Getting my hopes up

[carnivalnights]

Sometimes, when one part of your life is a mess, the other parts do not seem to even matter. Happiness is never consistent. We always need sadness to counterbalance; we need the bad to truly appreciate the good. But in order to feel content, there has to be one or more parts of our lives going well at the same time. Unfortunately for me, this is

Comments

[zahrimsthoughts]

Aaah sweetheart we have our good times and bad times, these times are sometimes longer and shorter tan others. you know even in my darkest days its the thought that I might miss just one of those 'good days' that keeps me there, still going

[carnivalnights]

Meh, yeah, I think what keeps me going is that I keep praying my life will get better. It has not yet, but I keep hoping. I seem to be "riding out the bad times" for years on end. I am getting too restless for this kind of waiting.

Yes, Jade comes first, of course. I understand. I wish things were different too because we had some really good conversations. I think we should try to arrange times. Let me know about times that are good for you. And I'd love for you to call me. :) I have not heard your voice in so many years!

It is terrible here in terms of work. They say it is supposed to get "getting better" but we really have not seen that yet at all. I find myself applying for jobs I really, really do not want out of sheer panic and frustration. It really is horrible and it seems to be pretty much worldwide.

*hugs* Do let me know about the times that are good for you to talk online/on the phone.

[zahrimsthoughts]

Aaah I can never remember what the time difference is but I guses between 12am-9am is bad for me my time.. but any other time is fine.

[buried_unburied]

You're not alone on this. I recently moved back to the area I' originally from, after being lonely in new surroundings and hearing many "I wish you were here" "I miss you" "come back and visit" "I'd love to hang out" sort of things from friends here. Now, no one has time to even return a facebook message. I don't understand it either. It's not being polite at this point, since all they're doing is getting my hopes up. I know it's hard.

[carnivalnights]

I am sorry to hear that. :( That is really terrible. I honestly think people throw around these clichés without one second of thought about what they really mean, if they really mean them, and what they mean to the person they are saying them to. I hear the same things all the time but no one cares to put in the effort to contact me; I always have to be the one to initiate it. As bad as this sounds, I think most people are full of shit and do not mean half of what they say. That is really the only explanation. I would rather some just tell me to get lost than lead me on like that. I really would.

[buried_unburied]

I feel the same way. I have one, maybe two friends that somewhat initiate get togethers, and the rest give me that constant "oh that sounds great I'll let you know when I'm free" and then a week later I'm once again asking if they want to hang out. Having to always be the one to ask is hard on my self esteem, too - I mean, don't you want to hang out with me? Aren't we friends? It's so unequal, like they hold the power and I have to grovel if I want company.
In December, I came back to visit for Christmas. It was a five hour drive and I was supposed to meet two friends when I arrived. I had carefully selected, expensive, beautifully wrapped Christmas presents for both of them - and both blew me off. Those gifts are still sitting in my closet because neither's "had time" to see me since then.
Sorry for the rant; your post made me want to share : P

[apori]

I can sympathize with the personal life part, even though I haven't gone through the work application process which must be weighing you down quite a lot :(. I can only say I hope it improves, because you are certainly someone who deserves it, has and will work hard for it. The lack of effort from your friends is disappointing, for sure, I hope you know that it is their loss. Any friend who is loyal and takes the time out of their schedule to spend on others is someone who deserves the same in return, without it being a "thing". At least to me, that's what friendship is.

[littlemisstexas]

I am so deeply, deeply sorry that you're hurting and having such a rough time right now sweetheart, I truly am. : ( *huge, huge, huge hugs & endless love* ♥ I know how incredibly difficult it is not to feel hopeless when you're in a depression and it seems like everything else is going wrong on top of it, but we're all here for you. We'll hang in there with you every step of the way and stay hopeful and positive for you during this time and after it has passed. I know it's very frustrating and discouraging right now, but I promise the right job will find you and you will make a big splash in the industry you want to be a part of

[rainlark]

I regularly re-tweet people who express little things that resonate with me. I'd re-post your whole blog if it were the custom. *HUGS* x

[carnivalnights]

Despite not being able to believe it, that is a really beautiful compliment. One of the best ones I have had in a very long time. So thank you for that. ♥

Any one of my entries goes thousands beyond the Twitter character quota. ;) I think that is why I never use my account. I am far too wordy.