"Hey Elyse, where'd you get that unsightly abrasion on your ass?"

"Well, I was balancing on a velour-covered eraser-shaped plywood prism precariously propped on a tripod inside this velour-lined plywood box. I was gripping my shanzhai Gucci handbag under my baby oil-slathered arm whilst attempting to support my weight on one foot without ( Read more... )

"Shanghai Slice"

The song is "Wètètié Maré by Muluqèn Mèllèssè, from Ethiopiques 1. Hope you like it!

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I'm still pretty high from Chinese New Year. The prolonged break from the frustrations of ladypose moil, combined with the fact that I'm reading The Travels of Marco Polo, a mostly-true catalog of Marky Marc's impressions of unfamiliar provinces, has my soul incandescing daily with delight at the myriad subtle ways in which the Chinese mode of ( Read more... )

Could somebody please press the little green button on the stop time machine? I'm not ready for the Chinese New Year holiday to end yet. I need one more week.

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My New Year's Day was perfect.

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Chinese New Year! Oh my god! Chinese New Year! It's almost 12:30am and there is MAYHEM in my 'hood! Fireworks have been exploding CONSTANTLY for hours and hours! Burned shreds of red tissue paper from spent fireworks are piling up in drifts! The air is opaque with smoke. People are running through the streets screaming "Woooooo!" I have ( Read more... )

Thanks to dancingupastorm for finding this recipe for the candied fruit I wrote about two days ago. I made it this afternoon with excellent resultz. Maybe I should start my own street stall!

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My aspiring DJ of a male model roommate is currently pumping some overloud techno into the apartment while he works a jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table. I can't go in my room because I'm tethered to the wall by the broadband cable. So, apologies, I'm distracted; I can feel all the mental LJ composition I did on my walk home eroding 'neath the ( Read more... )

When I want to feel sexy, I slip into a pair of fishnet stockings, a pair of tu-tone polyester lace bloomers, a tee with some seductive lace screenprinting, a mesh vest, a superfluous belt, half a can of blue eyeshadow, a lipstick mustache and two wigs. Mmm. Then I go land a husband.

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