Well DAMN I guess I AM a writer

[dtkokoro]

So, I wrote this for my advanced fiction class, and it is SERIOUSLY the best thing I have EVER written.

HOLY CRAP I ROCK. Hehehe, anyways, any feedback, comments, whatever? I'd LOVE it all!

Comments

[vicellious]

Hey I read it! I like that it's short and self-contained and tells a beginning-middle-end story very quickly and without much stuffing around. I felt it lacked a lot of the magic of some of your slash ('Kitten' is and always will be your masterpiece :P) though it had some moments. The title is great but the payoff doesn't quite live up to the intrigue it evokes. Mass suicide is interesting but not as a result of murder by taser-ific iPod. Bit too off the wall for my tastes. Not sure I like guys like Brandon though he has nice banter with Danielle (albeit some of it cliched, though 'Fag and Hag detectives' was funny) and I like David. He's the kinda guy I'd go for. ;) Noticed a few grammatical errors too strewn throughout. I trust there will be sequels? Just like a Veronica Mars type thing? I could draw cover art! :P What kind of mark did you end up getting?

[dtkokoro]

Actually, I rewrote this, and I like it more now. when I have time I'll repost it OH!, I found it in my email.

One of things about it, that I was going for, that no in my class got, was that in the first go around, was that it was a friendship piece, and not a mystery. I wanted to show friends, but for the class, the prof. gave us first sentences to use. And the one I used was the only good one of the bunch.

But, I have since changed it, and its not so 'light' anymore.

The thing about Brandon is that I have all this extra stuff about him that I didn't include in the story because it's Danielle's POV. And he's not as big of a jerk/whore as he comes off to be. And he totally likes David, but he sees David as someone for long term, and he knows that he's not emotionally mature enough to handle that kind of a relationship.

And David is so adorable. I <3 him