Hmm, I may have misinterpreted the synopsis, but it sounds as though 'My Darcy, Vampyre' is meant to be serious. What a wasted opportunity! It could have been an excellent parody.
"Monday, July 1st I felt the dark curse upon me again tonight. I made haste to leave the Netherfield Ball as I was in no mood tonight to bite middle classes at play. I must be careful to repress my dark urges, though I could not help but notice that Bingley's jugular was looking exceptionally succulent this evening."
Unfortunately, it does look like a serious book, which is a damned shame. Maybe they felt that another supernatural parody after Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was too soon?
Tell me more about Bingley's succulent jugular! ;D
Thursday, August 5th The dark urge struck again this evening and it is with great shame that I admit to supping on Mrs Bennett when she came to call on Elizabeth. I covered my actions by claiming that I had tripped on the fine hall rug and fallen, mouth-first, onto her throat. Mrs Bennett, ingratiating creature that she is, merely apologised for the fact that her throat was in the path of my teeth. Still, I shall not do so again-she tastes, most regrettably, of mutton.
The succulence of Bingley's jugular continues to taunt me from across the drawing room...
*** Lady Catherine de Bourgh closed her fan with a decisive snap. It had been a most vexing evening's entertainment, having to content herself with only Mr. Collins' pallid conversation. Her discontent was multiplied tenfold by the knowledge that the grand halls of Pemberley were polluted by the presence of her nephew's new wife: the odious and impertinent Elizabeth Darcy, neé Bennet. At the very thought of the young woman whose sly wiles had been the ruin of all her plans, a low growl of displeasure rose from the back of Lady Catherine's throat and her canines slid out and over her lower lip
( ... )
"Monday, July 1st
I felt the dark curse upon me again tonight. I made haste to leave the Netherfield Ball as I was in no mood tonight to bite middle classes at play. I must be careful to repress my dark urges, though I could not help but notice that Bingley's jugular was looking exceptionally succulent this evening."
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Tell me more about Bingley's succulent jugular! ;D
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Thursday, August 5th
The dark urge struck again this evening and it is with great shame that I admit to supping on Mrs Bennett when she came to call on Elizabeth. I covered my actions by claiming that I had tripped on the fine hall rug and fallen, mouth-first, onto her throat. Mrs Bennett, ingratiating creature that she is, merely apologised for the fact that her throat was in the path of my teeth. Still, I shall not do so again-she tastes, most regrettably, of mutton.
The succulence of Bingley's jugular continues to taunt me from across the drawing room...
You should try it. It's fun!
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***
Lady Catherine de Bourgh closed her fan with a decisive snap. It had been a most vexing evening's entertainment, having to content herself with only Mr. Collins' pallid conversation. Her discontent was multiplied tenfold by the knowledge that the grand halls of Pemberley were polluted by the presence of her nephew's new wife: the odious and impertinent Elizabeth Darcy, neé Bennet. At the very thought of the young woman whose sly wiles had been the ruin of all her plans, a low growl of displeasure rose from the back of Lady Catherine's throat and her canines slid out and over her lower lip ( ... )
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"Which was that the notion of spending eternity with a character
as intolerable as Wickham's was simply too much for one vampyre to bear."
...made me laugh my spleen off. I love that Darcy's cure for a broken heart is a spot of venison and a hankerchief to wipe up the gore.
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