[fic] State of Mind - Chapter Fifteen

[elric_ward]

Ward nodded firmly, determination written all over his face as Sting raised an eyebrow.

<’You want my help?’> The Mustang repeated again, just to be sure. He had been lazing in the cold season’s sun, idly keeping watch for any enemies - fellow animals and humans both. It was nice to be able to relax with the pack once in awhile, easily done

Comments

[deepgreen18]

Huh, I can't believe it's the last chapter, either. This has been the easiest story I've ever gotten through. Maybe because it's short(er) than my usual (though the sequel may change that). It's been really engaging to critique it, and I hope the sequel goes as smoothly.

There is a marked change in Ward this chapter, he's ready, at last. I'm impressed that he's figured out what to do when he needs help (although, of course, he does it in a very in-character, grudging manner). His singing, and Fons' reaction was giggle-worthy. "Hmm, there's an animal dying. I'll go kill it and feed it to my packmates." I knew Ward would be bad, but you turned it into a quality comedic moment.

My comments:
It was nice to be able to relax with the pack once in awhile, easily done now that their food stocks were up, den repaired and the pack-mates in his head dulled down to a quite murmur. I think you meant "quiet murmur".

Which explained all the courting complications, Edward-mating ban from Hughes and one very cold mating rebuttal from Fons. I

[elric_ward]

I think the sequel's going well. At the least I know more at the start of this story than at the start of State of Mind. (and for some reason the chapters are bigger on average, so it's taking longer to write. Hmm)

I'm pleased all the problems were minor this time. Such as my fail to hit all the buttons :D

There's going to be LOADS of human/animal interaction. Hee it's so much fun.