared at her again. “That wasn’t there before.”
“I didn’t know it was there before.” She walked closer to Harry, and suddenly she was as full of dreaminess and serenity as the Luna Harry knew. Harry knew he was looking at the girl he was used to, but he was looking at her in another light. It was the light of the moon - the moon on the Snorckacks - the moon through the mistletoe. She was so close - her silvery eyes were so big...”
“Harry,” said a familiar voice. “It’s time to get up, Mum wants to put away the breakfast dishes.” Harry opened his eyes and saw Ron’s blurred face before him. He sat up and put on his glasses. Ron was dressed, and sunlight was pouring in from the window.
“What time is it?” asked Harry, yawning.
“It’s ten o’clock,” replied Ron. “Mum reckoned you’d need your rest for tomorrow, so she told us to let you sleep.” At that moment, Hermione, Ginny, and, to Harry’s surprise, Luna came in.
“Luna!” said Harry, feeling the memories of his dream come back. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I live nearby, and I wanted to see the wedding,” said Luna vaguely, using her usual dreamy voice. “I want to see if they’ve stopped that awful tradition of using rings - the Ministry curses them, you know. It’s all a part of their plan to assimilate the entire wizardring world - they put spells on all rings just before the ceremony. The wearer will be tracked by the Ministry, and will be blinded to any conspiracies. Daddy refused to use one - he and Mum used socks.”
“Socks?” repeated Harry, incredulous.
“Yes, they gave each other socks instead of rings,” replied Luna. “They knitted them themselves - they have pictures of Nargles on them because they’re associated with mistletoe. It’s very romantic.”
Harry remembered the dream, and shivered slightly. He glanced at Ginny - she had her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. He grinned - it was pretty funny. “I think it might be a little late to knit socks for this wedding, but maybe we can buy some. Give me some time to get changed - I’ll be down in a minute.”
When Harry entered the kitchen, Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and Luna were there. A plate with bacon and eggs was on the table, and Harry sat down in front of it. “Where are the others?” he asked, knowing a lot of people had stayed over at The Burrow the night before. They were there for the wedding.
“Fred and George had to work at their shop this morning, Dad had to go into the office for a few hours, Mom's outside making the perfect garden for the perfect wedding, and Bill and Phlegm went off for a walk together,” said Ginny with a sour expression. “Charlie’s upstairs, doing some paper work for his job. Gabrielle’s parents took her to Diagon Alley to get a new dress for at the wedding.”
“You really shouldn’t have ripped it,” said Ron. “It did cost money.”
“You’re just worried Phlegm won’t like you if she finds out your sister ripped her sister’s dress,” said Ginny bitterly. “You’ve met her family - they’re all filthy rich. They’re perfectly capable of affording all the dresses they want.”
Hoping to avert any further arguing, Harry turned to Luna. Rumours that Hogwarts would be closed for the next year had been recently confirmed, and that would affect what Luna would do for the next year. Ginny would be going to a school in Ireland, and he, Ron and Hermione would be hunting Horcruxes. “What are you going to do next year without Hogwarts?” Harry asked Luna.
“I’m staying home to help Daddy with The Quibbler,” she replied. “It should be quite exciting - I’ll actually get to interview eyewitnesses of the Crumple-horned Snorckack! What are you doing?”
“I’m going with Ron and Hermione to find and destroy Voldemort’s soul,” replied Harry, trying to sound casual. He thought back to that feeling in his dream - the pure relief that had flooded him the second he’d made contact with Luna - in that moment, the idea of ever being away from her had been insane. He knew it was just a dream, but he couldn’t help imagining the idea of Luna coming with him to hunt for Horcruxes.
“Yes, I heard you have to do something like that. Something about you being chosen, though I don’t see how anyone could have chosen you before you were born. Are you going to take a Quinseanile?”
“A Quinseanile?”
“Yes, they’re quite useful for searching out untrustworthy things. They make very loyal pets, too. Just send them off and they’ll detect anything dark or suspicious immediately. Of course, the Ministry has hushed up their existence. Think how many conspiracies would come out if someone used one in their building!”
“Oh … well, I might take one. If I can find it. Are there any in Sweden?”
“Oh yes, that’s the place where they’re the most common. In fact, Daddy and I were even going to go to Sweden to see if we could spot one. That seems to be a breeding ground for interesting creatures - it’s the country with the most sightings of Snorckacks. Daddy’s a bit busy right now - he’s working nine-hour days to report all the new conspiracies that have surfaced since what happened at the end of my fifth year. He hardly has time to take care of me, much less go to Sweden. Keep an eye open for Snorckacks while you’re in Sweden, would you?”
Harry hesitated. Her dad hardly had time to take care of her, he was working nine-hour days, she wanted to go to Sweden, her creatures were there - the opportunity was perfect, though Ron, Hermione and Ginny would think he was crazy for suggesting it. Then he got another idea - he knew about Gordric Gryffindor’s sword, but he probably wouldn’t if he weren’t a Gryffindor. If Dumbledore was right in saying the sword was safe, it didn’t matter. The final Horcrux had belonged to Ravenclaw. If he, as a Gryffindor, knew about the sword, perhaps people from other houses knew about their house relics. “Er, okay, I’ll do that. Luna, was your mother in Ravenclaw too?”
“Oh yes, her family has been Ravenclaw for generations.”
“Well, we think a part of Voldemort’s soul might be inside something that belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw -”
“Harry!” interrupted Ron.
”What?”
“You’re not supposed to tell people besides Hermione, Ginny and I.” Harry had filled Ginny in on Horcruxes the day he’d arrived at The Burrow.
“This is Luna,” said Harry. “We can tell her. Anyway Luna, I’m not in Ravenclaw so I don’t know much of its history, but I was wondering if you knew anything about its founder. Do you know of any relics of hers?”
“Oh yes,” replied Luna. “Mum’s a very distant relative of hers, and she used to tell me family stories all the time. I’ve heard rumours of lots of Ravenclaw relics - did you know Voldemort found her bracelet?”
“What?” demanded Harry, completely thrown off by this. Luna was related to Rowena Ravenclaw - Voldemort found something of hers - vital information about Horcruxes had been right there and he’d never known it!
“Oh yes, it was in my family for generations. My grandmother would have given it to Mum for her twenty-first birthday, but it was stolen when Mum was eighteen. She came home from Diagon Alley and found her house torn apart with the Dark Mark over it. The only think missing was the bracelet. He hid it in Sweden - he knew no one believed in Snorckacks, so he hid it in their home after winning a battle there. He knew no one would bother to look, and he also knew about Snorckacks’ instincts to guard their homes very carefully and become violent when threatened.”
Harry stared at her, just like he had in his dream. Whether the bit about Snorckacks was true or not, he finally had some evidence that there might be a Horcrux in Sweden. He also had evidence of exactly what the final Horcrux was, as well as when it was stolen. Luna had heard the story first hand, and she was related to Rowena Ravenclaw - she had to come to Sweden. Regardless of Harry’s feelings about his dream, Luna could provide them with vital information. “Luna, if you’re father’s really busy now, do you think he’d mind if you helped him with The Quibbler by hunting for Snorckacks in Sweden?”
“Harry, have you gone mad?” asked Ron rudely.
“She’s related to the owner of a Horcrux!” argued Harry, unable to see why Ron didn’t want Luna there. They’d just had proof that she could be useful.
Luna seemed to be in shock. “You mean - come with you and help destroy Voldemort?”
“Yeah, and we could probably find time to look for Snorck - wait, weren’t you calling him He Who Must Not Be Named before?”
“The curse has been lifted. Voldemort put a curse on his name that caused anyone who said it to suffer terrible headaches for the next three weeks. A few weeks ago a man named Michael Appleby managed to break it - he was interviewed about it in The Quibbler. Didn’t you hear?”
“Er, no, I didn’t hear about that,” replied Harry, staring at her again.
“Do you really want me to come with you to Sweden?” she asked.
“Yeah, of course,” said Harry. “I mean, if your Dad doesn’t mind.”
“Oh, he’ll be delighted!” said Luna, a real smile on her face. Her eyes seemed to light up, and they got even bigger than usual. “Real information from Sweden - our trip was cancelled last summer because of a there was a Death Eater attack in Stockholm and no one was allowed in. When do we leave?”
“Tomorrow,” replied Harry. “Tell your dad.”
“Wait a minute!” said Ginny, indignant. “It’s too dangerous for me to go, but you’re letting Luna? I’m coming if she is.”
Harry sighed. “You have to go to Ireland. Luna has information about the Horcruxes - I can’t imagine leaving her behind after what I just heard. You have to stay out of danger.”
“I don’t want to go to Ireland anyway!” said Ginny, furious. “The only person I’ll know there is Neville!”
“Neville’s nice, I quite like him,” said Luna dreamily.
“You’re staying, Ginny,” said Harry. “I’m only bringing Luna because she knows things. Otherwise, I’d want to keep her out of danger too.”
“Ron and Hermione get to come,” argued Ginny.
“You know they’re different,” replied Harry. “Besides, we need contact with home. We’ve already agreed you’ll be of help to us through Floo and owls by looking things up from your school. We need you there.”
“Hermione can do that.”
“Ron and Hermione are coming with me, that’s already been decided. You’re helping me from Ireland, and Luna’s helping me from Sweden.”
Ginny hesitated, and then backed down. “All right, I’ll go to Ireland. But I want to stay in contact with you guys!”
“You will, we’ve already decided that.”
“Wait a minute - we’re hunting for Horcruxes, not Snorckacks. We can’t afford to have someone who’ll bring us away from our task!” said Ron.
“Don’t any of you understand?” asked Harry furiously. “She’s related to Rowena Ravenclaw. She’s the rightful owner of a Horcrux. We can’t leave her behind.”
“Harry’s right, Ron,” said Hermione. “Luna, we’d love to have you with us.”
Luna smiled excitedly.
Ron gave a disgruntled sigh. “All right, all right, but we have to stay on task!”
At that moment, Bill, Fleur, Remus and Tonks entered the kitchen. Ginny groaned and muttered something about “Phlegm”, but Harry ignored her. He’d just gotten the sudden, overwhelming sensation that everything was going to be all right.