(no subject)
Next round! IT IS EARLY.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ranka Lee
Canon: Macross
Frontier
Character Age: 15
Canon: Macross Frontier is about as close to the "space
opera" genre as you can get, in that it's set in outer space and has a
main theme of ~The Power of Music~. The fleet of the same name is on
its way to the center of the galaxy when there is an attack from the
alien Vajra. Our trio of protagonists include Kabuki
actor-turned-pilot Alto, superstar singer Sheryl, and the ambitious
young Ranka.
Ranka is sweet but naive, and usually cheerful. She is a huge fan of
Sheryl and wants to become a singer herself, though she's just a
normal girl going to school and working at a restaurant. The first ten
episodes chronicle her rise to stardom-a bit of a bumpy ride
including entering the "Miss Macross" pageant, handing out
advertisements, and even dressing up as a carrot in a mall. She is
also one side of a love triangle, as she and Sheryl are both
interested in Alto. Other defining characteristics including hair that
moves according to her emotions and a cellphone that looks like a
little green Beanie Baby. (Don't ask.)
Sample Post:
"To Miss Ranka Lee:
In appreciation of your stellar singing talent and your apparent
finesse in selling psychedelic vegetables to giants, you are cordially
invited to perform at our prestigious summer camp for talented young
people. Do come and bless us all with your shining presence. Or else.
- The Camp of Fantastic Universal Dedication"
And that's all it says! Well, the last part scared me a little, so
here I am! I actually don't really remember coming here at all, but
that doesn't matter, right? Anyway, my name is Ranka Lee, and I've
just debuted! So please give me a chance!
... Why are you boo-ing? I haven't even started yet! Would you rather
I sang something else? I know plenty of Sheryl songs! Anything you
want-you name it, I'll sing it! ...Er, no, I don't know any
songs about gay bars. Or Mmmwhatever-you-just-said. Or The
Discovery Channel. You have a totally different culture here, don't
you? That's all right! Maybe you can teach me those songs while I'm
here, how about that?
W-Well, thanks so much for coming, even though you don't seem to want
to hear my song... Hey, wait, ma'am! That's my phone! Where are
you-what? Of course it's really a phone! What else would it be?
And does it really matter if it vibrates? Just give it back,
already! Ah, I'm sorry, maybe this is just part of the culture
shock... is it common here to share phones? What about keeping them in
your pants? It is? I see! I apologize, then, ma'am. Just bring it back
to me later, okay?
Anyway, my first single is called "Interstellar Flight" - if you like
it, please support me and buy it! -Ehh, you already got it? Wow!
Thank you! "Bittorrent," huh? I haven't heard of that store before!
Ah, I forgot! I've got a special treat for you. You may not want to
hear my song, but I'm a singer, and that's what I do. My agent rewrote
one of my songs just for you guys, and if I don't sing it I'm
gonna get in trouble, so you're just gonna have to listen! Hit it!
So when the thought of being stuck here takes its toll,
And you're feelin' like you wanna take a stroll
Remember not to get too close to the lake,
Mar-cy-yy hates you, yeah! ♪
...Wait. Who's Marcy? And what do they mean, "stuck here?"
What kind of talent camp is this!?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Elizabeth "Liz" Thompson
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: . . . teenaged!
Canon: Welcome to the Shinigami Technical School, where weapons are not just weapons but students too, your teachers may be zombies or Frankenstein, and blood is always the favored comedic accent. In this institute, the Grim Reaper himself preens a particularly gifted group of students to excel in their studies by eliminating threats to society, collecting certain souls to increase the strength of their weapons, and duking it out amongst themselves in true blue shounen style.
The Thompson sisters, a pair of perfectly symmetrical pistols in their weapon form, were known as the 'Demons of Brooklyn' and caused all manner of chaos before the Grim Reaper's son, Death the Kid, took them as his own weapons. Since that time, Liz Thompson has adjusted to normal life as a teenage girl and fancies herself the sanest one of their trio, tending to be mature and no-nonsense. Kid's obsession with symmetry is a particular irritation for her; she'll kindly try to help him and ease him out of his depression at first, but her temper doesn't take long to erupt. Not that she doesn't have her own problems. Despite her past, Liz can be a real coward and is irrationally afraid of things that go bump in the night. She also has a bad habit of worrying about make-up, fashion, and attracting the next hot guy more than her studies. But she cares, really. She'll get the job done!-- right after this paint dries.
Sample Post:
Finally. This is my chance! Who am I to deny an all expenses-paid trip to a beauty salon in the countryside? I mean, I can't even remember the last time I had a break. I can't live like that! Firing away all night and day really takes it out of my back, you know? A good old-fashioned massage from a smoking hot attendant ♥ is just what I need. I bet it could even clear my migraine from hearing the S-word day in and day out -- and no, not that one. Week after week, it's the same thing everyday: "This isn't symmetrical enough, that's not symmetrical enough, oh god I'm not symmetrical enough I NEED TO DIE". . . honestly! At this rate, dealing with that spoiled brat is going to give me wrinkles before I even have to lie about my age. And I won't have it! All I want is to have one day of peace and quiet to myself this time. Nice, who-cares-if-it's-asymmetrical peace and quiet. . .
. . . maybe too quiet. Hey, where is everyone anyway? I know the invitation said this place was exclusive, but this is a little much. Half the fun of a salon is the atmosphere, isn't it? Where's all the gossip? The trashy magazines? The-- eugh, was that screaming? T-that sound. . . I know that sound! I've heard it the track of every major slasher movie! But I won't be the good-looking side character who dies first! Forget the ridiculously good deal, I'm-- no, no, no, wait a second! Pull yourself together, Liz! They probably just have a waxing clinic open today! And anyway, why should you be afraid? Come on! Everyone used to fear your name! Anyone who messed with a Thompson sister bit a bullet before they could even let out one whimper! That's right. . . so if anyone wants to get between me and my makeover, mark my words! I'll give them something that their face will never forge-- oh my god what are you!?
S-stay back! Back I say! I know I look tasty, but I'm really not at all! And I'm all carbohydrates! So if you value what's left of your figure, don't you dare try to touch me. . . huh? Y-you're just another customer? Seriously? I mean, I know the professionals here are supposed to work wonders but-- crap. Hey, I didn't mean it like that! So calm down, okay? I bet you're still a great person, no matter what you look like. Just think about it! You've got a face that's still perfect for radio. Instead of popping bones, you'll be a pop hit! Right? . . . still no, huh. Alright, how about this: I'll give you some tips right here and now to get you started before you even walk in the door. -- As long as you keep three feet away from me at all times. Sound good? Leeet's just gloss over that.
Remember, three feet! N-now, the golden rule is that it's all in the make-up. And the best part is, if you do it right no one will even know until after they've already fallen for you. You're off to a good start -- they have been saying that green is the new pink -- but you've got to up the ante a little. Bring out the heavy artillery! Have you tried concealer? It's the perfect thing to hide all those blots and blemishes. And if you're going to fight tooth and nail, you've got to remember to do damage control afterwards; have you seen the condition of your polish? I know they say to let the chips fall where they may, but that definitely doesn't apply here. But look, it's not that hard is it? Just some eyeshadow, a dab of mascara, a new coat of nail polish. . . what do you say?
-- What do you mean you're still in despair?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Seifer Almasy
Series: Final Fantasy VIII
Age: 18
Canon: Final Fantasy VIII is, as far as anyone can make out, the story of how a group of teenaged mercenaries defeated an evil sorceress from the future via the power of love and ... bludgeoning her with assorted weapons. Work with me here. It is also a story of sacrifice, redemption and of just how far a fallen hero can fall. Seifer is that fallen hero. Initially the rival of the main character, Seifer is manipulated through his own desperate desire to be regarded as a noble knight of a sorceress and is then used as a weapon against Garden, a military academy that raised him since he was a child. He proceeds to spend two discs grinning crazily, attacking his own side and sounding nothing like he did before. Then he gets jesused via bludgeoning (...I'm starting to see a trend here) and is apparently back to his usual self.
His usual self is that of a headstrong, wild and fiercely independent dreamer. Other appropriate descriptions are "arrogant", "willful" and "a bag of dicks". Really, Seifer just wants attention and he doesn't really care what form it takes. Be it the love of a girl for a summer to someone calling him a failure to his face, Seifer doesn't care. He wants to be noticed and remembered ... which is a big deal when the heroes often forget things like, for example, most of their childhood. If you were thinking that these traits would make him a bad mercenary, well, you're right! He's so bad that he's failed the test to become one three times. Apparently insubordination is bad in the military. Who knew?
Sample Post:
Well, well, what have we here? A bunch of military cadets doing absolutely nothing when there's a war going on. Who am I? Seifer Almasy, trained by Garden and the answer to your prayers. When I see you milling around, I don't see failure. I see potential. Except for that mopey one over there. He's a failure. And that hyperactive brat. He's a failure too. But the rest of you, you follow orders. You just need a good leader, and I am that leader. Stick with me if you want a real leader, stay behind if you want to spend your days bringing some loser his Soylent Greentini shaken with a dash of brain extract. I'm going places and if you stick around, I'll think about letting you share in some of that success. Maybe. First, to test you all, form up!
Geez, you are all stupid. Form up means "get into a line". It doesn't mean "fuse together to make one big ... whatever you are". That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Now get in a line! One head to a person, two arms, two legs and ... no, I don't care how many dicks you have. Castrate him for all I care. Hey, hyper one! Don't talk back. That's insubordination. I don't care if you have a heart of gold and neither does your other head. Give it back to your neighbor and stick it on properly; I'm not taking anyone along who loses their head in battle. Move it, move it, I haven't got all day.
Finally. Your next mission, assuming you can accomplish that much, is to capture the inflatable building, hereby known as the Auxiliary Supervisory Shack. It may be pink and full of air but it's mobile. You'll need to tap it to deflate it. And stop questioning my judgment! I'm the one who gives the orders around here. Your job is to listen to me. It's clear who's the brains of this outfit. After you rescue the ASS, you can bring it back to me. Right? Good. After that, we'll set up base camp here, on the lake. See, it's inflatable, therefore it will float and we'll have mobile headquarters. As for inflating it ... hyperactive brat's full of hot air, so he's gotta be good at blow jobs. You two, the argumentative ones who think you're so smart. You can scope out the lake for threats. And stop complaining about this Marcy -- there's two of you and one of her. Surely you can handle one girl? You're not scared, are you? I thought not.
Everyone clear on their orders? Good. Almasy's Regiment, move out! Stop, do it again! With your feet, this time. Now is not the time to be footloose.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Otoya
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: ~21
Canon:What do you get when you combine dual timelines, shiny spandex outfits, wisecracking alien bats, rubber-suit monsters, violins, and stained glass? Why, Kamen Rider Kiva, of course! A cheesy sentai show in the vein of Power Rangers, Kamen Rider Kiva is a story about defeating demonic menace with cool henshin powers and the people who do it. In this case, the demonic menace are the Fangire, stained-glass based vampires who feed on human life energy and have the ability to assume human form. The protagonist in the present-day timeline is Kurenai Wataru, a shy boy who would rather pursue his dream of creating the perfect violin than fight monsters, but is instead destined to transform into Kiva with the help of his bat henshin device sidekick.
But this isn't about Wataru. No, this is about his father, Kurenai Otoya. Back in 1986, Otoya was a virtuoso violinist, fast-talker, and ladies' man who happened to fall in with a group of Fangire hunters by becoming infatuated with one of them. He's a legend in his own mind and, hilariously, in several other minds as well. Otoya is both intensely charismatic and intensely silly, managing to walk a fine line between ridiculous and wise. However, he also proves himself to be a fierce fighter and loyal friend, willing to risk everything for Yuri, the woman he falls in love with. He's also surprisingly compassionate, the only person in his timeline willing to speak to and reason with the Fangire instead of just killing them outright. He's talented at making everyone around him think that he's a flamboyant, impulsive idiot, but the legacy he's left by 2008 proves there's more to Otoya than meets the eye.
Sample: Ahh, Yuri, you've sent your noble knight out on yet another quest! This time she asks me to tame the savage violent beasts and to soothe the rotting hearts of the denizens of Camp Fokku Yo Dai. Ooh, such strong language~ This is almost as difficult as giving violin lessons to stubborn little girls. But I will show my lady of destiny that my heart remains strong and bear the burden of her request on my exceedingly broad shoulders. Yes!
They come already? So quickly! See, the people in this camp appreciate my genius. It is not surprising at all that my reputation has spread so far. Now, who would like the first lesson? For ladies of exceeding talent and beauty, I would be willing to extend them long into the evening~ Oi, oi, there is no need to push and shove. You certainly don't have to step on each other like that. There's plenty of Kurenai Otoya to go around! I know my presence may induce tears of joy, but please don't wipe your nose off on my sleeve. A violinist needs both his arms unimpeded at all times, and while a nose is not strictly required for music appreciation, it is required for loveliness appreciation. You, madam, cannot possibly remind anyone of a beautifully sunny day without one. Your lessons will be confined strictly to daylight hours!
But what is this? You wish to sample the genius of Kurenai Otoya? How can I resist the request of a heart extended toward me, especially in such a literal manner! Please, put it away. Nevertheless, I hear the strains of music in you yet, Zombie-san, though they may be warped and just slightly flat. Listen, that the lovely violin may lift your soul!
♪♫
What did you say, Horned Zombie-san? You and your friends wish to sample my delicious brains? But I have just played for you! Aah, you meant that you would like to eat my brains? I don't remember any such thing in my precious letter. Because it isn't there! But on second reading, I realize that this writing doesn't look like Yuri's after all. Horned Zombie-san, I think you have deceived me! That is very cruel, trying to string me along this way. But as a mountain won't be worn down by a tiny stream, so your puny plans won't wear down the strength of my love. I suppose you are going to attack me now. Just a moment to put my violin away first, if you please~ The humidity is terrible for the wood. There now. Be prepared to face the wrath of--
Bargaining, Horned Zombie-san? Aah, you think yourself a musician? Very well, I accept the terms of your duel! If I win, I'll take your gold violin, and if you win, you may have my solo. And have no fear, Horned Zombie-san, I will win, because Kurenai Otoya is the best there's ever been!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sakubo (Iori Nakanishi)
Series: .hack//G.U.
Character Age: 11
Canon: Welcome to "the World". The year is 2017 and the MMORPG "The World" is probably the biggest source of entertainment to people of all demographics world-wide, a safe and enjoyable play experience -- or so the corporation that made it would like you to think. Instead, the truth involves viruses, artificial intelligences, artificially intelligent viruses, and more -- dangers that can even put players into comas just by coming in contact with them. The only people with the power to fight these things are a group of eight PCs with the ability to summon "Avatars". One of these eight people is a child called Sakubo. Or... two people, technically. You see, Sakubo has multiple personalities. These personalities, "Saku" and "Bo", trade off usage of the "Sakubo" PC, which changes physically in little ways to reflect subtly whether the controller is male or female.
Bo, the original personality, is quiet, self-deprecating, has fairly low self-esteem, is painfully earnest in everything he does, and is so awkward and shy around other people that it can take a huge and visible show of courage just to talk to storekeepers. In a RPG. He is almost excessively nice. And while he's working on building up his confidence, it tends to fail him still as he stammers his way through the most basic of conversations. Saku, in comparison, is sly, conniving, bitchy, and brutal. She drips self-confidence in her every action, obsesses dangerously hard over her crush (the languid bishounen "Master En"), and pretty much is willing to do anything from sucking up to hiring hitmen to get what she wants. She is perfectly happy to pick apart every failing somebody has in minute detail, and also perfectly happy to blast them in the face with her powerful magic (Naturally, she favours destructive magic like the "fireball" spell, Vak Don). Together, Saku and Bo fight crime. Or, at least, bugs in the system.
Sample Post:
...Uh... um. I.... er. I ah... ... ... E-excuse me, Mister Beastman, but I'm, um... ...I'm lost. I really ... don't know where this could be. C-can I ask you to give me a hand? ... ... Oh, not... um. Uh, don't give me a hand there, please, that's a little... N-no means no, you know, and if you don't stop, I'll... ... um... ... I don't really know, so... I guess what I mean to say is--
Hey, where do you think you're touching, you stupid bear?! Pervert! Pedo! How dare you touch me like that?! Vak Don!
Ewww, Gross! Super gross! Mega gross! Mega-super-ultra gross!! I can't believe you thought you could just get away with that! For your information, only one person in the whole world will ever be allowed to touch me, and that's Master En! If he touched me like that, I wouldn't mind. It could just be with the tips of his hair or the end of his big toe or even his shadow, but any touch of his would be like heaven~! But he's way too much of a gentleman to touch a girl my age, you know.
I can't say as much for you, you stupid pedo-bear! I bet you thought I'd "like that" or would "give in to your charms" or something like that. Hmph! You don't know the slightest thing about girls, do you? And don't even mention boys -- some stupid furry like you doesn't have the right to try poisoning my little brother like that. Going after a shy kid like him -- hah, that's right, isn't it? You went after kids like us because you're way too stupid and too ugly to ever have a chance with an adult, right? You didn't have the guts and you figured kids would be easier, like we wouldn't even notice what you were trying to do. Well, newsflash, dumbo... even kids have better taste than that! You didn't really think you could get us to pay attention to a lamer bear-suit fanatic like you, did you? You're so pathetic -- you can't get anyone to like you. It'd be sad if it wasn't so funny! So why don't you just yiff in heck, furfreak! Vak Don, Vak Don, Vak Don!!
...
... ... ...U-um. I'm sorry, Mister. My sister, um, my sister Saku really wanted to talk to you. I don't really know what happened, but -- O-oh no! Are you okay?! You look like you just got really hurt somehow! Just stay still, don't try to move. I'll get some help for you. D-don't worry about anything, Mr. Bear. I might not be much help, but I'll do my best, so you can count on me to keep you safe--
Wha--? W-where are you going?! Don't run away, it isn't safe! After all, whatever hurt you might still be nearby!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kamui Shirou.
Series: X/1999
Character Age: 15 years old.
Canon: You know how it is for some teenagers that they feel the weight of the world over their shoulders? This happens to be literally true for the main character of X/1999, Kamui Shirou. Destined to save humanity before the year 1999 ends, Kamui has but a but few months left to learn how to form a spiritual barrier known as a kekkai so that he can fight against his once best friend Fuuma on fair terms and stop this world from being completely destroyed. With this, he also hopes to make his friend go back to the sweet, kind person Kamui remembers, rather than the megalomaniac rapist god-mode he currently is.
Though at first he seems like a violent, arrogant and angry teenager, Kamui is actually a gentle, caring person not used to others being kind to him. He's socially awkward, more than a little gullible with those people he trusts and he has enough issues about being useless and being unable to protect his important people to fill up a mountain. Though, really, can you blame him? With loved ones dying left and right through every possibly traumatic way and a definite promise of more to come, it's little to no surprise that Kamui is feeling the time slipping away way too fast.
Kamui is taken at the end of volume 15.
Sample Post:
Would you please, please stop saying that you can't change fate, at least for a moment? You said that there's a woman casting the barrier around here, and I need to know where can I find her, to ask her how she's doing it.
It's weird, though - and it's more than just the shape of the barrier I'm talking about; I never would've guessed you could have a tentacle-shaped one - I don't know why she'd keep up the illusion of a place like this. I don't mean any offense, it's just that I've had dreams of the world ending that are just like this: nature taking over, rotting corpses everywhere, and--
-- no, purple gorillas and talking toucans weren't part of those dreams, and usually the rotting corpses are dead and not playing catch; though I guess those still could be signs of the world's end for someone else. But perhaps that's one of the reasons why she's so important. She might be trying to show me exactly why I'm supposed to stop this from happening and why I need to to learn to cast my own barrier.
No, I really, really don't care for other classes, as long as I can learn how to cast a barrier it's okay. Besides, names like 'Crucifixion 101', or 'So You Caused the Apocalypse', or 'Global Warming and Your Mom' kill any curiosity I might've on them; I've more than enough experience on my own. Just, can you tell me where she is? Please? Near the lake and her name is Marcy? Thanks.
Huh? Isn't that saying usually 'break a leg'? Who's ever heard of 'lose an eye' when wishing for good luck?
Character: Shirou Kamui
Series: X
Character Age: 15
Canon: The year is 1999, and the apocalypse approaches. Following the last words of his mother, Kamui returns to Tokyo to fulfill his destiny and decide the future of the world. Despite initially being moody and uncooperative, a series of tragedies forces Kamui to reevaluate his worth and his position as "Kamui", literally "one who represents the majesty of God" or "one who hunts the majesty of God." He has a choice: to become a Dragon of Heaven, or a Dragon of Earth. The goal of the Dragons of Earth is to destroy the world and allow it to be recreated, thus purifying it of all the damage humans have done, while the Dragons of Heaven wish to maintain and protect the world as it is. The two groups fight for control over Tokyo, a major key point in deciding Earth's survival.
Despite his constant misfortune and the heavy weight of his destiny, Kamui remains a kind-hearted soul who wishes to protect his friends and loved ones at all costs. Usually quiet and withdrawn, he is unwaveringly passionate about trying to protect the world from the Dragons of Earth. He's stronger than he believes, and despite having faced many catastrophes, is still surprisingly innocent and naive when placed in a new environment. He is polite, occasionally gullible, and often overwhelmed by what most take for granted: kindness and a boisterous friend.
Sample Post:
The sky this morning was grey. It looked like . . . the heavens were weeping for me. Little things kept going wrong . . . like losing my tie, snapping my shoelace, dropping a mug, and breaking my umbrella. If I were superstitious, I would guess the black rabbit that crossed my path was also a sign. I've never seen a rabbit with a waistcoat and a pocket watch before, though. I know that sounds similar to a children's book, but this rabbit didn't look like he was running late for any date, important or not. Though, I remember he was mumbling something about "he's late, he's late . . ."
Is that what he meant by "You're laaaate for a very important daaaaate"? I think yelling that as he kicked me into the rabbit hole was rather unnecessary, even if the trip was an interesting one. I didn't even know rabbits could yell. And I suppose . . . I do have a date. A date with destiny. And my destiny involves my being in Tokyo, not some sort of story -- oh, thank you. Ah . . . Did an ape really just hand me a brochure? I'm definitely sure no one ever handed Alice a brochure when she got to Wonderland. Well, the information would be useful, I guess.
"Camp Find Ur Destiny is a three-week course with a variety of training activities, including classic favorites such as Dodge the Tentacles, Capture the Zombie's Head, and Pin the Tail on the Gorilla and Run. Such games improve the campers' flexibility, stamina, and strategy, all necessary skills for survival and fate-fulfillment. Excellent psychological counseling services are provided by the resident ninjas and pirates, who assure us that the beatings will continue until morale improves. Established in 2005, CFUD is privileged to be one of the very few camps in beautiful Hell, Louisiana."
Louisiana? That's . . . America, with no immediate way back home. Camp Find Ur Destiny . . . I thought I knew my destiny. Everyone else seems to. I suppose summer camp can't be too bad. It's only three weeks, right? That's just a bit less than a month, so I'll be able to go back soon. Though it's strange that I haven't seen that many people here, but maybe it's not unusual for a place like this. The campers are all probably out training. I'll use this place to get stronger, if they're really as good as they say. I'm won't let anything happen to this world. I'll protect it with my dying will!
. . . And you are all getting too close. What you want to do with your dying wills is of no interest to me, and I really don't have time for this! If I'm stuck here, then I'm going to make the best use of my time, and spending it with zombies is not going to help. Necrophilia is not my ghoul in life! I -- Huh? What so funny?
Wait, that was wrong. I got it wrong. Ah . . . Please stop laughing and put yourselves back together. Could you all just leave? A little further away, please. Your presence lingers around here, and it won't leave me alone.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ranka Lee
Canon: Macross
Frontier
Character Age: 15
Canon: Macross Frontier is about as close to the "space
opera" genre as you can get, in that it's set in outer space and has a
main theme of ~The Power of Music~. The fleet of the same name is on
its way to the center of the galaxy when there is an attack from the
alien Vajra. Our trio of protagonists include Kabuki
actor-turned-pilot Alto, superstar singer Sheryl, and the ambitious
young Ranka.
Ranka is sweet but naive, and usually cheerful. She is a huge fan of
Sheryl and wants to become a singer herself, though she's just a
normal girl going to school and working at a restaurant. The first ten
episodes chronicle her rise to stardom-a bit of a bumpy ride
including entering the "Miss Macross" pageant, handing out
advertisements, and even dressing up as a carrot in a mall. She is
also one side of a love triangle, as she and Sheryl are both
interested in Alto. Other defining characteristics including hair that
moves according to her emotions and a cellphone that looks like a
little green Beanie Baby. (Don't ask.)
Sample Post:
"To Miss Ranka Lee:
In appreciation of your stellar singing talent and your apparent
finesse in selling psychedelic vegetables to giants, you are cordially
invited to perform at our prestigious summer camp for talented young
people. Do come and bless us all with your shining presence. Or else.
- The Camp of Fantastic Universal Dedication"
And that's all it says! Well, the last part scared me a little, so
here I am! I actually don't really remember coming here at all, but
that doesn't matter, right? Anyway, my name is Ranka Lee, and I've
just debuted! So please give me a chance!
... Why are you boo-ing? I haven't even started yet! Would you rather
I sang something else? I know plenty of Sheryl songs! Anything you
want-you name it, I'll sing it! ...Er, no, I don't know any
songs about gay bars. Or Mmmwhatever-you-just-said. Or The
Discovery Channel. You have a totally different culture here, don't
you? That's all right! Maybe you can teach me those songs while I'm
here, how about that?
W-Well, thanks so much for coming, even though you don't seem to want
to hear my song... Hey, wait, ma'am! That's my phone! Where are
you-what? Of course it's really a phone! What else would it be?
And does it really matter if it vibrates? Just give it back,
already! Ah, I'm sorry, maybe this is just part of the culture
shock... is it common here to share phones? What about keeping them in
your pants? It is? I see! I apologize, then, ma'am. Just bring it back
to me later, okay?
Anyway, my first single is called "Interstellar Flight" - if you like
it, please support me and buy it! -Ehh, you already got it? Wow!
Thank you! "Bittorrent," huh? I haven't heard of that store before!
Ah, I forgot! I've got a special treat for you. You may not want to
hear my song, but I'm a singer, and that's what I do. My agent rewrote
one of my songs just for you guys, and if I don't sing it I'm
gonna get in trouble, so you're just gonna have to listen! Hit it!
So when the thought of being stuck here takes its toll,
And you're feelin' like you wanna take a stroll
Remember not to get too close to the lake,
Mar-cy-yy hates you, yeah! ♪
...Wait. Who's Marcy? And what do they mean, "stuck here?"
What kind of talent camp is this!?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Elizabeth "Liz" Thompson
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: . . . teenaged!
Canon: Welcome to the Shinigami Technical School, where weapons are not just weapons but students too, your teachers may be zombies or Frankenstein, and blood is always the favored comedic accent. In this institute, the Grim Reaper himself preens a particularly gifted group of students to excel in their studies by eliminating threats to society, collecting certain souls to increase the strength of their weapons, and duking it out amongst themselves in true blue shounen style.
The Thompson sisters, a pair of perfectly symmetrical pistols in their weapon form, were known as the 'Demons of Brooklyn' and caused all manner of chaos before the Grim Reaper's son, Death the Kid, took them as his own weapons. Since that time, Liz Thompson has adjusted to normal life as a teenage girl and fancies herself the sanest one of their trio, tending to be mature and no-nonsense. Kid's obsession with symmetry is a particular irritation for her; she'll kindly try to help him and ease him out of his depression at first, but her temper doesn't take long to erupt. Not that she doesn't have her own problems. Despite her past, Liz can be a real coward and is irrationally afraid of things that go bump in the night. She also has a bad habit of worrying about make-up, fashion, and attracting the next hot guy more than her studies. But she cares, really. She'll get the job done!-- right after this paint dries.
Sample Post:
Finally. This is my chance! Who am I to deny an all expenses-paid trip to a beauty salon in the countryside? I mean, I can't even remember the last time I had a break. I can't live like that! Firing away all night and day really takes it out of my back, you know? A good old-fashioned massage from a smoking hot attendant ♥ is just what I need. I bet it could even clear my migraine from hearing the S-word day in and day out -- and no, not that one. Week after week, it's the same thing everyday: "This isn't symmetrical enough, that's not symmetrical enough, oh god I'm not symmetrical enough I NEED TO DIE". . . honestly! At this rate, dealing with that spoiled brat is going to give me wrinkles before I even have to lie about my age. And I won't have it! All I want is to have one day of peace and quiet to myself this time. Nice, who-cares-if-it's-asymmetrical peace and quiet. . .
. . . maybe too quiet. Hey, where is everyone anyway? I know the invitation said this place was exclusive, but this is a little much. Half the fun of a salon is the atmosphere, isn't it? Where's all the gossip? The trashy magazines? The-- eugh, was that screaming? T-that sound. . . I know that sound! I've heard it the track of every major slasher movie! But I won't be the good-looking side character who dies first! Forget the ridiculously good deal, I'm-- no, no, no, wait a second! Pull yourself together, Liz! They probably just have a waxing clinic open today! And anyway, why should you be afraid? Come on! Everyone used to fear your name! Anyone who messed with a Thompson sister bit a bullet before they could even let out one whimper! That's right. . . so if anyone wants to get between me and my makeover, mark my words! I'll give them something that their face will never forge-- oh my god what are you!?
S-stay back! Back I say! I know I look tasty, but I'm really not at all! And I'm all carbohydrates! So if you value what's left of your figure, don't you dare try to touch me. . . huh? Y-you're just another customer? Seriously? I mean, I know the professionals here are supposed to work wonders but-- crap. Hey, I didn't mean it like that! So calm down, okay? I bet you're still a great person, no matter what you look like. Just think about it! You've got a face that's still perfect for radio. Instead of popping bones, you'll be a pop hit! Right? . . . still no, huh. Alright, how about this: I'll give you some tips right here and now to get you started before you even walk in the door. -- As long as you keep three feet away from me at all times. Sound good? Leeet's just gloss over that.
Remember, three feet! N-now, the golden rule is that it's all in the make-up. And the best part is, if you do it right no one will even know until after they've already fallen for you. You're off to a good start -- they have been saying that green is the new pink -- but you've got to up the ante a little. Bring out the heavy artillery! Have you tried concealer? It's the perfect thing to hide all those blots and blemishes. And if you're going to fight tooth and nail, you've got to remember to do damage control afterwards; have you seen the condition of your polish? I know they say to let the chips fall where they may, but that definitely doesn't apply here. But look, it's not that hard is it? Just some eyeshadow, a dab of mascara, a new coat of nail polish. . . what do you say?
-- What do you mean you're still in despair?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Seifer Almasy
Series: Final Fantasy VIII
Age: 18
Canon: Final Fantasy VIII is, as far as anyone can make out, the story of how a group of teenaged mercenaries defeated an evil sorceress from the future via the power of love and ... bludgeoning her with assorted weapons. Work with me here. It is also a story of sacrifice, redemption and of just how far a fallen hero can fall. Seifer is that fallen hero. Initially the rival of the main character, Seifer is manipulated through his own desperate desire to be regarded as a noble knight of a sorceress and is then used as a weapon against Garden, a military academy that raised him since he was a child. He proceeds to spend two discs grinning crazily, attacking his own side and sounding nothing like he did before. Then he gets jesused via bludgeoning (...I'm starting to see a trend here) and is apparently back to his usual self.
His usual self is that of a headstrong, wild and fiercely independent dreamer. Other appropriate descriptions are "arrogant", "willful" and "a bag of dicks". Really, Seifer just wants attention and he doesn't really care what form it takes. Be it the love of a girl for a summer to someone calling him a failure to his face, Seifer doesn't care. He wants to be noticed and remembered ... which is a big deal when the heroes often forget things like, for example, most of their childhood. If you were thinking that these traits would make him a bad mercenary, well, you're right! He's so bad that he's failed the test to become one three times. Apparently insubordination is bad in the military. Who knew?
Sample Post:
Well, well, what have we here? A bunch of military cadets doing absolutely nothing when there's a war going on. Who am I? Seifer Almasy, trained by Garden and the answer to your prayers. When I see you milling around, I don't see failure. I see potential. Except for that mopey one over there. He's a failure. And that hyperactive brat. He's a failure too. But the rest of you, you follow orders. You just need a good leader, and I am that leader. Stick with me if you want a real leader, stay behind if you want to spend your days bringing some loser his Soylent Greentini shaken with a dash of brain extract. I'm going places and if you stick around, I'll think about letting you share in some of that success. Maybe. First, to test you all, form up!
Geez, you are all stupid. Form up means "get into a line". It doesn't mean "fuse together to make one big ... whatever you are". That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Now get in a line! One head to a person, two arms, two legs and ... no, I don't care how many dicks you have. Castrate him for all I care. Hey, hyper one! Don't talk back. That's insubordination. I don't care if you have a heart of gold and neither does your other head. Give it back to your neighbor and stick it on properly; I'm not taking anyone along who loses their head in battle. Move it, move it, I haven't got all day.
Finally. Your next mission, assuming you can accomplish that much, is to capture the inflatable building, hereby known as the Auxiliary Supervisory Shack. It may be pink and full of air but it's mobile. You'll need to tap it to deflate it. And stop questioning my judgment! I'm the one who gives the orders around here. Your job is to listen to me. It's clear who's the brains of this outfit. After you rescue the ASS, you can bring it back to me. Right? Good. After that, we'll set up base camp here, on the lake. See, it's inflatable, therefore it will float and we'll have mobile headquarters. As for inflating it ... hyperactive brat's full of hot air, so he's gotta be good at blow jobs. You two, the argumentative ones who think you're so smart. You can scope out the lake for threats. And stop complaining about this Marcy -- there's two of you and one of her. Surely you can handle one girl? You're not scared, are you? I thought not.
Everyone clear on their orders? Good. Almasy's Regiment, move out! Stop, do it again! With your feet, this time. Now is not the time to be footloose.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Otoya
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: ~21
Canon:What do you get when you combine dual timelines, shiny spandex outfits, wisecracking alien bats, rubber-suit monsters, violins, and stained glass? Why, Kamen Rider Kiva, of course! A cheesy sentai show in the vein of Power Rangers, Kamen Rider Kiva is a story about defeating demonic menace with cool henshin powers and the people who do it. In this case, the demonic menace are the Fangire, stained-glass based vampires who feed on human life energy and have the ability to assume human form. The protagonist in the present-day timeline is Kurenai Wataru, a shy boy who would rather pursue his dream of creating the perfect violin than fight monsters, but is instead destined to transform into Kiva with the help of his bat henshin device sidekick.
But this isn't about Wataru. No, this is about his father, Kurenai Otoya. Back in 1986, Otoya was a virtuoso violinist, fast-talker, and ladies' man who happened to fall in with a group of Fangire hunters by becoming infatuated with one of them. He's a legend in his own mind and, hilariously, in several other minds as well. Otoya is both intensely charismatic and intensely silly, managing to walk a fine line between ridiculous and wise. However, he also proves himself to be a fierce fighter and loyal friend, willing to risk everything for Yuri, the woman he falls in love with. He's also surprisingly compassionate, the only person in his timeline willing to speak to and reason with the Fangire instead of just killing them outright. He's talented at making everyone around him think that he's a flamboyant, impulsive idiot, but the legacy he's left by 2008 proves there's more to Otoya than meets the eye.
Sample: Ahh, Yuri, you've sent your noble knight out on yet another quest! This time she asks me to tame the savage violent beasts and to soothe the rotting hearts of the denizens of Camp Fokku Yo Dai. Ooh, such strong language~ This is almost as difficult as giving violin lessons to stubborn little girls. But I will show my lady of destiny that my heart remains strong and bear the burden of her request on my exceedingly broad shoulders. Yes!
They come already? So quickly! See, the people in this camp appreciate my genius. It is not surprising at all that my reputation has spread so far. Now, who would like the first lesson? For ladies of exceeding talent and beauty, I would be willing to extend them long into the evening~ Oi, oi, there is no need to push and shove. You certainly don't have to step on each other like that. There's plenty of Kurenai Otoya to go around! I know my presence may induce tears of joy, but please don't wipe your nose off on my sleeve. A violinist needs both his arms unimpeded at all times, and while a nose is not strictly required for music appreciation, it is required for loveliness appreciation. You, madam, cannot possibly remind anyone of a beautifully sunny day without one. Your lessons will be confined strictly to daylight hours!
But what is this? You wish to sample the genius of Kurenai Otoya? How can I resist the request of a heart extended toward me, especially in such a literal manner! Please, put it away. Nevertheless, I hear the strains of music in you yet, Zombie-san, though they may be warped and just slightly flat. Listen, that the lovely violin may lift your soul!
♪♫
What did you say, Horned Zombie-san? You and your friends wish to sample my delicious brains? But I have just played for you! Aah, you meant that you would like to eat my brains? I don't remember any such thing in my precious letter. Because it isn't there! But on second reading, I realize that this writing doesn't look like Yuri's after all. Horned Zombie-san, I think you have deceived me! That is very cruel, trying to string me along this way. But as a mountain won't be worn down by a tiny stream, so your puny plans won't wear down the strength of my love. I suppose you are going to attack me now. Just a moment to put my violin away first, if you please~ The humidity is terrible for the wood. There now. Be prepared to face the wrath of--
Bargaining, Horned Zombie-san? Aah, you think yourself a musician? Very well, I accept the terms of your duel! If I win, I'll take your gold violin, and if you win, you may have my solo. And have no fear, Horned Zombie-san, I will win, because Kurenai Otoya is the best there's ever been!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sakubo (Iori Nakanishi)
Series: .hack//G.U.
Character Age: 11
Canon: Welcome to "the World". The year is 2017 and the MMORPG "The World" is probably the biggest source of entertainment to people of all demographics world-wide, a safe and enjoyable play experience -- or so the corporation that made it would like you to think. Instead, the truth involves viruses, artificial intelligences, artificially intelligent viruses, and more -- dangers that can even put players into comas just by coming in contact with them. The only people with the power to fight these things are a group of eight PCs with the ability to summon "Avatars". One of these eight people is a child called Sakubo. Or... two people, technically. You see, Sakubo has multiple personalities. These personalities, "Saku" and "Bo", trade off usage of the "Sakubo" PC, which changes physically in little ways to reflect subtly whether the controller is male or female.
Bo, the original personality, is quiet, self-deprecating, has fairly low self-esteem, is painfully earnest in everything he does, and is so awkward and shy around other people that it can take a huge and visible show of courage just to talk to storekeepers. In a RPG. He is almost excessively nice. And while he's working on building up his confidence, it tends to fail him still as he stammers his way through the most basic of conversations. Saku, in comparison, is sly, conniving, bitchy, and brutal. She drips self-confidence in her every action, obsesses dangerously hard over her crush (the languid bishounen "Master En"), and pretty much is willing to do anything from sucking up to hiring hitmen to get what she wants. She is perfectly happy to pick apart every failing somebody has in minute detail, and also perfectly happy to blast them in the face with her powerful magic (Naturally, she favours destructive magic like the "fireball" spell, Vak Don). Together, Saku and Bo fight crime. Or, at least, bugs in the system.
Sample Post:
...Uh... um. I.... er. I ah... ... ... E-excuse me, Mister Beastman, but I'm, um... ...I'm lost. I really ... don't know where this could be. C-can I ask you to give me a hand? ... ... Oh, not... um. Uh, don't give me a hand there, please, that's a little... N-no means no, you know, and if you don't stop, I'll... ... um... ... I don't really know, so... I guess what I mean to say is--
Hey, where do you think you're touching, you stupid bear?! Pervert! Pedo! How dare you touch me like that?! Vak Don!
Ewww, Gross! Super gross! Mega gross! Mega-super-ultra gross!! I can't believe you thought you could just get away with that! For your information, only one person in the whole world will ever be allowed to touch me, and that's Master En! If he touched me like that, I wouldn't mind. It could just be with the tips of his hair or the end of his big toe or even his shadow, but any touch of his would be like heaven~! But he's way too much of a gentleman to touch a girl my age, you know.
I can't say as much for you, you stupid pedo-bear! I bet you thought I'd "like that" or would "give in to your charms" or something like that. Hmph! You don't know the slightest thing about girls, do you? And don't even mention boys -- some stupid furry like you doesn't have the right to try poisoning my little brother like that. Going after a shy kid like him -- hah, that's right, isn't it? You went after kids like us because you're way too stupid and too ugly to ever have a chance with an adult, right? You didn't have the guts and you figured kids would be easier, like we wouldn't even notice what you were trying to do. Well, newsflash, dumbo... even kids have better taste than that! You didn't really think you could get us to pay attention to a lamer bear-suit fanatic like you, did you? You're so pathetic -- you can't get anyone to like you. It'd be sad if it wasn't so funny! So why don't you just yiff in heck, furfreak! Vak Don, Vak Don, Vak Don!!
...
... ... ...U-um. I'm sorry, Mister. My sister, um, my sister Saku really wanted to talk to you. I don't really know what happened, but -- O-oh no! Are you okay?! You look like you just got really hurt somehow! Just stay still, don't try to move. I'll get some help for you. D-don't worry about anything, Mr. Bear. I might not be much help, but I'll do my best, so you can count on me to keep you safe--
Wha--? W-where are you going?! Don't run away, it isn't safe! After all, whatever hurt you might still be nearby!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kamui Shirou.
Series: X/1999
Character Age: 15 years old.
Canon: You know how it is for some teenagers that they feel the weight of the world over their shoulders? This happens to be literally true for the main character of X/1999, Kamui Shirou. Destined to save humanity before the year 1999 ends, Kamui has but a but few months left to learn how to form a spiritual barrier known as a kekkai so that he can fight against his once best friend Fuuma on fair terms and stop this world from being completely destroyed. With this, he also hopes to make his friend go back to the sweet, kind person Kamui remembers, rather than the megalomaniac rapist god-mode he currently is.
Though at first he seems like a violent, arrogant and angry teenager, Kamui is actually a gentle, caring person not used to others being kind to him. He's socially awkward, more than a little gullible with those people he trusts and he has enough issues about being useless and being unable to protect his important people to fill up a mountain. Though, really, can you blame him? With loved ones dying left and right through every possibly traumatic way and a definite promise of more to come, it's little to no surprise that Kamui is feeling the time slipping away way too fast.
Kamui is taken at the end of volume 15.
Sample Post:
Would you please, please stop saying that you can't change fate, at least for a moment? You said that there's a woman casting the barrier around here, and I need to know where can I find her, to ask her how she's doing it.
It's weird, though - and it's more than just the shape of the barrier I'm talking about; I never would've guessed you could have a tentacle-shaped one - I don't know why she'd keep up the illusion of a place like this. I don't mean any offense, it's just that I've had dreams of the world ending that are just like this: nature taking over, rotting corpses everywhere, and--
-- no, purple gorillas and talking toucans weren't part of those dreams, and usually the rotting corpses are dead and not playing catch; though I guess those still could be signs of the world's end for someone else. But perhaps that's one of the reasons why she's so important. She might be trying to show me exactly why I'm supposed to stop this from happening and why I need to to learn to cast my own barrier.
No, I really, really don't care for other classes, as long as I can learn how to cast a barrier it's okay. Besides, names like 'Crucifixion 101', or 'So You Caused the Apocalypse', or 'Global Warming and Your Mom' kill any curiosity I might've on them; I've more than enough experience on my own. Just, can you tell me where she is? Please? Near the lake and her name is Marcy? Thanks.
Huh? Isn't that saying usually 'break a leg'? Who's ever heard of 'lose an eye' when wishing for good luck?
Character: Shirou Kamui
Series: X
Character Age: 15
Canon: The year is 1999, and the apocalypse approaches. Following the last words of his mother, Kamui returns to Tokyo to fulfill his destiny and decide the future of the world. Despite initially being moody and uncooperative, a series of tragedies forces Kamui to reevaluate his worth and his position as "Kamui", literally "one who represents the majesty of God" or "one who hunts the majesty of God." He has a choice: to become a Dragon of Heaven, or a Dragon of Earth. The goal of the Dragons of Earth is to destroy the world and allow it to be recreated, thus purifying it of all the damage humans have done, while the Dragons of Heaven wish to maintain and protect the world as it is. The two groups fight for control over Tokyo, a major key point in deciding Earth's survival.
Despite his constant misfortune and the heavy weight of his destiny, Kamui remains a kind-hearted soul who wishes to protect his friends and loved ones at all costs. Usually quiet and withdrawn, he is unwaveringly passionate about trying to protect the world from the Dragons of Earth. He's stronger than he believes, and despite having faced many catastrophes, is still surprisingly innocent and naive when placed in a new environment. He is polite, occasionally gullible, and often overwhelmed by what most take for granted: kindness and a boisterous friend.
Sample Post:
The sky this morning was grey. It looked like . . . the heavens were weeping for me. Little things kept going wrong . . . like losing my tie, snapping my shoelace, dropping a mug, and breaking my umbrella. If I were superstitious, I would guess the black rabbit that crossed my path was also a sign. I've never seen a rabbit with a waistcoat and a pocket watch before, though. I know that sounds similar to a children's book, but this rabbit didn't look like he was running late for any date, important or not. Though, I remember he was mumbling something about "he's late, he's late . . ."
Is that what he meant by "You're laaaate for a very important daaaaate"? I think yelling that as he kicked me into the rabbit hole was rather unnecessary, even if the trip was an interesting one. I didn't even know rabbits could yell. And I suppose . . . I do have a date. A date with destiny. And my destiny involves my being in Tokyo, not some sort of story -- oh, thank you. Ah . . . Did an ape really just hand me a brochure? I'm definitely sure no one ever handed Alice a brochure when she got to Wonderland. Well, the information would be useful, I guess.
"Camp Find Ur Destiny is a three-week course with a variety of training activities, including classic favorites such as Dodge the Tentacles, Capture the Zombie's Head, and Pin the Tail on the Gorilla and Run. Such games improve the campers' flexibility, stamina, and strategy, all necessary skills for survival and fate-fulfillment. Excellent psychological counseling services are provided by the resident ninjas and pirates, who assure us that the beatings will continue until morale improves. Established in 2005, CFUD is privileged to be one of the very few camps in beautiful Hell, Louisiana."
Louisiana? That's . . . America, with no immediate way back home. Camp Find Ur Destiny . . . I thought I knew my destiny. Everyone else seems to. I suppose summer camp can't be too bad. It's only three weeks, right? That's just a bit less than a month, so I'll be able to go back soon. Though it's strange that I haven't seen that many people here, but maybe it's not unusual for a place like this. The campers are all probably out training. I'll use this place to get stronger, if they're really as good as they say. I'm won't let anything happen to this world. I'll protect it with my dying will!
. . . And you are all getting too close. What you want to do with your dying wills is of no interest to me, and I really don't have time for this! If I'm stuck here, then I'm going to make the best use of my time, and spending it with zombies is not going to help. Necrophilia is not my ghoul in life! I -- Huh? What so funny?
Wait, that was wrong. I got it wrong. Ah . . . Please stop laughing and put yourselves back together. Could you all just leave? A little further away, please. Your presence lingers around here, and it won't leave me alone.
Poll Vote!