027 - video

[cauchemal]

[Filtered to anyone Mal encountered during the flood. She's clearly been crying and is distraught beyond words. If you look carefully, you can see that she's clutching her totem in one hand.]

That was not me. I didn't-I'm not like that, I'm not. She was a monster. I don't understand-

[She breaks off and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.I'

Comments

[Private] back! playing catch up! :D

[naughtbutlife]

Mal, anyone who has ever spoken more than two words with you knows that you are not that woman. Please, madam, do not weep.

Where are you?

Re: spam-type-thingy

[naughtbutlife]

"Probably not forgiveness, madam, but you are not cold-hearted," Angelica replied softly. "It is not wrong to wish for a little vengeance - something to make up for being so wronged - but this sort of constant and bitter torment...aye, that would be too much to wish on anyone."

She paused, though very briefly. "And you, Mal, are a woman above holding a grudge against someone who suffers so profoundly."

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[cauchemal]

"Am I?" Mal said, a little sadly. "I am still angry; I still do not think I could-could love him again." She paused, wondering if Dick had said anything to Angelica yet, but then decided she wasn't going to be the one to bring it up first. "But I can't hate him anymore. Not now, not knowing what he carries in his mind. That I would take from him, if I could."

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[naughtbutlife]

"You are," replied Angelica firmly. "The proof is here before me now: you cannot love him as you once did, but you would deliver him from his own torment, if you could. You need not be a saint, madam, but I know you are more than capable of not letting your anger and hate consume you.

"Could you love again," she continued, "after loving so deeply and being betrayed? Do you think you could?"

Re: spam-type-thingy

[cauchemal]

You could have heard a pin drop and bounce two or three times in the silence before Mal finally answered.

"Anything is possible," she said quietly, not quite looking at Angelica.

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[naughtbutlife]

Angelica kept her gaze on the other woman, hands folded in her lap. "Do you care for him, madam?" she asked, voice gentle. "As himself, and not for his face alone? When you see him, do you see only him?"

She inhaled sharply. "Should I be worried, Mal?"

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[cauchemal]

Mal let out a small, dry laugh, which seemed to surprise even her. "No more worried than one ever is in these matters," she said. She drew a deep breath and forced herself to look up at Angelica. "Had he looked like anyone else, I might not have noticed him to begin with, but his face matters far less to me than his heart."

Re: spam-type-thingy

[naughtbutlife]

She nodded, though her brow remained furrowed. "You must know my reservations about this," she said softly. "It was not so long ago that you were convinced he was someone else....not too long-removed from all that...unpleasantness either. I cannot say this is the wisest of ideas."

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[cauchemal]

"I guessed that you would say as much," Mal said. "And I am fairly certain that nothing I say may convince you otherwise." She made a rueful face. "I expect Dick was none too pleased himself, when he spoke to you."

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[naughtbutlife]

She merely shrugged her shoulders. "No, he was not pleased," she said simply, as if that was all she cared to say on the matter. "Mal, I must be honest with you, and say that I fear that this is ill-advised. I worry that you may lose yourself in anger and do something you might regret at sight of that familiar face. I worry that your attachment might not the best path for you to take in order to properly heal and move towards graduation. I worry that you are not yet able to distinguish between what is real and what is a dream, and I worry that this will not help Billy Costigan either

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[cauchemal]

"I know," Mal said. "Believe me, I am not rushing headlong into this like a green girl. We're both damaged, he and I-even I can see it. Perhaps ... it may be that's what drew us together." A small, sad smile. "I know it can't last forever. But I do care for him, and I-I think I am ready to no longer be quite so alone."

Re: spam-type-thingy

[naughtbutlife]

Angelica inhaled slowly, gaze focused somewhere across the room, then nodded as she exhaled. "If this begins to do more harm than good, then it must end -- that is all there is for it. He needs it not, nor do you. Especially not you. However, I'll not stand in the way of love, for I firmly believe such a thing can save someone. I want you to feel something more than bitterness and remorse, and if being with him does just that, then I cannot truly object."

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[cauchemal]

Mal bowed her head. "Thank you. I had hoped you might understand. I promise you, if it looks as if it will hurt us more than it helps, I will end it."

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[naughtbutlife]

"I am placing a tremendous amount of trust in you, Mal," she replied. "I trust you to think clearly when you are with him, and to settle matters if it does begin to harm you both. I would like...well, I suppose I would like a bit more openness between the two of us. As your warden I feel as though I should monitor this relationship, but as a woman who loathes the thought of people prying into her own private life I admit that I do hate the thought of invading your privacy.

"So!" She sat up straight, seemingly resolved in the matter. "Openness. No more sneaking about, Mal. You may pursue this relationship as you wish, but please talk with me. I promise not to delve into certain things, but I'll not risk your own chance at freedom for this."

Re: spam-type-thingy

[cauchemal]

Mal nodded, looking visibly relieved. "I promise. Thank you, Angelica." She smiled a little. "I gave up on sneaking around behind my mother's back when I was sixteen and I would just as soon not do it again."

Re: spam-type-thingy

[naughtbutlife]

"Aye, and I would much happier if I could avoid constantly prying into your romantic life like a gossipy matron," Angelica agreed amusedly. "Less gossipy matron and more concerned warden, anyway."