A Quiet Night In
A fanfic, written for
good__evil's May 08 challenge.
Enjoy!
A Quiet Night In
“Are you completely stupid?”
Giles sighed. “What is it now?”
“My drink.”
“You said microwave, so I microwaved it. Is there a problem?”
“It’s practically boiling, you tosser.”
“Really.”
“I thought you knew how to cook.”
“Oddly enough, my culinary skills don’t extend to heating pig’s blood. And, may I remind you, you’re the one who suggested ten minutes. I assumed you’d know.”
Spike glared at him. “How many vampires do you know who microwave their victims?” He paused, thoughtfully. “Actually, that sounds like fun.”
Giles rolled his eyes, and returned to his book.
It was an eighteenth century treatise on Sumerian amulets, and it made for fascinating reading. He had read nearly half a page, and was just considering taking some notes when a voice interrupted his train of thought.
“You know, if you untied me, I could get my own drink. Wouldn’t have to bother you.”
“I’m not untying you, Spike.”
“Fair enough.”
The author was drawing a comparison between the bronze-inlaid amulets of the Mennlorche dynasty and the gold medallions worn by vampires from the Secrute order. It was an interesting idea, although it might be contradicted by-
“No possibility that I could change your mind?”
Giles looked up at him. “An occasional ‘please’ or ‘thankyou’ wouldn’t hurt your case.”
“Get knotted.”
“Charming.”
“Come on, what are you so worried about? Not like I can hurt anyone either way.”
Giles gave up. “I suppose I might as well. It’s not as if you can do any real damage.”
“Exactly.”
He laid the book on the coffee table, and was already halfway out of his chair when-
“Of course, it’s possible that I’m faking.”
What was that again?
Spike was watching him closely, a slight smile on his lips. “Lulling you into a false sense of security, so that one day I can wreak screaming havoc, and you’ll be caught completely by surprise.”
Giles slowly, deliberately, opened his book to page 91, and started a new paragraph. Spike grinned.
Could the Mennlorche amulets have a positive effect on transfiguration rituals? It was certainly possible. But he had the feeling he’d read something recently about silver being more important for that kind of-
“You know, even you shouldn’t be able to bollocks up a nice mug of blood this badly.” Spike was eyeing the liquid with an expression of mild disgust. “You lot have been feeding me for over a week - weren’t you paying attention to how they heated this stuff?”
“Not really, no.”
He snorted. “Fat lot of good you are, then.”
“I have better things to waste my time on. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to my book.”
“What’s the Sumerian word for ‘useless’?”
“Busy reading - look it up yourself.”
Yes - silver. Something about harnessing transdimensional vibrations. So maybe a Tracherian amulet might be a better solution? After all, they had similar forging traditions for both. Yes! That was it. He’d have to do a comparative study, and test for anomalies. This was just fascinating! And then he could add fervis root back into the mix, and see if that could counteract-
“So, are you going to get me a fresh drink, or what?”
The bastard was doing it on purpose.
Giles closed his eyes and slowly took a breath. He was not going to lose his temper over something so pathetic as interrupted reading. It would be simply ridiculous. No, he was just going to look up and calmly reply:
“I’ll get you some more when I’ve finished this chapter.”
“Or you could let me up, and I’d get it myself.”
“No.”
“Stubborn git.”
“Still no.”
“You do remember yesterday, right? I was up and about all evening, and everything stayed intact.”
“Fine. Next time you’re under a love spell, you can… actually, I think next time I’d prefer it if you were bound hand and foot and chained to a wall, rather than-”
“Rather than corrupting a sweet innocent flower of a Slayer into having blue tablecloths at the reception instead of bright yellow?”
Giles grimaced. “Something like that. Now, would you kindly stop-”
“Heaven forbid that her wedding show any signs of good taste.”
“Shut up.”
He did, surprisingly.
Giles had read another three pages (fervis root, sympathetic spells effect, and forged iron rings) before he started believing that, this time, he would be able to study undisturbed.
He was congratulating himself on having
-thump-
on having enough perseverance to
-thump-
enough perseverance to win the argument when
-thump-
He gritted his teeth. “Must you make that infernal racket?”
-thump- “Yep.”
Spike was hopping the chair across the room in two-inch increments, a look of intense concentration on his face. -thump-
“What are you doing, exactly?”
“I’m going -thump- to the kitchen. I’m going to make myself -thump- another drink.”
Giles sighed, -thump- exasperatedly, and returned to his -thump- book.
Forged iron could have -thump- some interesting possibilities for reversing set -thump- spells, particularly those developed by -thump- Spanish warlocks, and -thump- honestly, if he had -thump- to spend ONE MORE -thump- EVENING babysitting this lunatic of a vampire he -thump- would go completely and utterly -thu-CRASH-
Giles turned, alarmed, to find Spike lying on his back. Still tied securely to the chair.
He surveyed his predicament. “Bugger.”
Far be it from Giles to laugh at a helpless creature. He bit back a smile, and returned to his book.
Sumerian amulets really were quite fascinating.
“So… can you maybe help me up, or something?”
Giles turned the page, calmly. “Not right now.”
A pause.
“Please?”
“No.”