smiley face: epilogue
smiley face: epilogue
They communicate by means of notes in borrowed books.
a/n: so yeah finally posting it on here yoohooooo
--
Oh Sehun.
Luhan grips his pen tightly and scribbles the name out on his paper. Damn, that's the fifth scribble on his paper. On the same damn paper he's been studying for over an hour. And he's been thinking of the same damned person ever since he laid eyes on his messy notes. Besides all that, the test--which is forty percent of his grade--is tomorrow.
Damn it.
His phone beeps and vibrates, startling him out of his thoughts. Luhan decides to ignore it, but his gut is telling him that it was Sehun who's texting. (If it was Baekhyun and his other friends, he wouldn't have answered.) So he peers at his phone and, sure enough, it's his favorite person in the world.
His best buddy, his reading friend, his bubble tea companion: Oh Sehun.
Four years younger and not majoring in anything, he lives in the now rather than thinking of his future. He does what he wants when he wants. A little impulsive and sassy ("I am not sassy."), Sehun is quite sour to people he dislikes; but surprisingly gentle towards the people he adores.
Luhan likes to think that Sehun adores him.
Chinese place tomorrow? Sehun's message flashes on his phone screen.
The way his heart flutters at the invitation alerts Luhan, once again, about his troublesome feelings for the minor ("I'm not a minor. I'm almost twenty."). He drops his forehead on his wrinkled notes, a long breath escaping his lips. Oh man, oh man. He thinks he knows what he's feeling, but how can he be sure? Maybe it's just infatuation. It's the first time in a long time since he acquired a book buddy after all. So maybe it is just infatuation.
Luhaaaaaaaan, Sehun sends him.
What time? Luhan replies back. He feels the smile on his face and quickly wipes it off; thinking that his feelings may come off as the pedo-hyung. They've been meeting up regularly for about seven months now; coffee, dinner, breakfast, studying, lunch, movies, etc. It also helps that Sehun's university is close to Luhan's. (Oh god, maybe Luhan is a creep.) And within those few months, Luhan had grown attached to Sehun.
Yet he doesn't know what kind of attachment he harbors for the little one.
5. I have classes tomorrow remember? Sehun sends him. Luhan hears his voice as he reads the text, imagining the teasing smile on Sehun's face.
Sounds good then, Luhan replies in his phone. I've gotta study for a test. Text u later.
It doesn't take more than five seconds for Sehun to reply. Alright son. good luck :)
Luhan rolls his eyes. Sehun sometimes calls him son and he doesn't understand why. When he asked, Sehun explained that it was because Luhan was shorter in stature; the latter argued that he and Sehun were the same height. Sehun merely laughed and pinched his cheek.
He sighs. He should study. Failing the test would do him no good.
--
"So how was your test?" Sehun asks the next day.
The cool season is finally transitioning into a warmer season, but Sehun still wore a thick scarf around his neck like Luhan. His hair is back in its original color, a dark brown, and if people don't look close enough, they can be mistaken as siblings.
"It was hard," exhales Luhan as he plops down on the seat beside Sehun. "I was distracted the whole time last night."
"I figured it was my fault, so I'll treat you today," Sehun says.
Luhan gapes. Holy shit; does Sehun know that he was thinking about him the entire time he reviewed his notes? Oh my god, was he too obvious? Hell, Luhan--
"What did you say?" he blurts out, flustered and surprised. His eyes are wide, almost like a deer-in-headlights manner (Sehun calls him a deer sometimes), and Sehun laughs.
"Relax, Luhan," chuckles Sehun. "Remember I asked you out last night?"
"What?" Asked me out? When? Thoughts like these are rampaging through Luhan's bewildered mind while Sehun looks at him oddly.
"Nevermind I guess. Man, that test must've been tragic if you're acting like this, son," Sehun says as he shakes his head with a smile. He averts his gaze to the wall next to them, scanning the menu even though he knows what they're both going to order. "So you want the usual, yeah?"
With his heart gradually calming down, Luhan nods his head in a daze. He's still in panic. How could Sehun know that he was the cause of his distraction last night? That's next to impossible! And asking him out last night? That's freaking crazy.
"Luhan," Sehun flicks his temple lightly and Luhan turns his head in response.
"What?"
"I called your name three times." Sehun squints at him worriedly. "Son, are you okay?"
"Can you not call me son?"
"No way," Sehun smiles, putting his elbows on the table. "I already ordered. Well, not really. They saw us and just asked if we wanted the usual."
"I like them," Luhan says, stretching his arms in front of him. He pushes his books and notebooks on the other half of the table, where Sehun's books and notebooks lay. At the same time, he tries to push his former thoughts away. Sehun's probably right; his test took a toll on him.
"Because they're Chinese like you?"
He elbows Sehun and laughs. "That, and because they're nice people."
"You know who else is nice?"
"Stop it, Sehun."
"Me," Sehun says, pointing to himself. He grins widely at Luhan--and that's when he notices the distance between them. Sehun is too close, way way close, so Luhan eases back with a strained smile and an aching heart. Distances were never a problem until recently, when Luhan started thinking about the intricate feelings he had for Sehun.
Sehun might have felt the awkwardness seeping through, but he clearly didn't show it. Instead, he begins a conversation of the next series they are about to take on. The B series.
Talking about books is their comfort zone, Luhan later realizes as they chat over the previous series they conquered.
He wonders if Sehun already knows this.
--
When Kai finally had the balls to ask Kyungsoo out, Kyungsoo was happy.
And Luhan was confused.
"So how do you guys feel about each other again?" Luhan had asked, swiveling his spoon from Kai to Kyungsoo, then back again.
"Should we really talk about it right now?" Kai replied in exasperation. Kyungsoo was busy washing the dishes while Luhan ate the yogurt he brought from his apartment.
"Well, we're happy when we're together," Kyungsoo answered casually. Kai covered his (reddening) ears and excused himself out of the dining area.
"Isn't he a little awkward," Luhan mused aloud, quite entertained at the shyness Kai portrayed.
"He's being cute," Kyungsoo smiled over his shoulder.
"Stoooop," Kai yelled from the other room. Luhan snickered, pulling a leg to his chest as he continued to eat his yogurt.
"Back to my question," Luhan carried on, aimlessly digging his spoon into the nearly emptied plastic cup. He watched Kyungsoo absently, thinking about a certain someone.
"Why are you interested?" Kyungsoo questioned as he turned the faucet off. He shifted around, wiping his hands on his jeans as he did so. "Are you thinking of Smiley Face--"
"His name is Sehun and I don't like him like that, okay," Luhan cut, shoving a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.
Kyungsoo gave him a shrewd look. "Right, okay. Whatever you say."
"I'm dead serious, Kyungsoo. Maybe I just like hanging around him because we share the same interests," Luhan said, finishing his small cup of yogurt, "and maybe I like hanging around him because he's hilarious unlike you guys."
"Excuse me, but we've got the funniest people in our group," Kyungsoo interjected with a chuckle. He shook his head and slid into the chair opposite from Luhan's. "But seriously, Lu. What's up? Why are you suddenly asking about this?"
"I'm just curious," he replied with a shrug.
"Don't your books talk about love and stuff like that?" Kyungsoo asked. He furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought that's what you read about all the time."
"Not all the time." Probably half the time, Luhan thought while he chewed on his spoon. "Plus, they're fiction. So they talk about the ideal kind of love. Not actual love."
Kyungsoo smiled at him, somewhat sadly. He didn't say anything for a couple of moments. "I'll tell you when I experience it," he finally said, tone quiet.
Luhan was certain he didn't want Kai to hear.
--
"What do you think of love?" Sehun asks him a few days later. They're walking around Seoul in lighter coats; the breeze is a little warmer, and the night is still young. They finished eating dinner at McDonald's (Luhan's treat) and decided to burn some calories by walking (it was actually Sehun's decision).
"I think it's a wonderful thing," Luhan replies slowly. His heart stutters when Sehun walks closer to him, and he tries not to be too conscious of the warmth emitting from his body. "What about you?"
"You," Sehun says and Luhan bends his head down to hide his warm cheeks. The younger male adds (or finishes?) his thought, "think that it's wonderful too?"
"Um, yeah," Luhan says. He nearly slaps his forehead with his hand because obviously he's overreacting. He feels like they're back in those first few weeks of summer--when they were only starting to get to know each other.
"What do you think of Sehun?"
"You?" Luhan asks in confusion. Sehun nods with a small smile, dark eyes never glancing his way. "I think you're . . ." he trails off in thought, carefully trying to pick out his next words, ". . . really caring and funny. And cool."
His gaze slides towards him and his lips quirk up teasingly. "Not handsome?"
"That, too," Luhan admits sheepishly, not knowing that Sehun was (partially) joking around. The atmosphere around them is a bit thick--with what, Luhan doesn't know. But he gathers the courage to ask, "What do you think of Luhan?"
"You?" Sehun echoes, amusement dancing in his eyes while he lets his eyes travel on the bright lamp posts they pass. He waits for Luhan to nod before he continues. "I like hyung. He's adorable and responsible. I think you're a dork. But a cool dork."
"Thanks," Luhan laughs, lightly punching Sehun's arm. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches his steps silently. Again Luhan ponders about what he feels for the male beside him and attempts to organize his weird feelings. Infatuation? Crush? Love? It can't be. What about . . . really, really attached?
"I have something to tell you," Sehun says, out of the blue. Luhan stops walking when he notices that Sehun isn't walking beside him anymore. He looks up and raises his eyebrows, unaware of the words Sehun spoke.
"What was that?"
"Luhan," Sehun pauses again, eyes looking somewhere else before focusing on the older male. He closes and opens his fists, and moves a step closer. "I think I like you."
--
"Luhan, you can't hide from him forever," Kyungsoo tells Luhan, handing him a can of soda. It's their semester break, kind of like a spring break, and Luhan had successfully dodged Sehun for at least two weeks now (with the help of Kyungsoo and his other friends).
"I fucking told you he was a rapist," Baekhyun adds as he aggressively pushes on the buttons of the video game controller.
"He is not a rapist, retard," Luhan defends, hugging the pillow Kyungsoo lent him. "He just toldmehelikesme. And I don't know what to do."
"What did you say?" Baekhyun asks, briefly glancing over his shoulder and trying to strain his hearing senses.
"I made some food," Lay announces as he puts two sizzling dishes on the small coffee table. Baekhyun immediately pauses the game and gathers around the table. Kyungsoo helps Luhan ("Kyungsoo, I'm not disabled.") move down on the floor while Lay grabs plates and forks.
"This looks delicious!" exclaims Baekhyun, pounding his hands excitedly on his lap. He snatches the fork out of Lay's hands and mutters a quick thanks, digging into the dishes like he hasn't eaten in days.
"I feel bad though," continues Luhan, murmuring to Kyungsoo who nods his head understandingly. "He's really nice and understanding, and I feel so bad avoiding him but I don't know what to do."
"Sort out your feelings first," Lay suggests, sitting across Baekhyun with folded legs. He puts a small portion of food in his plate. "How do you feel for Smiley Face?"
"Sehun," Luhan replies as he digs in as well. "His name is Sehun." He takes a bite of Lay's magnificent cooking. "I guess, I like him? I don't know."
"You're stupid," Baekhyun comments. "It's sooo obvious that you like that kid."
"Kid?" Lay echoes. He pushes his food around, looking between Baekhyun and Luhan. "What do you mean 'kid'?"
"Didn't I tell you that Sehun is four years younger? Or was it three?" Kyungsoo asks with a chuckle. "You're so forgetful sometimes, Lay."
"Oh, right," Lay says as realization hits him. He looks at Luhan and stretches his leg to nudge Luhan's thigh. "Maybe you should try it out."
"Alright, Lay, cough it up. What did you smoke today?" Baekhyun jokes with a straight face and Lay smiles in return, shaking his head.
"Maybe I should," Luhan says.
"Wait a goddamn minute," Baekhyun says in disbelief. Lay merely claps his hands in support. Kyungsoo lets out a wolf-whistle. Luhan reaches behind him to grab his phone on the sofa.
"What the hell are you doing?" Baekhyun asks, already knowing what Luhan's going to do.
"I'm going to try it out," Luhan answers anyway. He fiddles with his phone and reads the messages Sehun sent him a few weeks ago (Sehun stopped sending texts to him after a week of no response from Luhan). He feels his fingers turn cold and looks up at Lay. "But what if he doesn't reply because he hates me?"
"Feelings can't escalate that quickly, right?" Lay asks.
"I'll take you to a bar sometime, Lay. You'll learn that things can escalate quickly. And please don't give me any shitty excuse like my apartment is on fire or anything like that," Baekhyun tells him seriously.
"But that was real. My apartment was really on fire," Lay pouts.
"Please don't," Baekhyun repeats, trying to hold in his laughter. (He finds it hilarious that Lay only saved his cat and his notebook from the small fire.)
"That's not helping my matter at all," Luhan cries, staring helplessly at his phone. It abruptly vibrates in his hand and Luhan almost drops it onto his plate. He checks the message in a hurry, reading Sehun's text.
Luhan, are you okay? :(
It would be an understatement if he said that his heart pulsed erratically in his chest.
"What did he say, whadidhesay?" Baekhyun asks, leaning towards Luhan and Kyungsoo. He sees the expression on Luhan's face, something akin to relief and admiration mixed together, and thinks that perhaps Sehun isn't actually a bad guy.
"Sehun's worried about Luhan," sings Kyungsoo, high fiving a grinning Lay. Baekhyun leans back on his ass and grabs a few more bites.
"Well, anyone would be worried about Luhan." Baekhyun crawls back to his previous spot in front of the television and grabs his controller, smiling over his shoulder with a knowing glint in his eye. "Of course, maybe Sehun worries about you the most."
--
"Thanks," Luhan mumbles a few days later, reaching for the bubble tea Sehun bought for him.
The latter hums in return, straw already shoved between his teeth. He chews on them thoughtfully while they walk quietly side-by-side. Their shoulders don't touch, a discreet reminder that they're not completely comfortable with one another yet.
"So you were avoiding me?" asks Sehun. His voice, as usual, holds no emotion and Luhan finds it hard to decipher what the younger is feeling--again.
"I didn't know what else to do," Luhan replies softly. He holds his bubble tea with both his hands, clasping his fingers tightly around the material.
"You didn't have to do anything," Sehun tells him after a few moments. They don't know where they're heading, not consciously anyway, and so they just let the sidewalk take them wherever. "I'll be fine if you reject me," he adds when they reach a turn. "It's not like it would affect our friendship."
Thud, thud, thud, his heart sings.
Luhan bites his straw, loosely wrapped in his thoughts. He doesn't know what to do, not then and not now, but he doesn't want to be stuck in stagnant water. He wants his relationship with Sehun to flow easily, like it used to--before their feelings began to be in the way. He didn't expect Sehun to develop any feelings for him, but he didn't expect to develop any feelings for the younger either.
He glances at Sehun.
Luhan blinks and stares; he appears deep in his thoughts too. He doesn't know what Sehun is thinking of, but the way he licks his lips and scrunches his forehead lets Luhan think that Sehun isn't having pleasant thoughts.
"Did you mean it?"
Sehun raises his eyebrows in question, surprised that Luhan actually talked. He made a bet with his alter ego that Luhan wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the day (or his life). "What?"
"Did you mean it?" he repeats, gaze moving around every time Sehun catches it.
As if a light bulb goes off in his head, Sehun clucks his tongue in understanding. "If I said yes, what would you say?"
Luhan stops in his trails and so does Sehun; they face each other on the sidewalk, with Sehun watching Luhan intently and Luhan biting his lower lip in contemplation. Should he do it? Or should he not? What is he to Sehun? What is Sehun to him?
With a crazily beating heart, Luhan lifts his gaze to meet his dark eyes. "If I said that I reciprocate your feelings, what would you say?"
--
epilogue of epilogue
Luhan has been studying for his test for nearly two hours, yet here he is, stuck on page number five fifty-six. He tries to put his thoughts back on track, he really tried, but he can't.
Oh Sehun.
The name appears once again on the top of his paper, on the edge of his text book, all around his messy notes. Whenever he daydreams, Luhan earlier found out, he only daydreams about one person.
His name is Oh Sehun; four years younger and not majoring in anything, he lives in the now rather than thinking of his future. He does what he wants when he wants. A little impulsive and sassy, Sehun is quite sour to people he dislikes; but surprisingly gentle towards the people he adores.
And now Luhan knows that Sehun adores him.
His phone beeps and vibrates, and Luhan glances at his phone screen, a smile lighting up his face.
Good night Chinese Guy. do well on the test. im treating u to dinner tomorrow :)
Luhan hides his smile using his pillow and tosses his phone on his night desk after sending a quick reply.
thanks Smiley Face 愛
<<
They communicate by means of notes in borrowed books.
a/n: so yeah finally posting it on here yoohooooo
--
Oh Sehun.
Luhan grips his pen tightly and scribbles the name out on his paper. Damn, that's the fifth scribble on his paper. On the same damn paper he's been studying for over an hour. And he's been thinking of the same damned person ever since he laid eyes on his messy notes. Besides all that, the test--which is forty percent of his grade--is tomorrow.
Damn it.
His phone beeps and vibrates, startling him out of his thoughts. Luhan decides to ignore it, but his gut is telling him that it was Sehun who's texting. (If it was Baekhyun and his other friends, he wouldn't have answered.) So he peers at his phone and, sure enough, it's his favorite person in the world.
His best buddy, his reading friend, his bubble tea companion: Oh Sehun.
Four years younger and not majoring in anything, he lives in the now rather than thinking of his future. He does what he wants when he wants. A little impulsive and sassy ("I am not sassy."), Sehun is quite sour to people he dislikes; but surprisingly gentle towards the people he adores.
Luhan likes to think that Sehun adores him.
Chinese place tomorrow? Sehun's message flashes on his phone screen.
The way his heart flutters at the invitation alerts Luhan, once again, about his troublesome feelings for the minor ("I'm not a minor. I'm almost twenty."). He drops his forehead on his wrinkled notes, a long breath escaping his lips. Oh man, oh man. He thinks he knows what he's feeling, but how can he be sure? Maybe it's just infatuation. It's the first time in a long time since he acquired a book buddy after all. So maybe it is just infatuation.
Luhaaaaaaaan, Sehun sends him.
What time? Luhan replies back. He feels the smile on his face and quickly wipes it off; thinking that his feelings may come off as the pedo-hyung. They've been meeting up regularly for about seven months now; coffee, dinner, breakfast, studying, lunch, movies, etc. It also helps that Sehun's university is close to Luhan's. (Oh god, maybe Luhan is a creep.) And within those few months, Luhan had grown attached to Sehun.
Yet he doesn't know what kind of attachment he harbors for the little one.
5. I have classes tomorrow remember? Sehun sends him. Luhan hears his voice as he reads the text, imagining the teasing smile on Sehun's face.
Sounds good then, Luhan replies in his phone. I've gotta study for a test. Text u later.
It doesn't take more than five seconds for Sehun to reply. Alright son. good luck :)
Luhan rolls his eyes. Sehun sometimes calls him son and he doesn't understand why. When he asked, Sehun explained that it was because Luhan was shorter in stature; the latter argued that he and Sehun were the same height. Sehun merely laughed and pinched his cheek.
He sighs. He should study. Failing the test would do him no good.
--
"So how was your test?" Sehun asks the next day.
The cool season is finally transitioning into a warmer season, but Sehun still wore a thick scarf around his neck like Luhan. His hair is back in its original color, a dark brown, and if people don't look close enough, they can be mistaken as siblings.
"It was hard," exhales Luhan as he plops down on the seat beside Sehun. "I was distracted the whole time last night."
"I figured it was my fault, so I'll treat you today," Sehun says.
Luhan gapes. Holy shit; does Sehun know that he was thinking about him the entire time he reviewed his notes? Oh my god, was he too obvious? Hell, Luhan--
"What did you say?" he blurts out, flustered and surprised. His eyes are wide, almost like a deer-in-headlights manner (Sehun calls him a deer sometimes), and Sehun laughs.
"Relax, Luhan," chuckles Sehun. "Remember I asked you out last night?"
"What?" Asked me out? When? Thoughts like these are rampaging through Luhan's bewildered mind while Sehun looks at him oddly.
"Nevermind I guess. Man, that test must've been tragic if you're acting like this, son," Sehun says as he shakes his head with a smile. He averts his gaze to the wall next to them, scanning the menu even though he knows what they're both going to order. "So you want the usual, yeah?"
With his heart gradually calming down, Luhan nods his head in a daze. He's still in panic. How could Sehun know that he was the cause of his distraction last night? That's next to impossible! And asking him out last night? That's freaking crazy.
"Luhan," Sehun flicks his temple lightly and Luhan turns his head in response.
"What?"
"I called your name three times." Sehun squints at him worriedly. "Son, are you okay?"
"Can you not call me son?"
"No way," Sehun smiles, putting his elbows on the table. "I already ordered. Well, not really. They saw us and just asked if we wanted the usual."
"I like them," Luhan says, stretching his arms in front of him. He pushes his books and notebooks on the other half of the table, where Sehun's books and notebooks lay. At the same time, he tries to push his former thoughts away. Sehun's probably right; his test took a toll on him.
"Because they're Chinese like you?"
He elbows Sehun and laughs. "That, and because they're nice people."
"You know who else is nice?"
"Stop it, Sehun."
"Me," Sehun says, pointing to himself. He grins widely at Luhan--and that's when he notices the distance between them. Sehun is too close, way way close, so Luhan eases back with a strained smile and an aching heart. Distances were never a problem until recently, when Luhan started thinking about the intricate feelings he had for Sehun.
Sehun might have felt the awkwardness seeping through, but he clearly didn't show it. Instead, he begins a conversation of the next series they are about to take on. The B series.
Talking about books is their comfort zone, Luhan later realizes as they chat over the previous series they conquered.
He wonders if Sehun already knows this.
--
When Kai finally had the balls to ask Kyungsoo out, Kyungsoo was happy.
And Luhan was confused.
"So how do you guys feel about each other again?" Luhan had asked, swiveling his spoon from Kai to Kyungsoo, then back again.
"Should we really talk about it right now?" Kai replied in exasperation. Kyungsoo was busy washing the dishes while Luhan ate the yogurt he brought from his apartment.
"Well, we're happy when we're together," Kyungsoo answered casually. Kai covered his (reddening) ears and excused himself out of the dining area.
"Isn't he a little awkward," Luhan mused aloud, quite entertained at the shyness Kai portrayed.
"He's being cute," Kyungsoo smiled over his shoulder.
"Stoooop," Kai yelled from the other room. Luhan snickered, pulling a leg to his chest as he continued to eat his yogurt.
"Back to my question," Luhan carried on, aimlessly digging his spoon into the nearly emptied plastic cup. He watched Kyungsoo absently, thinking about a certain someone.
"Why are you interested?" Kyungsoo questioned as he turned the faucet off. He shifted around, wiping his hands on his jeans as he did so. "Are you thinking of Smiley Face--"
"His name is Sehun and I don't like him like that, okay," Luhan cut, shoving a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.
Kyungsoo gave him a shrewd look. "Right, okay. Whatever you say."
"I'm dead serious, Kyungsoo. Maybe I just like hanging around him because we share the same interests," Luhan said, finishing his small cup of yogurt, "and maybe I like hanging around him because he's hilarious unlike you guys."
"Excuse me, but we've got the funniest people in our group," Kyungsoo interjected with a chuckle. He shook his head and slid into the chair opposite from Luhan's. "But seriously, Lu. What's up? Why are you suddenly asking about this?"
"I'm just curious," he replied with a shrug.
"Don't your books talk about love and stuff like that?" Kyungsoo asked. He furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought that's what you read about all the time."
"Not all the time." Probably half the time, Luhan thought while he chewed on his spoon. "Plus, they're fiction. So they talk about the ideal kind of love. Not actual love."
Kyungsoo smiled at him, somewhat sadly. He didn't say anything for a couple of moments. "I'll tell you when I experience it," he finally said, tone quiet.
Luhan was certain he didn't want Kai to hear.
--
"What do you think of love?" Sehun asks him a few days later. They're walking around Seoul in lighter coats; the breeze is a little warmer, and the night is still young. They finished eating dinner at McDonald's (Luhan's treat) and decided to burn some calories by walking (it was actually Sehun's decision).
"I think it's a wonderful thing," Luhan replies slowly. His heart stutters when Sehun walks closer to him, and he tries not to be too conscious of the warmth emitting from his body. "What about you?"
"You," Sehun says and Luhan bends his head down to hide his warm cheeks. The younger male adds (or finishes?) his thought, "think that it's wonderful too?"
"Um, yeah," Luhan says. He nearly slaps his forehead with his hand because obviously he's overreacting. He feels like they're back in those first few weeks of summer--when they were only starting to get to know each other.
"What do you think of Sehun?"
"You?" Luhan asks in confusion. Sehun nods with a small smile, dark eyes never glancing his way. "I think you're . . ." he trails off in thought, carefully trying to pick out his next words, ". . . really caring and funny. And cool."
His gaze slides towards him and his lips quirk up teasingly. "Not handsome?"
"That, too," Luhan admits sheepishly, not knowing that Sehun was (partially) joking around. The atmosphere around them is a bit thick--with what, Luhan doesn't know. But he gathers the courage to ask, "What do you think of Luhan?"
"You?" Sehun echoes, amusement dancing in his eyes while he lets his eyes travel on the bright lamp posts they pass. He waits for Luhan to nod before he continues. "I like hyung. He's adorable and responsible. I think you're a dork. But a cool dork."
"Thanks," Luhan laughs, lightly punching Sehun's arm. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches his steps silently. Again Luhan ponders about what he feels for the male beside him and attempts to organize his weird feelings. Infatuation? Crush? Love? It can't be. What about . . . really, really attached?
"I have something to tell you," Sehun says, out of the blue. Luhan stops walking when he notices that Sehun isn't walking beside him anymore. He looks up and raises his eyebrows, unaware of the words Sehun spoke.
"What was that?"
"Luhan," Sehun pauses again, eyes looking somewhere else before focusing on the older male. He closes and opens his fists, and moves a step closer. "I think I like you."
--
"Luhan, you can't hide from him forever," Kyungsoo tells Luhan, handing him a can of soda. It's their semester break, kind of like a spring break, and Luhan had successfully dodged Sehun for at least two weeks now (with the help of Kyungsoo and his other friends).
"I fucking told you he was a rapist," Baekhyun adds as he aggressively pushes on the buttons of the video game controller.
"He is not a rapist, retard," Luhan defends, hugging the pillow Kyungsoo lent him. "He just toldmehelikesme. And I don't know what to do."
"What did you say?" Baekhyun asks, briefly glancing over his shoulder and trying to strain his hearing senses.
"I made some food," Lay announces as he puts two sizzling dishes on the small coffee table. Baekhyun immediately pauses the game and gathers around the table. Kyungsoo helps Luhan ("Kyungsoo, I'm not disabled.") move down on the floor while Lay grabs plates and forks.
"This looks delicious!" exclaims Baekhyun, pounding his hands excitedly on his lap. He snatches the fork out of Lay's hands and mutters a quick thanks, digging into the dishes like he hasn't eaten in days.
"I feel bad though," continues Luhan, murmuring to Kyungsoo who nods his head understandingly. "He's really nice and understanding, and I feel so bad avoiding him but I don't know what to do."
"Sort out your feelings first," Lay suggests, sitting across Baekhyun with folded legs. He puts a small portion of food in his plate. "How do you feel for Smiley Face?"
"Sehun," Luhan replies as he digs in as well. "His name is Sehun." He takes a bite of Lay's magnificent cooking. "I guess, I like him? I don't know."
"You're stupid," Baekhyun comments. "It's sooo obvious that you like that kid."
"Kid?" Lay echoes. He pushes his food around, looking between Baekhyun and Luhan. "What do you mean 'kid'?"
"Didn't I tell you that Sehun is four years younger? Or was it three?" Kyungsoo asks with a chuckle. "You're so forgetful sometimes, Lay."
"Oh, right," Lay says as realization hits him. He looks at Luhan and stretches his leg to nudge Luhan's thigh. "Maybe you should try it out."
"Alright, Lay, cough it up. What did you smoke today?" Baekhyun jokes with a straight face and Lay smiles in return, shaking his head.
"Maybe I should," Luhan says.
"Wait a goddamn minute," Baekhyun says in disbelief. Lay merely claps his hands in support. Kyungsoo lets out a wolf-whistle. Luhan reaches behind him to grab his phone on the sofa.
"What the hell are you doing?" Baekhyun asks, already knowing what Luhan's going to do.
"I'm going to try it out," Luhan answers anyway. He fiddles with his phone and reads the messages Sehun sent him a few weeks ago (Sehun stopped sending texts to him after a week of no response from Luhan). He feels his fingers turn cold and looks up at Lay. "But what if he doesn't reply because he hates me?"
"Feelings can't escalate that quickly, right?" Lay asks.
"I'll take you to a bar sometime, Lay. You'll learn that things can escalate quickly. And please don't give me any shitty excuse like my apartment is on fire or anything like that," Baekhyun tells him seriously.
"But that was real. My apartment was really on fire," Lay pouts.
"Please don't," Baekhyun repeats, trying to hold in his laughter. (He finds it hilarious that Lay only saved his cat and his notebook from the small fire.)
"That's not helping my matter at all," Luhan cries, staring helplessly at his phone. It abruptly vibrates in his hand and Luhan almost drops it onto his plate. He checks the message in a hurry, reading Sehun's text.
Luhan, are you okay? :(
It would be an understatement if he said that his heart pulsed erratically in his chest.
"What did he say, whadidhesay?" Baekhyun asks, leaning towards Luhan and Kyungsoo. He sees the expression on Luhan's face, something akin to relief and admiration mixed together, and thinks that perhaps Sehun isn't actually a bad guy.
"Sehun's worried about Luhan," sings Kyungsoo, high fiving a grinning Lay. Baekhyun leans back on his ass and grabs a few more bites.
"Well, anyone would be worried about Luhan." Baekhyun crawls back to his previous spot in front of the television and grabs his controller, smiling over his shoulder with a knowing glint in his eye. "Of course, maybe Sehun worries about you the most."
--
"Thanks," Luhan mumbles a few days later, reaching for the bubble tea Sehun bought for him.
The latter hums in return, straw already shoved between his teeth. He chews on them thoughtfully while they walk quietly side-by-side. Their shoulders don't touch, a discreet reminder that they're not completely comfortable with one another yet.
"So you were avoiding me?" asks Sehun. His voice, as usual, holds no emotion and Luhan finds it hard to decipher what the younger is feeling--again.
"I didn't know what else to do," Luhan replies softly. He holds his bubble tea with both his hands, clasping his fingers tightly around the material.
"You didn't have to do anything," Sehun tells him after a few moments. They don't know where they're heading, not consciously anyway, and so they just let the sidewalk take them wherever. "I'll be fine if you reject me," he adds when they reach a turn. "It's not like it would affect our friendship."
Thud, thud, thud, his heart sings.
Luhan bites his straw, loosely wrapped in his thoughts. He doesn't know what to do, not then and not now, but he doesn't want to be stuck in stagnant water. He wants his relationship with Sehun to flow easily, like it used to--before their feelings began to be in the way. He didn't expect Sehun to develop any feelings for him, but he didn't expect to develop any feelings for the younger either.
He glances at Sehun.
Luhan blinks and stares; he appears deep in his thoughts too. He doesn't know what Sehun is thinking of, but the way he licks his lips and scrunches his forehead lets Luhan think that Sehun isn't having pleasant thoughts.
"Did you mean it?"
Sehun raises his eyebrows in question, surprised that Luhan actually talked. He made a bet with his alter ego that Luhan wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the day (or his life). "What?"
"Did you mean it?" he repeats, gaze moving around every time Sehun catches it.
As if a light bulb goes off in his head, Sehun clucks his tongue in understanding. "If I said yes, what would you say?"
Luhan stops in his trails and so does Sehun; they face each other on the sidewalk, with Sehun watching Luhan intently and Luhan biting his lower lip in contemplation. Should he do it? Or should he not? What is he to Sehun? What is Sehun to him?
With a crazily beating heart, Luhan lifts his gaze to meet his dark eyes. "If I said that I reciprocate your feelings, what would you say?"
--
epilogue of epilogue
Luhan has been studying for his test for nearly two hours, yet here he is, stuck on page number five fifty-six. He tries to put his thoughts back on track, he really tried, but he can't.
Oh Sehun.
The name appears once again on the top of his paper, on the edge of his text book, all around his messy notes. Whenever he daydreams, Luhan earlier found out, he only daydreams about one person.
His name is Oh Sehun; four years younger and not majoring in anything, he lives in the now rather than thinking of his future. He does what he wants when he wants. A little impulsive and sassy, Sehun is quite sour to people he dislikes; but surprisingly gentle towards the people he adores.
And now Luhan knows that Sehun adores him.
His phone beeps and vibrates, and Luhan glances at his phone screen, a smile lighting up his face.
Good night Chinese Guy. do well on the test. im treating u to dinner tomorrow :)
Luhan hides his smile using his pillow and tosses his phone on his night desk after sending a quick reply.
thanks Smiley Face 愛
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