If I Tell You Faster (drabble)
Title: If I Tell You Faster
Author: deyuna_decchan
Pairing/Subject: YamaChii
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, a bit romance
Summary: I want to tell you what i want to say... but I'm late...
A/N: request by my FB friend, Sekar Hyuga :) Yamada's POV
Warning: Chara death! girl!Chinen
It's not like I didn't care of her. It's not like i lost my way. That's really impossible. I look to the cloudy sky. It's like teasing me for doing something idiotly. Yes, I'm an idiot guy who can't tell the one i love about my feelings yet. I bow my head, just can blaming myself. Why didn't I tell you faster about my feelings? The biggest regret in my life...
Many chances to say, why i didn't use them?
***
Flashback...
2 years ago...
I saw you smiling to your friends as you arrived at school. You always smiling to all people. We were bestfriends since we attended the same High School and got the same class until now. We were still a first classn students. I was reading my novel until you called my name as you came in to the class.
"Yama-chan, ohayo~!!!!" you said cheerfully. I looked at you who already standing beside me and i smiled at you back. "Ohayo, Chii."
Suddenly you pinching my cheeks and said that i'm cute. You didn;t realized that you're the one cute here, not me. You always gave me the best of your smile everyday. I really hate someone who dare to make you cry, although that person was your mother who really envy with your cuteness. I always asked you to go around the park or having a date with me as 'bestfriend'. You never refuse it but you always refused other people to have a date with you. Maybe my face was normal, but i was really happy in my heart. That's mean i was so important to you right?
2 years latter, you told me that you felt someone stalking you. But i just told you to calm. Because maybe it's already our time to focus to the lessons to get the best university, so i thought that's just your feelings.
One day you told me that someone raped you, you're crying loudly. i realized that what you said was true. and i was thinking to protect you fully tomorrow. But it's late already... Your sister found you lifeless on the bed with a rope at your neck a month after you got raped. You were... suicided. With a note behind your cold pale body, a note for me.
'To: Yama-chan
I was pregnant because raped by someone i don't even know.
it's a big sin for having this baby, Yama-chan...
Because i don't care if you're the one who raping me.
Because my heart for you, i love you.
And i just want have a baby from you, not other.
I can't keep this baby because you aren't the father of this baby.
I hope you feel the same way like me.
I hope you love me too... as a lover.
Good bye, Ryosuke.
I'm sorry for leaving you like this.
please don't forget me and go through your days.
love you,
Yuri.'
***
So we were loving each other. i don't know how to show my feelings to you. i was too scared of rejecting. Why? Why didn't tell you about my feelings?
If i tell you faster, it won't be ended like this. If I tell you faster, if i tell you that i really love you faster, maybe we will together now. It's a big sin for not telling you about my feelings towards you. the biggest sin i have in my life...
OWARI
well, well, don't slap or kill me please. The raped side was the pervert Yari's idea -_-". But it's not turn to NC-17 desho? ^^~ comments are love~
Author: deyuna_decchan
Pairing/Subject: YamaChii
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, a bit romance
Summary: I want to tell you what i want to say... but I'm late...
A/N: request by my FB friend, Sekar Hyuga :) Yamada's POV
Warning: Chara death! girl!Chinen
It's not like I didn't care of her. It's not like i lost my way. That's really impossible. I look to the cloudy sky. It's like teasing me for doing something idiotly. Yes, I'm an idiot guy who can't tell the one i love about my feelings yet. I bow my head, just can blaming myself. Why didn't I tell you faster about my feelings? The biggest regret in my life...
Many chances to say, why i didn't use them?
***
Flashback...
2 years ago...
I saw you smiling to your friends as you arrived at school. You always smiling to all people. We were bestfriends since we attended the same High School and got the same class until now. We were still a first classn students. I was reading my novel until you called my name as you came in to the class.
"Yama-chan, ohayo~!!!!" you said cheerfully. I looked at you who already standing beside me and i smiled at you back. "Ohayo, Chii."
Suddenly you pinching my cheeks and said that i'm cute. You didn;t realized that you're the one cute here, not me. You always gave me the best of your smile everyday. I really hate someone who dare to make you cry, although that person was your mother who really envy with your cuteness. I always asked you to go around the park or having a date with me as 'bestfriend'. You never refuse it but you always refused other people to have a date with you. Maybe my face was normal, but i was really happy in my heart. That's mean i was so important to you right?
2 years latter, you told me that you felt someone stalking you. But i just told you to calm. Because maybe it's already our time to focus to the lessons to get the best university, so i thought that's just your feelings.
One day you told me that someone raped you, you're crying loudly. i realized that what you said was true. and i was thinking to protect you fully tomorrow. But it's late already... Your sister found you lifeless on the bed with a rope at your neck a month after you got raped. You were... suicided. With a note behind your cold pale body, a note for me.
'To: Yama-chan
I was pregnant because raped by someone i don't even know.
it's a big sin for having this baby, Yama-chan...
Because i don't care if you're the one who raping me.
Because my heart for you, i love you.
And i just want have a baby from you, not other.
I can't keep this baby because you aren't the father of this baby.
I hope you feel the same way like me.
I hope you love me too... as a lover.
Good bye, Ryosuke.
I'm sorry for leaving you like this.
please don't forget me and go through your days.
love you,
Yuri.'
***
So we were loving each other. i don't know how to show my feelings to you. i was too scared of rejecting. Why? Why didn't tell you about my feelings?
If i tell you faster, it won't be ended like this. If I tell you faster, if i tell you that i really love you faster, maybe we will together now. It's a big sin for not telling you about my feelings towards you. the biggest sin i have in my life...
OWARI
well, well, don't slap or kill me please. The raped side was the pervert Yari's idea -_-". But it's not turn to NC-17 desho? ^^~ comments are love~