So, you know this, but it might help to hear someone say it: you don't need any particular words.
It's a common thing to worry about when friends lose someone important to them; it's like we feel the need to "solve the problem" or something, or that we're uncomfortable being reminded of death. I dunno. I do know that it's rarely that important to the people grieving.
I suspect he'd value enormously you calling, even if all you can say is "I don't know what to say or do but want you to know I'm thinking about you."
I was going to say much the same as dpolicar. You know that you can't ease his loss, but that when you were suffering company was pleasant and helped wih getting on with life.
We both know the drill. Your post is an invitation to say what must be said, and my response is an admission of having been there, done what you're doing, and regretted it.
You are going to pick up the phone. You are going to call your friend. You are going to explain that you have no words, but that you have been thinking about him and that you care and that you're sorry you haven't called and that you don't know why you haven't, but you are now, and you hope that he will forgive you and that you can be part of his support again whenever he needs it.
Or, you will say these things to his answering machine.
Pick up the phone right now, and do it.
We both know you'll feel better, and we both know your friend needs you, even if he doesn't know it right at this moment.
Comments 9
So, you know this, but it might help to hear someone say it: you don't need any particular words.
It's a common thing to worry about when friends lose someone important to them; it's like we feel the need to "solve the problem" or something, or that we're uncomfortable being reminded of death. I dunno. I do know that it's rarely that important to the people grieving.
I suspect he'd value enormously you calling, even if all you can say is "I don't know what to say or do but want you to know I'm thinking about you."
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He'll know you care and are there for him, which is really all you can do to help.
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You are going to pick up the phone. You are going to call your friend. You are going to explain that you have no words, but that you have been thinking about him and that you care and that you're sorry you haven't called and that you don't know why you haven't, but you are now, and you hope that he will forgive you and that you can be part of his support again whenever he needs it.
Or, you will say these things to his answering machine.
Pick up the phone right now, and do it.
We both know you'll feel better, and we both know your friend needs you, even if he doesn't know it right at this moment.
Right now. Phone.
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The Friend In Question, who just benefitted quite a bit from the call being discussed.
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