*narrows eyes* Something is different. *horrified gasp* There is a teensy tiny SCRATCH on the TOWER OF ME!

All right, what scoundrel has marred this glorious structure? Hmm? I want answers, people. Heads will roll for this.

Can stewards have people beheaded? Maybe I'll just send them on a suicide mission. You know, for the good of Gondor.

*eyedart* So. Many. APPLES. I think I've sprained something.

One of those blondish rat things was in the throne room again this morning. It started squeaking fiercely when I approached it and chased me outside into the courtyard. I was going to get the broom but was distracted by the trees! It must be the King's doing. But where is he? *is distracted by the trees* Applesyay! *dances*

HEIR!

NAMESAKE!

RATS!

All within the space of a week. I don't think my heart can take it. Oh wait, sure it can. I'M A GRANDPA AGAIN!

*considers starting full-time business making applesauce and babyfood*

*passes a mirror* Hmm, I really ought to look into getting that waxed.

Bloody paperwork.

*continues making construction-paper Gondorian helmets*

All at once I felt a chill...in the moonlight she was there.

Who is this vision of feminine grace and beauty? Only for a moment did I see her, but in that moment....I tried following her, but she was actually walking rather quickly. She tossed one sultry glance over her shoulder, turned the corner, and was gone.

*sigh*

*dusts the throne of Gondor*

*polishes the marble of the throne room of Gondor*

*vacuums the dais of the throne room of Gondor*

*is not wearing the French maid outfit of Gondor*

*wonders what happened to the French maid outfit of Gondor*

...when Gondor needed no king had no king.

*updates flag of Gondor*

*settles in, basket of apples close at hand, gets comfy guards throne*

It's good to be king steward.

Once upon a time there was a bored brave former steward who had nothing better to do was charged by a beautiful maiden to embark upon a great quest. And lo, despite many obstacles did the BFS (brave former steward) search over hill and yonder dale and closet upon closet and someone really ought to clean out a few of those closets because they were ( Read more... )