[Series] Thin Line; 05 Epilogue

[b_sim]

Title: Thin Line
Author: b_sim
Characters/Pairings: GACKT/Hyde (Hideto)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, general, gore
Summary: When the two ninja, Gackt from the Koga and Hideto from the Takeda, fought over who would kill the target, neither of them knew what they were getting themselves into.
Notes: Please note the change of rating. :B
Disclaimer: Do not own

Comments

[write_my_dreams]

The raging change was gladly noted. I'm glad that they're together, but it's sad at the same time because they have to keep this secret and can't see each other very often.

LOL at Hideto talking about Gackt's great ass. Which he so has.

I liked how you included them looking back at how their relationship was with them hating each other's guts and how gradually that hatred changed slowly into love.

Oh favorites... Gackt was my favorite at first since Hideto was just a little too sadistic for me, but after he got calmer I started liking them both. I think Gackt is still my favorite though

[b_sim]

Forbidden lover kind of thing but Hideto cares for G too much to simply let go and vice versa. :P

I felt it was necessary to make their relationship seem the least bit normal, considering all the time skips, haha.

[write_my_dreams]

Argh that should be rating... need to proofread before posting comments

Yes exactly, but they need each other

Haha yeah, it turned out well though

[gakkuhai]

T_T It's..... so....bitersweeeeeeeeeeeet **sniffs**

I likeded it :) Good job with this, and the long-anticipated sex!

Hyde's my fav. Ofc.

[b_sim]

I'm glad you enjoy it! Thanks for commenting! ♥

[dohai_love]

SNWJBFEWB FOUR CHAPTERS? THAT'S IT?! I PROTEST! XD

Also, prolly for the first time, I have some constructive criticism- I guess my major issue is how the story "jumps" lol or rather how fast the pace is- I mean, I still have the adorable image of them holding hands and then starting the chap with them having sex immediately had me all like "O_O?" for a few seconds. It think it would have been a smoother transition if you put the scene after it, which picks up right where the last chapter ends, first. *shrug* Also, I don't really understand why Hyde would call Gackt "fucker" when he never even called him such things when he hated him. Sort of surprised me! Him saying he loved Gackt all of a sudden, was quite unexpected as well, since they don't know each other all that well yet

[b_sim]

But I can't handle long fics right now! D:

Tbh, I considered putting that first kiss part first. I can't remember my reasoning for not doing so. :P Lol, the 'fucker' thing is sort of a term of endearment. Blame my RP-ing with larkir. I always use Hideto and he always calls her character that, so I guess I sorta got used to it being a nickname of sorts instead of an actual insult. My bad there. :B

[dohai_love]

Yeah, of course they understand each other the best, but I figured they would say such things after sometime being in the relationship, not after the first time they had sex, lol. Especially from Hideto lol I thought Gackt would say it first since he's the more sensitive one! XD *shrug* But whatevs

[b_sim]

Ah, that sex scene was supposed to be two years after they first kissed. :D;

I honestly didn't think much about where the story was going. I didn't quite realise what was making it feel so strange in fic form so changing it wasn't something that I was tinkering around with. And pfft, I totally feel you. My first GakuHai fic was supposed to be about twelve chapters long but it got extended to seventy-seven. Promise me you won't read that because gawd, it's terrible. I wrote it when I was at the tender age of fourteen and I wrote stereotypical yaoi couples. D:

I ask for CC anyway. So I appreciate it because I think it's just another form of reflection. ♥

[love_teddies]

lol at the ass and stamina

my votes is for gackt

[b_sim]

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. ♥

[eadwine63]

*fans herself* JESUS FUCKING CHRIST... sorry for swearing, but it needed to be said. The smut was hot. REALLY hot. I don't even know WHY it came over as so incredibly hot... I only know it just DID. ^_^; *fans herself some more, trying not to pass out and failing anyway*

it's good that you keep their relationship like this, cause obviously life isn't always easy and sunny as it is in fairy tales. it's nice that they didn't want to give up each other though, and tried to make it work anyway. I like the ending, how you made them think about their past thoughts about each other.

I think Hideto HAS to be my favourite. He's wild, rebellious and I have a thing for twisted characters, apparently, so 'Hyde' is what makes me love him even more. xD oh! I forgot to mention last time that I like that Hideto became more 'human' after meeting Gackt. ^_^

[eadwine63]

why do I always forget half of what I wanted to say??

anyway; I also wanted to say that I think this moved a bit too quickly perhaps? though I loved it and if it was too slow, I wouldn't have liked it either. I generally like the pace, but last chapter and this epilogue... It seems so quick... well, I can cope with the epilogue, since it's the epilogue... and there's two years in between. But I think it's mostly the previous chapter and the bits 'in between' chapter 3, 4 and 5. If you get what I mean... xD I'm not good at criticism. I never find the right words to say here... lol...

Though... I did like the story and detail. But I think their feelings moved too quickly. I don't think they have the kind of personality that lets them act that quickly. Especially since you let them say things like "stupid emotions like love" or something.

[b_sim]

LOL, I'm glad you thought so! I find smut boring personally, so I kinda dislike writing it 'cause I think everyone else feels the same way.

Haha, no worries, I get what you're saying completely - you're the first one to comment saying so. :)