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[ktcaop]

Yeah, this really kind of relates to my other two posts.

I guess, I'll just post it here. Though, yeah. Sorry for taking up so much energy from everyone, and just being miserable and hard. Pray that God changes me.

Comments

[ktcaop]

My mother indeed is struggling with the bodily situation as you described, she is also working a lot, getting married come the 28th of this month, going through seminary and thus has her own finals, yet she still cleans up around the house

[ktcaop]

If I wasn't around, if I could disappear, if things were right from the beginning and I was never born, if I was never around, then would my mother have any of this stress? Of course the answer is no, she can't have this stress because if I was never born, she couldn't have the stress that she is having surrounding me. She told me at that time as well that there was joy to be had in me as well. I guess that joy has run out as I've been nothing but pain to her, nothing but just a pain ever since I actually lived with her

[alainn_mactire]

I really can't add much to the good advice hare already, but

[rogueblack]

Take this for what it's worth from a mother.

If you're not picking up after yourself and you're doing things that cause more hassle and time for other people (you could've brought you ID whether you needed it or not - that's considered common sense), I can see where she'll lose her mind when she has a lot going on and you continue to be no help. Your entries concerning her fits were very flippant, like a "whatever" attitude. It was only until she pointed out to you that your thoughtlessness and irresponsibility is exhausting her that you seemed to take any notice

[ktcaop]

replying to you via message.

[rogueblack]

Oh okay.

In reply to your apparently screened comment

[rogueblack]

I get that you say you're doing stuff and you're trying to change. But then you revert back to "if I wasn't around my mom would have peace" and that's all self-pitying "look at me" kinda stuff. You're better than that. It's a bit self-defeatist and that's what you've got to look out for

[amergina]

Hey, just so you know, screening comments isn't really allowed in the community. I'm going to let this go, though, since it's really personal stuff, and you only screened your own comments.

But just for future reference...

ANd BTW, I have been praying for you and your mom that you can work through this together.

-Ann, a mod

[ktcaop]

If you want I can unscreen them, they were screened because there was actually emotion in those posts, that I thought would have been better to have been sent via message. But yeah, I'll try to keep that in mind. It was one of those things that I couldn't edit to say that I was going to send it via message (How do you edit comments by the way), or anything like that.

And thank you very much for your prayers, at this point, the only thing I know how to do is to just try to give her space and stay out of the house as much as possible (it won't get messy, it won't be noisy?) until I can talk with my counselor, my pastor, and my mentors.