Fanfiction || The Chain of Destiny || Buffy/Faith || Part Three
Title: The Chain of Destiny
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta: supershineygirl
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length Thus Far: 25,428 words
Timeline: *** AU *** Welcome to me screwing with canon for my own pleasure. Buffy and Faith aren't slayers (yet), Buffy grew up in Sunnydale all her life and is the picture of popularity. Faith moved to Sunnydale eight months ago with her mother and is befriended by only Willow and Xander. I take liberties with canon events and facts and twist them to mold to my needs, you'll learn to either love or hate me for it, I'm sure.
Summary: All her life, Faith struggled with being a nobody. Then suddenly she's hit with the revelation that she's a potential Slayer, and that she and another girl that she's always despised are just pawns in the game of destiny, fate, and maybe even the end of the world...
A/N: Hold onto your hats, boys and girls. This will be one LONG ride...
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO
CHAPTER FIVE
Danger: Do Not Open
Faith had been training with Giles for two weeks.
Willow and Xander would watch her after school - which she was now back and fully functioning in - and just be amazed at all the things Faith was learning. Hell, probably even more amazed that Giles was the one teaching her. Not with the knowledge stuff, they all pretty much expected that, but when Giles started teaching Faith how to fight… yeah, a bit weird to get used to Giles throwing Faith on her ass constantly. But Faith was getting better; quicker. She found that if she relied on her speed more than her strength that she could gain the upper hand occasionally.
Giles was proud of her, that much was clear. He couldn’t hide it even if he tried. He looked down at her with all the fatherly affection that Faith ever really needed in her life. And she loved it, she ate it up. It helped her do better. It made her want to do better; to make him proud. They were starting weapons training and although Faith wasn’t really the best with them, she did relatively okay. She was better with hand to hand though.
It was two days before her birthday, and after they were done training for the day, Faith collapses in one of the chairs in the library in a heap, sweating and worn out. All her muscles hurt and Giles nicked her shoulder with a sword (which he apologized profusely about) and she’s not against passing the hell out right here. She’s exhausted.
“So what are we going to do for your birthday?” Xander asks as he watches Faith wipe the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand… and then watch a bead of sweat disappear down her cleavage. She narrows her eyes and snaps her fingers in his face. “Sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed as he looks back up at her face.
“The Bronze?” Willow suggests, trying to ignore Xander’s perverted behavior. “We can put up banners that say ‘Happy Sweet Sixteen, Faith!’ or something, maybe with streamers and balloons!” Faith looks at her in disbelief. “…Or not,” Willow backtracks. “Streamers w-would be bad, obviously.”
“There ain’t gonna be nothin’ sweet about my sixteenth,” Faith tells her as she catches the towel Giles throws at her. She starts wiping off the sweat on her body as she continues, “I mean yeah, Bronze is cool. But it’s just another night to get trashed, really. I ain’t lookin’ for no big party.”
The phone rings and Giles excuses himself for a minute, stepping into his office.
“Can we at least wear party hats?” Xander asks, and Faith looks at him funny. “What? I like party hats. Can’t a guy like party hats?”
“But Faith, this is your sixteenth birthday,” Willow protests. “We have to do something special!”
“It’s just a birthday, Will. Don’t mean nothin’ really,” Faith says, not getting why everyone is making this into such a big deal. It’s not like she’s ever had a birthday party, ever. Not looking to start now.
“Of course your birthday means something,” Xander says, looking at her, almost studying her. She hates that look so she stands up, rubbing the back of her neck with the towel before throwing it on the counter. She’s not really looking for her friends to analyze her today.
“The Bronze is fine,” she repeats, though her words are a little detached.
Xander and Willow exchange looks.
Giles comes back out of the office, looking a bit solemn. Faith knits her eyebrows together as she notices his expression, and so do Willow and Xander. No one says anything; they just wait for him to talk. They can all feel the tension in the room and Giles sighs, taking his glasses off as he begins to clean them. “The Slayer is dead,” he says finally, not looking at any of them. Faith’s eyes go wide; that only meant one thing.
That someone else was the Slayer now. More importantly; she wasn’t. She was two days shy of becoming in the running. She doesn’t know if she should be happy or feel like breaking things. She’s torn on her feelings so she stays stock still. All her thoughts are rushing through her head and they’re making her feel a bit dizzy, so she puts a hand on the counter to steady herself. Faith’s never done will with overwhelming emotions, let alone conflicting ones.
“A new one has been called,” he says, as he puts back on his glasses with shaky hands. Faith has never seen him tremble before.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, finally finding her voice. She can see Xander and Willow out of her peripheral vision as they stare at Giles. Neither of them says a word; they can tell this is serious.
“They uh…” Giles says, seemingly losing his train of thought for a moment. He takes a breath, “The Zan’Hurrak were correct in their assumption of who it would be… and we have no idea what that means. If they possess a prophecy we do not; what it all means… what will happen to the girl…”
Faith blinks, trying to process that information. That meant… “Wait, so the potential that lives here… she’s the Slayer now? Who is she?”
“I’m afraid I’m not allowed to reveal that,” Giles tells her, though still seems to be lost in his own thoughts.
“Why? I knew about India,” Faith says, her curiosity making her tone border on annoyance since she really wants to know. She sees no point in not knowing now. They were after her as a Potential, right? But now that she’s a Slayer she can probably take them down no problem.
“Faith, please do not argue with me,” Giles says, his voice tired. “Not right now.”
Faith sets her jaw and she knows she’s pouting but damnit she can’t help it. The Slayer lives in her town, goes to her fuckin’ school… and she’s not allowed to know who she is? That’s all kinds of messed up. And all kinds of just not fucking fair.
It’s also not fuckin’ fair that this had to happen two days before she was sixteen. Two damn days. Yeah, it would have scared her shitless at first if she was Chosen, but in the end? This is what she feels like she was born to do. Without it she goes back to being no one. A nobody. Just another kid from the wrong side of the tracks. She doesn’t want to be that!
It’s a startling realization to find that she’s upset. Her throat tightens and it feels like someone is pressing down on her chest; suffocating her.
“I gotta motor,” Faith says, and she can hear the strangled tone in her voice because of how upset she’s becoming the more she thinks about it. She grabs her clothes, not even bothering to change out of her workout ones as she starts to leave.
“Faith!”
But it’s just an echoed call in the distance from her friends as she leaves, pushing open the Library doors heavily and storming out. She just didn’t want to be around all of that right now. She didn’t want to think about how her life is never really gonna change no matter how much she tries. She’s always gonna be stuck in this dirt poor hell, always going to be looked down on cause of where she comes from. It’s never gonna matter cause she’s not gonna ever be doing anything worth it now, right? Fuck it. Unless this Slayer gets offed in the next year, Faith’s chance has come and gone.
And it ain’t like she wants anyone to die just so she can get a chance. But that’s just how it works. And right now? She was feeling a little selfish and having herself one grand fuckin’ pity party.
She knows her eyes are brimming over with tears, but she forces them back. She doesn’t cry. She just doesn’t.
She’s probably some girl that already has so much more than Faith does. Loving, non screwed up parents. Lots of friends. A house. A fucking life. God, it’s just not fair. And yeah, she knows how much of a child she’s being but it’s tearing her to shreds inside because she knows she needs this in her life. She has to be doing something, something good; something right. She needs to make a difference, somehow. Otherwise her whole bullshit life seems pretty damn pointless.
It’s like what people say; nothing worth have is ever easy, and she’s never had it easy. Ever. So why couldn’t this be the one thing that was worth it?
Fuck.
She feels the first tear sneak out and fall down her cheek and it just infuriates her even more as she pushes the double doors open that lead out of the high school. The hot liquid is followed by another and another, falling from her eyes with no remorse and making her vision cloudy. She wipes at the wetness furiously, clenching her teeth and telling herself to be strong. But her train of thought is stopped short when she turns the corner and almost trips over someone who’s curled in a ball, hunched against the wall, crying their eyes out.
Faith stumbles, grabbing hold of the wall to steady herself. The girl looks up at her, surprised to almost be tripped over, and Faith’s eyes widen. It was Buffy. The two girls just stare at each other, each seeing how upset the other is and not finding any words in them to fight right now. Usually there would be jests, torments; but they had nothing. It was almost as if the whole world stops from their shock. They just stare at one another for what seems like forever.
Faith had never seen Buffy cry before. Little-Ms.-Perfect was always so happy. Though, on the flip side, no one has also ever seen Faith cry before. Not even Willow or Xander.
They just stare at each other.
Faith feels a pull that she’d rather ignore. The nice person in her wants to ask her what’s wrong, but the logical person in her is telling her not to care because Buffy’s a two faced, stuck up bitch. Besides, she has her own problems right now.
But she can’t move. They both just stare. Maybe worried who’s going to make the first move. Who’s gonna move this out of awkward and into the reality that they know - where they despise each other’s existence.
“…Do you know?” Buffy asks her softly, finally, sniffing a little as she wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. Faith can see her smudge dirt under her eye when she does it, a result from her sitting on the ground and pulling up the grass as she cried. Faith wants to lean down and wipe it away, but controls herself.
Faith’s momentarily stunned from the words being brought into this situation. “Know what?” she asks, hesitantly. She can hear her voice crack from the strain and she winces at the sound.
“Oh,” Buffy says quietly, apparently realizing she doesn’t know whatever it is that she’s talking about; why she’s crying. But she doesn’t know why Buffy would even think she did - she never gave a crap about her life.
And she’s not about to start now.
“This never happened; we never saw each other,” Faith tells her finally, feeling the lump in her throat more than she’d like to. She just needs to get out of there, but she needs to make sure that Buffy won’t go running and telling everyone she knows that she saw Faith crying.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Buffy practically whispers, too distraught to really make her voice go to full strength. Faith looks at her, trying to see if she’s lying, but she can’t see a hint of it anywhere.
Faith nods shortly before backing up a few steps slowly. The two girls’ eyes are locked on each other and Faith feels that annoying pull that she needs to get away from. But she can’t find it in herself to leave and she idly wonders when the hell she started caring about stupid bitches. But what goes on right now they agreed never happened after they part ways, so Faith gives into the nice person inside of her and bends down so she’s level with Buffy.
Buffy looks almost scared of her, like she’s just going to tear her down after all, but Faith gives her a small smile. She reaches her hand up slowly, tentatively, before she wipes the dirty away from Buffy’s cheek. She watches the blonde’s bottom lip tremble at the gesture and it makes her feel all kinds of weird that she’s never really experienced. Then again, being nice to someone who she can barely stand was a weird experience in itself.
“Dirt,” Faith says softly in explanation. Buffy sniffles a little as her eyes find hers. She then reaches up and covers Faith’s hand that’s on her cheek with hers, and Faith can feel a warmth go through her. That can’t be good. This definitely never happened after she leaves here.
“Thanks…” Buffy says softly, curling her fingers around Faith’s hand, holding it, before moving it away from her face. She doesn’t let go of her hand though and Faith isn’t real sure what to do anymore. This isn’t exactly a situation she’s ever been in before.
This is getting too weird, so Faith decides leaving would probably be the best option.
She untangles her hand from Buffy’s as she stands up, but not before stupidly telling her quietly, “Pretty girls shouldn’t cry.” She has no idea where that came from and it freaks her out, so she turns to leave. Of all the things to say, that really shouldn’t have been one of them. She stops though once she hears Buffy’s soft response.
“…Then why are you crying?”
Faith swallows hard, feeling the tears well up again in her eyes as she thinks of the answer. She looks over her shoulder at the girl on the ground and tells her honestly, her voice cracking, “Cause I ain’t pretty, B.”
She wasn’t. She might be hot, sexy, whatever… but she wasn’t pretty. Pretty was something that runs so much deeper than the physical; something that she isn’t and never will be.
“Faith…”
Faith knows she shouldn’t turn back to look at her again. She knows she should keep walking and just forget about this interaction between them, but her feet are rooted to the spot. She wipes away another tear that falls before she turns back to look at Buffy, her chest heavy.
Buffy looks like she’s having some kind of internal struggle as she picks herself up off the ground. She dusts her dirty hands off on her pants and leans heavily against the wall, playing with the hem of her shirt a little self consciously. There’s a long silence, too long.
“What?” Faith asks, her voice strained. She feels like she’s falling into some sort of trap and yet she can’t help her feet that are slowly carrying her over to the blonde. It was almost surreal in a way; this whole interaction. It’s not what should be happening right now and yet both of them are so caught up with being distraught that they throw everything else out the window. Maybe too caught up in needing someone else there while they break, for a change.
Whatever it is, Faith knows this is a bad idea. She knows that come tomorrow Buffy will be back with Cordelia and the rest of the Brady Bunch and taking shit behind her back. Just like Faith knows that tomorrow she’ll be back to doing the same thing to her. But in this moment, right now, neither of them seem to really care. Faith’s standing in front of her now, Buffy’s back against the wall, but she’s not trapping her.
It just is what it is.
It’s this feeling that Faith’s getting in her stomach. It’s not like anything she’s ever really felt before and she can barely find words to explain it. But it’s like her body is instinctively reacting to the abnormal; pulling her in so she can find some sort of peace with it. It seems to be nerves more than peace, but she can still feel the calm that’s settling over her from somebody new actually caring. Someone that she never thought would ever give a shit.
Buffy’s looking up at her now and Faith can tells that for once she’s not scared to have Faith close to her. Most people start to tense up, afraid that Faith is going to hurt them. Not that she can blame them. She knows she has problems with her anger. But she’s not angry now, just upset. Buffy brings her hand up slowly, and Faith can see that it’s shaking a little. Her trembling fingers touch the brunette’s cheek softly and she tells her, “You’re beautiful…”
Faith doesn’t know how to respond to that. She feels like the whole world is turning upside down in front of her. Her voice is shaking from the reaction to Buffy’s soft caress as she asks her, “What are you doing?”
“I just don’t want to hurt right now,” Buffy tells her softly; vulnerable. Faith feels her chest tighten and the hot sting of tears in her eyes as she watches another fall down Buffy’s cheek. Faith wipes it away automatically with her thumb, taking in a shaky breath.
“This is probably a bad idea,” Faith says softly, just needing to voice that out loud. Buffy smiles a little, sadly. She nods in agreement.
“Yeah…” she sniffs a little as she caresses Faith’s cheek, wiping away a tear that’s fallen. “But this never happened, so I just…” Her glistening eyes scan Faith’s face for a moment. Fear hits the younger girl as she thinks Buffy’s about to kiss her and screw with the balance of reality, but Buffy just wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her into a hug instead.
Faith’s shocked still for a moment. She’s still trying to process what the hell is going on, but her arms snake around Buffy’s waist of their own accord as she pulls her closer to her. They just stand there, the two of them, embracing for what feels like forever as both of their eyes spill tears.
Yeah, this never happened. This is too weird for this to ever have really happened.
When they finally step away from each other, both of them have seemed to have calmed down a little. Buffy gives her a small smile, almost a thank you, and Faith returns it. She realizes her hands are shaking so she shoves them in her pockets, looking down at the ground as she steps further away from her. “Never happened,” she repeats softly.
“I know,” Buffy says quietly, and Faith’s eyes flicker to hers before she takes another step back. It takes forever, but finally she’s able to move more, and she turns, walking away.
She doesn’t look back; she knows she can’t. It was too weird, all of it. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Girls like them are never meant to ever have any kind of moment of mutual understanding and respect. But they did, and Faith sighs as she speeds up her pace, running a shaky hand through her hair as she walks away from the school and back towards her motel room.
Well, that’s one thing Faith’s going to tuck away in the back of her mind and label ‘DANGER: DO NOT OPEN.’ She knows it would just confuse her life even more. She doesn’t want to analyze what she just felt and what the hell that even means because it just… it doesn’t make any sense. And if Faith can’t rationalize it, she can’t deal. She can say that yeah, they were both upset and they just needed some comfort, maybe from someone they won’t have to deal with every day. It makes sense on the outside, but once you dig deeper… there’s something she can’t figure out. She’s also pretty sure she doesn’t ever want to figure it out too.
She doesn’t like Buffy. She’s selfish, annoying, two-faced, and just plain fuckin’ mean most of the time. She never wants to ever look at her as something more than that. She never wants to see her as a person with actual feelings.
So she files it away, pushing it out of her mind. That never happened.
Faith walks into her hotel room and automatically grabs her mother’s stash she had hidden away behind a painting on the wall. She needed to check on her; see if everything was okay. Give her mother her daily dose of disaster, whatever. She sighs as she looks at the tiny baggie in her hand and has the urge to set herself up a line, but pushes that away quickly. The last thing she needs to become is a drug addict. She’s better than that. She has to be.
Faith opens the door that separates her and Caroline’s room and her mother looks up as she sees her enter. She gives her a smile. Thank god it’s one of her good days; she doesn’t think she can deal with another bad one right now. “Hey,” Faith says softly, shuffling inside.
“Hi honey, how was school?”
Faith just shrugs, not feeling much life in her. She hands her mother her drugs and sighs, flopping on the bed next to her. “It was school,” she says flatly.
Caroline frowns a bit as she shakes her baggie, loosening the powder. She puts a hand on Faith’s back comfortingly. “You wanna talk about it?” She can always tell when something’s off with her daughter. Faith just shrugs again, leaning her head on her mom’s shoulder. Caroline runs her fingers through her hair. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing, I’ll be fine. Just a fucked up day. Whatever,” Faith avoids. Caroline doesn’t push her. She starts setting up a line on her bedside table and then hands Faith back the bag, who shoves it in her pocket and hands her a dollar bill. Caroline smiles at her a little softly and starts rolling the bill.
“Turn around,” she tells her.
Faith sighs heavily. “Mum, it’s not like I don’t-”
“Turn around,” Caroline says firmly. Faith sighs and turns her back from her. This is always so pointless; she knows her mother does drugs. But Caroline never wants her to actually see her doing them. She hears the sound of her snorting up the cocaine and turns back around to face her once she’s done.
“I got homework,” Faith tells her, standing up. She just needs to be alone right now.
“Okay, sweetie. But if you want to talk…”
“I know, Mum. Thanks,” Faith says with a small smile before she turns and leaves the room. After she closes the door behind her she leans against it, staring out the window on the opposite side of the room.
She hated today.
CHAPTER SIX
Not Much Cause for Celebration
Faith’s never been real big on birthdays.
Frankly, she’s never thought there was much of a reason to celebrate the day she was born. Celebrate her life, whatever. It’s not really anything that calls for that sort of thing. Not that she’s the emo suicidal type; she’s more along the lines of indifferent about it all. She’s on this earth, okay yeah, but no reason to throw one big hurrah over it. Life sure as hell hasn’t thrown one big hurrah over her.
Willow and Xander didn’t ask about why she stormed out two days ago. They didn’t have to, they already knew. They didn’t talk about it, though probably because they know Faith’s not real big on the taking out her issues thing. They would give her small smiles though, nothing big, but enough for her to know that they were there for her when she needed them.
She’s still upset about the whole Slayer thing. That probably won’t be going away any time soon. But she’s still training with Giles; preparing for the “what if’s” in life.
Whatever happened between her and Buffy that day was definitely over. Cordelia and Harmony were up to their usual tricks and Buffy was right alongside with them. Faith tried like hell not to notice how Buffy’s heart didn’t exactly seem into the whole jesting and torments, but only cause it’s easier for both of them if she just goes back to the way it was. Then again, Buffy’s never been one to be outright mean; only backing up Cordelia and Harmony when she’s expected to, but the last two days she’s been going out of her way to do it. Like she said; heart not totally in it, but she was damn well trying. Probably cause it freaked her out as much as Faith; what went on.
Not like Faith’s really gonna complain. She’d rather hate the bitch then actually give a shit about her. Hating is just easier, which is what Buffy seems to be exercising as well. Hell, hating was far less fuckin’ complicated.
But now it was her sixteen birthday and she was at The Bronze with Willow and Xander who were wearing party hats. Xander was far too into the idea and Faith relented with a scowl as he pulls one over her head, the rubber band smacking her chin a bit. She narrows her eyes at him but he just grins.
“Just be happy I didn’t let Willow hang the banner she made,” Xander tells her with a goofy grin. Faith rolls her eyes.
“It was a nice banner!” Willow protests, a little pout on her lips. She looks at Faith then in all her party hat glory and smiles, “Aw, you look cute, Faith.” Faith flashes her eyes at her, trying to look menacing, but Willow just giggles.
Faith idly remembers when her scary looks used to actually have an effect on them. Not so much anymore.
“Cute,” Faith mumbles under her breath, annoyed, as she goes to take off the party hat. Xander practically jumps on her before she has a chance though, tripping a bit as he falls into her lap, hands firmly planted on her head to keep the hat on. Faith cocks an eyebrow at him.
“Xand, while I know you like the ogle the goodies every now and then, climbin’ on top of me ain’t swaying me from the gay side of the tracks.”
Xander looks flustered as he gets off of her. “I wasn’t… I didn’t- your hat!” he points out feebly. It makes Faith laugh a little and she slaps him on the back.
“Relax. I’m just fuckin’ with you. I’ll keep the damn thing on if it makes you happy.” She adjusts the string a bit underneath her chin though; annoyed with the way it dug into her. “I probably look wicked retarded in this thing, but hey, if it gets your rocks off…” She smirks.
“There are no rocks!” Xander protests, embarrassed as he scrambles back to his seat. “There’s never been any rocks with you or any party hats involved! Especially not with you wearing said party hat right now!”
Faith just smirks more. “Dude, you seriously need to get laid. You’re wound way too tight.” Xander decides to just focus on his drink in front of him instead of looking at her and babbling out more stupid things.
Willow’s looking at her disapprovingly.
“What?”
“You’re grumpy today,” Willow comments.
“Hey, I was just jokin’ around, how does that make me grumpy?” Faith protests as she picks up her drink and takes a good long sip.
“You… you get all sexual when you’re grumpy and trying to hide it,” Willow observes. Faith narrows her eyes.
“You better not be studying me for that Psych college course your taking.”
“N-No, I’m… I’m not. Just… noticed,” Willow says, flushing a little. It makes Faith actually wonder if she really is studying her for some kind of school project. That’d be all kinds of fucked up.
“Well I ain’t real big on birthdays,” Faith tells her flatly, but honestly.
“We’re going to change that!” Willow says excitedly as she gets up. “W-We got you a cake!” And then she darts off into the other direction, leaving Faith to stare after her, then shifting her line of site to Xander.
“Gimme the liquor bottle.”
Xander laughs but hands it over to her, making sure to keep it hidden from the employees. They didn’t really like people bringing in their own stuff, but Faith drank like a fish and didn’t have enough money in her pockets to pay for all of that. She takes a couple long swigs, feeling the alcohol burn down her throat.
“It’s just a cake,” Xander says, looking at Faith like her reaction towards it is bordering on hilarious.
“Says you,” she says flatly and takes another couple of gulps.
It’s not like she doesn’t like cake. Cake’s a great fuckin’ food, whatever. The thing that goes along with cake though is the candles and the singing, and oh god she needs to be fucking drunk for all of that. She spots Willow heading in her direction with a large cake and she damn near downs the entire bottle in one go. Xander’s eyes go wide.
“You should probably slow down…”
“I’m good,” Faith says, feeling her head cloud a bit as it starts to kick in slowly. Okay, she can do this. She can let them do the candles and the happy birthday singing bullshit. Only cause they’re her friends and maybe cause she doesn’t want to make Willow pout again.
She remembers when she used to not give a shit. Then she also remembers when she didn’t have any friends, so not giving a shit kinda pales in comparison on the list of suckier things.
Willow’s all smiles and joy as she comes over with the big cake, setting it down in front of her. “Happy Birthday, Faith!”
Faith looks down at the cake and reads the words they spelled out. Happy Birthday Faith! The #1 Potential Slayer. Faith can feel herself smiling before she can stop it. She chuckles a little, shaking her head, “You guys are nuts…”
Willow’s positively beaming though and Xander looks proud of himself as well. “We thought you’d get a kick out of it,” Xander tells her with a shrug. “And it’s not like anyone else around here is going to understand what it means.” Faith nods; that’s true. They’d probably think she’s trying out to be in a gang, which would be funny as hell anyway.
Faith ain’t gonna jump for joy over it though, ain’t gonna say that yeah, it makes her really fuckin’ happy, even though it does. She just ain’t the gushing type, but she smiles and says, “I dig it. It’s cool,” while completely ignoring that she feels like she wants to bounce around.
She’ll blame the liquor on that though.
“And look! Look at the candles!” Willow says excitedly as she pulls them out. “I carved them to look like little stakes!” And sure enough, she did. Sticking the pointy end into the cake, Faith can do nothing else but laugh at how cute and excitable she’s being.
Honestly, it ain’t so bad; the birthday thing. Her friends were making it suck a whole lot less, that’s for sure. Even if this ain’t her idea of a party, she’s enjoying herself.
And she’s kind of drunk already. That shit was starting to hit her fast. Maybe she should have slowed down. She might have a tolerance, but she was still only sixteen.
But she didn’t mind it so much. It was starting to make her loosen up about the whole birthday party deal, and when Willow and Xander lit the candles and started singing “Happy Birthday” (Xander decided that the version ‘you live in a zoo’ would be better) she was giggling and feeling alright.
“Make a wish!” Willow exclaims, clapping her hands together a little.
Faith purses her lips together as she pretends to think. But she already knows what she wants. She leans up on the stool, hovering over the cake, and as she blows out the candles she wishes: I wish I was the Slayer.
Their party is interrupted though by none other than the Queen Bitch herself, who apparently decided that since Faith inadvertently ruined Harmony’s birthday by outing her, she had to return the favor. The ruining part, anyway. Faith’s been outted more times by them that it really doesn’t even bother her anymore. She’s never been one to shout her business at the world, but after awhile it just gets kinda fuckin’ old; repetitive.
“Like celebrating your birth is any cause of celebration,” Cordelia says irritably as she waltzes right up to their table, her two blonde minions in tow.
Faith, in all her drunken haze, lets that get to her probably more than it should. Only cause she was thinking the same thing herself not thirty minutes ago. She turns around slowly, her gaze situated on the brunette. “You lookin’ to get your face rearranged again? Ain’t on school property, worst they can do is kick me out.”
“Wrong, Slut-O-Rama. Worst that can happen is that I press charges on your skanky ass.”
Faith stands up then, getting in her face. “Do it,” she snarls. “I fuckin’ dare you.”
“Faith…” Willow warns softly, but Faith doesn’t listen to her.
“Hey!” Buffy says, finally finding some kind of voice and stepping in front of Cordelia, almost protecting her. “How about you back off of her?” Faith raises her eyebrows at Buffy’s sudden boldness. Damn, look who grew a pair. She licks her bottom lip a little as she takes in the sight of Buffy with big girl panties on.
“Stickin’ up for your girlfriend now? That’s kinda sweet, B.”
Yeah, their little moment they had the other day was definitely over.
“My name is Buffy,” Buffy tells her, her eyes flashing. Faith ain’t gonna lie; it’s kind of a turn on. Not cause of Buffy or whatever. Maybe she’s just drunk, but the feisty part of the blonde was looking a lot more delicious than she would have expected.
She practically leers at her, and it makes Buffy’s eyes go wide, but not before her eyes swept down Faith’s body, taking in every inch of her form. It was quick, but Faith caught it.
Faith just kinda wants to fuck with her. It’d be funny just cause she’s drunk and hey, it’s her birthday. She can screw with people if she wants to, or however that song goes.
Her eyes never break contact with hers as her finger trails down the side of the cake, getting some of the frosting on her finger. Buffy seems to be almost mesmerized as Faith brings it up to her full lips before she wraps her mouth around her finger, sucking it gently, making note of how Buffy’s pupils seem to darken. She smirks and asks, “You want a taste, B?” There were so many innuendoes in that she didn’t even know where to start.
“Ew, gross!” Cordelia exclaims loudly, disgusted.
That seems to snap Buffy out of whatever place she found herself in five minutes ago. Her eyes harden and she pushes Faith back, making her actually stumble. She has to hold onto the table to support herself so she doesn’t fall. Damn, she must be drunker than she thought, because Buffy doesn’t look like she’d be all that strong.
“I’d never be that desperate,” Buffy spits out at her, clearly more furious that Faith actually got a reaction out of her. That knowledge right there is the only reason Faith doesn’t start pounding on her for pushing her. She just smirks. She still won that round; least on the field she’s been playing.
“Oh please, Twinkie. I see the way you look at me, hell, even the way you look at Queen Bitch over here. You’d be begging me to touch you just a little bit more…”
Faith knows she should stop - knows this has gone way past the usual, but she’s drunk, fuckin’ pissed, even more fuckin’ horny, and it’s just too damn easy to screw with a closet case like Buffy.
“Ugh, let’s get out of here before I start breaking out in hives,” Cordelia says with a disgusted scoff as she puts her hand on Buffy’s arm, trying to lead her away, but Buffy doesn’t move, she’s just seething as she stares at Faith. “Uh, hello? Buffy? Leaving now.”
“Go on with your girlfriend, Princess,” Faith mocks. “Let her walk in front of you so you can stare at her ass like you can’t get enough of it. I know how much you like that.”
Faith knows she’s asking for it. She just doesn’t know what exactly she’s asking for at this point. She’s too drunk and too pissed to think straight.
Apparently Buffy is too. Pissed that is, cause she can tell she ain’t drunk.
She rips her arm away from Cordelia and has her hands on Faith faster than the younger girl can even comprehend. When her back collides with the wall and pain shoots down her spine she can hear the combined cries of “Buffy!” and “Faith!” from both of their circle of friends. Faith tries to move, tries to get the bitch off of her so she can just fucking kill her, but finds she’s pinned. God, she’s never drinking again if it’s affecting her strength this badly.
“Buffy! What is your damage?!” Cordelia yells at her friend, clearly thinking that they were above physical violence. That they were the girls who press charges, not get charges dealt on them.
“Stay out of this Cordelia!” Buffy yells at her, to which Cordelia scoffs, gives an overly dramatic flick of her hair and storms off.
“Come on Harmony. Buffy’s obviously been infected by loser.” The two leave, clearly able to dump friends as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Strangely, Buffy doesn’t even seem to care.
“L-Leave Faith alone!” Willow stammers, eyes wide as she watches Faith be powerless to a woman half her size. It was a bit fucked up, that’s for sure. But neither Buffy or Faith are playing much attention; they’re just staring at each other. Their eyes pierce into each other, tying to dominate the other without words for a second.
“Couldn’t wait to get your hot little body pressed against me, huh?” Faith says, using sexuality to try to disarm her since she’s too trashed to even get out of this on her own. Then again, it was her mouth that got her into this mess. She ain’t gonna lie; her pride is taking an ass whoopin’ right now.
“You don’t know the first thing about me,” Buffy hisses, her face much too close for comfort. It really does nothing to dull the itch she’s feeling right now. She might hate her, might fuckin’ want to bash her head into the nearest wall just for kicks, but she was intoxicated and something about dominant Buffy was getting her all kinds of hot.
Not that she’d fuck her. She’s still got her standards. She ain’t opposed to thinking about it later when she’s fucking herself though. Just as long as no one knows.
Xander’s starting to come over, now out of his little daze that was two girls fighting, and is probably gonna try to break it up. But Faith doesn’t want him too; some sick little part of her likes this. “I got this Xand,” she says, but doesn’t even look at him. She sees him stop out of her peripheral vision and she presses her lower half of her body firmly into Buffy. She watches her zone out for a second from the feeling.
“I know more than you’d think, B,” Faith says, her voice low and husky from her arousal. “You can stand there and act like you’re straight as a fuckin’ arrow, but I can see…” she chuckles a little as she pushes into her more, making Buffy let out a tiny breath, “I can feel what I do to you…”
“You’re disgusting,” Buffy tells her in a low voice, her anger clear, getting even worse as the situation continues and Faith pushes her buttons. “Even if I was gay… I’d never sleep with you.” She pushes her back again, letting Faith go as she turns to walk away, trying to get back some of her self control.
But Faith’s furious. She dusts herself off, trying to get a hold of her pride again as she snaps, “So what? I’m not good enough to fuck but I’m good enough for you to cry all over?” She knows she shouldn’t have gone there; that place was completely off limits.
That makes Buffy turn around quickly. “In case you forgot, you were crying all over me too.” Faith’s eye’s flash as she just lays that out in the open for anyone to play with. Buffy shakes her head in disgust, “Just go to hell, Faith. God, I can’t believe I ever thought…”
“Ever thought what?” Faith snaps, now past caring at this point. She’ll deal with the crying thing later.
Buffy gives her a little laugh, which is more scornful than anything. “You and I have something in common. And if you took your head out of your ass for one second, you might be able to see it.” Her eyes glance over at something on the table, but Faith doesn’t follow her gaze. She’s just staring at her. “But you know what?” Buffy goes on, “I don’t want to know you. Stay away from me.”
Faith yells after her as she goes, but Buffy doesn’t turn around. Her hand balls up into a fist and she screams a little as she punches the wall, knowing that’s gonna hurt like hell in the morning but not caring in the slightest. “I hate her!” she yells, at no one in particular.
Her knuckles are already starting to throb from that stupid move and she covers her fist with her hand as she rubs it. Fuck this. Fuck her. She hates Cordelia, but there’s just something about Buffy that makes her want to take an axe and do things with it other than cut wood. She drives her fuckin’ insane; more than is even normal. There’s no reason why she should get under her skin like this.
“Faith?” Willow asks cautiously, coming up to her. “A-Are you okay?”
“Fine,” Faith says, not being able to hide the anger. She takes a breath and runs her fingers though her hair. “I just… gotta get the fuck outta here.”
“You want us to come with you? We can bring the cake,” Xander offers.
Faith’s about to tell them no, that she just needs to be alone, but she feels bad. They were trying to give her a nice birthday and she screwed it up because of her big fat mouth and her need to be the one on top. She just nods shortly, not trusting her words to not come out harsh.
When they get to her hotel room, Willow and Xander do their best to cheer her up. They stay clear from the topic of Buffy and Faith crying all over each other, which she was grateful for. She knows they’re gonna ask at some point, but they don’t wanna make her day even worse by bringing up Buffy. They’re starting to get that the girl is a sore spot for her, even though they don’t know why. Faith doesn’t even know why she bothers her this badly.
They eat cake, they give her presents, and Faith starts to calm down. She jokes with Xander about his present; a very tight pair of leather pants, which yeah, totally suit her, but she couldn’t resist poking fun about how he probably just bought them to see how fabulous her ass would look all squeezed into them. She was rewarded with him turning bright red and stuttering for a few minutes.
But it wasn’t bad. As far as her birthdays went, this one was by far the most successful, even with the added Buffy drama. They said goodbye and left after a couple hours, leaving Faith to lie on her back and just stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out why the hell some stupid bitch has the power to drive her so damn crazy.
She can’t think of an answer though and soon the liquor takes its toll and she passes out, clothes and all, she hopes that next time she decides to put her foot in her mouth, she at least won’t be intoxicated so she can deal with the backlash.
Because really, getting bested by Buffy Summers? That’s so many fuckin’ ways of not cool.
ON TO PART FOUR...
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta: supershineygirl
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length Thus Far: 25,428 words
Timeline: *** AU *** Welcome to me screwing with canon for my own pleasure. Buffy and Faith aren't slayers (yet), Buffy grew up in Sunnydale all her life and is the picture of popularity. Faith moved to Sunnydale eight months ago with her mother and is befriended by only Willow and Xander. I take liberties with canon events and facts and twist them to mold to my needs, you'll learn to either love or hate me for it, I'm sure.
Summary: All her life, Faith struggled with being a nobody. Then suddenly she's hit with the revelation that she's a potential Slayer, and that she and another girl that she's always despised are just pawns in the game of destiny, fate, and maybe even the end of the world...
A/N: Hold onto your hats, boys and girls. This will be one LONG ride...
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO
CHAPTER FIVE
Danger: Do Not Open
Faith had been training with Giles for two weeks.
Willow and Xander would watch her after school - which she was now back and fully functioning in - and just be amazed at all the things Faith was learning. Hell, probably even more amazed that Giles was the one teaching her. Not with the knowledge stuff, they all pretty much expected that, but when Giles started teaching Faith how to fight… yeah, a bit weird to get used to Giles throwing Faith on her ass constantly. But Faith was getting better; quicker. She found that if she relied on her speed more than her strength that she could gain the upper hand occasionally.
Giles was proud of her, that much was clear. He couldn’t hide it even if he tried. He looked down at her with all the fatherly affection that Faith ever really needed in her life. And she loved it, she ate it up. It helped her do better. It made her want to do better; to make him proud. They were starting weapons training and although Faith wasn’t really the best with them, she did relatively okay. She was better with hand to hand though.
It was two days before her birthday, and after they were done training for the day, Faith collapses in one of the chairs in the library in a heap, sweating and worn out. All her muscles hurt and Giles nicked her shoulder with a sword (which he apologized profusely about) and she’s not against passing the hell out right here. She’s exhausted.
“So what are we going to do for your birthday?” Xander asks as he watches Faith wipe the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand… and then watch a bead of sweat disappear down her cleavage. She narrows her eyes and snaps her fingers in his face. “Sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed as he looks back up at her face.
“The Bronze?” Willow suggests, trying to ignore Xander’s perverted behavior. “We can put up banners that say ‘Happy Sweet Sixteen, Faith!’ or something, maybe with streamers and balloons!” Faith looks at her in disbelief. “…Or not,” Willow backtracks. “Streamers w-would be bad, obviously.”
“There ain’t gonna be nothin’ sweet about my sixteenth,” Faith tells her as she catches the towel Giles throws at her. She starts wiping off the sweat on her body as she continues, “I mean yeah, Bronze is cool. But it’s just another night to get trashed, really. I ain’t lookin’ for no big party.”
The phone rings and Giles excuses himself for a minute, stepping into his office.
“Can we at least wear party hats?” Xander asks, and Faith looks at him funny. “What? I like party hats. Can’t a guy like party hats?”
“But Faith, this is your sixteenth birthday,” Willow protests. “We have to do something special!”
“It’s just a birthday, Will. Don’t mean nothin’ really,” Faith says, not getting why everyone is making this into such a big deal. It’s not like she’s ever had a birthday party, ever. Not looking to start now.
“Of course your birthday means something,” Xander says, looking at her, almost studying her. She hates that look so she stands up, rubbing the back of her neck with the towel before throwing it on the counter. She’s not really looking for her friends to analyze her today.
“The Bronze is fine,” she repeats, though her words are a little detached.
Xander and Willow exchange looks.
Giles comes back out of the office, looking a bit solemn. Faith knits her eyebrows together as she notices his expression, and so do Willow and Xander. No one says anything; they just wait for him to talk. They can all feel the tension in the room and Giles sighs, taking his glasses off as he begins to clean them. “The Slayer is dead,” he says finally, not looking at any of them. Faith’s eyes go wide; that only meant one thing.
That someone else was the Slayer now. More importantly; she wasn’t. She was two days shy of becoming in the running. She doesn’t know if she should be happy or feel like breaking things. She’s torn on her feelings so she stays stock still. All her thoughts are rushing through her head and they’re making her feel a bit dizzy, so she puts a hand on the counter to steady herself. Faith’s never done will with overwhelming emotions, let alone conflicting ones.
“A new one has been called,” he says, as he puts back on his glasses with shaky hands. Faith has never seen him tremble before.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, finally finding her voice. She can see Xander and Willow out of her peripheral vision as they stare at Giles. Neither of them says a word; they can tell this is serious.
“They uh…” Giles says, seemingly losing his train of thought for a moment. He takes a breath, “The Zan’Hurrak were correct in their assumption of who it would be… and we have no idea what that means. If they possess a prophecy we do not; what it all means… what will happen to the girl…”
Faith blinks, trying to process that information. That meant… “Wait, so the potential that lives here… she’s the Slayer now? Who is she?”
“I’m afraid I’m not allowed to reveal that,” Giles tells her, though still seems to be lost in his own thoughts.
“Why? I knew about India,” Faith says, her curiosity making her tone border on annoyance since she really wants to know. She sees no point in not knowing now. They were after her as a Potential, right? But now that she’s a Slayer she can probably take them down no problem.
“Faith, please do not argue with me,” Giles says, his voice tired. “Not right now.”
Faith sets her jaw and she knows she’s pouting but damnit she can’t help it. The Slayer lives in her town, goes to her fuckin’ school… and she’s not allowed to know who she is? That’s all kinds of messed up. And all kinds of just not fucking fair.
It’s also not fuckin’ fair that this had to happen two days before she was sixteen. Two damn days. Yeah, it would have scared her shitless at first if she was Chosen, but in the end? This is what she feels like she was born to do. Without it she goes back to being no one. A nobody. Just another kid from the wrong side of the tracks. She doesn’t want to be that!
It’s a startling realization to find that she’s upset. Her throat tightens and it feels like someone is pressing down on her chest; suffocating her.
“I gotta motor,” Faith says, and she can hear the strangled tone in her voice because of how upset she’s becoming the more she thinks about it. She grabs her clothes, not even bothering to change out of her workout ones as she starts to leave.
“Faith!”
But it’s just an echoed call in the distance from her friends as she leaves, pushing open the Library doors heavily and storming out. She just didn’t want to be around all of that right now. She didn’t want to think about how her life is never really gonna change no matter how much she tries. She’s always gonna be stuck in this dirt poor hell, always going to be looked down on cause of where she comes from. It’s never gonna matter cause she’s not gonna ever be doing anything worth it now, right? Fuck it. Unless this Slayer gets offed in the next year, Faith’s chance has come and gone.
And it ain’t like she wants anyone to die just so she can get a chance. But that’s just how it works. And right now? She was feeling a little selfish and having herself one grand fuckin’ pity party.
She knows her eyes are brimming over with tears, but she forces them back. She doesn’t cry. She just doesn’t.
She’s probably some girl that already has so much more than Faith does. Loving, non screwed up parents. Lots of friends. A house. A fucking life. God, it’s just not fair. And yeah, she knows how much of a child she’s being but it’s tearing her to shreds inside because she knows she needs this in her life. She has to be doing something, something good; something right. She needs to make a difference, somehow. Otherwise her whole bullshit life seems pretty damn pointless.
It’s like what people say; nothing worth have is ever easy, and she’s never had it easy. Ever. So why couldn’t this be the one thing that was worth it?
Fuck.
She feels the first tear sneak out and fall down her cheek and it just infuriates her even more as she pushes the double doors open that lead out of the high school. The hot liquid is followed by another and another, falling from her eyes with no remorse and making her vision cloudy. She wipes at the wetness furiously, clenching her teeth and telling herself to be strong. But her train of thought is stopped short when she turns the corner and almost trips over someone who’s curled in a ball, hunched against the wall, crying their eyes out.
Faith stumbles, grabbing hold of the wall to steady herself. The girl looks up at her, surprised to almost be tripped over, and Faith’s eyes widen. It was Buffy. The two girls just stare at each other, each seeing how upset the other is and not finding any words in them to fight right now. Usually there would be jests, torments; but they had nothing. It was almost as if the whole world stops from their shock. They just stare at one another for what seems like forever.
Faith had never seen Buffy cry before. Little-Ms.-Perfect was always so happy. Though, on the flip side, no one has also ever seen Faith cry before. Not even Willow or Xander.
They just stare at each other.
Faith feels a pull that she’d rather ignore. The nice person in her wants to ask her what’s wrong, but the logical person in her is telling her not to care because Buffy’s a two faced, stuck up bitch. Besides, she has her own problems right now.
But she can’t move. They both just stare. Maybe worried who’s going to make the first move. Who’s gonna move this out of awkward and into the reality that they know - where they despise each other’s existence.
“…Do you know?” Buffy asks her softly, finally, sniffing a little as she wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. Faith can see her smudge dirt under her eye when she does it, a result from her sitting on the ground and pulling up the grass as she cried. Faith wants to lean down and wipe it away, but controls herself.
Faith’s momentarily stunned from the words being brought into this situation. “Know what?” she asks, hesitantly. She can hear her voice crack from the strain and she winces at the sound.
“Oh,” Buffy says quietly, apparently realizing she doesn’t know whatever it is that she’s talking about; why she’s crying. But she doesn’t know why Buffy would even think she did - she never gave a crap about her life.
And she’s not about to start now.
“This never happened; we never saw each other,” Faith tells her finally, feeling the lump in her throat more than she’d like to. She just needs to get out of there, but she needs to make sure that Buffy won’t go running and telling everyone she knows that she saw Faith crying.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Buffy practically whispers, too distraught to really make her voice go to full strength. Faith looks at her, trying to see if she’s lying, but she can’t see a hint of it anywhere.
Faith nods shortly before backing up a few steps slowly. The two girls’ eyes are locked on each other and Faith feels that annoying pull that she needs to get away from. But she can’t find it in herself to leave and she idly wonders when the hell she started caring about stupid bitches. But what goes on right now they agreed never happened after they part ways, so Faith gives into the nice person inside of her and bends down so she’s level with Buffy.
Buffy looks almost scared of her, like she’s just going to tear her down after all, but Faith gives her a small smile. She reaches her hand up slowly, tentatively, before she wipes the dirty away from Buffy’s cheek. She watches the blonde’s bottom lip tremble at the gesture and it makes her feel all kinds of weird that she’s never really experienced. Then again, being nice to someone who she can barely stand was a weird experience in itself.
“Dirt,” Faith says softly in explanation. Buffy sniffles a little as her eyes find hers. She then reaches up and covers Faith’s hand that’s on her cheek with hers, and Faith can feel a warmth go through her. That can’t be good. This definitely never happened after she leaves here.
“Thanks…” Buffy says softly, curling her fingers around Faith’s hand, holding it, before moving it away from her face. She doesn’t let go of her hand though and Faith isn’t real sure what to do anymore. This isn’t exactly a situation she’s ever been in before.
This is getting too weird, so Faith decides leaving would probably be the best option.
She untangles her hand from Buffy’s as she stands up, but not before stupidly telling her quietly, “Pretty girls shouldn’t cry.” She has no idea where that came from and it freaks her out, so she turns to leave. Of all the things to say, that really shouldn’t have been one of them. She stops though once she hears Buffy’s soft response.
“…Then why are you crying?”
Faith swallows hard, feeling the tears well up again in her eyes as she thinks of the answer. She looks over her shoulder at the girl on the ground and tells her honestly, her voice cracking, “Cause I ain’t pretty, B.”
She wasn’t. She might be hot, sexy, whatever… but she wasn’t pretty. Pretty was something that runs so much deeper than the physical; something that she isn’t and never will be.
“Faith…”
Faith knows she shouldn’t turn back to look at her again. She knows she should keep walking and just forget about this interaction between them, but her feet are rooted to the spot. She wipes away another tear that falls before she turns back to look at Buffy, her chest heavy.
Buffy looks like she’s having some kind of internal struggle as she picks herself up off the ground. She dusts her dirty hands off on her pants and leans heavily against the wall, playing with the hem of her shirt a little self consciously. There’s a long silence, too long.
“What?” Faith asks, her voice strained. She feels like she’s falling into some sort of trap and yet she can’t help her feet that are slowly carrying her over to the blonde. It was almost surreal in a way; this whole interaction. It’s not what should be happening right now and yet both of them are so caught up with being distraught that they throw everything else out the window. Maybe too caught up in needing someone else there while they break, for a change.
Whatever it is, Faith knows this is a bad idea. She knows that come tomorrow Buffy will be back with Cordelia and the rest of the Brady Bunch and taking shit behind her back. Just like Faith knows that tomorrow she’ll be back to doing the same thing to her. But in this moment, right now, neither of them seem to really care. Faith’s standing in front of her now, Buffy’s back against the wall, but she’s not trapping her.
It just is what it is.
It’s this feeling that Faith’s getting in her stomach. It’s not like anything she’s ever really felt before and she can barely find words to explain it. But it’s like her body is instinctively reacting to the abnormal; pulling her in so she can find some sort of peace with it. It seems to be nerves more than peace, but she can still feel the calm that’s settling over her from somebody new actually caring. Someone that she never thought would ever give a shit.
Buffy’s looking up at her now and Faith can tells that for once she’s not scared to have Faith close to her. Most people start to tense up, afraid that Faith is going to hurt them. Not that she can blame them. She knows she has problems with her anger. But she’s not angry now, just upset. Buffy brings her hand up slowly, and Faith can see that it’s shaking a little. Her trembling fingers touch the brunette’s cheek softly and she tells her, “You’re beautiful…”
Faith doesn’t know how to respond to that. She feels like the whole world is turning upside down in front of her. Her voice is shaking from the reaction to Buffy’s soft caress as she asks her, “What are you doing?”
“I just don’t want to hurt right now,” Buffy tells her softly; vulnerable. Faith feels her chest tighten and the hot sting of tears in her eyes as she watches another fall down Buffy’s cheek. Faith wipes it away automatically with her thumb, taking in a shaky breath.
“This is probably a bad idea,” Faith says softly, just needing to voice that out loud. Buffy smiles a little, sadly. She nods in agreement.
“Yeah…” she sniffs a little as she caresses Faith’s cheek, wiping away a tear that’s fallen. “But this never happened, so I just…” Her glistening eyes scan Faith’s face for a moment. Fear hits the younger girl as she thinks Buffy’s about to kiss her and screw with the balance of reality, but Buffy just wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her into a hug instead.
Faith’s shocked still for a moment. She’s still trying to process what the hell is going on, but her arms snake around Buffy’s waist of their own accord as she pulls her closer to her. They just stand there, the two of them, embracing for what feels like forever as both of their eyes spill tears.
Yeah, this never happened. This is too weird for this to ever have really happened.
When they finally step away from each other, both of them have seemed to have calmed down a little. Buffy gives her a small smile, almost a thank you, and Faith returns it. She realizes her hands are shaking so she shoves them in her pockets, looking down at the ground as she steps further away from her. “Never happened,” she repeats softly.
“I know,” Buffy says quietly, and Faith’s eyes flicker to hers before she takes another step back. It takes forever, but finally she’s able to move more, and she turns, walking away.
She doesn’t look back; she knows she can’t. It was too weird, all of it. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Girls like them are never meant to ever have any kind of moment of mutual understanding and respect. But they did, and Faith sighs as she speeds up her pace, running a shaky hand through her hair as she walks away from the school and back towards her motel room.
Well, that’s one thing Faith’s going to tuck away in the back of her mind and label ‘DANGER: DO NOT OPEN.’ She knows it would just confuse her life even more. She doesn’t want to analyze what she just felt and what the hell that even means because it just… it doesn’t make any sense. And if Faith can’t rationalize it, she can’t deal. She can say that yeah, they were both upset and they just needed some comfort, maybe from someone they won’t have to deal with every day. It makes sense on the outside, but once you dig deeper… there’s something she can’t figure out. She’s also pretty sure she doesn’t ever want to figure it out too.
She doesn’t like Buffy. She’s selfish, annoying, two-faced, and just plain fuckin’ mean most of the time. She never wants to ever look at her as something more than that. She never wants to see her as a person with actual feelings.
So she files it away, pushing it out of her mind. That never happened.
Faith walks into her hotel room and automatically grabs her mother’s stash she had hidden away behind a painting on the wall. She needed to check on her; see if everything was okay. Give her mother her daily dose of disaster, whatever. She sighs as she looks at the tiny baggie in her hand and has the urge to set herself up a line, but pushes that away quickly. The last thing she needs to become is a drug addict. She’s better than that. She has to be.
Faith opens the door that separates her and Caroline’s room and her mother looks up as she sees her enter. She gives her a smile. Thank god it’s one of her good days; she doesn’t think she can deal with another bad one right now. “Hey,” Faith says softly, shuffling inside.
“Hi honey, how was school?”
Faith just shrugs, not feeling much life in her. She hands her mother her drugs and sighs, flopping on the bed next to her. “It was school,” she says flatly.
Caroline frowns a bit as she shakes her baggie, loosening the powder. She puts a hand on Faith’s back comfortingly. “You wanna talk about it?” She can always tell when something’s off with her daughter. Faith just shrugs again, leaning her head on her mom’s shoulder. Caroline runs her fingers through her hair. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing, I’ll be fine. Just a fucked up day. Whatever,” Faith avoids. Caroline doesn’t push her. She starts setting up a line on her bedside table and then hands Faith back the bag, who shoves it in her pocket and hands her a dollar bill. Caroline smiles at her a little softly and starts rolling the bill.
“Turn around,” she tells her.
Faith sighs heavily. “Mum, it’s not like I don’t-”
“Turn around,” Caroline says firmly. Faith sighs and turns her back from her. This is always so pointless; she knows her mother does drugs. But Caroline never wants her to actually see her doing them. She hears the sound of her snorting up the cocaine and turns back around to face her once she’s done.
“I got homework,” Faith tells her, standing up. She just needs to be alone right now.
“Okay, sweetie. But if you want to talk…”
“I know, Mum. Thanks,” Faith says with a small smile before she turns and leaves the room. After she closes the door behind her she leans against it, staring out the window on the opposite side of the room.
She hated today.
CHAPTER SIX
Not Much Cause for Celebration
Faith’s never been real big on birthdays.
Frankly, she’s never thought there was much of a reason to celebrate the day she was born. Celebrate her life, whatever. It’s not really anything that calls for that sort of thing. Not that she’s the emo suicidal type; she’s more along the lines of indifferent about it all. She’s on this earth, okay yeah, but no reason to throw one big hurrah over it. Life sure as hell hasn’t thrown one big hurrah over her.
Willow and Xander didn’t ask about why she stormed out two days ago. They didn’t have to, they already knew. They didn’t talk about it, though probably because they know Faith’s not real big on the taking out her issues thing. They would give her small smiles though, nothing big, but enough for her to know that they were there for her when she needed them.
She’s still upset about the whole Slayer thing. That probably won’t be going away any time soon. But she’s still training with Giles; preparing for the “what if’s” in life.
Whatever happened between her and Buffy that day was definitely over. Cordelia and Harmony were up to their usual tricks and Buffy was right alongside with them. Faith tried like hell not to notice how Buffy’s heart didn’t exactly seem into the whole jesting and torments, but only cause it’s easier for both of them if she just goes back to the way it was. Then again, Buffy’s never been one to be outright mean; only backing up Cordelia and Harmony when she’s expected to, but the last two days she’s been going out of her way to do it. Like she said; heart not totally in it, but she was damn well trying. Probably cause it freaked her out as much as Faith; what went on.
Not like Faith’s really gonna complain. She’d rather hate the bitch then actually give a shit about her. Hating is just easier, which is what Buffy seems to be exercising as well. Hell, hating was far less fuckin’ complicated.
But now it was her sixteen birthday and she was at The Bronze with Willow and Xander who were wearing party hats. Xander was far too into the idea and Faith relented with a scowl as he pulls one over her head, the rubber band smacking her chin a bit. She narrows her eyes at him but he just grins.
“Just be happy I didn’t let Willow hang the banner she made,” Xander tells her with a goofy grin. Faith rolls her eyes.
“It was a nice banner!” Willow protests, a little pout on her lips. She looks at Faith then in all her party hat glory and smiles, “Aw, you look cute, Faith.” Faith flashes her eyes at her, trying to look menacing, but Willow just giggles.
Faith idly remembers when her scary looks used to actually have an effect on them. Not so much anymore.
“Cute,” Faith mumbles under her breath, annoyed, as she goes to take off the party hat. Xander practically jumps on her before she has a chance though, tripping a bit as he falls into her lap, hands firmly planted on her head to keep the hat on. Faith cocks an eyebrow at him.
“Xand, while I know you like the ogle the goodies every now and then, climbin’ on top of me ain’t swaying me from the gay side of the tracks.”
Xander looks flustered as he gets off of her. “I wasn’t… I didn’t- your hat!” he points out feebly. It makes Faith laugh a little and she slaps him on the back.
“Relax. I’m just fuckin’ with you. I’ll keep the damn thing on if it makes you happy.” She adjusts the string a bit underneath her chin though; annoyed with the way it dug into her. “I probably look wicked retarded in this thing, but hey, if it gets your rocks off…” She smirks.
“There are no rocks!” Xander protests, embarrassed as he scrambles back to his seat. “There’s never been any rocks with you or any party hats involved! Especially not with you wearing said party hat right now!”
Faith just smirks more. “Dude, you seriously need to get laid. You’re wound way too tight.” Xander decides to just focus on his drink in front of him instead of looking at her and babbling out more stupid things.
Willow’s looking at her disapprovingly.
“What?”
“You’re grumpy today,” Willow comments.
“Hey, I was just jokin’ around, how does that make me grumpy?” Faith protests as she picks up her drink and takes a good long sip.
“You… you get all sexual when you’re grumpy and trying to hide it,” Willow observes. Faith narrows her eyes.
“You better not be studying me for that Psych college course your taking.”
“N-No, I’m… I’m not. Just… noticed,” Willow says, flushing a little. It makes Faith actually wonder if she really is studying her for some kind of school project. That’d be all kinds of fucked up.
“Well I ain’t real big on birthdays,” Faith tells her flatly, but honestly.
“We’re going to change that!” Willow says excitedly as she gets up. “W-We got you a cake!” And then she darts off into the other direction, leaving Faith to stare after her, then shifting her line of site to Xander.
“Gimme the liquor bottle.”
Xander laughs but hands it over to her, making sure to keep it hidden from the employees. They didn’t really like people bringing in their own stuff, but Faith drank like a fish and didn’t have enough money in her pockets to pay for all of that. She takes a couple long swigs, feeling the alcohol burn down her throat.
“It’s just a cake,” Xander says, looking at Faith like her reaction towards it is bordering on hilarious.
“Says you,” she says flatly and takes another couple of gulps.
It’s not like she doesn’t like cake. Cake’s a great fuckin’ food, whatever. The thing that goes along with cake though is the candles and the singing, and oh god she needs to be fucking drunk for all of that. She spots Willow heading in her direction with a large cake and she damn near downs the entire bottle in one go. Xander’s eyes go wide.
“You should probably slow down…”
“I’m good,” Faith says, feeling her head cloud a bit as it starts to kick in slowly. Okay, she can do this. She can let them do the candles and the happy birthday singing bullshit. Only cause they’re her friends and maybe cause she doesn’t want to make Willow pout again.
She remembers when she used to not give a shit. Then she also remembers when she didn’t have any friends, so not giving a shit kinda pales in comparison on the list of suckier things.
Willow’s all smiles and joy as she comes over with the big cake, setting it down in front of her. “Happy Birthday, Faith!”
Faith looks down at the cake and reads the words they spelled out. Happy Birthday Faith! The #1 Potential Slayer. Faith can feel herself smiling before she can stop it. She chuckles a little, shaking her head, “You guys are nuts…”
Willow’s positively beaming though and Xander looks proud of himself as well. “We thought you’d get a kick out of it,” Xander tells her with a shrug. “And it’s not like anyone else around here is going to understand what it means.” Faith nods; that’s true. They’d probably think she’s trying out to be in a gang, which would be funny as hell anyway.
Faith ain’t gonna jump for joy over it though, ain’t gonna say that yeah, it makes her really fuckin’ happy, even though it does. She just ain’t the gushing type, but she smiles and says, “I dig it. It’s cool,” while completely ignoring that she feels like she wants to bounce around.
She’ll blame the liquor on that though.
“And look! Look at the candles!” Willow says excitedly as she pulls them out. “I carved them to look like little stakes!” And sure enough, she did. Sticking the pointy end into the cake, Faith can do nothing else but laugh at how cute and excitable she’s being.
Honestly, it ain’t so bad; the birthday thing. Her friends were making it suck a whole lot less, that’s for sure. Even if this ain’t her idea of a party, she’s enjoying herself.
And she’s kind of drunk already. That shit was starting to hit her fast. Maybe she should have slowed down. She might have a tolerance, but she was still only sixteen.
But she didn’t mind it so much. It was starting to make her loosen up about the whole birthday party deal, and when Willow and Xander lit the candles and started singing “Happy Birthday” (Xander decided that the version ‘you live in a zoo’ would be better) she was giggling and feeling alright.
“Make a wish!” Willow exclaims, clapping her hands together a little.
Faith purses her lips together as she pretends to think. But she already knows what she wants. She leans up on the stool, hovering over the cake, and as she blows out the candles she wishes: I wish I was the Slayer.
Their party is interrupted though by none other than the Queen Bitch herself, who apparently decided that since Faith inadvertently ruined Harmony’s birthday by outing her, she had to return the favor. The ruining part, anyway. Faith’s been outted more times by them that it really doesn’t even bother her anymore. She’s never been one to shout her business at the world, but after awhile it just gets kinda fuckin’ old; repetitive.
“Like celebrating your birth is any cause of celebration,” Cordelia says irritably as she waltzes right up to their table, her two blonde minions in tow.
Faith, in all her drunken haze, lets that get to her probably more than it should. Only cause she was thinking the same thing herself not thirty minutes ago. She turns around slowly, her gaze situated on the brunette. “You lookin’ to get your face rearranged again? Ain’t on school property, worst they can do is kick me out.”
“Wrong, Slut-O-Rama. Worst that can happen is that I press charges on your skanky ass.”
Faith stands up then, getting in her face. “Do it,” she snarls. “I fuckin’ dare you.”
“Faith…” Willow warns softly, but Faith doesn’t listen to her.
“Hey!” Buffy says, finally finding some kind of voice and stepping in front of Cordelia, almost protecting her. “How about you back off of her?” Faith raises her eyebrows at Buffy’s sudden boldness. Damn, look who grew a pair. She licks her bottom lip a little as she takes in the sight of Buffy with big girl panties on.
“Stickin’ up for your girlfriend now? That’s kinda sweet, B.”
Yeah, their little moment they had the other day was definitely over.
“My name is Buffy,” Buffy tells her, her eyes flashing. Faith ain’t gonna lie; it’s kind of a turn on. Not cause of Buffy or whatever. Maybe she’s just drunk, but the feisty part of the blonde was looking a lot more delicious than she would have expected.
She practically leers at her, and it makes Buffy’s eyes go wide, but not before her eyes swept down Faith’s body, taking in every inch of her form. It was quick, but Faith caught it.
Faith just kinda wants to fuck with her. It’d be funny just cause she’s drunk and hey, it’s her birthday. She can screw with people if she wants to, or however that song goes.
Her eyes never break contact with hers as her finger trails down the side of the cake, getting some of the frosting on her finger. Buffy seems to be almost mesmerized as Faith brings it up to her full lips before she wraps her mouth around her finger, sucking it gently, making note of how Buffy’s pupils seem to darken. She smirks and asks, “You want a taste, B?” There were so many innuendoes in that she didn’t even know where to start.
“Ew, gross!” Cordelia exclaims loudly, disgusted.
That seems to snap Buffy out of whatever place she found herself in five minutes ago. Her eyes harden and she pushes Faith back, making her actually stumble. She has to hold onto the table to support herself so she doesn’t fall. Damn, she must be drunker than she thought, because Buffy doesn’t look like she’d be all that strong.
“I’d never be that desperate,” Buffy spits out at her, clearly more furious that Faith actually got a reaction out of her. That knowledge right there is the only reason Faith doesn’t start pounding on her for pushing her. She just smirks. She still won that round; least on the field she’s been playing.
“Oh please, Twinkie. I see the way you look at me, hell, even the way you look at Queen Bitch over here. You’d be begging me to touch you just a little bit more…”
Faith knows she should stop - knows this has gone way past the usual, but she’s drunk, fuckin’ pissed, even more fuckin’ horny, and it’s just too damn easy to screw with a closet case like Buffy.
“Ugh, let’s get out of here before I start breaking out in hives,” Cordelia says with a disgusted scoff as she puts her hand on Buffy’s arm, trying to lead her away, but Buffy doesn’t move, she’s just seething as she stares at Faith. “Uh, hello? Buffy? Leaving now.”
“Go on with your girlfriend, Princess,” Faith mocks. “Let her walk in front of you so you can stare at her ass like you can’t get enough of it. I know how much you like that.”
Faith knows she’s asking for it. She just doesn’t know what exactly she’s asking for at this point. She’s too drunk and too pissed to think straight.
Apparently Buffy is too. Pissed that is, cause she can tell she ain’t drunk.
She rips her arm away from Cordelia and has her hands on Faith faster than the younger girl can even comprehend. When her back collides with the wall and pain shoots down her spine she can hear the combined cries of “Buffy!” and “Faith!” from both of their circle of friends. Faith tries to move, tries to get the bitch off of her so she can just fucking kill her, but finds she’s pinned. God, she’s never drinking again if it’s affecting her strength this badly.
“Buffy! What is your damage?!” Cordelia yells at her friend, clearly thinking that they were above physical violence. That they were the girls who press charges, not get charges dealt on them.
“Stay out of this Cordelia!” Buffy yells at her, to which Cordelia scoffs, gives an overly dramatic flick of her hair and storms off.
“Come on Harmony. Buffy’s obviously been infected by loser.” The two leave, clearly able to dump friends as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Strangely, Buffy doesn’t even seem to care.
“L-Leave Faith alone!” Willow stammers, eyes wide as she watches Faith be powerless to a woman half her size. It was a bit fucked up, that’s for sure. But neither Buffy or Faith are playing much attention; they’re just staring at each other. Their eyes pierce into each other, tying to dominate the other without words for a second.
“Couldn’t wait to get your hot little body pressed against me, huh?” Faith says, using sexuality to try to disarm her since she’s too trashed to even get out of this on her own. Then again, it was her mouth that got her into this mess. She ain’t gonna lie; her pride is taking an ass whoopin’ right now.
“You don’t know the first thing about me,” Buffy hisses, her face much too close for comfort. It really does nothing to dull the itch she’s feeling right now. She might hate her, might fuckin’ want to bash her head into the nearest wall just for kicks, but she was intoxicated and something about dominant Buffy was getting her all kinds of hot.
Not that she’d fuck her. She’s still got her standards. She ain’t opposed to thinking about it later when she’s fucking herself though. Just as long as no one knows.
Xander’s starting to come over, now out of his little daze that was two girls fighting, and is probably gonna try to break it up. But Faith doesn’t want him too; some sick little part of her likes this. “I got this Xand,” she says, but doesn’t even look at him. She sees him stop out of her peripheral vision and she presses her lower half of her body firmly into Buffy. She watches her zone out for a second from the feeling.
“I know more than you’d think, B,” Faith says, her voice low and husky from her arousal. “You can stand there and act like you’re straight as a fuckin’ arrow, but I can see…” she chuckles a little as she pushes into her more, making Buffy let out a tiny breath, “I can feel what I do to you…”
“You’re disgusting,” Buffy tells her in a low voice, her anger clear, getting even worse as the situation continues and Faith pushes her buttons. “Even if I was gay… I’d never sleep with you.” She pushes her back again, letting Faith go as she turns to walk away, trying to get back some of her self control.
But Faith’s furious. She dusts herself off, trying to get a hold of her pride again as she snaps, “So what? I’m not good enough to fuck but I’m good enough for you to cry all over?” She knows she shouldn’t have gone there; that place was completely off limits.
That makes Buffy turn around quickly. “In case you forgot, you were crying all over me too.” Faith’s eye’s flash as she just lays that out in the open for anyone to play with. Buffy shakes her head in disgust, “Just go to hell, Faith. God, I can’t believe I ever thought…”
“Ever thought what?” Faith snaps, now past caring at this point. She’ll deal with the crying thing later.
Buffy gives her a little laugh, which is more scornful than anything. “You and I have something in common. And if you took your head out of your ass for one second, you might be able to see it.” Her eyes glance over at something on the table, but Faith doesn’t follow her gaze. She’s just staring at her. “But you know what?” Buffy goes on, “I don’t want to know you. Stay away from me.”
Faith yells after her as she goes, but Buffy doesn’t turn around. Her hand balls up into a fist and she screams a little as she punches the wall, knowing that’s gonna hurt like hell in the morning but not caring in the slightest. “I hate her!” she yells, at no one in particular.
Her knuckles are already starting to throb from that stupid move and she covers her fist with her hand as she rubs it. Fuck this. Fuck her. She hates Cordelia, but there’s just something about Buffy that makes her want to take an axe and do things with it other than cut wood. She drives her fuckin’ insane; more than is even normal. There’s no reason why she should get under her skin like this.
“Faith?” Willow asks cautiously, coming up to her. “A-Are you okay?”
“Fine,” Faith says, not being able to hide the anger. She takes a breath and runs her fingers though her hair. “I just… gotta get the fuck outta here.”
“You want us to come with you? We can bring the cake,” Xander offers.
Faith’s about to tell them no, that she just needs to be alone, but she feels bad. They were trying to give her a nice birthday and she screwed it up because of her big fat mouth and her need to be the one on top. She just nods shortly, not trusting her words to not come out harsh.
When they get to her hotel room, Willow and Xander do their best to cheer her up. They stay clear from the topic of Buffy and Faith crying all over each other, which she was grateful for. She knows they’re gonna ask at some point, but they don’t wanna make her day even worse by bringing up Buffy. They’re starting to get that the girl is a sore spot for her, even though they don’t know why. Faith doesn’t even know why she bothers her this badly.
They eat cake, they give her presents, and Faith starts to calm down. She jokes with Xander about his present; a very tight pair of leather pants, which yeah, totally suit her, but she couldn’t resist poking fun about how he probably just bought them to see how fabulous her ass would look all squeezed into them. She was rewarded with him turning bright red and stuttering for a few minutes.
But it wasn’t bad. As far as her birthdays went, this one was by far the most successful, even with the added Buffy drama. They said goodbye and left after a couple hours, leaving Faith to lie on her back and just stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out why the hell some stupid bitch has the power to drive her so damn crazy.
She can’t think of an answer though and soon the liquor takes its toll and she passes out, clothes and all, she hopes that next time she decides to put her foot in her mouth, she at least won’t be intoxicated so she can deal with the backlash.
Because really, getting bested by Buffy Summers? That’s so many fuckin’ ways of not cool.
ON TO PART FOUR...