So, I think I totally messed up... When they offered me the job, I thought it was gonna be part-time as in THIRTY-TWO hours part-time... Not around 20 or less... They never said that. Not even when I asked about it. But, apparently, that's what it is. So, I'll be making less than the baby-sitting gig I had. And I can't go back to that because she's ( Read more... )

Apparently, I'm not good enough or worth trying for. Nothing at all. I really don't know what to do. Keep on like this until it falls apart naturally? Or do I just try to make my own way now?

Good news is that I kind of have a job right now. Kind of. Not that I've gotten a chance to work for it yet. I also have an interview Monday for another place ( Read more... )

Yeah, yeah... I've gone awhile without updating, but not for lack of trying. It's just that each day seems to be the same old thing over and over again. And it's been hard trying to have a positive attitude.

First of all, my husband is back in town. He came back a few days before Christmas. Things have been like a roller coaster where that is ( Read more... )

I'm sorry.

I never was and never will be strong enough.

I never was and never will be brave enough.

I never did and never will love you enough.

I never was and never will be good enough.... for you or for me.

You know, some things are meant to be, but this life just wasn't. I can't keep hurting them. I can't keep letting them hurt me. I feel like I'm ( Read more... )

Silently she screams
Waking the dawn
Butterflies in her pocket
Birds' song in throng

Things beyond mending
Hearts beat apace
Heat is still rising
Blood streams down her face

Indentions forever in her mind
Moonlit scars on her soul
None of these things were ever written
Never before in her life foretold

But only for a moment
We awake from the dreams
Sweat- ( Read more... )

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just ( Read more... )

Let's see here... three and a half months of constant bleeding and pain. Some days are better, some are worse. Yesterday was pretty much up there with the worse days. Today, much better. Pain-wise, anyway. My parents keep telling me to go to the doctor, however, the doctor already told me that it was just a waiting game and I would just have to ( Read more... )

Just sayin'... I'm still here... Just not sure how to pour out what's on my mind and in my heart right now.

And the beat goes on

I am weak...
*~*~*~*~*

I may plod on day to day, through the night, and into the morn,... but I am not strong. I am still just weak. In my life, I have been constantly faced with things... choices to make. But I never have had the guts to make the choices that would make me happy. Never the choices that would be right for me. I always choose for ( Read more... )

I have another cyst, per usual, and there's nothing I can do about it until the first day of my next cycle. Interfaith wouldn't let me start any birth control when I went because I was already on the eighth day of my cycle and they said that they didn't want to start anything when there was the possibility of me being pregnant. (And, no, I'm not. ( Read more... )