Comments | dr_brat: The bottom line

dr_brat

The bottom line

Aug 16, 2012 12:16

So I'm still spinning the George thing. Having trouble being alone, although I am trying to ride that out. Had a lovely dinner with friends last night, so I am glad that I made the effort to ask if I could be included. Anyway, I am only half functional today after a storm last night that threw all three dogs into my bed (my two and a visitor), ( Read more... )

Comments 4

la_penguinita August 16 2012, 16:34:56 UTC

It sounds like he doesn't have the capacity to love someone, only use them.

You're an amazing, strong, brilliant woman who deserves someone who loves you for everything you are. I hope the therapy helps you to recover from this and sets you on a path to find that someone.

1ginko August 18 2012, 23:46:09 UTC

Heartily agrees.
Go easy on yourself. I do like seeing that you are getting a therapist. That may help speed you past some of the things that are keeping you from having closure. Hugs!

lorres August 20 2012, 12:31:44 UTC

" I am trying so hard to see that this was not about me except in so far as I failed to protect myself, failed to recognize his personality flaws and unsuitability in the first place, but I am really having trouble with it."

I know it's hard not to label this experience as a "failure", b b b b but. How can you possibly predict every single aspect of a relationship at the beginning? I think it might be a lot easier if there are no fizzy chemicals involved, but when all that is in the mix it's hard to conduct the most perfect possible relationship. In a lot of ways I think our parents had the right idea when they had a period of "playing the field". it was common for them to be seeing a lot of different people for a few years until they settled on someone. Maybe that lack of focusing in on one person and counting on that person to be "the one" was a good thing. Maybe that was a way they avoided the "failure" attitude.

Just my $.02 and I hope you keep doing nice things for yourself while you recover.

dr_brat August 20 2012, 16:03:12 UTC

Hmmm, I don't so much label it a failure as I reel at the way it ended. I knew there were issues but I was willing to work on the issues and I'm still in shock that he could just walk out like that. I don't give up on people that easily and it's hard not to take his giving up on me as a reflection of my worth. I know that I would tell any friend of mine that it was his issue that he left and not a reflection on her, but I have trouble internalizing that for myself even though all the evidence is in front of me. I knew that he was not the one, but I was willing to negotiate issues to spend time with him. His declaration that I was not worth his continuing to make adjustments for (after 8 months of working on it) has really thrown me for a loop ( ... )