Not Myself Today, Part 5/5
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Monday morning comes early, as it always does, but despite the fact that he only crawled into bed about four and a half hours ago, Steve wakes up refreshed and not tired at all. It takes about as long as the distance between his bed and the bathroom before he realizes why that is and stops short, because he’s himself again, with all the right parts in all the right places. He stretches his arms up above his head, feeling every muscle contract and relax in turn and just enjoying the fact that they’re his again. He heads out for a swim, and once he gets into the water he swims as fast and hard as he can push himself, because there’s nothing like the exhaustion that comes from working every muscle at once, and just like it did on that first morning, it lets him own his own body once more.
He’s a few minutes late to work because he stayed in the water too long, but he doesn’t care, even when Danny is the first one to see him walk in and immediately starts ragging him for it.
“Look what finally washed up on the beach,” he says, making a show of dragging a hand through Steve’s still-wet hair. “Literally, I assume.”
Steve ignores the comment along with the slight shiver he has to suppress at Danny’s casual touch (putting aside why he has to do that for a later time when he’s not at work or standing next to the very observant source of whatever-this-is.)
“Welcome back, Boss,” Kono says.
“Good to see you,” Chin says before going back to his computer.
Kono follows Steve into his office and shuts the door, not even letting him sit down before she starts asking questions.
“Spill. Something must have happened because you’re you again.”
Steve really isn’t ready to discuss what happened with Justin with her yet, even though he knows that she’ll eventually get the whole story. “Can we talk about it later? I have a shitload of phone calls to make that I couldn’t do on Friday or any time in the last two weeks, and I assume that Danny’s head is going to explode if I don’t sign all the case reports today.”
“I’m holding you to that,” Kono says. “I’ll pick up the beer on my way over tonight.” She leaves before he has a chance to argue, and Steve picks up the phone to call the Governor.
He sticks out the day and finished the paperwork he owes Danny because being on Danny's bad side is not somewhere that Steve ever wants to be.
It's just as well that nothing happens at work, because by the time Steve gets home he's exhausted. He has just enough time to use the bathroom and open up the Lanai doors when Kono shows up and walks in without knocking. She puts the beers in the fridge, but keeps two for them, popping off the tops before passing one over. Steve sits in one of the deck chairs and Kono takes the other, neither of them talking for a while.
Living alone, Steve's gotten used to sitting in silence, but Kono isn't quite as good and she starts fidgeting, so Steve starts talking.
Steve tells her about Saturday, glossing over most of it with a handwave, but she gets the idea if her smirk is anything to judge by. Then he tells her that they broke up the next morning and gets a smack to the back of the head for his trouble.
“It worked out, didn’t it?” he says.
“That depends on your definition,” she says.
Steve frowns. “I can’t call him now. He doesn’t know me, and it’s best that he thinks I just went back to the mainland and that’s that.” When Kono pointedly refuses to respond, Steve keeps going. “I know him because I was him. Well, close enough. He’s career military, perfectly straight, and as nice of a guy as he is, I’m not what he’s looking for. He wasn’t exactly heartbroken, if that’s what you’re after.”
“You should tell him,” Kono says.
Steve doesn’t have an answer to that. He knows he should, but he also knows that the reactions to it could be phenomenally bad, and he doesn’t want to overshadow the good memories from the last few weeks with whatever would fall on his head following full disclosure. “Maybe,” he says. “He’s probably better off not knowing.”
“It’s not your call. He deserves better than that.”
She’s right, of course she is, but for right now Steve allows himself a little bit of selfishness.
They stay silent for a while, until Kono clears her throat. “Moving on, then.”
“No.”
“I saw your face. You are not going to cut me off now.”
Steve finishes his beer and gets to to get more. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You keep telling yourself that, Boss."
There's nothing he can say to that will throw her off the scent she's obviously picked up, and so Steve finishes his errand and comes back with more beer and some chips. "So, enough about me," he says, finally. "Tell me about your weekend."
"Which you know full well was spent staring at the phone and wanting to know what was going on with you."
Well, Steve thought, that was probably at least partly true. Even so, he's not about to tell her about the half-formed epiphanies he's been having, mostly because he's not sure exactly what they are, only that they're important and that figuring it out is really only half the battle because he's just one person.
Kono seems to get the idea that she shouldn't push at those particular buttons just yet and changes the topic. She wants to have some sort of team night soon and manages to get Steve to agree to host the party. They decide that barring the apocalypse or a new case Friday is a good day for the thing.
Suddenly, Steve knows exactly how to get revenge on Kono.
***
The week passes too quickly for Steve to have a moment to stop and think about anything. They chase down and lock up a few new scumbags, Steve shoots things and gets Danny to gripe at him for how trigger happy he is. He even gets to use explosives.
Everything is back to normal on the surface, but when they're not in the field, Danny's spending more time in his office with the door closed than he used to (at least it feels that way to Steve), and even Kono has backed off to where she's just watching quietly and not confronting Steve about his feelings every half hour. It would be just fine if he didn't feel like he was living in a fishbowl.
By the time Friday rolls around, there's no new case and no getting out of playing host to the team. Kono has apparently taken care of everything, including getting Chin to cook up his famous Hawaiian fish with pineapple on the grill, and all Steve really has to do is open the door when people start arriving after work. She's apparently even gotten Danny to agree to bring drinks.
Steve is on his way out of the office when he pulls out his phone and brings up Justin's number. He's been thinking about this all week, but hasn't had the guts to do it yet, but he's running out of time. He quickly types out an invitation, saying that his 'brother' is throwing the party and that Kono had been asking about him all week and that she was guaranteed to be there. It's technically completely true, if misleading. And Steve hopes that he shows up.
When he gets home (carrying another case of beer, just to be sure), Kono's already there, setting things up on the lanai, and it turns out that Danny isn't far behind, having apparently stopped long enough at home to change into a t-shirt and jeans and slippers.
Steve's seen him in that outfit many times at this point. Hell, he's seen Danny in less than that, but it still makes his heart skip a beat and his toes curl as he takes in the way the shirt seems to cling and outline every muscle on Danny's chest. Steve hurries out to Danny's car to unload the beer as an excuse to get away from the man himself.
This is, of course, the exact moment when Justin's car pulls into the driveway. Steve panics for half a second before he remembers that there's no way Justin would really know him, and besides, the text had said Kono was the one asking about him. Justin's only the slightest bit hesitant getting out of his car.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Kono Kalakaua?"
Steve smiles and holds out his hand to shake Justin's, the feeling familiar and comforting and new all at the same time. He's meeting Justin on a completely different playing field this time.
"I'm Steve," he says. "Kono's out back on the lannai." He gestures to Danny's car, and the trunk where a few boxes of beer are waiting. "Give me a hand here and I'll show you the way."
Steve goes first along the worn footpath around the side of the house, and he can hear Justin behind him, breathing mostly evenly as he follows. For a second, before they emerge into plain sight, he wishes that he hadn't sent that text and that Justin wasn't here with them, about to step into their home-grown ohana and all the craziness that tends to follow them everywhere. But then he rounds the bend just in time to see Danny attempting to shake off Kono, who is attempting to "straighten" his hair. Danny is batting ineffectually at her hands (she seems to have about five, the way Danny's hair keeps getting messier and messier).
Kono stills suddenly, and Danny declares victory, but Steve knows that it's a hollow one, because Kono has been completely distracted by his guest. Danny just gives him a puzzled look, because this was supposed to be just for them, and he hasn't actually met Justin yet. Steve starts counting minutes until that particular shoe drops. It won't take long. Danny really is a very good detective.
Kono takes the case from Justin. "I see you've met my boss, Steve."
"So he's the crazy one," Justin says. "Nice to meet you."
"I like this guy," Danny interjects. He elbows Steve in the ribcage and says, "He gets it."
"Justin, this is Danny," Kono says. "He's a mainlander, too."
"Military?" Justin asks. Steve knows the question. There are just some places that you don't move unless you don't have a choice. Hawaii may be a great vacation spot, but it's a hard move to make.
"Followed my daughter and my ex wife out here. And then somehow got roped into this band of misfits. They claim that I might someday like it."
"So you're Jamie's brother, then."
Steve cringes, because he never quite got around to telling Danny all the details of his weeks as Jamie. Deliberately. But Steve knows that he'll figure it out pretty quickly. The real question is whether he'll start talking before Steve does and give the game away. He looks at Kono, and she gives him an awkward half smile, showing that she was thinking the same thing.
"What are you --?" Danny says.
Steve can see when the hammer hits. The confusion on Danny's face is quickly replaced with a too-innocent smile that Steve really does not like. At all.
"Justin. Right. She mentioned you."
"Good things, I hope," Justin says.
Danny smiles. "The best. We're really close, me and Jamie. She tells me everything."
Steve really is going to have to give Kono that promotion, because she rescues him by slinging an arm around Justin's shoulders and leading him away. "C'mon, I'll show you around."
Danny smooths down his hair one more time and crosses his arms while watching them go. "You know," he says, leaning into Steve's space. "I kinda get it. Not something I'd do, but I can see it."
Steve's heart falls just a bit, and he has to struggle to keep his face straight. "He hit it off with Kono the other day, so I thought I'd get revenge on her."
"By attempting to make her happy? You are the best at revenge, my friend."
He's saved the trouble of coming up with a retort when Chin, Malia, Max, Charlie and Kamekona all arrive at once, carrying a cooler that is probably filled with more food than the entire neighborhood can eat.
For the next few hours, Steve drifts in and out of conversations with everyone, most of it revolving around work, and when Justin's part of it, involving Danny's vociferous opinion on just how crazy Steve is, including a recitation of all the times he's been shot at since joining Five-0. Which Steve thinks should be considered free-form poetry at this point, especially given the number of times he's heard the thing.
Malia is the first to yawn, and it proves to be highly contagious. Within minutes, they're helping Steve carry dishes inside and clean up the lanai. Danny plunges his hands into the battle for the sink, and Steve goes to clean and pack up the grill. There's not that much to do outside, and so it feels like only a few minutes before he nearly has his house to himself again. Kono and Justin have wandered out together, but Danny's still inside cursing at the dishes.
Steve picks up one of the last few cold beers and sits on the grass. Danny joins him a few minutes later, splotches of water on his shirt, making it cling even more invitingly to his chest.
"So, Justin," Danny says, unceremoniously flopping to the ground next to Steve.
It takes all of Steve's self control not to move away when Danny ends up sitting too close, and even more not to lean into his space. Danny said that he didn't want this, and so Steve is going to respect those boundaries, even if it kills him.
"Do we really need to talk about this?" He's gotten more or less used to Kono prying into his heart, but what Danny stands to find is much more dangerous to them both.
"Yes, we do. Well you do and I'm nosy. So let me guess, you turn into a chick, sleep with this guy and turn back, is that it?"
Steve chokes on his beer, and spends more time than he actually needs getting his breath back. Danny's a good detective but he's not that good, is he? Or is Steve really just that transparent. In which case he needs to find the emergency exit for this conversation. He drains his beer and makes an attempt to get up, but Danny's arms are suddenly holding him back.
"You do know that you are allowed to talk about your feelings, right? They are not going to revoke your SEAL membership over it. Evolve, my Neanderthal friend."
"I'm not required to tell you all of them," Steve says. It's the only way he can think of to get out of this conversation, knowing that a simple I don't want to talk about it isn't going to cut it this time.
Danny's still holding onto his arm, and even though it's still warm outside, even by Hawai'is tropical standards, the sharp contrast between Danny's hand and his bare skin exposed is giving him goosebumps.
"Secrets within units is a bad idea," Danny says, his tone light. "Don't they teach you that in bootcamp? We are a unit, Steve. We're a team. Ohana."
The light spilling out from the house is just enough for Steve to see that Danny is only half-teasing him. Steve wants to tell him, but he doesn't think he has the right words. He's never been good with words anyway, and Kono would probably tell him that this, right here, is why he ended up in his predicament to begin with. She'd also probably smack him and tell him that he's being an idiot.
It's not that there's nothing to lose by following through with his newly hatched hair-brained scheme, because there's everything to lose. But without the right words he's going to lose it anyway and so Steve grabs Danny's neck and pulls him close, resting his forehead against Danny's for a beat before crossing the last chasm and kissing him.
They don’t stay that way for long. It's an awkward position and Danny doesn't respond, so after a mere few seconds that nonetheless feel like hours, Steve pulls back, shakes Danny's arm off and goes inside seeking refuge.
From his bedroom window he can see Danny get up and move out of sight towards the house, and Steve strains to hear the sound of Danny's Camaro firing up and carrying him away from the house.
He's in the middle of pulling his shirt off when he hears footsteps in the bedroom instead. "If you're here to tell me that I'm insane," Steve starts. He never gets the chance to finish because suddenly Danny's there, one hand at the back of his neck and the other covering his mouth so that he can't continue speaking. The only thing he can do, other than grabbing Danny and holding on for dear life is to pull his shirt off his arms and ball it up in his fist at his side. He clutches at it desperately, because if he doesn't have something in his hands he's going to end up grabbing onto Danny.
"Do I get a turn now? Or are you going to put words in my mouth again." Danny moves his hand from Steve's mouth to his shoulder, effectively pinning him in place.
"Again?" Steve says. "I never…"
"Do not argue with me."
"I'm -"
Danny's hand is on his mouth again, cutting off his words. "What did I just say?"
Steve nods.
"You," Danny says, "Are an idiot. You do not get to pull a stunt like that and run away. I'm going to go ahead and guess that something in that big stupid head of yours was following through on a variant of actions speak louder than words am I correct? Nod yes."
Steve does, and Danny keeps talking.
"But there are some words that are questions. And questions are meant to be answered. You, you jerk, ran away before I could give you an answer."
Danny moves his hand, but before Steve has time to do more than draw a breath, Danny's kissing him this time, holding him in place.
Steve's eyes flutter closed and he drops the shirt in favor of holding onto Danny's hips, his shoulders, his hair. Steve buries his fingers in Danny's hair, knowing that it will be messed up beyond all recognition and that he'll get lots of crap from Danny about it later, but right now he's beyond caring.
Three weeks ago he'd have shoved Danny away and fled if he'd tried this. Three weeks ago he wouldn't have kissed Danny first.
Steve's sudden introspection is interrupted by Danny breaking away and muttering something along the lines of too fucking tall before Steve is being shoved roughly backwards until his knees hit the bed and he falls, bringing Danny with him, since he absolutely refuses to let go.
Danny lets out a little oof when he lands and Steve can't help but laugh. They're in an awkward position, half hanging off the bed, clutching onto each other with limbs poking into weird places at first, but eventually they manage to get themselves situated and fully on the bed, heads more or less where the pillows should go, Danny's leg draped over Steve's hips, and Steve's arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders. It's the most comfortable he can remember being with another person, like they were specifically designed to slot together both by day and by night.
They're kissing again, lazily, like they have all the time in the world, and maybe they do. Danny's hands begin to wander, down Steve's side, playing with the hair on his chest, with his nipples. Steve's starting to get hard, finally understanding that yes, this is what he wants.
This, right here, with Danny. Danny, who has the most amazing hands, who seems to be trying to map out every inch of Steve's chest. Danny, who is pressing his hips into Steve's own, showing him exactly what he's feeling.
Steve breaks off, and pulls his hands back, moving his hips so that Danny's arousal isn't quite so obvious. Sure he's done this before, but he's only done this once, and he's still unsure of the whole thing. Despite everything, there's still a large part of his brain that wants him to shove Danny away and run, as far and as fast as he can before something bad happens.
"Words, Steven. Use your words," Danny says. There's a wrinkle on his forehead, the one he gets when he's worried. Steve has always wanted to smooth it away, but he's never let himself even think that. This time he reaches up to Danny's face, and it melts away, leaving a soft, open-mouthed smile in its wake.
The right words aren't where Steve wants them, and so he tries to pull Danny closer again, to affirm that yes, this is what he wants. But of course Danny blocks him.
"Act like an adult, big guy. Come on."
"Last time I looked this was a very adult thing to do."
Danny hits him. "Tell me what is wrong, Steven. In words."
"I just…" Steve wants to spill the entire story of his fling with Justin, and he probably will eventually, but that will take too much time right now, and he really does want to go back to kissing Danny again. It's just the rest of it that he's not sure of.
Danny runs a thumb over Steve's collarbone and it sends a shiver down Steve's spine, forcing him to take in a breath. He moves a hand to Danny's hip and burrows up under his shirt. "It's not a race, OK?"
"Who said it was?" Danny asks, but he seems to get the picture. "There's no finish line, Steve."
"Well…" Steve has to smile, because there's a rather big line he'd like to get to tonight.
"Fine. I'm wrong. But if sex is uncomfortable then we're doing it wrong. So it's all up to you, big guy."
Steve takes his opening. "I'll show you big."
And then they're kissing again, and Danny's still laughing, and still wearing a shirt, which is both good and bad, so Steve flips them over, kneeling half between Danny's legs and reaches to take it off.
He has seen Danny shirtless before, but it's different this time because now he can reach out and touch. He can smooth down the hair on Danny's chest and then tangle his fingers in it. Danny hates when Steve does that to the hair on his head, but this time he's groaning and pressing into the touch, like he can't get enough of it. Steve leans back down and kisses Danny's neck, biting at the muscle at the joint of his shoulder, soothing it back down with his tongue. Tasting Danny the way he's never let himself want.
"Jesus, McGarrett," Danny groans. "I know I said we'd go slow but glaciers move faster than this."
Maybe it's just that he's the one on top now, but this time he's not ready to bolt when he moves his hand down to Danny's belt and starts to unbutton his jeans. He can see how hard Danny is through the fabric, and he wants to see more. He carefully peels back Danny's pants and boxers, helped along when Danny lifts his hips, letting Steve get in a gratuitous grope while he's at it. He pulls Danny's pants down just enough so that he can kick them off himself while Steve moves back off the bed to shed his own in one quick move.
He looks up to find that Danny's half-sitting up, leaning on his elbows and looking appreciatively. His hair is sticking up in tufts. Danny shifts so that he can hold out a hand. "Come back here."
Steve takes it, and tangles their fingers together as he falls. Danny tangles their legs together, too, but Steve's the one who presses closer, he wants to be so much closer, he wants to get lost in Danny, here, now. A few twists of his hips and he's there, right on the edge. He moves a hand between them, into the space that doesn't even exist so that he can wrap his hand around both their dicks, feeling the unfamiliar length of Danny right alongside himself.
Danny is clutching onto him, with his arms, with his legs, holding so tightly that Steve doesn't think they'll ever come apart. They're attached at the lips, too, Steve kissing with everything he has left. Time means nothing anymore, but he finds the edge first and dives off headfirst, like he's been trained for this. He can feel Danny's spasms a moment later, spilling over his hands and onto both their stomachs. Danny's hold tightens, and Steve keeps up the slow movement of his hand until every ounce of energy he ever had is gone, and he slowly falls back to earth, back to the bed next to Danny, still tangled together.
He's lost the ability to move, even enough to raise his head and kiss Danny again, but with his head tucked into Danny's neck he can still reach some skin.
"I swear to god, McGarrett, if you give me a hickey you're the one who gets to answer any questions."
***
Danny is right about the hickey, but it's mostly faded by the time they go back to work on Monday. Well, the first one is. There are a few more in places not visible to the general public, but that's fine, because Steve isn't going to have to answer questions about those.
Probably. This is Five-0, and their days tend not to be completely typical.
They're not touching when they walk in. Chin's working on the computer table and he immediately notices the faded bruise when he looks up.
"You get some this weekend, brah? Is it Gabby again? I thought you two broke up."
"Not Gabby," Danny says.
"Come on, man. Details!" Kono calls from her office, She abandons her paperwork to come join them all in the bullpen.
"My personal life is personal," Danny attempts to defend himself. "So all of you nosy nellies can fuck right off."
Steve can't help the smile that's starting to creep up his face. Some fading part of him wants to run, to kill the smile on his face and deny everything, but he reminds himself that this is his ohana. And nothing stays secret between them for long.
Kono catches the smile first because she's gotten very good at reading him in the last few weeks. She looks between him and Danny a few times before breaking into a smile herself. "About time, Boss."
Danny raises his hands and starts in on Kono, but Steve is too full of happiness to actually hear the words. He sees Chin give him a congratulatory nod before jumping in with Danny to go after Kono.
And just like that Steve feels normal again, laughing at Danny's non-anger, letting his partner into everything that he is. He's not sure how he'll handle the world at large, but then, the world can mind it's own fucking business. He reaches out and wraps an arm around Danny's shoulder, because the only thing Steve is absolutely sure about is that he's going to hold on with everything that he has.
And that if this is the new normal, then Steve is pretty sure he can get used to it.
FIN.
Masterpost
Art by everythingshiny
Monday morning comes early, as it always does, but despite the fact that he only crawled into bed about four and a half hours ago, Steve wakes up refreshed and not tired at all. It takes about as long as the distance between his bed and the bathroom before he realizes why that is and stops short, because he’s himself again, with all the right parts in all the right places. He stretches his arms up above his head, feeling every muscle contract and relax in turn and just enjoying the fact that they’re his again. He heads out for a swim, and once he gets into the water he swims as fast and hard as he can push himself, because there’s nothing like the exhaustion that comes from working every muscle at once, and just like it did on that first morning, it lets him own his own body once more.
He’s a few minutes late to work because he stayed in the water too long, but he doesn’t care, even when Danny is the first one to see him walk in and immediately starts ragging him for it.
“Look what finally washed up on the beach,” he says, making a show of dragging a hand through Steve’s still-wet hair. “Literally, I assume.”
Steve ignores the comment along with the slight shiver he has to suppress at Danny’s casual touch (putting aside why he has to do that for a later time when he’s not at work or standing next to the very observant source of whatever-this-is.)
“Welcome back, Boss,” Kono says.
“Good to see you,” Chin says before going back to his computer.
Kono follows Steve into his office and shuts the door, not even letting him sit down before she starts asking questions.
“Spill. Something must have happened because you’re you again.”
Steve really isn’t ready to discuss what happened with Justin with her yet, even though he knows that she’ll eventually get the whole story. “Can we talk about it later? I have a shitload of phone calls to make that I couldn’t do on Friday or any time in the last two weeks, and I assume that Danny’s head is going to explode if I don’t sign all the case reports today.”
“I’m holding you to that,” Kono says. “I’ll pick up the beer on my way over tonight.” She leaves before he has a chance to argue, and Steve picks up the phone to call the Governor.
He sticks out the day and finished the paperwork he owes Danny because being on Danny's bad side is not somewhere that Steve ever wants to be.
It's just as well that nothing happens at work, because by the time Steve gets home he's exhausted. He has just enough time to use the bathroom and open up the Lanai doors when Kono shows up and walks in without knocking. She puts the beers in the fridge, but keeps two for them, popping off the tops before passing one over. Steve sits in one of the deck chairs and Kono takes the other, neither of them talking for a while.
Living alone, Steve's gotten used to sitting in silence, but Kono isn't quite as good and she starts fidgeting, so Steve starts talking.
Steve tells her about Saturday, glossing over most of it with a handwave, but she gets the idea if her smirk is anything to judge by. Then he tells her that they broke up the next morning and gets a smack to the back of the head for his trouble.
“It worked out, didn’t it?” he says.
“That depends on your definition,” she says.
Steve frowns. “I can’t call him now. He doesn’t know me, and it’s best that he thinks I just went back to the mainland and that’s that.” When Kono pointedly refuses to respond, Steve keeps going. “I know him because I was him. Well, close enough. He’s career military, perfectly straight, and as nice of a guy as he is, I’m not what he’s looking for. He wasn’t exactly heartbroken, if that’s what you’re after.”
“You should tell him,” Kono says.
Steve doesn’t have an answer to that. He knows he should, but he also knows that the reactions to it could be phenomenally bad, and he doesn’t want to overshadow the good memories from the last few weeks with whatever would fall on his head following full disclosure. “Maybe,” he says. “He’s probably better off not knowing.”
“It’s not your call. He deserves better than that.”
She’s right, of course she is, but for right now Steve allows himself a little bit of selfishness.
They stay silent for a while, until Kono clears her throat. “Moving on, then.”
“No.”
“I saw your face. You are not going to cut me off now.”
Steve finishes his beer and gets to to get more. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You keep telling yourself that, Boss."
There's nothing he can say to that will throw her off the scent she's obviously picked up, and so Steve finishes his errand and comes back with more beer and some chips. "So, enough about me," he says, finally. "Tell me about your weekend."
"Which you know full well was spent staring at the phone and wanting to know what was going on with you."
Well, Steve thought, that was probably at least partly true. Even so, he's not about to tell her about the half-formed epiphanies he's been having, mostly because he's not sure exactly what they are, only that they're important and that figuring it out is really only half the battle because he's just one person.
Kono seems to get the idea that she shouldn't push at those particular buttons just yet and changes the topic. She wants to have some sort of team night soon and manages to get Steve to agree to host the party. They decide that barring the apocalypse or a new case Friday is a good day for the thing.
Suddenly, Steve knows exactly how to get revenge on Kono.
***
The week passes too quickly for Steve to have a moment to stop and think about anything. They chase down and lock up a few new scumbags, Steve shoots things and gets Danny to gripe at him for how trigger happy he is. He even gets to use explosives.
Everything is back to normal on the surface, but when they're not in the field, Danny's spending more time in his office with the door closed than he used to (at least it feels that way to Steve), and even Kono has backed off to where she's just watching quietly and not confronting Steve about his feelings every half hour. It would be just fine if he didn't feel like he was living in a fishbowl.
By the time Friday rolls around, there's no new case and no getting out of playing host to the team. Kono has apparently taken care of everything, including getting Chin to cook up his famous Hawaiian fish with pineapple on the grill, and all Steve really has to do is open the door when people start arriving after work. She's apparently even gotten Danny to agree to bring drinks.
Steve is on his way out of the office when he pulls out his phone and brings up Justin's number. He's been thinking about this all week, but hasn't had the guts to do it yet, but he's running out of time. He quickly types out an invitation, saying that his 'brother' is throwing the party and that Kono had been asking about him all week and that she was guaranteed to be there. It's technically completely true, if misleading. And Steve hopes that he shows up.
When he gets home (carrying another case of beer, just to be sure), Kono's already there, setting things up on the lanai, and it turns out that Danny isn't far behind, having apparently stopped long enough at home to change into a t-shirt and jeans and slippers.
Steve's seen him in that outfit many times at this point. Hell, he's seen Danny in less than that, but it still makes his heart skip a beat and his toes curl as he takes in the way the shirt seems to cling and outline every muscle on Danny's chest. Steve hurries out to Danny's car to unload the beer as an excuse to get away from the man himself.
This is, of course, the exact moment when Justin's car pulls into the driveway. Steve panics for half a second before he remembers that there's no way Justin would really know him, and besides, the text had said Kono was the one asking about him. Justin's only the slightest bit hesitant getting out of his car.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Kono Kalakaua?"
Steve smiles and holds out his hand to shake Justin's, the feeling familiar and comforting and new all at the same time. He's meeting Justin on a completely different playing field this time.
"I'm Steve," he says. "Kono's out back on the lannai." He gestures to Danny's car, and the trunk where a few boxes of beer are waiting. "Give me a hand here and I'll show you the way."
Steve goes first along the worn footpath around the side of the house, and he can hear Justin behind him, breathing mostly evenly as he follows. For a second, before they emerge into plain sight, he wishes that he hadn't sent that text and that Justin wasn't here with them, about to step into their home-grown ohana and all the craziness that tends to follow them everywhere. But then he rounds the bend just in time to see Danny attempting to shake off Kono, who is attempting to "straighten" his hair. Danny is batting ineffectually at her hands (she seems to have about five, the way Danny's hair keeps getting messier and messier).
Kono stills suddenly, and Danny declares victory, but Steve knows that it's a hollow one, because Kono has been completely distracted by his guest. Danny just gives him a puzzled look, because this was supposed to be just for them, and he hasn't actually met Justin yet. Steve starts counting minutes until that particular shoe drops. It won't take long. Danny really is a very good detective.
Kono takes the case from Justin. "I see you've met my boss, Steve."
"So he's the crazy one," Justin says. "Nice to meet you."
"I like this guy," Danny interjects. He elbows Steve in the ribcage and says, "He gets it."
"Justin, this is Danny," Kono says. "He's a mainlander, too."
"Military?" Justin asks. Steve knows the question. There are just some places that you don't move unless you don't have a choice. Hawaii may be a great vacation spot, but it's a hard move to make.
"Followed my daughter and my ex wife out here. And then somehow got roped into this band of misfits. They claim that I might someday like it."
"So you're Jamie's brother, then."
Steve cringes, because he never quite got around to telling Danny all the details of his weeks as Jamie. Deliberately. But Steve knows that he'll figure it out pretty quickly. The real question is whether he'll start talking before Steve does and give the game away. He looks at Kono, and she gives him an awkward half smile, showing that she was thinking the same thing.
"What are you --?" Danny says.
Steve can see when the hammer hits. The confusion on Danny's face is quickly replaced with a too-innocent smile that Steve really does not like. At all.
"Justin. Right. She mentioned you."
"Good things, I hope," Justin says.
Danny smiles. "The best. We're really close, me and Jamie. She tells me everything."
Steve really is going to have to give Kono that promotion, because she rescues him by slinging an arm around Justin's shoulders and leading him away. "C'mon, I'll show you around."
Danny smooths down his hair one more time and crosses his arms while watching them go. "You know," he says, leaning into Steve's space. "I kinda get it. Not something I'd do, but I can see it."
Steve's heart falls just a bit, and he has to struggle to keep his face straight. "He hit it off with Kono the other day, so I thought I'd get revenge on her."
"By attempting to make her happy? You are the best at revenge, my friend."
He's saved the trouble of coming up with a retort when Chin, Malia, Max, Charlie and Kamekona all arrive at once, carrying a cooler that is probably filled with more food than the entire neighborhood can eat.
For the next few hours, Steve drifts in and out of conversations with everyone, most of it revolving around work, and when Justin's part of it, involving Danny's vociferous opinion on just how crazy Steve is, including a recitation of all the times he's been shot at since joining Five-0. Which Steve thinks should be considered free-form poetry at this point, especially given the number of times he's heard the thing.
Malia is the first to yawn, and it proves to be highly contagious. Within minutes, they're helping Steve carry dishes inside and clean up the lanai. Danny plunges his hands into the battle for the sink, and Steve goes to clean and pack up the grill. There's not that much to do outside, and so it feels like only a few minutes before he nearly has his house to himself again. Kono and Justin have wandered out together, but Danny's still inside cursing at the dishes.
Steve picks up one of the last few cold beers and sits on the grass. Danny joins him a few minutes later, splotches of water on his shirt, making it cling even more invitingly to his chest.
"So, Justin," Danny says, unceremoniously flopping to the ground next to Steve.
It takes all of Steve's self control not to move away when Danny ends up sitting too close, and even more not to lean into his space. Danny said that he didn't want this, and so Steve is going to respect those boundaries, even if it kills him.
"Do we really need to talk about this?" He's gotten more or less used to Kono prying into his heart, but what Danny stands to find is much more dangerous to them both.
"Yes, we do. Well you do and I'm nosy. So let me guess, you turn into a chick, sleep with this guy and turn back, is that it?"
Steve chokes on his beer, and spends more time than he actually needs getting his breath back. Danny's a good detective but he's not that good, is he? Or is Steve really just that transparent. In which case he needs to find the emergency exit for this conversation. He drains his beer and makes an attempt to get up, but Danny's arms are suddenly holding him back.
"You do know that you are allowed to talk about your feelings, right? They are not going to revoke your SEAL membership over it. Evolve, my Neanderthal friend."
"I'm not required to tell you all of them," Steve says. It's the only way he can think of to get out of this conversation, knowing that a simple I don't want to talk about it isn't going to cut it this time.
Danny's still holding onto his arm, and even though it's still warm outside, even by Hawai'is tropical standards, the sharp contrast between Danny's hand and his bare skin exposed is giving him goosebumps.
"Secrets within units is a bad idea," Danny says, his tone light. "Don't they teach you that in bootcamp? We are a unit, Steve. We're a team. Ohana."
The light spilling out from the house is just enough for Steve to see that Danny is only half-teasing him. Steve wants to tell him, but he doesn't think he has the right words. He's never been good with words anyway, and Kono would probably tell him that this, right here, is why he ended up in his predicament to begin with. She'd also probably smack him and tell him that he's being an idiot.
It's not that there's nothing to lose by following through with his newly hatched hair-brained scheme, because there's everything to lose. But without the right words he's going to lose it anyway and so Steve grabs Danny's neck and pulls him close, resting his forehead against Danny's for a beat before crossing the last chasm and kissing him.
They don’t stay that way for long. It's an awkward position and Danny doesn't respond, so after a mere few seconds that nonetheless feel like hours, Steve pulls back, shakes Danny's arm off and goes inside seeking refuge.
From his bedroom window he can see Danny get up and move out of sight towards the house, and Steve strains to hear the sound of Danny's Camaro firing up and carrying him away from the house.
He's in the middle of pulling his shirt off when he hears footsteps in the bedroom instead. "If you're here to tell me that I'm insane," Steve starts. He never gets the chance to finish because suddenly Danny's there, one hand at the back of his neck and the other covering his mouth so that he can't continue speaking. The only thing he can do, other than grabbing Danny and holding on for dear life is to pull his shirt off his arms and ball it up in his fist at his side. He clutches at it desperately, because if he doesn't have something in his hands he's going to end up grabbing onto Danny.
"Do I get a turn now? Or are you going to put words in my mouth again." Danny moves his hand from Steve's mouth to his shoulder, effectively pinning him in place.
"Again?" Steve says. "I never…"
"Do not argue with me."
"I'm -"
Danny's hand is on his mouth again, cutting off his words. "What did I just say?"
Steve nods.
"You," Danny says, "Are an idiot. You do not get to pull a stunt like that and run away. I'm going to go ahead and guess that something in that big stupid head of yours was following through on a variant of actions speak louder than words am I correct? Nod yes."
Steve does, and Danny keeps talking.
"But there are some words that are questions. And questions are meant to be answered. You, you jerk, ran away before I could give you an answer."
Danny moves his hand, but before Steve has time to do more than draw a breath, Danny's kissing him this time, holding him in place.
Steve's eyes flutter closed and he drops the shirt in favor of holding onto Danny's hips, his shoulders, his hair. Steve buries his fingers in Danny's hair, knowing that it will be messed up beyond all recognition and that he'll get lots of crap from Danny about it later, but right now he's beyond caring.
Three weeks ago he'd have shoved Danny away and fled if he'd tried this. Three weeks ago he wouldn't have kissed Danny first.
Steve's sudden introspection is interrupted by Danny breaking away and muttering something along the lines of too fucking tall before Steve is being shoved roughly backwards until his knees hit the bed and he falls, bringing Danny with him, since he absolutely refuses to let go.
Danny lets out a little oof when he lands and Steve can't help but laugh. They're in an awkward position, half hanging off the bed, clutching onto each other with limbs poking into weird places at first, but eventually they manage to get themselves situated and fully on the bed, heads more or less where the pillows should go, Danny's leg draped over Steve's hips, and Steve's arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders. It's the most comfortable he can remember being with another person, like they were specifically designed to slot together both by day and by night.
They're kissing again, lazily, like they have all the time in the world, and maybe they do. Danny's hands begin to wander, down Steve's side, playing with the hair on his chest, with his nipples. Steve's starting to get hard, finally understanding that yes, this is what he wants.
This, right here, with Danny. Danny, who has the most amazing hands, who seems to be trying to map out every inch of Steve's chest. Danny, who is pressing his hips into Steve's own, showing him exactly what he's feeling.
Steve breaks off, and pulls his hands back, moving his hips so that Danny's arousal isn't quite so obvious. Sure he's done this before, but he's only done this once, and he's still unsure of the whole thing. Despite everything, there's still a large part of his brain that wants him to shove Danny away and run, as far and as fast as he can before something bad happens.
"Words, Steven. Use your words," Danny says. There's a wrinkle on his forehead, the one he gets when he's worried. Steve has always wanted to smooth it away, but he's never let himself even think that. This time he reaches up to Danny's face, and it melts away, leaving a soft, open-mouthed smile in its wake.
The right words aren't where Steve wants them, and so he tries to pull Danny closer again, to affirm that yes, this is what he wants. But of course Danny blocks him.
"Act like an adult, big guy. Come on."
"Last time I looked this was a very adult thing to do."
Danny hits him. "Tell me what is wrong, Steven. In words."
"I just…" Steve wants to spill the entire story of his fling with Justin, and he probably will eventually, but that will take too much time right now, and he really does want to go back to kissing Danny again. It's just the rest of it that he's not sure of.
Danny runs a thumb over Steve's collarbone and it sends a shiver down Steve's spine, forcing him to take in a breath. He moves a hand to Danny's hip and burrows up under his shirt. "It's not a race, OK?"
"Who said it was?" Danny asks, but he seems to get the picture. "There's no finish line, Steve."
"Well…" Steve has to smile, because there's a rather big line he'd like to get to tonight.
"Fine. I'm wrong. But if sex is uncomfortable then we're doing it wrong. So it's all up to you, big guy."
Steve takes his opening. "I'll show you big."
And then they're kissing again, and Danny's still laughing, and still wearing a shirt, which is both good and bad, so Steve flips them over, kneeling half between Danny's legs and reaches to take it off.
He has seen Danny shirtless before, but it's different this time because now he can reach out and touch. He can smooth down the hair on Danny's chest and then tangle his fingers in it. Danny hates when Steve does that to the hair on his head, but this time he's groaning and pressing into the touch, like he can't get enough of it. Steve leans back down and kisses Danny's neck, biting at the muscle at the joint of his shoulder, soothing it back down with his tongue. Tasting Danny the way he's never let himself want.
"Jesus, McGarrett," Danny groans. "I know I said we'd go slow but glaciers move faster than this."
Maybe it's just that he's the one on top now, but this time he's not ready to bolt when he moves his hand down to Danny's belt and starts to unbutton his jeans. He can see how hard Danny is through the fabric, and he wants to see more. He carefully peels back Danny's pants and boxers, helped along when Danny lifts his hips, letting Steve get in a gratuitous grope while he's at it. He pulls Danny's pants down just enough so that he can kick them off himself while Steve moves back off the bed to shed his own in one quick move.
He looks up to find that Danny's half-sitting up, leaning on his elbows and looking appreciatively. His hair is sticking up in tufts. Danny shifts so that he can hold out a hand. "Come back here."
Steve takes it, and tangles their fingers together as he falls. Danny tangles their legs together, too, but Steve's the one who presses closer, he wants to be so much closer, he wants to get lost in Danny, here, now. A few twists of his hips and he's there, right on the edge. He moves a hand between them, into the space that doesn't even exist so that he can wrap his hand around both their dicks, feeling the unfamiliar length of Danny right alongside himself.
Danny is clutching onto him, with his arms, with his legs, holding so tightly that Steve doesn't think they'll ever come apart. They're attached at the lips, too, Steve kissing with everything he has left. Time means nothing anymore, but he finds the edge first and dives off headfirst, like he's been trained for this. He can feel Danny's spasms a moment later, spilling over his hands and onto both their stomachs. Danny's hold tightens, and Steve keeps up the slow movement of his hand until every ounce of energy he ever had is gone, and he slowly falls back to earth, back to the bed next to Danny, still tangled together.
He's lost the ability to move, even enough to raise his head and kiss Danny again, but with his head tucked into Danny's neck he can still reach some skin.
"I swear to god, McGarrett, if you give me a hickey you're the one who gets to answer any questions."
***
Danny is right about the hickey, but it's mostly faded by the time they go back to work on Monday. Well, the first one is. There are a few more in places not visible to the general public, but that's fine, because Steve isn't going to have to answer questions about those.
Probably. This is Five-0, and their days tend not to be completely typical.
They're not touching when they walk in. Chin's working on the computer table and he immediately notices the faded bruise when he looks up.
"You get some this weekend, brah? Is it Gabby again? I thought you two broke up."
"Not Gabby," Danny says.
"Come on, man. Details!" Kono calls from her office, She abandons her paperwork to come join them all in the bullpen.
"My personal life is personal," Danny attempts to defend himself. "So all of you nosy nellies can fuck right off."
Steve can't help the smile that's starting to creep up his face. Some fading part of him wants to run, to kill the smile on his face and deny everything, but he reminds himself that this is his ohana. And nothing stays secret between them for long.
Kono catches the smile first because she's gotten very good at reading him in the last few weeks. She looks between him and Danny a few times before breaking into a smile herself. "About time, Boss."
Danny raises his hands and starts in on Kono, but Steve is too full of happiness to actually hear the words. He sees Chin give him a congratulatory nod before jumping in with Danny to go after Kono.
And just like that Steve feels normal again, laughing at Danny's non-anger, letting his partner into everything that he is. He's not sure how he'll handle the world at large, but then, the world can mind it's own fucking business. He reaches out and wraps an arm around Danny's shoulder, because the only thing Steve is absolutely sure about is that he's going to hold on with everything that he has.
And that if this is the new normal, then Steve is pretty sure he can get used to it.
FIN.
Masterpost
Art by everythingshiny