(Untitled)

[cleolinda]

I can't stop listening to the V for Vendetta soundtrack at this point, which makes this the second Dario Marianelli score in a row that I've gotten hooked on. I'm even to the point in my predictably cyclical obsessions where I would like to listen to something else, maybe some nice Garbage or at least something with guitars and maybe even some

Comments

[allthelivesofme]

Because I can't be the only writer who feels such deep, crippling fear that she can't even open Word in the morning.

You're definitely not. I've been battling writer's block off-and-on for about a month now. It always gets worse right after another rejection slip . . . because however much I know all it means is, "not right for us, sorry, better luck with someone else", some part of me keeps picturing someone looking over the manuscript, rolling his/her eyes, and throwing it away.

The worst part of me is the fragment that thinks he/she is right to do so.

And I won't even get into how "Well, we've got enough material certainly, let's take one series and see what self-publishing has to offer" turns into "You do know that self-publishing is the only thing you'll ever be able to do, because no one with half a brain would buy this stuff?" when I reach a bad spot.

Makes me wonder if 'insecure' is on the Main Trait Checklist of being a writer or something. ;-)

[loramir]

In response to your first paragraph, which caught my eye on my friends page...

Isn't fun to be so obsessed with something that you actually start wishing you weren't? I watched Walk the Line a week ago, and have listened to nothing but the OST or Johnny Cash ever since and practically thought of nothing else. I can't even explain why I loved it so much! Your entry just caught my eye because I totally sympathize. Walk the Line has eaten my soul.

I think everyone's that way about praise and criticism. Praise and positive feedback seems to run together, while every individual negative response, even if it's a legitimate complaint sticks in your mind and harasses you for eons.

[amberdulen]

overlong to boot

Funnily enough, I thought this did a much better job of reining in the length.

Cheers!

[cleolinda]

1. Well, I worked on trying to skip anything that someone who had not seen the movie would not absolutely need to know to understand what was happening.

2. Oh... so the others *were* too long. (Sorry! It's like when someone says you look great, have you lost weight, and your immediate reaction is, "Oh, so I WAS a giant fat-ass before. Just checking." The complimenter can't win, I swear. ; )

[particle_person]

Hee, I got number (2) yesterday, and my reply was that I'd know I looked great when he stops saying I look great.

[leucocrystal]

Oh man, that has to be the best graphical representation of how most artist's take criticism -- myself included.  It's funny, because I'm almost a stickler for punishment in that regard; I say I'd like to receive some criticism, rather than always hearing "Ooh, that picture is so PRETTY!" ("At least some new adjectives would be nice," the more selfish part of me is more likely to say), but when I do, I almost always let it affect me negatively.
I don't know whether it's just the curse of being the creator of something that anyone other than yourself sees or reads, but it seems to be.  But I think it's still for the best, even if you do end up beating yourself up over it, as I tend to do.  Why?  Well, I don't know if it's the same for you, but for me and with my artwork, I am never as happy with the sketches that no one sees -- even if I receive criticism (and sometimes not the friendliest criticism -- I was bashed pretty horribly on my own message board several times by the same guy, about the webcomic I used to draw and host), I'm

[cleolinda]

Okay, you picked exactly the other two songs on my playlist. It's those two and the "Dominoes" one, completely. And I love the Knives/Bullets/Cannons one too, and I love that the 1812 Overture is at the end, but the other three songs have a more consistent mood by themselves.

You might want to look into Marianelli's Pride & Prejudice soundtrack--"Your Hands Are Cold" is gorgeous.

[leucocrystal]

Hee -- those two are my favourites, along with "Dominoes"!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD.  But really, they're all at least excellent by standard.

Oh, I have the P&P soundtrack, too!  Lovely music, and "Cold Hands" is gorgeous, indeed.  It just amazes me, the difference in tone and sound between the two film scores.  Awesome.

[skyblade]

The funny thing is, I remember way back when you posted on the "Rate Me Community", and some folks were tearing you apart. It seemed like you tried very hard to be a good sport. Typical creative type insecurities aside, I wonder if this comes from the internet culture...the Fametracker mentality, and whatnot, where whatever's popular must therefore not be very good. So, what you might be dealing with is not the tiny sting that you're not universally praised, but rather the fear (not realization, fear) that you're the case of one of those undeserved successes. I'm not suggesting that's true at all, simply trying to diagnose your self-doubts...doubts I might have if I ever achieved an unqualified level of success.

Me? I take criticism pretty well because I'm that self-loathing. It's compliments that make me paranoid.

[cleolinda]

Oh yeah. I mean, who's churlish enough to be mad that not 100% of everyone loves them? It's more me being afraid that the negative ones are right. Which is why I had to go, you know, it doesn't matter if they are, particularly in terms of writing humor. It's one thing if I want to write novels that will someday be part of the literary canon, and being afraid that people like you now but eventually they'll wake up and realize that you're crap. But in terms of making people laugh? You pretty much have to be satisfied with a decent majority.

[skyblade]

who's churlish enough to be mad that not 100% of everyone loves them?

I have no idea...

Yeah fuck having a legacy. I'd just be happy to be at the level of "brags to strangers in a bar."

[cleolinda]

You know, I *do* want a legacy. I never thought I'd be best known (or "known") for parody. I grew up wanting to write great novels, and I still want to write them. But I think there's a point where you have to go, you know what? Writing humor ain't about a great legacy. It's about making people laugh *now.* And really, I don't know that writing regular fiction is much different--all you can count on is that people enjoy it now, because you might be remembered better or worse after you're gone, but you'll be gone, so it's not like you'll know anyway.