If you read anything on your friends page, this will be it.

[degeneres]

I saw her from across the kitchen and instantly there was a heat inside of me. There she was, fresh and pretty; just for me. Those curves, those...knobs, that glimmer that you can only get direct from the factory. A virgin, fresh out of the box. That bubble wrap still on the counter, the plastic still covering all her precious glass parts. It

Comments

[swank_h]

I feel dirty now.

[degeneres]

I'll get you some de-greaser.

[swank_h]

You're too good to me.

[degeneres]

That's not possible!

[degeneres]

Split the tart with me?

[degeneres]

That sounds superb, and you're right, it'll go great with the pink panties!

[mrazjt]

I read the whole thing, really, even if my mind started wandering at the mention of bubble wrap since I can never leave it alone until it has no noise left to give.

[degeneres]

You and me and bubble wrap. It could be magic.

[liza_withaz]

I think you're the only person on the planet who can make a toaster erotic. <3

(but then, I'm the one that figured out a way to safely use a blender as a vibrator, so...)

[degeneres]

I don't know, Carlos does a fantastic job. When the two of us pair up, toaster smut hits an all time high!

That makes you my hero.

[me_bello]

I really feel like you should be around for my next re-decorating experience.

[degeneres]

Just say the word and I'm there, blender in hand.