CHINGUX 2014: stop being a bitch ass bitch (1/1) for modelpress
Title: Stop Being a Bitch Ass Bitch
Author: baeklights
Recipient: modelpress
Pairing/Focus: OT4 (Baekhyun/Chen)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: N/A
Length: 9,896
Summary: How to make friends in prison.
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
Hi. I’m Chanyeol. I’m new. [PAUSE]
Uh. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say. My counsellor said I can say anything, that you guys are just interested in life in a low-security prison from our point of view. Am I supposed to tell you what I did to get myself in here? Hey, low-security means there aren’t any murderers here, right? Because there’s this one guy here…he looks like he might have- he’s tiny, but I don’t know. I feel uncomfortable around him. But it’s my first day so I’m uncomfortable in general, I guess. [PAUSE]
How long am I supposed to be here for?
Oh. So I can leave? Okay. So um. Bye.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 3:08 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
The new guy is cute, right? In a weird Bambi kind of way. He’s all skittish. Baekhyun’s in charge of showing him around. I think he’s scared of us. Probably because we’re too loud. Every time we laugh, he jumps, which is kind of funny because we’re pretty small compared to him.
I think it’s his first time in prison. It’s not so bad, right? [LAUGHS] Right, you guys wouldn’t know. How come you guys decided to do your documentary on inmates in a low-security prison? You can’t get really be getting any interesting stories out of any of us. I’m in here because I stole stuff.
How did I get caught? Ah, that’s…embarrassing. Maybe I’ll tell you when I have nothing to say.
What? [LAUGHS] No, I guess I never run out of things to say. But you guys have never cut me off. Baekhyun says you cut him off the last time. It doesn’t surprise me that he can talk for fifteen minutes straight. At least you guys get to tell him to leave. What does he even talk about? Can you guys actually use anything he tells you? Last night he talked to me about how he’s going to make his own eyeliner. I’m pretty sure that’s contraband. I don’t know if that matters. The guards don’t really seem to care too much. Unless they’re taking shots, but that Junmyeon guy is usually around and Baekhyun just bats his eyes at him so he never does anything. I’m pretty sure he likes Baek. Isn’t that inappropriate? He shouldn’t be making eyes at an inmate.
What? Baek? I meant Baekhyun. [PAUSE] Can I leave?
What? I’m not blushing. I’m leaving, okay?
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:28 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. This is the first time Inmate no. 21099219 leaves before his allotted time is done.
2. Must pay closer attention to Inmate no. 21099219’s reactions when talking about Inmate no. 29190506.
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:31 P.M.]
Where’s Jongdae? I usually run into him leaving when I come in.
He left early? Really? I can never get him to shut him up. How’d you guys do that? [PAUSE] Nothing, huh? You know, you guys aren’t very talkative. Whatever. Did Jongdae tell you about the new guy? Chanyeol. I think Jongdae thinks he’s cute. He’s not that cute. Or at all really. We don’t know what he’s in here for. Do you?
Really? You don’t know anything about any of us? So I could tell you I’m in here for killing a guy and you’d believe me?
Oh, right. Minimum security. Why are you even here? We’re all here for pretty lame reasons. Do you know why Kyungsoo is in here? No, wait, you probably don’t. I doubt he says anything substantial when he’s in here. He says he just reads you the menu for the day and then glares at you until you’re uncomfortable and you let him leave. I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to do that so I know he’s lying, but he probably would if he could.
Anyway what was I saying?
Oh, yeah, the new kid. Who is not cute. Jongdae has poor taste. You know he thinks that one guard, Junmyeon, is cute? Do you know who that is? I’ve never seen Junmyeon around here, he’s usually around the cafeteria. But seriously, he’s not cute either. I mean, I guess he’s okay looking. But Chanyeol really isn’t. He’s got weird hair. Like ramen.
Hey, does the new kid talk a lot? He said he was assigned to do this documentary too. It’s cool for you, right? Find out what it’s like for a newbie. He doesn’t seem to have a lot to say to us. But Jongdae and I talk a lot. Which you know.
What? [LAUGHS] You think we’re bad one-on-one, you should see us together. Kyungsoo asks who does the listening if both of us are always talking. [LAUGHS] It’s weird that I only met Jongdae in prison, right? Who meets their best friend in prison? I mean, Kyungsoo is cool too. Don’t tell him I said that. He gets mad whenever we say he’s our friend. We- what? It’s been fifteen minutes already? Seriously? But I just wanted-
Fine, fine. See you next week.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:49 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:50 P.M.]
You know, if you insist on wasting my time by making me come in here and talking, you should at least make it a point to see me on time. I can’t be away from the kitchen unless it’s important. This is not important. Do you know who I had to leave in charge? Fucking Jongin. [PAUSE] You look affronted. Am I not supposed to swear?
Damn straight I can say whatever I want.
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Tonight’s dinner: Chicken Alfredo, salad, potatoes, rice or bread. And dessert is pudding.
[STOPS TALKING AND STARES AT CAMERA]
[Inmate no. 12399102 is dismissed at 4:16 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Since Inmate no. 12399102 is unwilling to actively participate, perhaps preparing questions for his recordings will be helpful.
“Soo, baby!” Baekhyun and Jongdae hijack him as soon as he leaves the room where they film the interviews for the documentary.
“What’d you talk about this time?” Jongdae asks, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
“I told you, I just read out the menu.” Kyungsoo grunts and punches Baekhyun in the chest when he attempts to put an arm around his waist.
“You let Jongdae touch you,” Baekhyun complains, rubbing his chest.
“I have favourites.” Kyungsoo glares at Jongdae when he leans in too close. “Don’t think I won’t punch you right in your pretty little face.” He shrugs Jongdae’s arm off his shoulders, but Jongdae easily slides his arm around Baekhyun instead.
“Hear that?” Jongdae says smugly. “Kyungsoo thinks I’m pretty.”
“Kyungsoo’s lame though,” Baekhyun says, although he shifts closer. “The only thing I trust his judgement on is food.”
“You’re only saying that to stop me from spitting in the coffee I make the two of you in the mornings.”
Jongdae freezes, bringing him and Baekhyun to a halt. “Mine too?”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “Depends on whether or not you’ve annoyed me the night before.” He looks around curiously. “Where’s the newbie? The one with the ears? I thought you were in charge of him.”
“Probably in his room,” Jongdae says. “He’s scared of you.”
“Says it looks like you have murder in your eyes,” Baekhyun adds.
“Really?” Kyungsoo seems pleased that the new guy is already scared of him.
Jongdae snorts. “If they only knew what you were really in for.”
Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. “That’s your second strike for today. One more and you’re both getting spit in your coffee tomorrow.”
“Second?” Jongdae whines.
“What did I do?” Baekhyun says simultaneously.
“Tweedle Dee makes a mistake, Tweedle Dum gets a strike too,” Kyungsoo replies. “I have to go make sure Jongin hasn’t burnt down my kitchen.”
“I’m not Tweedle Dum,” Jongdae says, shoving Baekhyun away from him.
“You’re the one who got us the second strike,” Baekhyun says bitterly. “Come on, let’s go find Ramen Hair and tell him Kyungsoo was looking for him just to see how wide his eyes get.”
“What kind of sorry-ass ramen do you eat? His fair is just frizzy.”
“He looks like he stuck his finger in an electric socket.”
“It’s cute,” Jongdae insists.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he puts an arm around Jongdae’s waist and squeezes it. “It’s cute that you think it’s cute,” he concedes.
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 12:01 P.M.]
Hi, it’s me Chanyeol.
Oh yeah, you guys knew that. Um. Prison is okay. You know, for prison. I usually tag along with Baekhyun and Jongdae most of the time. They’re funny. They say I’m quiet, which isn’t really true. They just don’t let anyone else get a word in. I hang out with Jongdae if he and Baekhyun aren’t together. Which is hardly ever. They haven’t been together lately though, Jongdae’s not as loud without him. Everyone’s pretty nice here actually. Except the guy who runs the kitchen.
[PAUSE]
[VOICE DROPS TO WHISPER] I did a bad thing.
I insulted his cooking. I didn’t know he did the cooking! He was talking to Jongdae, and I just mentioned it to Baekhyun. And I wasn’t harsh or anything. I just said…okay, I may have used the word atrocious. Now he won’t feed me. [PAUSE] Do you have any food?
Oh, right, you probably aren’t allowed to bring anything in here unless it’s checked out or whatever. [SIGHS]
[Inmate no. 72119129 is dismissed at 12:09 P.M. after Interviewer A gets depressed by his pitiful face]
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 12:17 P.M.]
Sorry I’m late. I snuck Chanyeol some crackers while he was leaving and made sure he got to eat them before one of Kyungsoo’s spies saw. They’re not really spies. They’re all just afraid of Kyungsoo. I don’t know why. They wouldn’t be scared if they knew what he did to get himself in here. Chanyeol shouldn’t have said what he did though. Kyungsoo is sensitive. [PAUSE] Or whatever the Kyungsoo version of sensitive would be. But Chanyeol is new, he’s still getting used to everything.
So anyway. Sehun, do you know him? Pasty kid who looks mad all the time? Sehun and Tao, you know him, right? Tall kid, panda eyes? They’re having some kind of competition. I’m not really sure what it’s about. Probably who can gather the most prison bitches or something. Sehun tried to recruit me. Actually his exact words were, “Let’s date.” [LAUGHS] Is that prison lingo for ‘let’s fuck’? I tried to ask Baek, but he’s all…pissed off about something and isn’t really talking to me right now. I don’t know. [PAUSE]
I mean, it’s not like I said yes. I don’t want to be Sehun’s prison bitch. [PAUSE] Or anyone’s prison bitch. Obviously.
I should go. I told Minseok I’d help him out in the library. Oh, uh, don’t tell Kyungsoo I gave Chanyeol food. [MUMBLES]
I said you can tell Byun Baekhyun he knows where to find me when he pulls that stick out of his ass.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 12:27 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 12:34 P.M.]
Hey. I know I’m late, sorry. I was trying to avoid Jongdae. Uh, we’re not on good terms right now. It’s mostly my fault. Or all my fault actually.
He said to tell me what? [LAUGHS] Yeah, I will. Apologize, I mean. [PAUSE]
It’s just…why are so many people hanging around him all the time lately? That stupid ramen-haired kid, Chanyeol, follows him around like a tail, even though I offered to help him pick out a class to take because he might as well learn something. He’s here for a year. But he just sticks to Jongdae! And then that punk Sehun asks Jongdae out. Right in front of me! Like he doesn’t know I- [PAUSE]
Whatever. Jongdae can do what he wants. He can hang out with Ramen Hair and date Sehun, who has the brains of a toaster. Are we done?
Five more minutes? [PAUSE]
Can I leave anyway?
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 12:44 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Must try to figure out what is happening with Inmate no. 29190506 and Inmate no. 21099219.
[Inmate no. 12399102 storms in enters at 4:45 P.M.]
Did you hear? DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT NEWBIE SAID ABOUT MY COOKING?
Yes? What did he say he say?
He may have called it atrocious? HE SAID IT WAS ATROCIOUS MUSH THAT EVEN VERMIN SHOULDN’T BE SUBJECT TO. WHERE DOES YODA THINK HE IS? A FUCKING FIVE-STAR HOTEL? What is he expecting? STEAK? POMMES FUCKING FRITES? DOES HE THINK I LIKE SERVING THIS? I TRY TO MAKE IT EDIBLE. Do you know when we receive cans of beans and meat sometimes it says it’s not fit for human consumption? DOES HE THINK I MAKE THE FOOD SHITTY ON PURPOSE? I HAVE TO EAT THIS TOO.
What? Yes, I’m starving him. He doesn’t like my food, he can stay hungry. Unless he can get something from commissary, but Luhan says his money hasn’t come in yet. [GLARES] Did you give him food?
Good. Ungrateful bitches need to learn. PRISON ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.
[STANDS AND KICKS CHAIR OVER. DOES NOT APOLOGIZE]
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 4:51 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Most substantial interview Inmate no. 12399102 has given.
2. Make sure not to schedule Inmate no. 72119129 and Inmate no. 12399102’s interviews back-to-back to avoid run ins.
3. Figure out how to handle next week’s group interview since Group C inmates are all at odds with each other.
Baekhyun finds Chanyeol in his dorm room, face down on his bed. It’s a little sad. The bed’s too small for Chanyeol because his feet are sticking out. Baekhyun wonders if he curls up to sleep because it can get cold at night.
“Hey.”
Chanyeol lifts his head up from the pillow and he looks surprised to see Baekhyun. “Hey,” he says, scrambling to sit up. “What’s up?”
“I know how you can get feeding privileges back.”
Chanyeol gapes at him. “Getting fed is a privilege?”
“Yeah, when Kyungsoo is the one in charge of the kitchen,” Baekhyun says shrugging.
Chanyeol pulls his knees up to his chest and Baekhyun can’t be sure, but he thinks he’s pouting a bit. Jongdae was right. He was sort of cute. In a tall, awkward way. Baekhyun has no interest in tall, awkward boys though.
“How can I get Kyungsoo to feed me again?”
Baekhyun thinks about how much trouble he’s going to be in for this. Chanyeol is so lucky Jongdae likes him, because this means by extension, Baekhyun is also required to care. At least a little.
“I’m going to tell you why Kyungsoo is in here.”
Kyungsoo is leaving his kitchen when he finds Chanyeol pacing in the cafeteria. He narrows his eyes. He has a lot of energy for someone who hasn’t eaten for three days. Jongdae probably fed him something. He scoffs. Typical.
“I can’t actually ban you from the cafeteria but it’s in your best interest to stay away from me,” he says, getting Chanyeol’s attention.
Chanyeol freezes and he turns to Kyungsoo, eyes wide. “I’m really sorry,” he blurts out, playing with his hands. “I shouldn’t have said that about your food.”
“No,” Kyungsoo agrees. He doesn’t blink and he knows Chanyeol is starting to freak out by the way he’s just staring at him.
“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol says again. “Please feed me.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “No,” he repeats, moving past him and purposely bumping him on the shoulder.
“Wait.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t even break his stride, although he rolls his eyes anyway. Newbies didn’t know anything.
Then Chanyeol says something and Kyungsoo stops in his tracks.
No, Kyungsoo thinks. Chanyeol couldn’t have possibly have said what he thinks he said. “What?”
“I said…” Chanyeol takes a deep breath, but he still looks like he’s going to be sick. “I said, I know why you’re in here.”
Kyungsoo glares at him, but Chanyeol looks terrified so he drops the glare. And smiles. Chanyeol somehow seems even more scared now. “Who told you? Baekhyun or Jongdae?”
“Neither of them,” Chanyeol answers quickly. Too quickly.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes yet again. At least Chanyeol knows not to tattle on anyone. It’s pointless though because Baekhyun and Jongdae are the only ones who know why he’s in prison. “That’s fine,” he says mildly. He doesn’t need Chanyeol to tell him which one of them told him. He’ll figure it out.
Jongdae is sorting through a bunch of textbooks in the library when he feels a shadow fall over him.
“I fixed Chanyeol’s food problem.”
Baekhyun looks very pleased with himself when Jongdae looks up. “Yeah? And have you fixed you’re ‘I’m an asshole for no reason’ problem too?”
Baekhyun pouts before he drops down on the floor next to Jongdae. “Come on. I’m going to be in so much trouble for helping him,” he says.
“What? Did you feed him?”
“No,” Baekhyun scoffs. “I fixed his problem permanently. I told him how to get Kyungsoo to forgive him.”
Jongdae wrinkles his nose. “Kyungsoo doesn’t forgive. He’s Kyungsoo.”
“True,” Baekhyun says. “Well, I told him how to get Kyungsoo to redirect his anger.”
There’s a slight ruckus by the library door and they hear Minseok loudly complaining.
“Here we go,” Baekhyun breathes out.
Jongdae turns to him. “What did you do?”
“Which one of you was it?” Kyungsoo appears and kicks over the neat pile of textbooks that Jongdae had stacked. The two of them yelp when the books fall down heavily on their hands.
“These are heavy, you bitch,” Jongdae whines. “What’s your problem?”
Kyungsoo crosses his arms and towers over them. “Which one of you told Yoda why I’m in here?”
Jongdae’s jaw drops and that’s obviously a dead giveaway.
Kyungsoo smiles sweetly as he turns his focus on Baekhyun. “Byun Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun gives him a sheepish smile and Jongdae grabs his hand underneath the pile of books.
[Group C inmates enter at 12:01 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 sits beside Inmate no. 12399102. Inmate no. 29190506 sits beside Inmate no. 12399102. Inmate no. 21099219 then makes them all move a seat down and sits down beside Inmate no. 72119129.]
[As with previous group interviews, Inmates will be referred to by their initials]
BBH: Kyungsoo and Chanyeol made up.
PCY: [SMILES] I had oatmeal for breakfast.
KJD: Baekhyun’s on Kyungsoo’s blacklist now though.
BBH: It’s cool. I’m almost always on Kyungsoo’s blacklist.
DKS: [NODS]
PCY: I got a job working in laundry. Kyungsoo pulled some strings.
DKS: Seemed better than letting him wander around running his mouth off. He’s lucky he just pissed me off. He could get in real trouble for pissing off the wrong person.
KJD: Yes, so lucky that he only pissed you off. He was only starved.
DKS: Yixing runs the laundry services, and he’s pretty cool. So even if Chanyeol says the wrong thing, he probably won’t annoy him.
BBH: The interviewers look shocked. Is this the most you’ve said during an interview?
KJD: [LAUGHS] He yelled in the last interview? Baek, we should put that in the Feelings Jar.
PCY: What’s the Feelings Jar?
BBH: Every time Kyungsoo emotes we put it in the Feelings Jar. I mean, we know he’s mad all the time, but yelling goes down as anger, because he doesn’t really yell. Just sort of glares and mumbles death threats.
PCY: He smiled the other day. You can put that down.
DKS: Hey! Newbie!
BBH: He smiled? When?
KJD: Why?
PCY: He’s been trying to teach Jongin how to make this soup and he finally got it right yesterday, so he earned himself a Kyungsoo smile.
KJD: He smiled and was proud of someone! Baekhyun, are you getting all of this? Three more things for the Feelings Jar. Chanyeol, you need to tell us these things.
PCY: I wasn’t aware you collected Kyungsoo’s feelings in a jar.
BBH: Now you do. We’ll show where it is so you can add stuff to it yourself.
DKS: Newbie, you’re talking too much.
BBH: Kyungsoo has taken Chanyeol under his wing, so he’s a lot more talkative now.
DKS: Someone has to take care of him. He was so pitiful when he was trying to blackmail me into forgiveness. He was more pathetic than Jongdae was when he first got here.
KJD: Hey! I was still…in shock.
BBH: [PATS KJD ON SHOULDER] Do you guys know why Jongdae is in prison?
KJD: Don’t. It’s embarrassing.
PCY: Can’t be more embarrassing than why Kyungsoo is in here.
DKS: You assholes told him why I’m in here but he doesn’t know why you’re in here?
KJD: Baekhyun told him why you’re in here.
PCY: Baekhyun didn’t tell me why he was in here either.
BBH: Prostitution.
KJD: Don’t try to make yourself sound cool. Tell him the truth.
BBH: I was arrested for prostitution.
DKS: But tell Newbie how you got caught.
[SILENCE]
KJD: Oh, our time’s up?
BBH: Great! Let’s go! See you guys next week!
PCY: Bye!
[Group C inmates leave at 12:32 P.M.]
“Wait.” Chanyeol runs after Baekhyun as he tries to flee from them, but Chanyeol’s legs are longer and there’s nowhere for Baekhyun to run. “Hold on!” Chanyeol grabs his arm. “You don’t have to tell me how you got caught. Just chill.”
“You may as well tell him,” Kyungsoo says, shuffling the three of them towards the cafeteria. “He’s the only one of us who doesn’t know.”
“Wait.” Chanyeol blinks. “I’m one of you guys now?”
“Of course,” Jongdae says. “You already passed initiation. You survived Kyungsoo’s wrath. Uhh, sort of. His wrath’s ongoing so you know.”
“I don’t know why you look so pleased,” Kyungsoo says. “Being lumped in with the two of them is hardly an achievement.”
“Baek, just tell Chanyeol why you’re in here,” Jongdae says, plopping down on a seat when they reach the cafeteria. “Kyungsoo has that tone of his. You know, the lecture one. Save us.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and leaves them to head into the kitchen.
“I really was arrested for prostitution,” Baekhyun says, hopping up on the table, resting his elbows on his knees. “And one night, this one guy refused to pay me because he wanted me to lick his toes and I’m not into that shit. But I did everything else! Dicks went up asses, he came down my throat, I provided a service, I should have been paid!”
Jongdae nods as he rubs consoling circles on Baekhyun’s knee.
Chanyeol is listening like he’s never heard anything so fascinating before. “So did you like…cut off his penis?”
Jongdae chokes and Baekhyun looks sad.
“I should have,” he says morosely. “But I called the cops.”
Chanyeol blinks. “You called the cops? Because the guy didn’t pay for sex? Illegal sex?”
“And then he tried to proposition them when they started to arrest him,” Kyungsoo says, appearing with cups of weak coffee.
“That one cop was totally eyeing my ass,” Baekhyun insists.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, patting Baekhyun’s thigh. He snatches his hand back when he sees Jongdae narrow his eyes at the touch.
“Yeah,” Jongdae says, squeezing Baekhyun’s wrist. “I got caught because I got electrocuted stealing a television set.”
Chanyeol spits out a mouthful of coffee. “What?”
“You’re disgusting,” Kyungsoo says, disdainfully.
Jongdae groans and buries his face in Baekhyun’s knees. “I was stealing a T.V. And I got electrocuted on my way out.”
Baekhyun pets his hair. “He woke up in the hospital. Zip-tied to the bed.”
“Zip-tied?”
“They couldn’t really handcuff him,” Kyungsoo says, sitting down across them. “With the electrocution and all.”
“It’s not so bad,” Baekhyun tells Jongdae, his hand moving to the back of Jongdae’s neck. “Every time you feel embarrassed, just remember that Kyungsoo is in prison for trying to steal the condom machine out of a public bathroom.”
Chanyeol snickers. “Whose dick were you so thirsty for?”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo snaps, glaring at him. “I just…I don’t want to talk about it.”
“What are you in here for, Chanyeol?” Jongdae asks, turning his face towards them, still resting the side of his face against Baekhyun’s knees.
“Uhh,” Chanyeol stares at his hands. “Arson.”
They all freeze.
“Are you serious?” Kyungsoo finally says. “Yoda is the most bad ass one out of all of us?”
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 10:00 A.M.]
Hi!
Chipper? Me? I guess I am. At least compared to when I first got here, right? [LAUGHS] It’s been…three months? No, wait, it’s almost four months. Wow. I’ve been in prison for four months. Weird.
What’s it been like? Okay actually. I think it helps that I have Baekhyun and Jongdae. And Kyungsoo. Although…[PAUSE] I mean, it’s cool that he’s nice to me and all now. Or like, as nice as Kyungsoo can be but it’s still kind of scary? He’s always around, and honestly, the doting is weirder than when he disliked me. He keeps popping up. Even my own parents didn’t check up on me so much. When I told him this, he said that maybe if they did, I wouldn’t have been busy setting fires to abandoned buildings. I think he just likes ruining all my prison fun.
Hmm? Laundry duty’s okay. It’s kind of awkward. Sometimes we get sheets with stains on them. You know? Stains. Yixing’s pretty cool too. Sometimes he helps Kyungsoo out in the kitchen. He’s a pretty good cook. Err, Kyungsoo is good too. His food really isn’t all that bad. I think I was just too fussy when I first got here. His mac and cheese is really good. He-
Oh? I went over my time? Oh, okay. Sorry. See you guys next week.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 10:17 A.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 10:20 A.M.]
Newbie talks a lot. He’s just like Dumb and Dumber. They’re sick by the way. Baekhyun and Jongdae. It’s not surprising that they’re both sick. They do everything together, so I guess sharing germs is the prison version of a friendship bracelet or whatever. They’re disgusting.
What? Yeah. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been talking a lot since Chanyeol got here. He’s infuriating, I can’t internalize my anger anymore. Baekhyun and Jongdae keep cackling every time I lose my temper, and then all I hear is, “Put it in the Feelings Jar.” Assholes. I’m glad they’re sick. You think they talk a lot? You should see them when they’re sick. Most people are quiet and pitiful. These two…[SNEERS] All that whining. [PAUSE] How much time do I have left? Nine minutes?
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Today’s lunch menu: soup, chicken and mushroom pie, salad and dessert is canned pineapples. [FOLDS PAPER]
[PAUSE]
I was going to make chili for lunch. But the whining twins can only hold down soup, so I made soup instead. Don’t tell them I said that. They’ll just put it down in their Feelings Jar. Can I leave?
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 10:32 A.M.]
“You know,” Chanyeol says, following Kyungsoo around the kitchen. “Prison’s not so bad.”
Jongin looks up from the cans he’s opening. “Why is he here?” he asks Kyungsoo. “Won’t we get in trouble for letting him in here?”
“He’ll get in trouble for being out of bounds,” Kyungsoo says, ducking under one of Chanyeol’s long arms to reach for the salt. “We’re allowed in here. If he wants to get a shot that’s his problem.”
“That Junmyeon guard seems nice,” Chanyeol says thoughtfully. “I don’t think he’d give me a shot for being in here. Baekhyun and Jongdae are always in here.”
“Because Junmyeon is too busy watching Jongdae longingly to give him shots,” Jongin says, snickering.
“Oh. That’s true,” Chanyeol agrees. “But I’ve been in here for ten minutes and he hasn’t said anything. Anyway. As I was saying, prison isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s not the obvious path someone would choose to take in life but-”
“It’s not any path anyone would choose to take in life,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “Pass me that ladle over there. It’s not like someone just woke up and decided, ‘I think I’m going to grab some coffee and then find a way to get myself thrown in jail.’”
“Unless you’re that guy from Prison Break,” Chanyeol says, obediently handing Kyungsoo the ladle.
Jongin is giving him an incredulous look. “Is he serious? Is he broken?”
Kyungsoo smirks. “Maybe a little.”
“No, I mean it,” Chanyeol says. “It’s pretty okay. The people aren’t bad…even you.” He refuses to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes and hurriedly goes on, “I get fed, I have friends. Maybe I’ll find my purpose here.”
“In prison?” Jongin rolls his eyes.
“Because see, setting things on fire is totally not a cool way to live your life.”
“You needed to get your skinny ass thrown in prison to figure out that setting things on fire isn’t the right way to live?” Kyungsoo squints at the soup. This looks edible. It’s not like he can make the sick twins something fancy like winter squash soup, they’re in prison. Not that he would waste his efforts on them, even if he could.
“I can learn a trade here, right?” Chanyeol continues as if he hasn’t heard Kyungsoo at all. “I’ll learn a trade and then I’ll have a brand new life when I get out of here. No more fires. Park Chanyeol, new and improved! Accepted world-wide!”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he fills two cups with soup. “You’re underestimating how much the world cares about reformed prisoners,” he says. “You’re one Cheerio in the bulk box of life.”
Chanyeol pauses like he’s considering this. “Can I be Honey Nut?”
Jongin laughs out loud at that. “Oh my god, he’s serious.” He grins at Kyungsoo. “Can we keep him?”
Kyungsoo smirks. “No,” he says. “I’m sure if you examine him carefully you’ll find ‘Property of Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongdae’ written somewhere.”
“Pretty sure you have that written somewhere on you,” Jongin says, strategically shifting further away.
Kyungsoo ignores this. Jongin is kind of insufferable but it would be too much trouble to train someone else to be his right-hand man in the kitchen. Plus, Jongin doesn’t flinch as much or go running for cover when Kyungsoo gets angry about something. It’s helpful.
“Maybe I can work with you,” Chanyeol says.
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “I’m going to let the arsonist near a stove.”
“I’m a fairly decent cook,” Chanyeol insists. “I mean, I can make packaged ramen noodles all by myself. And I only lost two pans…okay, almost three, but mostly just two.”
“No,” Kyungsoo says.
“And I’m tall. I could help you reach for the things that are on the higher shelves that you struggle with because you’re so…” Chanyeol realizes he’s in dangerous territory and he trails off.
Kyungsoo is glaring at him. “Go on, newbie,” he says sweetly. “Because I’m so what?”
Chanyeol glances at Jongin, who has taken a sudden interest in the trays they serve the food on. “Uhhh…” Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo helplessly. “Please don’t starve me again.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Come here.” He scoffs when Chanyeol hesitates. “Just get over here. You think you’re the first person to call me short? I need you to take this soup to your owners.”
Chanyeol gives him a puzzled look. “We’re not allowed to take food out of the cafeteria.”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo says patronizingly. “That’s why I need you to smuggle it out of here.”
Chanyeol sniffs indignantly. “That’s why you let me in here. You just needed a soup mule.”
“Pretty much,” Kyungsoo says, before he adds, “And you were wandering around like a puppy trying to find its tail.”
“It’s weird without them,” Chanyeol complains. “And they don’t want me around. They just want to whine at each other and- snuggle.” His eyes brighten. “Hey, are they…” He trails off and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo.
“Yes,” Kyungsoo says.
Chanyeol looks surprised. “Really?”
“Yes. They just don’t know it yet.” Kyungsoo shoves the cups at him. “Make sure they eat. They’re going to fuss and complain about how they’re not hungry, but tell them that you don’t get to eat if they don’t.”
“I don’t like being sick.” Jongdae sounds despondent as he tries to burrow himself further into Baekhyun’s chest. “I was promised first-rate snuggling. I’m still cold. This isn’t good enough.”
His hair is tickling Baekhyun’s nose and his arm is starting to fall asleep under Jongdae’s head, but he ignores it. “No one likes being sick,” Baekhyun says, tightening his arm around Jongdae’s waist. “Can I continue reading? We promised we wouldn’t whine at each other, that’s what Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are there for. We’re both sick and miserable.”
Jongdae sniffles pitifully but he doesn’t say anything except to mumble a sorry against Baekhyun’s arm.
Baekhyun props the book up again, amazed that his fingers haven’t fallen off from the lack of blood flowing into them. “Buttercup at this time was nowhere near that high, being barely in the top twenty, and that primarily on potential, certainly not on any particular care she took of herself.” He pauses and waits for Jongdae to turn the page for him. “She hated to wash her face, she loathed the area behind her ears, she was sick of combing her hair and did so as little as possible. What she liked to do, preferred above all else really, was to ride her horse and taunt the farm boy.”
Jongdae glances at his watch. “Wait, your time’s up,” he says, pulling away from Baekhyun.
Baekhyun can feel how relieved his arm is when Jongdae rolls off it. He flexes his fingers out, and smiles smugly when Jongdae shifts up to rest his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head before he slides his arm around his shoulders.
“Pass me the book.” Jongdae holds out a hand expectantly.
Baekhyun hands it over before he reaches behind him to grab Jongdae’s free arm. “Cuddle me, bitch.”
“I was getting to it,” Jongdae grumbles, as he starts to settle down beside him. When he’s satisfied with the way he’s curled around Baekhyun, he holds up the book. “Aren’t you glad no one wants to be around us when we’re sick? They all avoid us and we get to do whatever we want until it’s time for the guards to do their rounds.”
“You want to be around me,” Baekhyun says.
“Because you’re still the funnest person here even when you’re sick.”
They hear a yelp, but Baekhyun doesn’t let Jongdae move to try to figure out what it is. He already knows that yelp. “It’s just Chanyeol.”
Chanyeol appears, his arms trapped under his sweater. He smiles bright when he sees the two of them are awake. “You’re up,” he says cheerfully. He gestures at the sweater, and Baekhyun gives him a suspicious look, before he pulls it away. “Soup!”
Jongdae groans as he shifts to bury his face in Baekhyun’s hair. “No soup,” he says. “No food.”
“We’re not hungry,” Baekhyun says. “But thanks.”
Chanyeol seems amused. “You’re nicer when you’re sick,” he says, snorting when Jongdae whines into Baekhyun’s hair. “He’s not.”
“Well, he’s nicer in general,” Baekhyun says, patting the arm Jongdae has around his waist. “I let him whine when he’s sick because he’s allowed to be the bitchier one once in awhile.” He glares at Chanyeol when he holds on the cups. “Seriously, we’re not hungry.”
Chanyeol pouts “You guys aren’t making me go back to kitchen without having some of this,” he insists.
“No,” Jongdae says, shifting down to press his face to the back of Baekhyun’s neck.
“Do I have to feed the two of you?”
Baekhyun and Jongdae both freeze before they look up at him hopefully.
Chanyeol looks at them in dismay. “I was just kidding!”
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
I’m back! Did you guys miss me?
What did we have? We had the flu. I think I gave it to Baekhyun because I got sick first. It was fine though. We got to laze around and do nothing. Mama Soo took care of us. [PAUSE] Err, don’t tell him I said that. I missed the library a little because I didn’t have to work. But Baekhyun and I read The Princess Bride while we were sick. You know it?
[LAUGHS] Yeah, Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die. It was a good book.
Christmas plans? Uh, well, I’ll be in here. [LAUGHS] It’s my…third Christmas here. But that’s only because I got here around Christmas time. I guess we’ll just have our annual Christmas party. I like Christmas. Even Kyungsoo is happier around Christmas time. Probably because some guy always visits him around this time. I wonder if that’s the guy who he stole the- [PAUSE] Uh, never mind.
Me? My mom and brother are coming to visit me. They always visit though. I’m lucky. Our time’s almost up, right? You guys are only coming back in after New Year’s? Okay. Merry Christmas! See you next year.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:14 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
I like coming in after Jongdae. He’s punctual. You should switch the schedules so I always come in after him. I don’t have to wait around until you tell Baekhyun to shut up and kick him out.
What? No, newbie’s coming, there was some incident with the laundry so he stayed back to help Yixing with it.
I don’t have any Christmas plans. I’m in prison. What kind of plans do you think we get to have in here?
Oh. The Christmas party. Yeah, that. It’s a Christmas party in prison. How do you think that goes? The volunteer groups start coming in around this time. Try to make themselves feel better about their lives and all the shitty things they’ve done all year around by giving up an hour of their time. [SHRUGS] I don’t really care, they bring all this food with them. Homemade fudge, fresh fruit, real ingredients. It helps us make a decent Christmas dinner.
Yeah. I’m getting a visit.
No, you may not ask who.
My time’s up soon so I’m just going to leave. [PAUSE] Um. Merry Christmas or…you know, whatever.
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 3:28 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Inmate no. 12399102 has been more pleasant conversational lately. (Possibly since Inmate no. 72119129 has started.)
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:30 P.M.]
Hey.
Yeah, I’m feeling better.
I’m still pale? I only started moving around today, so I’m still a little under the weather, but my temperature’s back to normal.
Plans for Christmas? Just hang around at the Christmas party with Jongdae. And Chanyeol this year. Kyungsoo will be around too. Glaring about something or the other. I’m kidding. Kyungsoo’s in a pretty good mood this time of the year. Probably because of that pretty boy who visits him every year.
Me? My brother might visit. He doesn’t live close by and he has his own family so he can’t always make it. He couldn’t make it last year, but he said he’d try this year.
My parents? No, they won’t visit. I haven’t talked them since I was 17.
It’s okay. They didn’t like me for who I was and I don’t need people like that in my life. I have my brother. He’s great. And I have Jongdae and Kyungsoo. And Chanyeol! He was really nice while Jongdae and I were sick. Kyungsoo too, but I think Kyungsoo used up his nice quota for the year.
What are you guys doing for Christmas?
Oh. That’s nice!
You have a kid? What did you get her for Christmas?
[LAUGHS] I’m sure she’ll like it.
I think my time’s up. I won’t keep you. I hope you have a good Christmas with your families.
Thanks.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:48 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 3:50 P.M.]
Hey! Hi! Sorry you guys had to rearrange your the schedule for me. I was helping Yixing out. Does it matter who comes in first?
Okay, good.
Hmm? Oh, no, nothing bad. Just a minor incident in the laundry room. It’s fixed now. Everything’s good.
Christmas plans? Umm, no. Jongdae said there’s a Christmas party, so I’ll just be at that.
No. No one’s coming to visit me. They’re not…they’re not very proud to have me as a son. My dad won’t let me talk to my sister either. The chaplain gives us cards to send home, so I took one. But it got sent back to me. I mean, I put their names on my visitors list but I haven’t heard from any of them since I got arrested.
It’s fine. I’m okay. Jongdae and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo…that’s almost as good as having family. Better even maybe. My dad mostly used Christmas to ask me what I was going to do with my life or was I just going to be useless for the rest of my life. Jongdae and them…they don’t make me feel small. [SMILES] You know, as small as you can make someone like me feel.
No, don’t apologize for asking about it! You didn’t know. It’s okay.
Can I go? Okay, thanks.
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you guys too.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 3:03 P.M.]
“Where are Chanyeol and your loser half?” Kyungsoo asks, straightening out the tray of cookies. He cringes when Sehun screeches out a high note from the centre of the room where he and Jongin are loudly massacring The Little Drummer Boy.
“They’re coming,” Baekhyun says. He peers over Kyungsoo’s shoulder at the cookies. “Are you capping the number of cookies we get to have this year too?”
Kyungsoo turns to roll his eyes at him. “I didn’t limit the cookies for everyone last year,” he says, poking Baekhyun in the stomach. “Just you.”
“Because cookies are rare,” Baekhyun pouts. “I like cookies. Cookies give me hope. Cookies give my life meaning.”
“Three cookies,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “If there are any left over you can have them.”
“As if there will be any cookies left at the end of this party,” Baekhyun says, although he takes the gingerbread man that Kyungsoo holds out to him. He beams when Chanyeol and Jongdae enter the common room. “Cookies!”
Jongdae brightens and drags Chanyeol over. “Thanks,” he says, plucking the gingerbread cookie out of Baekhyun’s hand.
“Newbie, have a cookie,” Kyungsoo says, nudging at the tray.
“No thanks,” Chanyeol says, plopping down on a chair.
“I’ll have his cookie,” Baekhyun offers.
“I’m sure you would like to, tubby,” Kyungsoo sneers. “Have some cookies, Chanyeol. Baekhyun believes they have healing powers. Maybe they’ll make you smile.”
Jongdae hangs over Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Come on,” he says reaching out with his fingers to lift the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth. “Kyungsoo is asking you to smile. Kyungsoo. Cheer up.”
“Why so gloomy, newbie?” Baekhyun takes a seat next to him, happily munching on a cookie shaped like a Christmas tree.
“He’s not getting a visit tomorrow,” Jongdae says, shifting over to lean down heavily against Baekhyun’s shoulder.
“Family visits suck though,” Kyungsoo says, smacking Jongdae’s hand when he tries to grab Baekhyun’s cookie again. “It’s uncomfortable. They don’t want to be here and you feel guilty about how your bad decisions are forcing your family through an uncomfortable situation.”
Jongdae smirks. “So that’s not your brother who comes to visit you,” he says smugly.
Baekhyun turns his head to give Kyungsoo his own smug smile. “Who is he then?” he asks. “He has a pretty face. Is that whose dick you were so desperate to hop on?”
Jongdae snickers. “What do you guys talk about? ‘Hey baby, I’m sorry you’re in here because I didn’t carry a condom. But I told you I would have gone to the drug store to get some.’”
“Or were you stealing the condoms because he was going to hop on your dick?” Baekhyun’s eyes widen with glee. “Kyungsoo, do you top?”
“Did you think he didn’t?” Jongdae sounds appalled. “There’s no way Kyungsoo puts out for anyone.” He pats Chanyeol on the shoulder. “Don’t be a sad cloud,” he says, pouting. “It’s Christmas Eve.”
“I’m okay,” Chanyeol says, giving him a strained smile.
“Look.” Kyungsoo holds out a cookie. “It’s a snowman! Jongin did the icing for this one. He gave the snowman teeth to look like you.”
Chanyeol thanks him and takes the cookie, and he manages to give them a genuine smile even if it is a small one.
“Baekhyun, come help me bring in more juice,” Kyungsoo says. “We’re running low.”
“Isn’t that what you have kitchen slaves for?” Baekhyun pulls a face but he obediently gets to his feet and follows him.
“Hey.” Jongdae tugs on Chanyeol’s arm. “I’m sorry your family’s not visiting tomorrow. Kyungsoo’s right though. My mom always looks uncomfortable when she visits, and she always ends up crying.”
“It’s not that,” Chanyeol says, tracing the outline of the icing on his cookie. “I got a letter from my sister.”
Jongdae looks at him uncertainly. “That’s nice?”
“Yeah.” Chanyeol frowns at his snowman. “They moved. That’s why my card got sent back. They moved and they didn’t even tell me.”
“Oh.” Jongdae slides his hand on top of Chanyeol’s and gives it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry. Families are just…they can be assholes sometimes.”
Chanyeol laughs at that. “Yeah.”
“Hey!” Baekhyun reappears with an armful of plastic cups that he dumps on the table before he grabs Jongdae’s arm. “Let’s go show these amateurs how it’s done.” He gestures to Luhan and Minseok who are singing- or rather, serenading each other- to the tune of All I Want For Christmas is You.
Kyungsoo arranges the mess Baekhyun has created on the table and then joins Chanyeol, who’s watching Baekhyun bicker with Luhan as he attempts to shoo them away.
“Eat the cookie,” Kyungsoo says, nodding at the cookie Chanyeol is still holding. “Making cookies is the only thing Jongin does better than me.”
Chanyeol lips quirk up slightly. “I didn’t think you understood the concept of someone being better than you.”
“No one cares about cookies,” Kyungsoo mutters, and Chanyeol snorts.
“Everyone cares about cookies,” Chanyeol says, finally biting into his cookie.
Kyungsoo groans when Baekhyun finally manages to shove Luhan away. “They’re so embarrassing,” he says, slinking lower in his seat like he doesn’t want to be associated with them.
“Are they bad?”
“No, they actually sing really well. But they’re embarrassing.” Kyungsoo grimaces when Jongdae starts the opening notes of Santa Baby.
Chanyeol laughs. “This is both the best and worst thing I have ever experienced,” he says when Baekhyun joins in.
“This is only the beginning,” Kyungsoo says. He tries to sink even lower in his seat, and it looks like he’s trying to make himself disappear. Chanyeol can’t figure out why, until halfway through the song, Jongdae yells out for him.
“Kyungsoo, get in here,” Jongdae calls out, waving an arm at him. “Or I’ll start dancing! Save everyone the trauma of that.” He grins when the rest of the inmates just start cheering at that. “Come on, everyone wants you to sing!”
Kyungsoo growls when Baekhyun runs over to grab him and Chanyeol’s laugh is cut off when Baekhyun grabs him with his other hand.
“That’s sad,” Kyungsoo says when Jongdae tells them about Chanyeol’s family.
Baekhyun and Jongdae exchange looks as they help Kyungsoo put the trays away. “Feelings Jar,” Baekhyun whispers.
“It is sad,” Kyungsoo insists. “It’s hard enough being in here, but it sucks when your family doesn’t support you. It shouldn’t matter that you’ve made bad decisions. They’re your family.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Baekhyun says, handing over the last bowl to Kyungsoo. “I don’t talk to my family either and I’m fine.”
“You still have your brother,” Jongdae points out. He puts an arm around Baekhyun from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder. “And you chose to stop talking to your parents. Chanyeol didn’t get to do that. They just cut off all contact with him.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at when Baekhyun pats Jongdae’s hand. “He seems better off.”
“And he has us now,” Baekhyun adds. “We’re his family.”
“It’s not the same,” Jongdae says sighing. “Plus this is his first Christmas in here. He’s allowed to feel sad and lonely.”
“No, he’s allowed to feel sad. He’s not allowed to feel lonely,” Baekhyun says. “Why are we here if we can’t help each other with the loneliness?”
“We should do something for him,” Kyungsoo says. “To take his mind off it.”
“Awwwww.” Baekhyun stretches it out loudly, grinning at him. “Mama Soo to the rescue.”
“Feelings Jar!” Jongdae proclaims.
Kyungsoo stares at them. “What did you just call me?”
“Where are you taking me?”
“We’re trapped in a building,” Jongdae says, steering Chanyeol forward. “Why are you so worried?”
“It’s visiting hours.” Chanyeol is confused but he doesn’t resist as Jongdae hurries him along. “Your mother and brother will be here soon.”
“They’re coming tomorrow.”
Jongdae’s answer comes too quickly, but Chanyeol doesn’t think about it but he’s figured out that they’re heading towards the kitchen and he relaxes. “Why are we heading to the kitchen?” When Jongdae doesn’t say anything, he just sighs and lets himself be pushed forward.
When they get to the kitchen, it’s empty.
“Are we allowed to be in here when Kyungsoo isn’t around?” Chanyeol asks. “Because I-”
“Merry Christmas!” Baekhyun pops up from behind one of the steel tables and throws a handful of tiny pieces of paper in the air.
Chanyeol watches as they slowly fall around him. “What is that?”
“Homemade confetti,” Baekhyun answers, reaching out to dust off the pieces that landed in Chanyeol’s hair.
“Ugh.” Kyungsoo appears next to him and scowls. “You’re cleaning that up.”
Chanyeol stares at them, confused. “What’s going on?”
“This is the Christmas party,” Jongdae says, nudging Chanyeol until all four of them are gathered near the middle of the kitchen.
“But…” Chanyeol blinks. “We had the Christmas party.”
“This is your Christmas party,” Baekhyun says, patting the spot on the floor next to him. “Come sit.”
Chanyeol sits down next to him, still feeling a little dazed. “What happened to your family visits?”
“My brother couldn’t make it,” Baekhyun answers cheerfully. “I talked to him this morning. He said he’d try to make it for New Year’s and if not, then definitely in February because he has vacation time.”
“And my mom and brother are coming tomorrow,” Jongdae replies. “There’s some big family dinner and it seemed silly to make them miss the whole thing just to see me for an hour in here. Kyungsoo’s boytoy is coming to see him on New Year’s instead.”
Chanyeol gives them doubtful looks. “So this all just magically happened?”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “It’s fine,” he says, handing Jongdae a cup. “He’s in this area during the holidays so it doesn’t make a difference if he waits an extra week.”
“He,” Baekhyun echoes, curling his fingers around the cup Kyungsoo hands him. “Are you ever going to tell us who he is?”
“No.” Kyungsoo joins the three of them on the floor after handing Chanyeol his own cup.
Chanyeol peers at his cup. “Cocoa?”
“With marshmallows,” Jongdae says, giving Baekhyun a glare when he leans over to look into his cup.
“Hey, how come Jongdae has more marshmallows?” Baekhyun demands.
“Because he’s my favourite,” Kyungsoo snaps. “I didn’t count them. I just grabbed a bunch and threw them in.” He rolls his eyes as Jongdae fishes out a few marshmallows from his cup with his spoon and transfers them to Baekhyun’s cup.
“What’s wrong?” Jongdae gives Chanyeol a puzzled look. “We know it’s not much, but Kyungsoo also saved us some of the fudge the volunteers brought in last week. It’s kind of-”
“You didn’t have to do this,” Chanyeol interrupts. “I was fine. I am fine. I had a good time yesterday. You should be spending Christmas with your family.”
“We are,” Baekhyun says. “I don’t know what I’d do in here without Jongdae and Kyungsoo. And now you.”
Jongdae reaches out to pat Chanyeol on the knee. “We know it’s not the same as real family, but makeshift families can be good too...”
“Don’t worry, newbie,” Kyungsoo says. “We’ve got you.”
Chanyeol grins as he nudges Baekhyun next to him. “Feelings Jar,” he says and Baekhyun laughs. Chanyeol holds out his cup. “To prison family.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You guys are such losers,” he says, but he lifts up his cup to touch it against Chanyeol’s cup.
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
Christmas was good. I miss my family a lot during the holiday season. Even though they visit, it's just…it's different. But I have Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. And Baekhyun. I don't know what I would have done my first few months here if I didn't have Baekhyun. He was put in here a week before me so we were both new. It's not easy in here. It's not maximum-security prison but it's still prison. I know that what I did was stupid, infinitely stupid. Because now I'll always be someone who was in prison. But then I think about how if I hadn't been infinitely stupid, I would have never have met Baekhyun.
What? No, I don't have long left in here. Neither does Baekhyun. We finish our sentences around the same time too.
Yeah. That's good. [PAUSE]
New Year's resolution? Hmm. I'm not sure. [PAUSE] Read more. Try to beat my record of how long Kyungsoo can be around me before he loses his temper. Stop stealing Sehun's bubble gum. Umm, tell Baekhyun.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, that last one's overdue.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:13 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
Hey! How was your Christmas?
Wow. That's making me hungry. Did your daughter like the dollhouse?
[LAUGHS] Yeah, I bet.
Christmas here was good. Chanyeol was a little sad so we had our own Christmas party, just the four of us. It was nice. I was hiding in the bathroom my first Christmas here. [LAUGHS] Jongdae found me and I was crying about how I missed my brother and how stupid I felt. It's okay in here, but it's harder around Christmas time. I guess…I don't know, I didn't want Chanyeol to feel that way. Back then Jongdae and I only had each other but Chanyeol has three of us.
Yeah, they are. It’s like having a family here.
New Year's resolutions? Okay, let's see. I should actually start doing my job at the library instead of just bothering Jongdae. Uhh…try to figure out what I'm going to do when I get out of here. I probably can't go back to my old job.
[LAUGHS] No, it's definitely not a good idea. And uhh, figure some stuff out with Jongdae. [PAUSE] I'm pretty sure I've gone over my time.
No, I don't have anything to add.
Okay, see you next week.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:38 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:40 P.M.]
Didn't I tell you guys I wanted to be scheduled after Jongdae? How come Baekhyun always has so much to say?
You guys were talking about New Year's resolutions? That makes sense. Baekhyun needs a lot of self-improvement.
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Today's dinner menu is-
No, I have no New Year's resolutions. I don't see the point of making promises you're just going to break in a day. Now as I was saying, today's dinner menu is: chicken stew, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables and dessert is fruit.
What? No, I really have no resolutions. If you want to better yourself, just do it. There’s no need for a grand proclamation.
Off the top of my head? Okay. Try not to kill Jongdae and Baekhyun and Chanyeol. That's my resolution. [PAUSE]
Can I go? Great. [Inmate stands up but does not leave]
Umm. I'm going to let my mom visit me. I keep telling her not to come because I don't want her to see me in here. Chanyeol misses his family, he wants to see them even though they sound awful. My mom is great and she wants to come see me, I don't know. Jongdae’s been telling me to get over myself so that's what I'm going to do. Umm, okay. Bye.
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 3:54 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 4:01 P.M.]
Hey! Happy New Year! How was your Christmas?
That sounds like fun!
My Christmas? It was good. It was really good. I spent Christmas day with Kyungsoo, Jongdae and Baekhyun. We were sharing best and worst Christmases, although I couldn’t really think of a best one. My parents didn’t make a big deal about Christmas, and if my sister and I did something wrong in December we didn’t get any gifts. Once my dad had to go on a business trip and he took my mom with him. That was a nice Christmas. This Christmas was nice too. I’ve never celebrated Christmas with people I really like. Except for my sister. [PAUSE] Sorry. I don’t really have anything to say. Christmas was good.
What? New Year’s resolutions? Hmm. I want to learn a new trade while I’m here, so I’m not lost when I get out of here. New and reformed Chanyeol! A new straight path to follow. Without fire. [PAUSE] Have I gone over my time?
[LAUGHS] I can keep going? You’re sure? Okay. New Year’s resolutions, right? I think…I feel okay over here. With the three of them, you know? I always felt like I had to try really hard to make friends, or to please my family or- just for anything. But Kyungsoo and the rest of them, I don’t have to try so hard. Jongdae laughs at all my lame jokes, Baekhyun does thing where he plays with my ears when he’s trying to figure something out and Kyungsoo…well. He’s Kyungsoo. The other day he told me I was last place on his blacklist ranking. I think he was trying to be nice. So I just want to figure out how to continue feeling okay with myself. [SMILES] I’m done now. Thanks for letting me go over.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 4:21 P.M.]
Author: baeklights
Recipient: modelpress
Pairing/Focus: OT4 (Baekhyun/Chen)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: N/A
Length: 9,896
Summary: How to make friends in prison.
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
Hi. I’m Chanyeol. I’m new. [PAUSE]
Uh. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say. My counsellor said I can say anything, that you guys are just interested in life in a low-security prison from our point of view. Am I supposed to tell you what I did to get myself in here? Hey, low-security means there aren’t any murderers here, right? Because there’s this one guy here…he looks like he might have- he’s tiny, but I don’t know. I feel uncomfortable around him. But it’s my first day so I’m uncomfortable in general, I guess. [PAUSE]
How long am I supposed to be here for?
Oh. So I can leave? Okay. So um. Bye.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 3:08 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
The new guy is cute, right? In a weird Bambi kind of way. He’s all skittish. Baekhyun’s in charge of showing him around. I think he’s scared of us. Probably because we’re too loud. Every time we laugh, he jumps, which is kind of funny because we’re pretty small compared to him.
I think it’s his first time in prison. It’s not so bad, right? [LAUGHS] Right, you guys wouldn’t know. How come you guys decided to do your documentary on inmates in a low-security prison? You can’t get really be getting any interesting stories out of any of us. I’m in here because I stole stuff.
How did I get caught? Ah, that’s…embarrassing. Maybe I’ll tell you when I have nothing to say.
What? [LAUGHS] No, I guess I never run out of things to say. But you guys have never cut me off. Baekhyun says you cut him off the last time. It doesn’t surprise me that he can talk for fifteen minutes straight. At least you guys get to tell him to leave. What does he even talk about? Can you guys actually use anything he tells you? Last night he talked to me about how he’s going to make his own eyeliner. I’m pretty sure that’s contraband. I don’t know if that matters. The guards don’t really seem to care too much. Unless they’re taking shots, but that Junmyeon guy is usually around and Baekhyun just bats his eyes at him so he never does anything. I’m pretty sure he likes Baek. Isn’t that inappropriate? He shouldn’t be making eyes at an inmate.
What? Baek? I meant Baekhyun. [PAUSE] Can I leave?
What? I’m not blushing. I’m leaving, okay?
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:28 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. This is the first time Inmate no. 21099219 leaves before his allotted time is done.
2. Must pay closer attention to Inmate no. 21099219’s reactions when talking about Inmate no. 29190506.
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:31 P.M.]
Where’s Jongdae? I usually run into him leaving when I come in.
He left early? Really? I can never get him to shut him up. How’d you guys do that? [PAUSE] Nothing, huh? You know, you guys aren’t very talkative. Whatever. Did Jongdae tell you about the new guy? Chanyeol. I think Jongdae thinks he’s cute. He’s not that cute. Or at all really. We don’t know what he’s in here for. Do you?
Really? You don’t know anything about any of us? So I could tell you I’m in here for killing a guy and you’d believe me?
Oh, right. Minimum security. Why are you even here? We’re all here for pretty lame reasons. Do you know why Kyungsoo is in here? No, wait, you probably don’t. I doubt he says anything substantial when he’s in here. He says he just reads you the menu for the day and then glares at you until you’re uncomfortable and you let him leave. I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to do that so I know he’s lying, but he probably would if he could.
Anyway what was I saying?
Oh, yeah, the new kid. Who is not cute. Jongdae has poor taste. You know he thinks that one guard, Junmyeon, is cute? Do you know who that is? I’ve never seen Junmyeon around here, he’s usually around the cafeteria. But seriously, he’s not cute either. I mean, I guess he’s okay looking. But Chanyeol really isn’t. He’s got weird hair. Like ramen.
Hey, does the new kid talk a lot? He said he was assigned to do this documentary too. It’s cool for you, right? Find out what it’s like for a newbie. He doesn’t seem to have a lot to say to us. But Jongdae and I talk a lot. Which you know.
What? [LAUGHS] You think we’re bad one-on-one, you should see us together. Kyungsoo asks who does the listening if both of us are always talking. [LAUGHS] It’s weird that I only met Jongdae in prison, right? Who meets their best friend in prison? I mean, Kyungsoo is cool too. Don’t tell him I said that. He gets mad whenever we say he’s our friend. We- what? It’s been fifteen minutes already? Seriously? But I just wanted-
Fine, fine. See you next week.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:49 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:50 P.M.]
You know, if you insist on wasting my time by making me come in here and talking, you should at least make it a point to see me on time. I can’t be away from the kitchen unless it’s important. This is not important. Do you know who I had to leave in charge? Fucking Jongin. [PAUSE] You look affronted. Am I not supposed to swear?
Damn straight I can say whatever I want.
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Tonight’s dinner: Chicken Alfredo, salad, potatoes, rice or bread. And dessert is pudding.
[STOPS TALKING AND STARES AT CAMERA]
[Inmate no. 12399102 is dismissed at 4:16 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Since Inmate no. 12399102 is unwilling to actively participate, perhaps preparing questions for his recordings will be helpful.
“Soo, baby!” Baekhyun and Jongdae hijack him as soon as he leaves the room where they film the interviews for the documentary.
“What’d you talk about this time?” Jongdae asks, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
“I told you, I just read out the menu.” Kyungsoo grunts and punches Baekhyun in the chest when he attempts to put an arm around his waist.
“You let Jongdae touch you,” Baekhyun complains, rubbing his chest.
“I have favourites.” Kyungsoo glares at Jongdae when he leans in too close. “Don’t think I won’t punch you right in your pretty little face.” He shrugs Jongdae’s arm off his shoulders, but Jongdae easily slides his arm around Baekhyun instead.
“Hear that?” Jongdae says smugly. “Kyungsoo thinks I’m pretty.”
“Kyungsoo’s lame though,” Baekhyun says, although he shifts closer. “The only thing I trust his judgement on is food.”
“You’re only saying that to stop me from spitting in the coffee I make the two of you in the mornings.”
Jongdae freezes, bringing him and Baekhyun to a halt. “Mine too?”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “Depends on whether or not you’ve annoyed me the night before.” He looks around curiously. “Where’s the newbie? The one with the ears? I thought you were in charge of him.”
“Probably in his room,” Jongdae says. “He’s scared of you.”
“Says it looks like you have murder in your eyes,” Baekhyun adds.
“Really?” Kyungsoo seems pleased that the new guy is already scared of him.
Jongdae snorts. “If they only knew what you were really in for.”
Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. “That’s your second strike for today. One more and you’re both getting spit in your coffee tomorrow.”
“Second?” Jongdae whines.
“What did I do?” Baekhyun says simultaneously.
“Tweedle Dee makes a mistake, Tweedle Dum gets a strike too,” Kyungsoo replies. “I have to go make sure Jongin hasn’t burnt down my kitchen.”
“I’m not Tweedle Dum,” Jongdae says, shoving Baekhyun away from him.
“You’re the one who got us the second strike,” Baekhyun says bitterly. “Come on, let’s go find Ramen Hair and tell him Kyungsoo was looking for him just to see how wide his eyes get.”
“What kind of sorry-ass ramen do you eat? His fair is just frizzy.”
“He looks like he stuck his finger in an electric socket.”
“It’s cute,” Jongdae insists.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he puts an arm around Jongdae’s waist and squeezes it. “It’s cute that you think it’s cute,” he concedes.
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 12:01 P.M.]
Hi, it’s me Chanyeol.
Oh yeah, you guys knew that. Um. Prison is okay. You know, for prison. I usually tag along with Baekhyun and Jongdae most of the time. They’re funny. They say I’m quiet, which isn’t really true. They just don’t let anyone else get a word in. I hang out with Jongdae if he and Baekhyun aren’t together. Which is hardly ever. They haven’t been together lately though, Jongdae’s not as loud without him. Everyone’s pretty nice here actually. Except the guy who runs the kitchen.
[PAUSE]
[VOICE DROPS TO WHISPER] I did a bad thing.
I insulted his cooking. I didn’t know he did the cooking! He was talking to Jongdae, and I just mentioned it to Baekhyun. And I wasn’t harsh or anything. I just said…okay, I may have used the word atrocious. Now he won’t feed me. [PAUSE] Do you have any food?
Oh, right, you probably aren’t allowed to bring anything in here unless it’s checked out or whatever. [SIGHS]
[Inmate no. 72119129 is dismissed at 12:09 P.M. after Interviewer A gets depressed by his pitiful face]
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 12:17 P.M.]
Sorry I’m late. I snuck Chanyeol some crackers while he was leaving and made sure he got to eat them before one of Kyungsoo’s spies saw. They’re not really spies. They’re all just afraid of Kyungsoo. I don’t know why. They wouldn’t be scared if they knew what he did to get himself in here. Chanyeol shouldn’t have said what he did though. Kyungsoo is sensitive. [PAUSE] Or whatever the Kyungsoo version of sensitive would be. But Chanyeol is new, he’s still getting used to everything.
So anyway. Sehun, do you know him? Pasty kid who looks mad all the time? Sehun and Tao, you know him, right? Tall kid, panda eyes? They’re having some kind of competition. I’m not really sure what it’s about. Probably who can gather the most prison bitches or something. Sehun tried to recruit me. Actually his exact words were, “Let’s date.” [LAUGHS] Is that prison lingo for ‘let’s fuck’? I tried to ask Baek, but he’s all…pissed off about something and isn’t really talking to me right now. I don’t know. [PAUSE]
I mean, it’s not like I said yes. I don’t want to be Sehun’s prison bitch. [PAUSE] Or anyone’s prison bitch. Obviously.
I should go. I told Minseok I’d help him out in the library. Oh, uh, don’t tell Kyungsoo I gave Chanyeol food. [MUMBLES]
I said you can tell Byun Baekhyun he knows where to find me when he pulls that stick out of his ass.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 12:27 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 12:34 P.M.]
Hey. I know I’m late, sorry. I was trying to avoid Jongdae. Uh, we’re not on good terms right now. It’s mostly my fault. Or all my fault actually.
He said to tell me what? [LAUGHS] Yeah, I will. Apologize, I mean. [PAUSE]
It’s just…why are so many people hanging around him all the time lately? That stupid ramen-haired kid, Chanyeol, follows him around like a tail, even though I offered to help him pick out a class to take because he might as well learn something. He’s here for a year. But he just sticks to Jongdae! And then that punk Sehun asks Jongdae out. Right in front of me! Like he doesn’t know I- [PAUSE]
Whatever. Jongdae can do what he wants. He can hang out with Ramen Hair and date Sehun, who has the brains of a toaster. Are we done?
Five more minutes? [PAUSE]
Can I leave anyway?
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 12:44 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Must try to figure out what is happening with Inmate no. 29190506 and Inmate no. 21099219.
[Inmate no. 12399102 storms in enters at 4:45 P.M.]
Did you hear? DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT NEWBIE SAID ABOUT MY COOKING?
Yes? What did he say he say?
He may have called it atrocious? HE SAID IT WAS ATROCIOUS MUSH THAT EVEN VERMIN SHOULDN’T BE SUBJECT TO. WHERE DOES YODA THINK HE IS? A FUCKING FIVE-STAR HOTEL? What is he expecting? STEAK? POMMES FUCKING FRITES? DOES HE THINK I LIKE SERVING THIS? I TRY TO MAKE IT EDIBLE. Do you know when we receive cans of beans and meat sometimes it says it’s not fit for human consumption? DOES HE THINK I MAKE THE FOOD SHITTY ON PURPOSE? I HAVE TO EAT THIS TOO.
What? Yes, I’m starving him. He doesn’t like my food, he can stay hungry. Unless he can get something from commissary, but Luhan says his money hasn’t come in yet. [GLARES] Did you give him food?
Good. Ungrateful bitches need to learn. PRISON ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.
[STANDS AND KICKS CHAIR OVER. DOES NOT APOLOGIZE]
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 4:51 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Most substantial interview Inmate no. 12399102 has given.
2. Make sure not to schedule Inmate no. 72119129 and Inmate no. 12399102’s interviews back-to-back to avoid run ins.
3. Figure out how to handle next week’s group interview since Group C inmates are all at odds with each other.
Baekhyun finds Chanyeol in his dorm room, face down on his bed. It’s a little sad. The bed’s too small for Chanyeol because his feet are sticking out. Baekhyun wonders if he curls up to sleep because it can get cold at night.
“Hey.”
Chanyeol lifts his head up from the pillow and he looks surprised to see Baekhyun. “Hey,” he says, scrambling to sit up. “What’s up?”
“I know how you can get feeding privileges back.”
Chanyeol gapes at him. “Getting fed is a privilege?”
“Yeah, when Kyungsoo is the one in charge of the kitchen,” Baekhyun says shrugging.
Chanyeol pulls his knees up to his chest and Baekhyun can’t be sure, but he thinks he’s pouting a bit. Jongdae was right. He was sort of cute. In a tall, awkward way. Baekhyun has no interest in tall, awkward boys though.
“How can I get Kyungsoo to feed me again?”
Baekhyun thinks about how much trouble he’s going to be in for this. Chanyeol is so lucky Jongdae likes him, because this means by extension, Baekhyun is also required to care. At least a little.
“I’m going to tell you why Kyungsoo is in here.”
Kyungsoo is leaving his kitchen when he finds Chanyeol pacing in the cafeteria. He narrows his eyes. He has a lot of energy for someone who hasn’t eaten for three days. Jongdae probably fed him something. He scoffs. Typical.
“I can’t actually ban you from the cafeteria but it’s in your best interest to stay away from me,” he says, getting Chanyeol’s attention.
Chanyeol freezes and he turns to Kyungsoo, eyes wide. “I’m really sorry,” he blurts out, playing with his hands. “I shouldn’t have said that about your food.”
“No,” Kyungsoo agrees. He doesn’t blink and he knows Chanyeol is starting to freak out by the way he’s just staring at him.
“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol says again. “Please feed me.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “No,” he repeats, moving past him and purposely bumping him on the shoulder.
“Wait.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t even break his stride, although he rolls his eyes anyway. Newbies didn’t know anything.
Then Chanyeol says something and Kyungsoo stops in his tracks.
No, Kyungsoo thinks. Chanyeol couldn’t have possibly have said what he thinks he said. “What?”
“I said…” Chanyeol takes a deep breath, but he still looks like he’s going to be sick. “I said, I know why you’re in here.”
Kyungsoo glares at him, but Chanyeol looks terrified so he drops the glare. And smiles. Chanyeol somehow seems even more scared now. “Who told you? Baekhyun or Jongdae?”
“Neither of them,” Chanyeol answers quickly. Too quickly.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes yet again. At least Chanyeol knows not to tattle on anyone. It’s pointless though because Baekhyun and Jongdae are the only ones who know why he’s in prison. “That’s fine,” he says mildly. He doesn’t need Chanyeol to tell him which one of them told him. He’ll figure it out.
Jongdae is sorting through a bunch of textbooks in the library when he feels a shadow fall over him.
“I fixed Chanyeol’s food problem.”
Baekhyun looks very pleased with himself when Jongdae looks up. “Yeah? And have you fixed you’re ‘I’m an asshole for no reason’ problem too?”
Baekhyun pouts before he drops down on the floor next to Jongdae. “Come on. I’m going to be in so much trouble for helping him,” he says.
“What? Did you feed him?”
“No,” Baekhyun scoffs. “I fixed his problem permanently. I told him how to get Kyungsoo to forgive him.”
Jongdae wrinkles his nose. “Kyungsoo doesn’t forgive. He’s Kyungsoo.”
“True,” Baekhyun says. “Well, I told him how to get Kyungsoo to redirect his anger.”
There’s a slight ruckus by the library door and they hear Minseok loudly complaining.
“Here we go,” Baekhyun breathes out.
Jongdae turns to him. “What did you do?”
“Which one of you was it?” Kyungsoo appears and kicks over the neat pile of textbooks that Jongdae had stacked. The two of them yelp when the books fall down heavily on their hands.
“These are heavy, you bitch,” Jongdae whines. “What’s your problem?”
Kyungsoo crosses his arms and towers over them. “Which one of you told Yoda why I’m in here?”
Jongdae’s jaw drops and that’s obviously a dead giveaway.
Kyungsoo smiles sweetly as he turns his focus on Baekhyun. “Byun Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun gives him a sheepish smile and Jongdae grabs his hand underneath the pile of books.
[Group C inmates enter at 12:01 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 sits beside Inmate no. 12399102. Inmate no. 29190506 sits beside Inmate no. 12399102. Inmate no. 21099219 then makes them all move a seat down and sits down beside Inmate no. 72119129.]
[As with previous group interviews, Inmates will be referred to by their initials]
BBH: Kyungsoo and Chanyeol made up.
PCY: [SMILES] I had oatmeal for breakfast.
KJD: Baekhyun’s on Kyungsoo’s blacklist now though.
BBH: It’s cool. I’m almost always on Kyungsoo’s blacklist.
DKS: [NODS]
PCY: I got a job working in laundry. Kyungsoo pulled some strings.
DKS: Seemed better than letting him wander around running his mouth off. He’s lucky he just pissed me off. He could get in real trouble for pissing off the wrong person.
KJD: Yes, so lucky that he only pissed you off. He was only starved.
DKS: Yixing runs the laundry services, and he’s pretty cool. So even if Chanyeol says the wrong thing, he probably won’t annoy him.
BBH: The interviewers look shocked. Is this the most you’ve said during an interview?
KJD: [LAUGHS] He yelled in the last interview? Baek, we should put that in the Feelings Jar.
PCY: What’s the Feelings Jar?
BBH: Every time Kyungsoo emotes we put it in the Feelings Jar. I mean, we know he’s mad all the time, but yelling goes down as anger, because he doesn’t really yell. Just sort of glares and mumbles death threats.
PCY: He smiled the other day. You can put that down.
DKS: Hey! Newbie!
BBH: He smiled? When?
KJD: Why?
PCY: He’s been trying to teach Jongin how to make this soup and he finally got it right yesterday, so he earned himself a Kyungsoo smile.
KJD: He smiled and was proud of someone! Baekhyun, are you getting all of this? Three more things for the Feelings Jar. Chanyeol, you need to tell us these things.
PCY: I wasn’t aware you collected Kyungsoo’s feelings in a jar.
BBH: Now you do. We’ll show where it is so you can add stuff to it yourself.
DKS: Newbie, you’re talking too much.
BBH: Kyungsoo has taken Chanyeol under his wing, so he’s a lot more talkative now.
DKS: Someone has to take care of him. He was so pitiful when he was trying to blackmail me into forgiveness. He was more pathetic than Jongdae was when he first got here.
KJD: Hey! I was still…in shock.
BBH: [PATS KJD ON SHOULDER] Do you guys know why Jongdae is in prison?
KJD: Don’t. It’s embarrassing.
PCY: Can’t be more embarrassing than why Kyungsoo is in here.
DKS: You assholes told him why I’m in here but he doesn’t know why you’re in here?
KJD: Baekhyun told him why you’re in here.
PCY: Baekhyun didn’t tell me why he was in here either.
BBH: Prostitution.
KJD: Don’t try to make yourself sound cool. Tell him the truth.
BBH: I was arrested for prostitution.
DKS: But tell Newbie how you got caught.
[SILENCE]
KJD: Oh, our time’s up?
BBH: Great! Let’s go! See you guys next week!
PCY: Bye!
[Group C inmates leave at 12:32 P.M.]
“Wait.” Chanyeol runs after Baekhyun as he tries to flee from them, but Chanyeol’s legs are longer and there’s nowhere for Baekhyun to run. “Hold on!” Chanyeol grabs his arm. “You don’t have to tell me how you got caught. Just chill.”
“You may as well tell him,” Kyungsoo says, shuffling the three of them towards the cafeteria. “He’s the only one of us who doesn’t know.”
“Wait.” Chanyeol blinks. “I’m one of you guys now?”
“Of course,” Jongdae says. “You already passed initiation. You survived Kyungsoo’s wrath. Uhh, sort of. His wrath’s ongoing so you know.”
“I don’t know why you look so pleased,” Kyungsoo says. “Being lumped in with the two of them is hardly an achievement.”
“Baek, just tell Chanyeol why you’re in here,” Jongdae says, plopping down on a seat when they reach the cafeteria. “Kyungsoo has that tone of his. You know, the lecture one. Save us.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and leaves them to head into the kitchen.
“I really was arrested for prostitution,” Baekhyun says, hopping up on the table, resting his elbows on his knees. “And one night, this one guy refused to pay me because he wanted me to lick his toes and I’m not into that shit. But I did everything else! Dicks went up asses, he came down my throat, I provided a service, I should have been paid!”
Jongdae nods as he rubs consoling circles on Baekhyun’s knee.
Chanyeol is listening like he’s never heard anything so fascinating before. “So did you like…cut off his penis?”
Jongdae chokes and Baekhyun looks sad.
“I should have,” he says morosely. “But I called the cops.”
Chanyeol blinks. “You called the cops? Because the guy didn’t pay for sex? Illegal sex?”
“And then he tried to proposition them when they started to arrest him,” Kyungsoo says, appearing with cups of weak coffee.
“That one cop was totally eyeing my ass,” Baekhyun insists.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, patting Baekhyun’s thigh. He snatches his hand back when he sees Jongdae narrow his eyes at the touch.
“Yeah,” Jongdae says, squeezing Baekhyun’s wrist. “I got caught because I got electrocuted stealing a television set.”
Chanyeol spits out a mouthful of coffee. “What?”
“You’re disgusting,” Kyungsoo says, disdainfully.
Jongdae groans and buries his face in Baekhyun’s knees. “I was stealing a T.V. And I got electrocuted on my way out.”
Baekhyun pets his hair. “He woke up in the hospital. Zip-tied to the bed.”
“Zip-tied?”
“They couldn’t really handcuff him,” Kyungsoo says, sitting down across them. “With the electrocution and all.”
“It’s not so bad,” Baekhyun tells Jongdae, his hand moving to the back of Jongdae’s neck. “Every time you feel embarrassed, just remember that Kyungsoo is in prison for trying to steal the condom machine out of a public bathroom.”
Chanyeol snickers. “Whose dick were you so thirsty for?”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo snaps, glaring at him. “I just…I don’t want to talk about it.”
“What are you in here for, Chanyeol?” Jongdae asks, turning his face towards them, still resting the side of his face against Baekhyun’s knees.
“Uhh,” Chanyeol stares at his hands. “Arson.”
They all freeze.
“Are you serious?” Kyungsoo finally says. “Yoda is the most bad ass one out of all of us?”
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 10:00 A.M.]
Hi!
Chipper? Me? I guess I am. At least compared to when I first got here, right? [LAUGHS] It’s been…three months? No, wait, it’s almost four months. Wow. I’ve been in prison for four months. Weird.
What’s it been like? Okay actually. I think it helps that I have Baekhyun and Jongdae. And Kyungsoo. Although…[PAUSE] I mean, it’s cool that he’s nice to me and all now. Or like, as nice as Kyungsoo can be but it’s still kind of scary? He’s always around, and honestly, the doting is weirder than when he disliked me. He keeps popping up. Even my own parents didn’t check up on me so much. When I told him this, he said that maybe if they did, I wouldn’t have been busy setting fires to abandoned buildings. I think he just likes ruining all my prison fun.
Hmm? Laundry duty’s okay. It’s kind of awkward. Sometimes we get sheets with stains on them. You know? Stains. Yixing’s pretty cool too. Sometimes he helps Kyungsoo out in the kitchen. He’s a pretty good cook. Err, Kyungsoo is good too. His food really isn’t all that bad. I think I was just too fussy when I first got here. His mac and cheese is really good. He-
Oh? I went over my time? Oh, okay. Sorry. See you guys next week.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 10:17 A.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 10:20 A.M.]
Newbie talks a lot. He’s just like Dumb and Dumber. They’re sick by the way. Baekhyun and Jongdae. It’s not surprising that they’re both sick. They do everything together, so I guess sharing germs is the prison version of a friendship bracelet or whatever. They’re disgusting.
What? Yeah. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been talking a lot since Chanyeol got here. He’s infuriating, I can’t internalize my anger anymore. Baekhyun and Jongdae keep cackling every time I lose my temper, and then all I hear is, “Put it in the Feelings Jar.” Assholes. I’m glad they’re sick. You think they talk a lot? You should see them when they’re sick. Most people are quiet and pitiful. These two…[SNEERS] All that whining. [PAUSE] How much time do I have left? Nine minutes?
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Today’s lunch menu: soup, chicken and mushroom pie, salad and dessert is canned pineapples. [FOLDS PAPER]
[PAUSE]
I was going to make chili for lunch. But the whining twins can only hold down soup, so I made soup instead. Don’t tell them I said that. They’ll just put it down in their Feelings Jar. Can I leave?
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 10:32 A.M.]
“You know,” Chanyeol says, following Kyungsoo around the kitchen. “Prison’s not so bad.”
Jongin looks up from the cans he’s opening. “Why is he here?” he asks Kyungsoo. “Won’t we get in trouble for letting him in here?”
“He’ll get in trouble for being out of bounds,” Kyungsoo says, ducking under one of Chanyeol’s long arms to reach for the salt. “We’re allowed in here. If he wants to get a shot that’s his problem.”
“That Junmyeon guard seems nice,” Chanyeol says thoughtfully. “I don’t think he’d give me a shot for being in here. Baekhyun and Jongdae are always in here.”
“Because Junmyeon is too busy watching Jongdae longingly to give him shots,” Jongin says, snickering.
“Oh. That’s true,” Chanyeol agrees. “But I’ve been in here for ten minutes and he hasn’t said anything. Anyway. As I was saying, prison isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s not the obvious path someone would choose to take in life but-”
“It’s not any path anyone would choose to take in life,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “Pass me that ladle over there. It’s not like someone just woke up and decided, ‘I think I’m going to grab some coffee and then find a way to get myself thrown in jail.’”
“Unless you’re that guy from Prison Break,” Chanyeol says, obediently handing Kyungsoo the ladle.
Jongin is giving him an incredulous look. “Is he serious? Is he broken?”
Kyungsoo smirks. “Maybe a little.”
“No, I mean it,” Chanyeol says. “It’s pretty okay. The people aren’t bad…even you.” He refuses to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes and hurriedly goes on, “I get fed, I have friends. Maybe I’ll find my purpose here.”
“In prison?” Jongin rolls his eyes.
“Because see, setting things on fire is totally not a cool way to live your life.”
“You needed to get your skinny ass thrown in prison to figure out that setting things on fire isn’t the right way to live?” Kyungsoo squints at the soup. This looks edible. It’s not like he can make the sick twins something fancy like winter squash soup, they’re in prison. Not that he would waste his efforts on them, even if he could.
“I can learn a trade here, right?” Chanyeol continues as if he hasn’t heard Kyungsoo at all. “I’ll learn a trade and then I’ll have a brand new life when I get out of here. No more fires. Park Chanyeol, new and improved! Accepted world-wide!”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he fills two cups with soup. “You’re underestimating how much the world cares about reformed prisoners,” he says. “You’re one Cheerio in the bulk box of life.”
Chanyeol pauses like he’s considering this. “Can I be Honey Nut?”
Jongin laughs out loud at that. “Oh my god, he’s serious.” He grins at Kyungsoo. “Can we keep him?”
Kyungsoo smirks. “No,” he says. “I’m sure if you examine him carefully you’ll find ‘Property of Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongdae’ written somewhere.”
“Pretty sure you have that written somewhere on you,” Jongin says, strategically shifting further away.
Kyungsoo ignores this. Jongin is kind of insufferable but it would be too much trouble to train someone else to be his right-hand man in the kitchen. Plus, Jongin doesn’t flinch as much or go running for cover when Kyungsoo gets angry about something. It’s helpful.
“Maybe I can work with you,” Chanyeol says.
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “I’m going to let the arsonist near a stove.”
“I’m a fairly decent cook,” Chanyeol insists. “I mean, I can make packaged ramen noodles all by myself. And I only lost two pans…okay, almost three, but mostly just two.”
“No,” Kyungsoo says.
“And I’m tall. I could help you reach for the things that are on the higher shelves that you struggle with because you’re so…” Chanyeol realizes he’s in dangerous territory and he trails off.
Kyungsoo is glaring at him. “Go on, newbie,” he says sweetly. “Because I’m so what?”
Chanyeol glances at Jongin, who has taken a sudden interest in the trays they serve the food on. “Uhhh…” Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo helplessly. “Please don’t starve me again.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Come here.” He scoffs when Chanyeol hesitates. “Just get over here. You think you’re the first person to call me short? I need you to take this soup to your owners.”
Chanyeol gives him a puzzled look. “We’re not allowed to take food out of the cafeteria.”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo says patronizingly. “That’s why I need you to smuggle it out of here.”
Chanyeol sniffs indignantly. “That’s why you let me in here. You just needed a soup mule.”
“Pretty much,” Kyungsoo says, before he adds, “And you were wandering around like a puppy trying to find its tail.”
“It’s weird without them,” Chanyeol complains. “And they don’t want me around. They just want to whine at each other and- snuggle.” His eyes brighten. “Hey, are they…” He trails off and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo.
“Yes,” Kyungsoo says.
Chanyeol looks surprised. “Really?”
“Yes. They just don’t know it yet.” Kyungsoo shoves the cups at him. “Make sure they eat. They’re going to fuss and complain about how they’re not hungry, but tell them that you don’t get to eat if they don’t.”
“I don’t like being sick.” Jongdae sounds despondent as he tries to burrow himself further into Baekhyun’s chest. “I was promised first-rate snuggling. I’m still cold. This isn’t good enough.”
His hair is tickling Baekhyun’s nose and his arm is starting to fall asleep under Jongdae’s head, but he ignores it. “No one likes being sick,” Baekhyun says, tightening his arm around Jongdae’s waist. “Can I continue reading? We promised we wouldn’t whine at each other, that’s what Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are there for. We’re both sick and miserable.”
Jongdae sniffles pitifully but he doesn’t say anything except to mumble a sorry against Baekhyun’s arm.
Baekhyun props the book up again, amazed that his fingers haven’t fallen off from the lack of blood flowing into them. “Buttercup at this time was nowhere near that high, being barely in the top twenty, and that primarily on potential, certainly not on any particular care she took of herself.” He pauses and waits for Jongdae to turn the page for him. “She hated to wash her face, she loathed the area behind her ears, she was sick of combing her hair and did so as little as possible. What she liked to do, preferred above all else really, was to ride her horse and taunt the farm boy.”
Jongdae glances at his watch. “Wait, your time’s up,” he says, pulling away from Baekhyun.
Baekhyun can feel how relieved his arm is when Jongdae rolls off it. He flexes his fingers out, and smiles smugly when Jongdae shifts up to rest his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head before he slides his arm around his shoulders.
“Pass me the book.” Jongdae holds out a hand expectantly.
Baekhyun hands it over before he reaches behind him to grab Jongdae’s free arm. “Cuddle me, bitch.”
“I was getting to it,” Jongdae grumbles, as he starts to settle down beside him. When he’s satisfied with the way he’s curled around Baekhyun, he holds up the book. “Aren’t you glad no one wants to be around us when we’re sick? They all avoid us and we get to do whatever we want until it’s time for the guards to do their rounds.”
“You want to be around me,” Baekhyun says.
“Because you’re still the funnest person here even when you’re sick.”
They hear a yelp, but Baekhyun doesn’t let Jongdae move to try to figure out what it is. He already knows that yelp. “It’s just Chanyeol.”
Chanyeol appears, his arms trapped under his sweater. He smiles bright when he sees the two of them are awake. “You’re up,” he says cheerfully. He gestures at the sweater, and Baekhyun gives him a suspicious look, before he pulls it away. “Soup!”
Jongdae groans as he shifts to bury his face in Baekhyun’s hair. “No soup,” he says. “No food.”
“We’re not hungry,” Baekhyun says. “But thanks.”
Chanyeol seems amused. “You’re nicer when you’re sick,” he says, snorting when Jongdae whines into Baekhyun’s hair. “He’s not.”
“Well, he’s nicer in general,” Baekhyun says, patting the arm Jongdae has around his waist. “I let him whine when he’s sick because he’s allowed to be the bitchier one once in awhile.” He glares at Chanyeol when he holds on the cups. “Seriously, we’re not hungry.”
Chanyeol pouts “You guys aren’t making me go back to kitchen without having some of this,” he insists.
“No,” Jongdae says, shifting down to press his face to the back of Baekhyun’s neck.
“Do I have to feed the two of you?”
Baekhyun and Jongdae both freeze before they look up at him hopefully.
Chanyeol looks at them in dismay. “I was just kidding!”
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
I’m back! Did you guys miss me?
What did we have? We had the flu. I think I gave it to Baekhyun because I got sick first. It was fine though. We got to laze around and do nothing. Mama Soo took care of us. [PAUSE] Err, don’t tell him I said that. I missed the library a little because I didn’t have to work. But Baekhyun and I read The Princess Bride while we were sick. You know it?
[LAUGHS] Yeah, Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die. It was a good book.
Christmas plans? Uh, well, I’ll be in here. [LAUGHS] It’s my…third Christmas here. But that’s only because I got here around Christmas time. I guess we’ll just have our annual Christmas party. I like Christmas. Even Kyungsoo is happier around Christmas time. Probably because some guy always visits him around this time. I wonder if that’s the guy who he stole the- [PAUSE] Uh, never mind.
Me? My mom and brother are coming to visit me. They always visit though. I’m lucky. Our time’s almost up, right? You guys are only coming back in after New Year’s? Okay. Merry Christmas! See you next year.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:14 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
I like coming in after Jongdae. He’s punctual. You should switch the schedules so I always come in after him. I don’t have to wait around until you tell Baekhyun to shut up and kick him out.
What? No, newbie’s coming, there was some incident with the laundry so he stayed back to help Yixing with it.
I don’t have any Christmas plans. I’m in prison. What kind of plans do you think we get to have in here?
Oh. The Christmas party. Yeah, that. It’s a Christmas party in prison. How do you think that goes? The volunteer groups start coming in around this time. Try to make themselves feel better about their lives and all the shitty things they’ve done all year around by giving up an hour of their time. [SHRUGS] I don’t really care, they bring all this food with them. Homemade fudge, fresh fruit, real ingredients. It helps us make a decent Christmas dinner.
Yeah. I’m getting a visit.
No, you may not ask who.
My time’s up soon so I’m just going to leave. [PAUSE] Um. Merry Christmas or…you know, whatever.
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 3:28 P.M.]
NOTES:
1. Inmate no. 12399102 has been more pleasant conversational lately. (Possibly since Inmate no. 72119129 has started.)
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:30 P.M.]
Hey.
Yeah, I’m feeling better.
I’m still pale? I only started moving around today, so I’m still a little under the weather, but my temperature’s back to normal.
Plans for Christmas? Just hang around at the Christmas party with Jongdae. And Chanyeol this year. Kyungsoo will be around too. Glaring about something or the other. I’m kidding. Kyungsoo’s in a pretty good mood this time of the year. Probably because of that pretty boy who visits him every year.
Me? My brother might visit. He doesn’t live close by and he has his own family so he can’t always make it. He couldn’t make it last year, but he said he’d try this year.
My parents? No, they won’t visit. I haven’t talked them since I was 17.
It’s okay. They didn’t like me for who I was and I don’t need people like that in my life. I have my brother. He’s great. And I have Jongdae and Kyungsoo. And Chanyeol! He was really nice while Jongdae and I were sick. Kyungsoo too, but I think Kyungsoo used up his nice quota for the year.
What are you guys doing for Christmas?
Oh. That’s nice!
You have a kid? What did you get her for Christmas?
[LAUGHS] I’m sure she’ll like it.
I think my time’s up. I won’t keep you. I hope you have a good Christmas with your families.
Thanks.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:48 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 3:50 P.M.]
Hey! Hi! Sorry you guys had to rearrange your the schedule for me. I was helping Yixing out. Does it matter who comes in first?
Okay, good.
Hmm? Oh, no, nothing bad. Just a minor incident in the laundry room. It’s fixed now. Everything’s good.
Christmas plans? Umm, no. Jongdae said there’s a Christmas party, so I’ll just be at that.
No. No one’s coming to visit me. They’re not…they’re not very proud to have me as a son. My dad won’t let me talk to my sister either. The chaplain gives us cards to send home, so I took one. But it got sent back to me. I mean, I put their names on my visitors list but I haven’t heard from any of them since I got arrested.
It’s fine. I’m okay. Jongdae and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo…that’s almost as good as having family. Better even maybe. My dad mostly used Christmas to ask me what I was going to do with my life or was I just going to be useless for the rest of my life. Jongdae and them…they don’t make me feel small. [SMILES] You know, as small as you can make someone like me feel.
No, don’t apologize for asking about it! You didn’t know. It’s okay.
Can I go? Okay, thanks.
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you guys too.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 3:03 P.M.]
“Where are Chanyeol and your loser half?” Kyungsoo asks, straightening out the tray of cookies. He cringes when Sehun screeches out a high note from the centre of the room where he and Jongin are loudly massacring The Little Drummer Boy.
“They’re coming,” Baekhyun says. He peers over Kyungsoo’s shoulder at the cookies. “Are you capping the number of cookies we get to have this year too?”
Kyungsoo turns to roll his eyes at him. “I didn’t limit the cookies for everyone last year,” he says, poking Baekhyun in the stomach. “Just you.”
“Because cookies are rare,” Baekhyun pouts. “I like cookies. Cookies give me hope. Cookies give my life meaning.”
“Three cookies,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “If there are any left over you can have them.”
“As if there will be any cookies left at the end of this party,” Baekhyun says, although he takes the gingerbread man that Kyungsoo holds out to him. He beams when Chanyeol and Jongdae enter the common room. “Cookies!”
Jongdae brightens and drags Chanyeol over. “Thanks,” he says, plucking the gingerbread cookie out of Baekhyun’s hand.
“Newbie, have a cookie,” Kyungsoo says, nudging at the tray.
“No thanks,” Chanyeol says, plopping down on a chair.
“I’ll have his cookie,” Baekhyun offers.
“I’m sure you would like to, tubby,” Kyungsoo sneers. “Have some cookies, Chanyeol. Baekhyun believes they have healing powers. Maybe they’ll make you smile.”
Jongdae hangs over Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Come on,” he says reaching out with his fingers to lift the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth. “Kyungsoo is asking you to smile. Kyungsoo. Cheer up.”
“Why so gloomy, newbie?” Baekhyun takes a seat next to him, happily munching on a cookie shaped like a Christmas tree.
“He’s not getting a visit tomorrow,” Jongdae says, shifting over to lean down heavily against Baekhyun’s shoulder.
“Family visits suck though,” Kyungsoo says, smacking Jongdae’s hand when he tries to grab Baekhyun’s cookie again. “It’s uncomfortable. They don’t want to be here and you feel guilty about how your bad decisions are forcing your family through an uncomfortable situation.”
Jongdae smirks. “So that’s not your brother who comes to visit you,” he says smugly.
Baekhyun turns his head to give Kyungsoo his own smug smile. “Who is he then?” he asks. “He has a pretty face. Is that whose dick you were so desperate to hop on?”
Jongdae snickers. “What do you guys talk about? ‘Hey baby, I’m sorry you’re in here because I didn’t carry a condom. But I told you I would have gone to the drug store to get some.’”
“Or were you stealing the condoms because he was going to hop on your dick?” Baekhyun’s eyes widen with glee. “Kyungsoo, do you top?”
“Did you think he didn’t?” Jongdae sounds appalled. “There’s no way Kyungsoo puts out for anyone.” He pats Chanyeol on the shoulder. “Don’t be a sad cloud,” he says, pouting. “It’s Christmas Eve.”
“I’m okay,” Chanyeol says, giving him a strained smile.
“Look.” Kyungsoo holds out a cookie. “It’s a snowman! Jongin did the icing for this one. He gave the snowman teeth to look like you.”
Chanyeol thanks him and takes the cookie, and he manages to give them a genuine smile even if it is a small one.
“Baekhyun, come help me bring in more juice,” Kyungsoo says. “We’re running low.”
“Isn’t that what you have kitchen slaves for?” Baekhyun pulls a face but he obediently gets to his feet and follows him.
“Hey.” Jongdae tugs on Chanyeol’s arm. “I’m sorry your family’s not visiting tomorrow. Kyungsoo’s right though. My mom always looks uncomfortable when she visits, and she always ends up crying.”
“It’s not that,” Chanyeol says, tracing the outline of the icing on his cookie. “I got a letter from my sister.”
Jongdae looks at him uncertainly. “That’s nice?”
“Yeah.” Chanyeol frowns at his snowman. “They moved. That’s why my card got sent back. They moved and they didn’t even tell me.”
“Oh.” Jongdae slides his hand on top of Chanyeol’s and gives it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry. Families are just…they can be assholes sometimes.”
Chanyeol laughs at that. “Yeah.”
“Hey!” Baekhyun reappears with an armful of plastic cups that he dumps on the table before he grabs Jongdae’s arm. “Let’s go show these amateurs how it’s done.” He gestures to Luhan and Minseok who are singing- or rather, serenading each other- to the tune of All I Want For Christmas is You.
Kyungsoo arranges the mess Baekhyun has created on the table and then joins Chanyeol, who’s watching Baekhyun bicker with Luhan as he attempts to shoo them away.
“Eat the cookie,” Kyungsoo says, nodding at the cookie Chanyeol is still holding. “Making cookies is the only thing Jongin does better than me.”
Chanyeol lips quirk up slightly. “I didn’t think you understood the concept of someone being better than you.”
“No one cares about cookies,” Kyungsoo mutters, and Chanyeol snorts.
“Everyone cares about cookies,” Chanyeol says, finally biting into his cookie.
Kyungsoo groans when Baekhyun finally manages to shove Luhan away. “They’re so embarrassing,” he says, slinking lower in his seat like he doesn’t want to be associated with them.
“Are they bad?”
“No, they actually sing really well. But they’re embarrassing.” Kyungsoo grimaces when Jongdae starts the opening notes of Santa Baby.
Chanyeol laughs. “This is both the best and worst thing I have ever experienced,” he says when Baekhyun joins in.
“This is only the beginning,” Kyungsoo says. He tries to sink even lower in his seat, and it looks like he’s trying to make himself disappear. Chanyeol can’t figure out why, until halfway through the song, Jongdae yells out for him.
“Kyungsoo, get in here,” Jongdae calls out, waving an arm at him. “Or I’ll start dancing! Save everyone the trauma of that.” He grins when the rest of the inmates just start cheering at that. “Come on, everyone wants you to sing!”
Kyungsoo growls when Baekhyun runs over to grab him and Chanyeol’s laugh is cut off when Baekhyun grabs him with his other hand.
“That’s sad,” Kyungsoo says when Jongdae tells them about Chanyeol’s family.
Baekhyun and Jongdae exchange looks as they help Kyungsoo put the trays away. “Feelings Jar,” Baekhyun whispers.
“It is sad,” Kyungsoo insists. “It’s hard enough being in here, but it sucks when your family doesn’t support you. It shouldn’t matter that you’ve made bad decisions. They’re your family.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Baekhyun says, handing over the last bowl to Kyungsoo. “I don’t talk to my family either and I’m fine.”
“You still have your brother,” Jongdae points out. He puts an arm around Baekhyun from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder. “And you chose to stop talking to your parents. Chanyeol didn’t get to do that. They just cut off all contact with him.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at when Baekhyun pats Jongdae’s hand. “He seems better off.”
“And he has us now,” Baekhyun adds. “We’re his family.”
“It’s not the same,” Jongdae says sighing. “Plus this is his first Christmas in here. He’s allowed to feel sad and lonely.”
“No, he’s allowed to feel sad. He’s not allowed to feel lonely,” Baekhyun says. “Why are we here if we can’t help each other with the loneliness?”
“We should do something for him,” Kyungsoo says. “To take his mind off it.”
“Awwwww.” Baekhyun stretches it out loudly, grinning at him. “Mama Soo to the rescue.”
“Feelings Jar!” Jongdae proclaims.
Kyungsoo stares at them. “What did you just call me?”
“Where are you taking me?”
“We’re trapped in a building,” Jongdae says, steering Chanyeol forward. “Why are you so worried?”
“It’s visiting hours.” Chanyeol is confused but he doesn’t resist as Jongdae hurries him along. “Your mother and brother will be here soon.”
“They’re coming tomorrow.”
Jongdae’s answer comes too quickly, but Chanyeol doesn’t think about it but he’s figured out that they’re heading towards the kitchen and he relaxes. “Why are we heading to the kitchen?” When Jongdae doesn’t say anything, he just sighs and lets himself be pushed forward.
When they get to the kitchen, it’s empty.
“Are we allowed to be in here when Kyungsoo isn’t around?” Chanyeol asks. “Because I-”
“Merry Christmas!” Baekhyun pops up from behind one of the steel tables and throws a handful of tiny pieces of paper in the air.
Chanyeol watches as they slowly fall around him. “What is that?”
“Homemade confetti,” Baekhyun answers, reaching out to dust off the pieces that landed in Chanyeol’s hair.
“Ugh.” Kyungsoo appears next to him and scowls. “You’re cleaning that up.”
Chanyeol stares at them, confused. “What’s going on?”
“This is the Christmas party,” Jongdae says, nudging Chanyeol until all four of them are gathered near the middle of the kitchen.
“But…” Chanyeol blinks. “We had the Christmas party.”
“This is your Christmas party,” Baekhyun says, patting the spot on the floor next to him. “Come sit.”
Chanyeol sits down next to him, still feeling a little dazed. “What happened to your family visits?”
“My brother couldn’t make it,” Baekhyun answers cheerfully. “I talked to him this morning. He said he’d try to make it for New Year’s and if not, then definitely in February because he has vacation time.”
“And my mom and brother are coming tomorrow,” Jongdae replies. “There’s some big family dinner and it seemed silly to make them miss the whole thing just to see me for an hour in here. Kyungsoo’s boytoy is coming to see him on New Year’s instead.”
Chanyeol gives them doubtful looks. “So this all just magically happened?”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “It’s fine,” he says, handing Jongdae a cup. “He’s in this area during the holidays so it doesn’t make a difference if he waits an extra week.”
“He,” Baekhyun echoes, curling his fingers around the cup Kyungsoo hands him. “Are you ever going to tell us who he is?”
“No.” Kyungsoo joins the three of them on the floor after handing Chanyeol his own cup.
Chanyeol peers at his cup. “Cocoa?”
“With marshmallows,” Jongdae says, giving Baekhyun a glare when he leans over to look into his cup.
“Hey, how come Jongdae has more marshmallows?” Baekhyun demands.
“Because he’s my favourite,” Kyungsoo snaps. “I didn’t count them. I just grabbed a bunch and threw them in.” He rolls his eyes as Jongdae fishes out a few marshmallows from his cup with his spoon and transfers them to Baekhyun’s cup.
“What’s wrong?” Jongdae gives Chanyeol a puzzled look. “We know it’s not much, but Kyungsoo also saved us some of the fudge the volunteers brought in last week. It’s kind of-”
“You didn’t have to do this,” Chanyeol interrupts. “I was fine. I am fine. I had a good time yesterday. You should be spending Christmas with your family.”
“We are,” Baekhyun says. “I don’t know what I’d do in here without Jongdae and Kyungsoo. And now you.”
Jongdae reaches out to pat Chanyeol on the knee. “We know it’s not the same as real family, but makeshift families can be good too...”
“Don’t worry, newbie,” Kyungsoo says. “We’ve got you.”
Chanyeol grins as he nudges Baekhyun next to him. “Feelings Jar,” he says and Baekhyun laughs. Chanyeol holds out his cup. “To prison family.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You guys are such losers,” he says, but he lifts up his cup to touch it against Chanyeol’s cup.
[Inmate no. 21099219 enters at 3:00 P.M.]
Christmas was good. I miss my family a lot during the holiday season. Even though they visit, it's just…it's different. But I have Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. And Baekhyun. I don't know what I would have done my first few months here if I didn't have Baekhyun. He was put in here a week before me so we were both new. It's not easy in here. It's not maximum-security prison but it's still prison. I know that what I did was stupid, infinitely stupid. Because now I'll always be someone who was in prison. But then I think about how if I hadn't been infinitely stupid, I would have never have met Baekhyun.
What? No, I don't have long left in here. Neither does Baekhyun. We finish our sentences around the same time too.
Yeah. That's good. [PAUSE]
New Year's resolution? Hmm. I'm not sure. [PAUSE] Read more. Try to beat my record of how long Kyungsoo can be around me before he loses his temper. Stop stealing Sehun's bubble gum. Umm, tell Baekhyun.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, that last one's overdue.
[Inmate no. 21099219 leaves at 3:13 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 29190506 enters at 3:15 P.M.]
Hey! How was your Christmas?
Wow. That's making me hungry. Did your daughter like the dollhouse?
[LAUGHS] Yeah, I bet.
Christmas here was good. Chanyeol was a little sad so we had our own Christmas party, just the four of us. It was nice. I was hiding in the bathroom my first Christmas here. [LAUGHS] Jongdae found me and I was crying about how I missed my brother and how stupid I felt. It's okay in here, but it's harder around Christmas time. I guess…I don't know, I didn't want Chanyeol to feel that way. Back then Jongdae and I only had each other but Chanyeol has three of us.
Yeah, they are. It’s like having a family here.
New Year's resolutions? Okay, let's see. I should actually start doing my job at the library instead of just bothering Jongdae. Uhh…try to figure out what I'm going to do when I get out of here. I probably can't go back to my old job.
[LAUGHS] No, it's definitely not a good idea. And uhh, figure some stuff out with Jongdae. [PAUSE] I'm pretty sure I've gone over my time.
No, I don't have anything to add.
Okay, see you next week.
[Inmate no. 29190506 leaves at 3:38 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 12399102 enters at 3:40 P.M.]
Didn't I tell you guys I wanted to be scheduled after Jongdae? How come Baekhyun always has so much to say?
You guys were talking about New Year's resolutions? That makes sense. Baekhyun needs a lot of self-improvement.
[PULLS OUT FOLDED PAPER]
Today's dinner menu is-
No, I have no New Year's resolutions. I don't see the point of making promises you're just going to break in a day. Now as I was saying, today's dinner menu is: chicken stew, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables and dessert is fruit.
What? No, I really have no resolutions. If you want to better yourself, just do it. There’s no need for a grand proclamation.
Off the top of my head? Okay. Try not to kill Jongdae and Baekhyun and Chanyeol. That's my resolution. [PAUSE]
Can I go? Great. [Inmate stands up but does not leave]
Umm. I'm going to let my mom visit me. I keep telling her not to come because I don't want her to see me in here. Chanyeol misses his family, he wants to see them even though they sound awful. My mom is great and she wants to come see me, I don't know. Jongdae’s been telling me to get over myself so that's what I'm going to do. Umm, okay. Bye.
[Inmate no. 12399102 leaves at 3:54 P.M.]
[Inmate no. 72119129 enters at 4:01 P.M.]
Hey! Happy New Year! How was your Christmas?
That sounds like fun!
My Christmas? It was good. It was really good. I spent Christmas day with Kyungsoo, Jongdae and Baekhyun. We were sharing best and worst Christmases, although I couldn’t really think of a best one. My parents didn’t make a big deal about Christmas, and if my sister and I did something wrong in December we didn’t get any gifts. Once my dad had to go on a business trip and he took my mom with him. That was a nice Christmas. This Christmas was nice too. I’ve never celebrated Christmas with people I really like. Except for my sister. [PAUSE] Sorry. I don’t really have anything to say. Christmas was good.
What? New Year’s resolutions? Hmm. I want to learn a new trade while I’m here, so I’m not lost when I get out of here. New and reformed Chanyeol! A new straight path to follow. Without fire. [PAUSE] Have I gone over my time?
[LAUGHS] I can keep going? You’re sure? Okay. New Year’s resolutions, right? I think…I feel okay over here. With the three of them, you know? I always felt like I had to try really hard to make friends, or to please my family or- just for anything. But Kyungsoo and the rest of them, I don’t have to try so hard. Jongdae laughs at all my lame jokes, Baekhyun does thing where he plays with my ears when he’s trying to figure something out and Kyungsoo…well. He’s Kyungsoo. The other day he told me I was last place on his blacklist ranking. I think he was trying to be nice. So I just want to figure out how to continue feeling okay with myself. [SMILES] I’m done now. Thanks for letting me go over.
[Inmate no. 72119129 leaves at 4:21 P.M.]