In order to ensure the security of the Mark, I have sent troops forth to secure our borders. General Theorommel has secured Anorien and is moving on to Osgiliath. His eventual goal is Mordor ( Read more... )

The racial cleansing reorganization of the Mark proceeds apace. The Processing Centers at Aldburg, Dunharrow and Isen Vale are full. We had some minor difficulties, but nothing a little ingenuity can't over come ( Read more... )

The borders of the Mark are closed as of this moment. Anyone wishing to pass through out lands must receive papers from our border guards (easily identified by their black and white uniforms and red arms bands with white circles and a dragon emblazoned in their center in black) and be prepared to present those papers on demand ( Read more... )

*ahem*

I need to go now.

*glare*

Mandos Release Form, 3A

NAME: Erkenbrand Kingfucker, Lord of the Westfold
SPECIES: Human
PATRON VALAR (if any): They all hate me.
DESCRIBE DEATH (include link if applicable): I was rather messily undone by that fucker Wulf. No link. It's too embarrassing ugly ( Read more... )

I have done what I set out to do. I have nailed Helm put a King worthy of the title on the throne in Rohan.

The trouble is, I now have nothing really to do. I have returned to the Westfold because I missed the grasses, and the sheep.

And I think Wulf is in Orthanc and I really want to beat him some more.

Maybe I'll roust some Dunlendings. Or

Great drake, I need to speak with you.

Helm keeps giving me the oddest looks. I think he enjoyed our, um, encounter, but he keeps avoiding the subject and, like I said, looking at me funny.

Well, maybe I'll make it up to him by reclaiming his throne for him. Or something.

Damn.

Things that suck:

A) Sheep-fucker bit me and ran off

B) I got a big old infected wound from Sheep-fucker's teeth.

C) There's no decent mead in Aldburg. I am now very thirsty.

Uhhh...

Q) Lustnugget has yet to acknowledge the bond we share

Er...

Gamma) EOMER BASTITCH STOLE MY SCENE IN THE MOVIE!!!

Oh well...

*burns Aldburg down to its

But, well, I received orders from our new King that he wants as many Rohirrim to attend his wedding as possible.

To that end, well, my eored and I have been slaughtering civilians for hours.

It's rough work.

I think I forgot to ask for amnesty for all these murders, though...

So, there is this Wulf person threatening my sweet King Helm.

I really don't fancy the idea of such a bastard stalking the King I am looking forward to bedding am so loyal to. So, I must find him. Unfortunately, I don't know where he is or how to find him ( Read more... )