Hello there ( Read more... )

Two nights ago Peter said, "I'm afraid it might offend you, but I've ordered you a grief workbook." I said, "Why would doing something to show you care offend me?" He said he ordered it because as a nurse I'm going to see people die and that I need to make sure I'm prepared for something that is going to hit so close to the most traumatic ( Read more... )

This morning a fly came in through an open window. Isaac started freaking out and I told him, "That fly is not going to hurt you. Stop worrying about it." He asked if it was going to suck his blood like midgies and I told him no. He told me he wanted to kill it because flies are pests. I was like, "Who told you that?" And then had a conversation ( Read more... )

My mom was dieting my entire life. I think she was dieting most of her own life. She was a bit overweight from quite a young age and it seemed to get worse after she had my sister and me. She would go on a diet and lose weight, then gain it back and go on another diet, then gain back more, go another diet and gain back even more ( Read more... )

A year ago today I was on a plane traveling to Washington to get to my mom who was on life support. I didn't know what was going to happen. It didn't look good but I also didn't believe she was going to die ( Read more... )

Dear Mom ( Read more... )

I'm so sad that it's been over two years since I saw my mom awake. I'm so sad that she only ever got to see Isaac once and even sadder that he will have no memories of her. I used to call her every Friday and Isaac would get on the phone with her too. He wouldn't always talk a lot but he would listen to her with a big grin on his face and laugh a ( Read more... )

It's been two and a half months now since my mom died and I dream about her every night. It's the weirdest thing. Sometimes she's alive and there and sometimes she's already gone and we're going through her things, or something, but it's always about her. It's not particularly comforting but it's not haunting either. It just is ( Read more... )

I feel so sad. I hate night time when there are no more distractions. Isaac and Peter are asleep and I've been crying in the motel bathroom again. Leaving to go back to England is going to be so hard this time.

I feel so sick wondering if we made a mistake by removing mom's life support. What if she was fully aware and it wasn't what she wanted and she was in there screaming at us not to do it and was terrified at dying while we were stood at her side telling her it was okay.