You shall all burn in the fires of war, Arda will b-

What? Plot's over? Damn.

Maybe I can go beat up Wulf again.

Dear King Helm ( Read more... )

Well, the Grand Imperial Army (minus the contingent occupying Mordor, minus the contingent looting running the White City, has arrived outside Imladris ( Read more... )

Estel is dead

Gondor is mine.

Anyone who has a problem with that, you have 15 minutes to get out of my city.

Except the Queen. She's mine. Rawr.

*clank ( Read more... )

Walls. Whoever invented them should die.

So, through the judicious use of battering rams, large rocks and fire, we managed to breach the wall.

Oh, let me correct myself. We breached the first wall. They have more than one. Isn't that cute? We were all excited, with the raping and the pillaging right within our grasp and all we found were two bag ( Read more... )

Mordor has fallen.

Rather amicably, too, considering...

Now, apparently, I must march on Gondor.

Apparently, during the sacking of Anorien, we illegally parked some of our siege engines and we need to pay the citations.

Damn pissant tickets.

Well, apparently, the trolls in charge of opening and closing the Black Gate unionized and demanded higher wages. In response, Sauron Inc. fired them and had a mega-garage-door-opener installed ( Read more... )

Or would be, you know, if we had trains.

Osgiliath is ours. Tarannon decided to go and spend time in his summer home, I believe.

The Army marches for Mordor even now.

Sieg Heil!

F.M. Erkenbrand

The stormtroopers (no, not his stormtroopers, I'm talking about the kickass soldiers of Rohan) have been bogged down by the midget militia defending Osgiliath ( Read more... )