Blackadder, can you explain yourself?

Jan 18, 2013 06:10



Yes. I can.

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL! Second, pardon the slight paraphrasing of the above quote. Third, allow me to explain myself.

So remember how about a month and a half ago my computer hard drive crashed? Well, that whole situation has not yet been resolved. This is, in fact, the second time I've been on a real computer since 2013 began. I was out of town for most of December, first on a job and then on vacation, and upon returning home I finally decided on what computer I wanted, only to find out they're OUT OF STOCK. Naturally. So my epic Good vs. Evil battle with technology continues. Not to mention that for some unknown reason, LJ doesn't work on the borrowed iPad I've been surviving off of since the Great Hard Drive Crash of 2012 (hey, maybe THAT was the end of the world! ...for me.). Like, it just doesn't work. I can't even read comments, let alone respond to them. So that's put a considerable damper on my ability to participate in the world (world = fandom. What else?). Add that to the fact that I have another job with crazy hours, and you get me being perpetually absent to the point that you've probably all forgotten me and the only people reading this post are Alex and Marta because they are my LJ caretakers and pity me. Hi, Alex and Marta. All this is wrapped up with a neat bow of "I'm finally making an appearance in 2013...but I'm leaving town tomorrow for the weekend." My existence is fleeting. #profound

So that's my saga! Super interesting, no? Let's move on.

NEW TVD EPISODE. Guys, this damn show. The past few hiatuses (hiatusi?), I've been surprisingly functional and non-piney, and each time I think, "Hey, maybe I've finally gotten over this show! Maybe I just don't care anymore!"


I will admit, I do care less about a lot of things. Say, the plot. And most of the characters. But then stupid scenes between ridiculous people with ridiculous faces happen, and suddenly I feel hot and flushed and my pulse is racing and I don't even know what's happening. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

And guys, I really, really want to write a recap. I do. But I CAN'T. I'm waking up in 3 hours, and I have important things to do this weekend, and I just can't do my usual (or not so usual anymore, I suppose) recap. So I'm compromising. A quick list of my feels, because I need to do some expression myself (hide your kids, hide your wife). It's better than nothing, no?


~Rebekah remains my lady. Only she could make plot-type things still interesting to me. Love her. Love how much of a bitch she was. You know what I did NOT love? The new previously's in which her motivation was explained as "to be human and *in love.*" Ugh. I don't know why it tweaked me. But it seemed like a trite (and, let's be real, kind of pathetic) oversimplification of Rebekah as a character. Meh. I guess I just read way too much into previously's now.

~Stefan is a hilarious douche. Like. Hilarious. I can't quite figure out what they're doing with him, though. The show kind of oscillated wildly between their usual obsessive support of Stefan (look, he's still trying to protect Elena, ROMANTIC) and a kind of brazen admittance that Stefan Salvatore is the worst. Him asking Rebekah to erase his memories of Elena IN FRONT OF Elena? Honestly, I found it hilarious. But I also don't trust it. Because as much as it's 100% true to character, because Stefan Salvatore IS the worst, the show has never really allowed itself to acknowledge that frankly, and this is really going from 0 to 60 here. So I am on the lookout for the Great Redemption of Stefan Salvatore, Epic Hero. But goodness, do I hope that won't be the case, because this direction is SO much more fun.

~To continue the trend of surprises - the show REMEMBERS that Stefan/Rebekah was a thing? CAN THIS BE REAL? Here's the thing, though. I care less than I wish I did, because Stefan is kind of dead to me now, and god knows Rebekah deserves better. That being said, I'm still 100% down with watching Stefan/Rebekah play together, because if anyone can make me care about Stefan again, it's my blonde vampire lady queen. So carry on, Stefan/Rebekah.

~OH I remembered something I wanted to die in a fire. hated hen Rebekah said that Stefan would take the cure *for* Elena, like it was a sacrifice, and Elena looked at him like that was some grand romantic gesture, when it isn't even arguable that Stefan wants the cure for Stefan and only Stefan. It is not a sacrifice. Stefan wants Elena to take the cure - for Stefan. Stefan would *deign* to take the cure for Elena - so he could get everything he ever wanted. I don't care if this is a case of unreliable narrator. I still wanted to throw things.

~The show did save itself from some of my wrath, though. At the start of Honesty Time when Stefan started talking about how he and Elena fell apart because Elena slept with Damon, I was going to smash my television, but then Elena was allowed to be blissfully honest about how much Stefan Salvatore is the worst, and that eased my rage a bit. But still, this has to be said, even though it's obvious to everyone but Stefan - their breakup had nothing to do with Elena sleeping with Damon. Because they broke up before Elena slept with Damon. Don't be a dick, Stefan. Making it seem like your girlfriend cheated on you and sabotaged your relationship? Dick move.

~Ok, but as for Honesty Time. How RIDICULOUSLY satisfying was it to hear Elen finally e honest with Stefan about the way he's basically emotionally pressured her into feeling wrong. I will never not love the way she phrased it. Feeling like "a project" and "a broken toy that needed to be fixed." Amazing. I actually uttered an out-loud "Good" to my screen after that.

~Also, ngl. I cheered when Elena admitted she's no longer in love with Stefan. Because that was perfect. Yes, she still loves Stefan. No, she's not in love with him anymore. This has been the way of it for longer than anyone would care to admit, but here she's finally calling it what it is. And I loved it. Because she's still Elena. She still cares about Stefan. He's not suddenly dead to her now that she's (finally) fucking Damon, as some of the more uncharitable shippers on both sides seemed to think would be the case. But she's tried for as long as she can to still be in love with him, but the feelings just aren't there anymore, and she's done pretending. Go, my lady, go.

~Lol, how useless was Caroline in this episode. I did very much enjoy Elena's death look after she found out that Caroline betrayed her trust, but jfc, I needed more there. I need Elena to call Caroline out on blatantly prioritizing Stefan's needs over Elena's. This is something that needs to happen if I'm ever to love the Caroline/Elena relationship the way I once did.

~But guys! I had surprise Caroline/Tyler feels! Though they probably shouldn't have been a surprise. Because my favourite thing about Caroline/Tyler since season 3 has always been the way they were just a normal couple being together. It's only when the show tries to insert manufactured angst, epic love drama, or absurd conflict business that I check out of Caro/Tyler. Truth be told, it's because the show shifted them from being these two people who are just together and dealing with things to a star-crossed and/or love triangle-consumed mess that I lost interest in them. But when they resume their original state of being those two people who are just together and handling things as they come? I get suffused with an influx of my old feels for them. Because I loved how Caroline and Tyler were in season 2 and even parts of season 3, and we lost that. But in this episode, seeing her comfort him and just be a loving girlfriend, and seeing him meet her halfway, and skipping all the relationship angst and misunderstandings and needless jealousy? It's good to see you again, Caro/Tyler. I've missed you.

~Remember when I used to care about Klaus? Those were fun days. Now I'm pretty much just "Why are you here" at him every time he shows up. And sometimes even when he doesn't. That whole lovely last scene with Caroline/Tyler, I kept thinking, "ugh, can we PLEASE be rid of all this Klaroline nonsense so we can get back t this?" Make it stop, show. Signed, sincerely, Someone Who Used to Kind of Ship Klaroline But Then It Became A Real Thing And I Side-Eyed the Fuck Out Of It And Now It Needs To Stop Because It's Absurd Thanks Bye.

~Ok, let's talk about Damon. First of all, Damon/Jeremy is a thing that needs to happen always. How much do I love Damon as Angry Gym Coach? VERY MUCH, IS THE ANSWER. Making them do laps. Just.

~So I am so pathetically easy when it comes to my OTP. Half of a voicemail message and I'm lost. Just hearing Elena say that she doesn't like to be away from Damon. I mean, it's obvious and romantic and the sort of thing I usually lol at, but somehow, it just GETS me. What do these two do to me. Ngl, I was replaying that message in my head while I was bored during whatever plot-related scene happened next (probably something to do with Shane or Stefan. Who cares, really.). That's the level I've sunk to. This is a cry for help.

~Ok, confession time. I am a total mess about that D/E phonecall scene (hmm, haven't we been here before? Damon/Elena/Phonecalls = the true Ship of Doom.). But in a sort of weird way? I can't quite figure it out. Because my reaction to it was all over the place. But seriously. On the one hand, it was perfect. Like, amazing. Ian is a bloody wonder. And it was spot on, and his reaction was flawless, and Elena knowing exactly what she wants was fantastic, and everything was wonderful. But it turns out that I'm even more emotionally damaged than I realized, because the scene was legit hard for me to watch. Like, seeing Damon take that declaration, seeing what it meant to him and how it hit him and just, all of it, made me almos uncomfortable, in a nearly secondhand embarrassment kind of way. It was a very strange reaction. It was just TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL OPENNESS for me, and it really got to me in a way I wasn't expecting. Damon and I are alike in that we really can't take that kind of emotional frankness, but then he DID take it, and it sort of floored me. Idk, guys. It was a very odd experience. That being said, the scene also got to me very viscerally in other ways. In OTP flawlessness ways. As in, my heart rate was racing and I felt flushed and hot and I didn't even fully REALIZE it until after the scene was done. I literally put my hand to my forehead like I was checking for a fever, and it was warm to the touch. I mean. These two DO things to me. I don't even understand it. But I have such a powerfully physical reaction to them at this point that it just can't be healthy.

~Though there is a small part of me that wishes that this whole love declaration business had happened in person. Because honestly, I am not one for epic love declarations, AT ALL - but I do know that this is the first time anyone has said 'i love you' to Damon throughout the entire run of the show, and I kind of wanted Elena to see how hard it hit him. Because it was kind of intense to watch, wasn't it? Just saying.

~So I know that now we will have all sorts of conflict about Damon doing some casual murdering. But before we do that, can we just have ALL THE SEX? I never claimed to be a good person.

~But as to said casual murdering, I actually love the way this is hopefully going. I love that Damon flat out told Elena that he was about to do things for her that she would not like. Damon is, as always, a cards on the table kind of guy. And Elena accepted that, in theory, but when she's faced with the reality it's going to be an entirely different story. And this is the story that D/E getting together should always have been about before this sire bond nonsense got in the way. Damon and Elena being in love with each other has never really been the problem. There's been no shortage of feelings on BOTH ends for ages. But Elena would never let herself give into it because she didn't think she could reconcile the person she wanted to be with the way Damon lives. And that's not something that's likely to change. Because Damon is who he is. And what he is is a pragmatist. Damon always does things for a reason. And so long as he has sufficient reason for it, he doesn't care what he does. So when Damon wasn't killing people, it was because he didn't need to be killing people. And when that changed - when the logic shifted and killing became the best option, he went that way instead. Damon is governed by his own sense of reasoning rather than morality. Which has always made his relationship with Elena problematic, because Elena insists on proscribing Good or Bad labels on people. Her position on this has been undergoing a steady transition throughout the years, but still, it's a hard habit to crack. So Elena's biggest problem with being with Damon has always been her ability to accept what he does and not let it necessarily alter her understanding of who he is. To Damon, killing doesn't indiscriminately make you good or bad. But it is hard for Elena to shake her very human logic that killing = bad, and as much progress as she's made in the last few seasons, it will be very difficult for her to deal with not only Damon's actions, but also with his lack of remorse. Damon will defend this latest slew of murders, because in his mind, there was a good enough reason to warrant it. But Elena will struggle with that, and it will be invariably interesting to watch. These two remain the best thing on my TV screen.

~As for things I care less about, April can officially go away. Just saying.

~Also, let's discuss my position on Shane. Up til now, it has been pretty much exclusively nocurr. Slash do not trust the dude, never did, never will. And nothing much has changed. I still don't really care. That being said, while he previously did nothing for me on an attractiveness level, he got about a thousand times hotter to me after he was brutally murdered. What are my life choices even. But really.

~Do not want Bonnie/Professor Shane to happen. Bonnie is so too good for him it's not even funny. Slash I have no interest in watching Bonnie get involved with another expendable character, and while Shane might make it past the season, he's not going to be around forever. Stay away, Bonnie. Go for Jeremy. Just look at the kid's arms. Look at them.

~Lol, Bonnie has a dad. Who's a "traveling pharmaceutical salesman." Which accounts for his total absence for four years. Sure. Ok. Right.

~Ok, so Alex just brought up a super good point I want to mention here. She pointed out how Elena compared the way she feels with Damon vs. how she feels with Stefan by saying that when she's with Damon it's unpredictable and she feels free, and all of that is true and seemed so right to me that I didn't even question it. But Alex just reminded me that not once did Elena ever mention anything about how Damon was "there for her when Stefan wasn't" or something. And that's true too, but honestly, it's a cop-out answer. It's skirting the issue that Elena's feelings for Damon have always been there and would be there even if Stefan had never fucked up at all. This is the sort of answer that the show could use to appease shippers. It's a way for S/E shippers to say, "yeah, Elena feels this way now, BUT...IF..." But the show didn't do that. The show very easily could have made Elena's feelings for Damon (or at least her open acknowledgement of said feelings) circumstantial. But it didn't. Instead, it admitted that her feelings were fundamental. And that' wonderful I mean, it's also 100% true. But the show had an easy way out, and it didn't take it. Well done, show. Way to be true to your storyline and your characters.

~I think that' I mean, I'm sure that I'll be flooded with a million thoughts and feels immediately after I post this. But this brief list has been predictably less than brief (my recap writing is almost as predictable as Stefan is with Elena LOL BURN), and I must needs be going. But let's say this is my Official Unofficial Return to Fandom. Huzzah!

OH I forgot one thing! LONG LIVE DAMON SALVATORE/WHITTLING. A love that will last the ages

this show owns my heart, a filter what is it?, tvd, the vampire diaries, episode reaction post!, my time where did it go, sometimes i do things i don't have to do

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