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Mar 10, 2014 21:23

Upgrade to the Esteletheque mk 1 !

Thank you for upgrading! The ESTELETHEQUE mk 1.1 has many new features.

New In Mk 1.1!

-Improved battery life: the ESTELETHEQUE has been outfitted with a TEA INFUSER fuel-injection system, which improves battery life 30%. WARNING: Running too long on battery power will result in crashing, crabbiness, swearing, and poor decision making.

-The ESTELETHEQUE received the DOCTORATE upgrade in December of 2011 and immediatly began loading the POST-DOCTORAL FELLOWSHIP upgrade. However, this upgrade proved incompatible with the OS and had to be uninstalled. The ESTELETHEQUE is currently undergoing further upgrades.

Q: I ordered a research scientist! Why is the ESTELETHEQUE playing with a stethescope?
A: The ESTELETHEQUE is currently downloading the NURSE upgrade. This will complete in December 2014, at which point the NCLEX quality-control program will upgrade the ESTELETHEQUE to ESTELETHEQUE, RN.

Q: The ESTELETHEQUE appears to be accepting SEAFOOD brand fuel. That's new!
A: New in Mk 1.1, the ESTELETHEQUE accepts SEAFOOD brand fuel, especially the SUSHI variety.

Q: I heard that a bigot who's on the radar of the SPLC called out the ESTELETHEQUE by name. What's up with that?
A: The ESTELETHEQUE's proudest moment: if he's angry with her, she must be doing something right.

Q: The ESTELETHEQUE appears to have significant chest scarring. Should I be worried?
A: The ESTELETHEQUE was damaged by the EXPLODING BLENDER bug. The damage is purely cosmetic.

Q: What is borborygmus and why is the ESTELETHEQUE laughing about it?
A: Borborygmus is the proper term for what Winnie the Pooh calls "rumbly in the tumbly." This is an inherently funny word.

Check in soon for more updates!

This has been an entry for therealljidol. This was the introduction week.
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