(no subject)
NEXT BATCH, tossin' this up before I run off to work.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED
Character: Kirisame Marisa
Series: Touhou Project
Age: loli looks to be around 13-14?
Canon: Somewhere in "the East" is a sealed-off land called
Gensokyo, a unique mystical microcosm. There, humans are outnumbered
by creatures of myth -- monsters, deities, maids -- and those who do
thrive have largely developed strong spiritual power to compensate.
It's only natural that a place like this sees weird misadventures and
near-disasters on a regular basis. And since the Touhou Project is a
series of shooting games, misadventures tend to culminate in flying
lolis throwing screenfuls of magic bullets at each other. Just go with
it. Kirisame Marisa is one of those many flying lolis, a young witch
who boasts vast destructive power and not much subtlety.
As a human with no inherent power, Marisa has earned her explosions
through constant, diligent study, but a retiring bookworm she is not.
Easily bored, easily amused, and hardly aware of anyone else, she
loves sticking her nose into the incident of the day, yet it's always
tricky to tell how seriously she takes any of it. Marisa invites
herself where she pleases and says what entertains her; she can be
canny, but usually she's just an ass. She's also a packrat notorious
for appropriating other people's stuff, especially anything useful to
her research, and frequently with questionable excuses. Not the kind
of girl who gets welcomed wherever she goes. Still, Marisa isn't
completely a bad person. It's absolutely hypothetically possible that
she may perhaps be able to get serious if the situation ever demanded.
When you hang out with centuries-old godlike beings and the people who
beat them up for a living, you just don't often need to worry about
anything but surviving the ride and enjoying it.
Sample Post:
Boy, they have flimsy windows here. Should I clean the pieces up...?
Nah, it doesn't look like anyone's here to see, and if there were they
should thank me for a little moonlight and fresh air. Maybe they'll
think about adding a real landing space for next time. Let's call this
a successful entry!
Okay, so what've we got here? I've seen bigger libraries. More
intimidating, too. What's the point of having ominous bloodstains and
such if you're not gonna leave lights on to see 'em? Still, it's not
too shabby... yeah, this place has got to have some things I
want to borrow! Wait, how many of these books are moving? And
aggressive? I knew I should've brought a bag or something, there's no
way I'll be able to carry many of these. I'll just have to browse for
now.
-- Or not. What's this, a 24-hour librarian? You should ask for a day
off; you're lookin' a little washed-out there, plus I can see through
you. That's not very impressive if you're supposed to be any kinda
ghost, though I did like the entrance. Is that what they call a pop-up
book? Either way, I'm glad to see a helpful face. I'm not really made
for monologue... But more importantly, you can give me a hand around
here! And if you're having problems speaking from beyond the grave,
just point me in the right direction. I'm on board with the
equal-opportunity thing.
So basically, I'm looking for the magic section. Or if you don't have
a section for it, I'll adopt whatever strays you have. Oh, stop
looking like that and just work with me here. Really, any subject that
can be turned into something nice and flashy is fine. Necromancy,
pyromancy, nuclear physics, whatever! I'll even take a book of love
spells if I have to. Actually, you can make a pretty good laser out of
love with a couple of adjustments, and there's supposed to be this
forbidden energy called UST that's even better than...
Hey, where are you going? If you don't work here, you should just say
so. This is a terrible way to treat a customer. And for the record, I
wasn't trying to sneak in, either -- I can't help it if it's dark at
night, and since I flew here the window was more convenient than the
door, right? You can't call someone a thief when she's just trying to
borrow from a library. Besides, you're dead anyway, so it wouldn't
even be a real robbery, just grave robbery. But don't you
worry, I'll make sure to take home a really nice souvenir too! Y'know,
to honor your memory.
Poll Vote!
Character: Max Guevara / X5-452
Series: Dark Angel
Character Age: 19-20
Canon: So, the US government engaged in a top secret operation to create a bunch of super soldiers for top secret missions. These soldiers were spliced with animal DNA to create perfect enhancements and raised from infantry to carry out top secret missions. One problem: the kids made a break for it from the facility holding them. Thanks to an electromagnetic pulse that went off not long after their escape, the kids managed to hide themselves in the world as it was enveloped by chaos and put under martial law. Life didn’t get any easier, as Max (formerly soldier X5-452) shows in Seattle, but it gave them some breathing room.
Let’s just say Max is our hero, the one who gets away and gets a grasp on life. Though she keeps her military training in mind, she embraces her life on the street. That means having a take-charge, confident, and straight-forward attitude. She’s just a bit pessimistic, overly sarcastic, and filled with her own brand of street slang, but that’s just how Max is. She takes control of every situation, rattling off anecdotes and making sure others know she’s in charge-even if half the time, it’s obvious she’s just talking. It’s not like she’s going to make herself seem weak. She needs those strengths to stay alive with the chaos of Seattle and her tendency to get in trouble. Some part of her doesn’t want to get mixed up in fighting the good fight, but the world needs changing and she might as well help it.
Sample Post:
So, you’re probably wondering why a girl like me has finally come around to seek the help of strong guys like you. Or gorillas-whatever the natives around these parts call big and hairy purple thugs. You see, guys, I’ve gotta bounce. I’ve come and taken your Director’s fancy tour, and I didn’t even get the info she promised me if I had a look. Sure, everything from the tentacles to the soup with the pretty bright blue eyes staring up at you to the trees covered in underwear were great attractions. And it’s all real nice, all really unique, but none of it’s really my thing-especially since I still can’t help but wonder what kind of rash you’d get from wearing that underwear.
Back home, I was a bit of a simple girl. All you needed to charm me was take me out for a beer, and I’d consider giving you a shot. You don’t gotta have too much bling bling or some radioactive water to get me going. But it seems like your Director just likes to complicate things. And it seems like some of your homeboys-you know, the other animals around here?-have been picking up some of her bad ideas. I mean, come on, if I hear one more toucan telling me about how they aren’t gonna turn around and desert me, I think I’m gonna hurl. I get it. Sheltered from the world, not a lot of cultures, but if you’re gonna try serenading a girl, get something a little more contemporary. That’s a song I’d just heard stories about, and I’m glad we lost it with the pulse.
But enough of that. See, I’m not even to the bad part, the really disturbing part in all this. You all wanna please a girl so bad that you aren’t even thinking twice before you try and prove yourself. Moment I told your parrots that their songs just aren’t cutting it, the goats tried to show them up. They didn’t even think twice before rushing the barrier to bust it open. Who was I to stop them from their stupid attempts? A couple of collisions later, and they were brainless kids again. I guess they just couldn’t take it.
I’m hoping that all this story time has been pretty eye-opening because that’s why you’re here. And since you can’t sing stupid songs, you’re the right candidates. Better than the zombies with the limbs hanging every which way. I just like my men hanging to the left, you understand? Now don’t look too eager, but I guess a couple playa-playas can’t really help themselves when they’re in the company of a fine woman like me. Don’t go getting too eager, though. I just wanna have you bust a hole, not anything else. I can’t say I’m ready for that. Even if there’s more to me than meets the eye, I don’t have what it takes when big guys like you show your really sensitive sides.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kuroyuri
Series: 07-GHOST
Character Age: Appears 12-14
Canon: Before every human is born, they make a deal with the Chief of Heaven: he will give them three wishes, and when they attain all three in their life, they will return to him. However, because they are born without memory of their wishes, many are susceptible to being tempted by the wish-granting Kor, creatures of darkness who enjoy touching and stealing souls for their own demonic god. When a Kor has collected enough souls, it gains a physical body and is called a Wars, and humans who control the Wars are called Warsfeil. Usually, Warsfeil are executed by law, but there are exceptions.
A member of the Black Hawks, the military's powerful group of Warsfeil, Kuroyuri is noticeably the youngest member of the group, and not just because of his youthful appearance. He can be rather blunt, and has the tendency of getting a bit emotional over subjects that hit close to home, sometimes losing sight of the objective. Luckily, he has someone to rely on and to- Oh, wait, that person's not around anymore. Despite losing someone important to him, Kuroyuri handles himself very well, being very efficient. He is quite clever, though a lot of what he does has a childish cruelty to it. But come on, stitching people up is a completely healthy way to pass the time, especially when you're not always interested in the world around you. Constantly smiling (and not always for the right reasons), Kuroyuri carries a poor view of humanity and the world around him. To top it off, you guessed it, Kuroyuri can behave rather childishly at times, but people rarely notice this past his penchant to kill things to solve his problems.
Sample Post:
This place isn't any good at all. The Wars here can't even keep their bodies together-they're all green and rotting. I came to see the Warsfeil here, the Director, but her name was a lie. She can't direct, and you can tell because it's not just the Wars who don't know what they're doing. They even let animals run things-gorillas in human clothes! And they're almost as incompetent as a real human.
By the white vehicle they had a stand for cake, although the gorilla didn't look like it had any, and it wouldn't respond when I asked him questions about this place. I think it meant to show me it had something in the vehicle, but that was suspicious. Stupid, who would go into something like that without knowing what was inside? In the end it got aggressive, so I had to kill it. I doubt anyone would care since there were so many, and nothing of importance was lost. There were other gorillas after that too, but all of them kept trying to give me candy. They were distracting, so I had to kill a few more of them before they finally ran off. It took them a while to get it; they were dumb animals with candy, after all. Still, they wasted a lot of my time when I'm supposed to be finding the Director. She might be a Warsfeil who's doing it wrong, but hiding for three years straight? Sneaky. I bet she wouldn't want to be found out either, which is why she has so many gorillas all over the place as a distraction. Of course, I don't want to have to find her on foot when none of the wildlife wants to comply. Maybe I could use the vehicle from before... Driving doesn't look too hard. I doubt I could make this place more of a mess than it already is anyways.
It was somewhere around here, right? I see the stand, but not the gorilla corpse. Things die when they're killed, and they should stay that way-I wasn't messy when I did it, I know that. It's too bad you can't see the corpse anymore; it must have been the Director interfering somehow. There's no point in reanimating the dead when they're better off that way and giving Wars bodies better suited for the dead. This Director has it backwards. Though I guess the gorilla was useful after all; its purple fur sticks out, and it left a trail of that when it went to the white vehicle before, so I can just follow that. It's pretty secluded, if you think about it, out in the back of the woods. I don't get what it was trying to do by parking it so far away from the buildings, but it was also one of those dumb animals, so I guess you can't really expect much from it. ... Or any of them, apparently. I see the vehicle, and now I see another gorilla wearing clothes. If it's the same one as before, it's stupid enough to approach me twice. But this time it has signs instead of candy. Let's see- "I can help you," "Just do me a favor," "Look for the-"
...Keh, that doesn't make any sense. Why would there be candy in your pants?
Poll Vote!
Character: The Republic of Korea, a.k.a. Im Yong Su
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Either 89 or 4,341, depending on who you ask. Appears 15~16.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia--what's that all about? Officially, it follows the anthromorphizations of various countries and their journeys throughout history as we know it, calling attention to the little quirks and flaws that make the world go 'round. But if you happened to ask a certain peninsula nation to the east what Hetalia is indeed all about (and please do, he's a little desperate for the attention), he'd just say that it was about Korea. In fact, everything is about Korea in Korea's mind.
At his core, Korea is respectful of traditional values (stubbornly old-fashioned), passionate (frighteningly obsessive), and determined (annoyingly persistent). Compared to his other Asian peers though, he's youthfully energetic (obnoxious and immature), vigorous (perverted), and enthusiastic (overly competitive). His hobbies include claiming things as his own inventions, pissing off Japan, making huge jumps in logic, and talking about how Korea is number one in everything...hey, there's nothing wrong with a little patriotism--just ask America!
Note: "Uri nara mansae" can be roughly translated into "Korea FUCK YEAH."
Sample post:
Whooooa, of all my times studying abroad, I've never been to a place like this! A special kind of summer camp, huh? You know, summer camps originated in Korea! That's totally true, so I think that means I should be boss of this place! It's only right that the eldest gets to make the rules, and being the inventor of summer camps, that definitely makes me the oldest one around here!
First things first, everyone raise their arms to cheer! We're cheering for Korea here, so make it a good one! One, two, thr--oh, whoa! Some of you guys' arms just fell off! Man, I guess they just don't make people here like they do in Korea...so feeble! Real flimsy! Haaaaah, so this camp can't even afford to feed you well enough to keep you from just floppin' all over the place? That's pretty pathetic. Don't worry about it though, since I'm your boss and all that now. You can call me Big Bro! And Big Bro takes care of all his little siblings. Just look at how huge China is! Who do you think is responsible for that? It's me, ahahaha!
Okay, Camp Fuck You Die! Wow, how racy! Awesome! That totally means I can do XXX here, right? Originally I came here to study abroad, but now it's clear that you need to be reformed. If you just listen to me, everything will get way better real fast. Fast like a Hyundai car, and that's really freaking fast. Not to mention very easy to control, extremely safe, affordable, and cool-looking! 'Cause Hyundai, that's a Korean brand.
So, before I get down to business here, let's give it one more go! Yeah, one more for glory! For Korea! I'm sure we can do it this time, I can feel it. Especially you there with the tentacles, the octopus kid, you better give it all you got. Of course I can tell you what to do! I'm the boss, and besides, tentacle monsters originated in Japan and Japan originated in me. And you scrawny undead folk--pick up your friends' arms and legs if you have to, 'cause we're going for the gold! We need all the appendages we can get! We'll show everyone who's the greatest around here. The campiest! The fuckiest! The youiest and the dieiest! We can't be beat! Don't forget, Big Bro is watching you! One, two, and a three--
URI NARA MANSAAAAAAEEEEEEE--!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Minagi Harimoto
Series: Urooboe Uroboros
Character Age: high school aged
Canon: When a sister loves another sister very much, she gets super overprotective. In the case of Harimoto Minagi, 'overprotective' means 'beats everything who might possibly look at her little sister in the wrong way to a bloody pulp'. People shake in fear of her, in fact they literally hide under their desks and pretend they don't know anyone who might have gotten on her bad side.
Minagi is very much a demanding person. She can destroy concrete with a marker, beat up an entire kendo team and her specialty is the 'deadly twin-tail', a lovely pair of nunchucks. Minagi doesn't talk to people: she talks at them and expects them to comply. While she may ask politely and does remember certain points of courtesy, she will also invite herself along on her little sister's date and all potential boyfriends of said sister must be approved. Approval meaning something like complete compliance, of course.
Sample Post:
To the so-called 'Audience of Camp Fuck You Die' I pose one question. You may answer with yes or I'll do it. Do not give me such a blank stare, the knowledge of the question is mostly unnecessary. And there is little need for a third option, I believe my opinion has covered all possible perspectives of interest. If there is dissent, we may speak after I am done telling everyone else what to do. I will create an alternative plan of action for the dissenter and them alone. Everyone else will comply. Your answer?
Your silence tells me a few things about you. Perhaps you consider this to be too strict. I have been told in the past that I come off as demanding. Rest assured that this is no demand, as I am imploring you to please consider the options in front of you and to respond wisely. I do not threaten or condone violence as a levy for people who disagree with me -- but it is often inevitable that we come to blows.
Please stop speaking gibberish, it is hard enough to negotiate with you people without your inane phrasing impeding our conversations. While I am sure that someone among you bends to the demands of a weak person who moans "dame dame" and "wai wai," I cannot say that I will be moved by these statements.
Let me bring this to your attention as well. Any further cries of marriage will be swiftly silenced. I do not approve of that method of wooing at all. If you are to approach me on the subject please do so tomorrow, I have some free time then. And do it properly, I expect gifts and poetry. Proper love poetry.
As I was humbly requesting from you. I, Harimoto Minagi, need to leave this filthy place. Your assistance will be accepted with gratitude. You may answer with yes or, and this is my first attempt at your bizarre choice in phrasing Iyaaa, sobold.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kakizaki Kokera
Series: Urooboe Uroboros
Age: Second year in high school, so around 17
Canon: Besides being a fun tongue-twister, Urooboe Uroboros is also the name of a one-shot manga about a fictional local legend. According to this town legend, a few years ago a fighter named Uroboros would appear wherever there was a brawl, single-handedly bringing the fight to an end without anyone seeing his face. Stories also says that the spirit of this fighter now resides in Harimoto Minagi, a senior at the local high school and a figure to be feared due to her overwhelming military strength and forceful personality. Kakizaki Kokera, a recent transfer student, becomes the unfortunate love target of Harimoto Tobari, Minagi's younger sister and sole reason for fighting, marking his (unwilling) entrance into their world.
Kakizaki is definitely on the passive end of the personality spectrum, often finding himself with his back literally against the wall when confronted with anything more aggressive than an angry kitten. Granted, aggression is pretty much the only way to keep his attention; his tendencies to think out loud, hold small conversations with himself, and tune out whatever he's not particularly interested in make it hard to keep a conversation for over two minutes. That isn't to say that Kakizaki doesn't have his own thoughts and opinions, but his half-hearted way of sharing them tends to get drowned out by just about everything else. Despite the seemingly apparent lack of an attention span, Kakizaki's ((past experiences?)) have left him alert and sharp, picking up on the little physical details of things with a few murmured comments to no one in particular. A bad habit, he claims it to be, but when about 50% of the things he does are also claimed to be bad habits, it's really hard to tell how seriously you can take him.
Sample Post:
Kakizaki half-heartedly reporting to say I did what you asked me to do. What you told me to do would be the more accurate thing to say in this case, but I'm very much aware that you don't like to go into details about that sort of thing. As aware as I am of how large and far reaching your tentacles are. No, wait, there's no need for another demonstration, I have the items you sent me for. The seven boxes of gloves and slippers, a heart-shaped floating pillow with "I love Marcy forever because she made me" on it, two mixed CDs, and your very large toothbrush. There were dark stains on the pillow when I received it, so I put it in a plastic bag to bring it here. ... But then the plastic bag melted and I thought it best to abandon it entirely. I'll go back for it once I've found something that won't corrode upon touch to the stains. It may take a while.
... This is a strange way to go about things though, isn't it. Break ups are a common thing I've been led to believe, but usually they don't involve putting someone in mortal peril just to get a few belongings back. Carrying those packages through the woods wasn't the problem; I found the creatures that lived there were. A warning about the ones that looked and acted suspiciously like man-eating zombies would have been appreciated. Any sort of warning in general would have been appreciated. I suppose it was in my favor that walking very fast delayed the problem, but by the end there was one large problem to deal with and... I won't bother to go into the details. The problem, and the consequent ones following it, were dealt with, but I would like to ask if the tears in my clothes could be repaired. Some psychological treatment for trauma would be nice as well, but I can do without.
I will say that somehow, after becoming a delivery boy in all of this, I've started wondering about why such a close couple ended in the first place. Maybe it was the ferocity of your former lover's family trying to keep me away from your things over there. Or why your former lover's family consisted of a herd of metal cows, but the logistics of that is something I've been trying not to think about. This curiosity is a bad habit of mine though, you don't have to bother with it- ... ah.
Relationships do get complicated when it comes to wanting a baby, or they're supposed to. Me? I have no experience myself, I'm still in high school, but I could imagine if I wanted to though there's no particular desire to. I could see where the problem would arise between a robotic cow and a... you. I wouldn't have been able to suggest any solutions other than adoption, but I can't see how any sort of baby raised in this sort of situation will come out resembling anything close to normal. So I'll move away from that conversation to say that all of your things have been delivered, as well as this note that I was told to hand over once I was able to move a safe distance away. This was about the only suggestion I received today that sounded acceptable so I don't mind listening to it. It's been an experience working for you, though I don't think I can say it's been an enjoyable one. But as we agreed, I've finished my work so it's time for me to go.
... No, I have no interests in becoming Romantic Interest #68. Nor #69. ... Nor in the connotations of that number please let me go.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED
Character: Kirisame Marisa
Series: Touhou Project
Age: loli looks to be around 13-14?
Canon: Somewhere in "the East" is a sealed-off land called
Gensokyo, a unique mystical microcosm. There, humans are outnumbered
by creatures of myth -- monsters, deities, maids -- and those who do
thrive have largely developed strong spiritual power to compensate.
It's only natural that a place like this sees weird misadventures and
near-disasters on a regular basis. And since the Touhou Project is a
series of shooting games, misadventures tend to culminate in flying
lolis throwing screenfuls of magic bullets at each other. Just go with
it. Kirisame Marisa is one of those many flying lolis, a young witch
who boasts vast destructive power and not much subtlety.
As a human with no inherent power, Marisa has earned her explosions
through constant, diligent study, but a retiring bookworm she is not.
Easily bored, easily amused, and hardly aware of anyone else, she
loves sticking her nose into the incident of the day, yet it's always
tricky to tell how seriously she takes any of it. Marisa invites
herself where she pleases and says what entertains her; she can be
canny, but usually she's just an ass. She's also a packrat notorious
for appropriating other people's stuff, especially anything useful to
her research, and frequently with questionable excuses. Not the kind
of girl who gets welcomed wherever she goes. Still, Marisa isn't
completely a bad person. It's absolutely hypothetically possible that
she may perhaps be able to get serious if the situation ever demanded.
When you hang out with centuries-old godlike beings and the people who
beat them up for a living, you just don't often need to worry about
anything but surviving the ride and enjoying it.
Sample Post:
Boy, they have flimsy windows here. Should I clean the pieces up...?
Nah, it doesn't look like anyone's here to see, and if there were they
should thank me for a little moonlight and fresh air. Maybe they'll
think about adding a real landing space for next time. Let's call this
a successful entry!
Okay, so what've we got here? I've seen bigger libraries. More
intimidating, too. What's the point of having ominous bloodstains and
such if you're not gonna leave lights on to see 'em? Still, it's not
too shabby... yeah, this place has got to have some things I
want to borrow! Wait, how many of these books are moving? And
aggressive? I knew I should've brought a bag or something, there's no
way I'll be able to carry many of these. I'll just have to browse for
now.
-- Or not. What's this, a 24-hour librarian? You should ask for a day
off; you're lookin' a little washed-out there, plus I can see through
you. That's not very impressive if you're supposed to be any kinda
ghost, though I did like the entrance. Is that what they call a pop-up
book? Either way, I'm glad to see a helpful face. I'm not really made
for monologue... But more importantly, you can give me a hand around
here! And if you're having problems speaking from beyond the grave,
just point me in the right direction. I'm on board with the
equal-opportunity thing.
So basically, I'm looking for the magic section. Or if you don't have
a section for it, I'll adopt whatever strays you have. Oh, stop
looking like that and just work with me here. Really, any subject that
can be turned into something nice and flashy is fine. Necromancy,
pyromancy, nuclear physics, whatever! I'll even take a book of love
spells if I have to. Actually, you can make a pretty good laser out of
love with a couple of adjustments, and there's supposed to be this
forbidden energy called UST that's even better than...
Hey, where are you going? If you don't work here, you should just say
so. This is a terrible way to treat a customer. And for the record, I
wasn't trying to sneak in, either -- I can't help it if it's dark at
night, and since I flew here the window was more convenient than the
door, right? You can't call someone a thief when she's just trying to
borrow from a library. Besides, you're dead anyway, so it wouldn't
even be a real robbery, just grave robbery. But don't you
worry, I'll make sure to take home a really nice souvenir too! Y'know,
to honor your memory.
Poll Vote!
Character: Max Guevara / X5-452
Series: Dark Angel
Character Age: 19-20
Canon: So, the US government engaged in a top secret operation to create a bunch of super soldiers for top secret missions. These soldiers were spliced with animal DNA to create perfect enhancements and raised from infantry to carry out top secret missions. One problem: the kids made a break for it from the facility holding them. Thanks to an electromagnetic pulse that went off not long after their escape, the kids managed to hide themselves in the world as it was enveloped by chaos and put under martial law. Life didn’t get any easier, as Max (formerly soldier X5-452) shows in Seattle, but it gave them some breathing room.
Let’s just say Max is our hero, the one who gets away and gets a grasp on life. Though she keeps her military training in mind, she embraces her life on the street. That means having a take-charge, confident, and straight-forward attitude. She’s just a bit pessimistic, overly sarcastic, and filled with her own brand of street slang, but that’s just how Max is. She takes control of every situation, rattling off anecdotes and making sure others know she’s in charge-even if half the time, it’s obvious she’s just talking. It’s not like she’s going to make herself seem weak. She needs those strengths to stay alive with the chaos of Seattle and her tendency to get in trouble. Some part of her doesn’t want to get mixed up in fighting the good fight, but the world needs changing and she might as well help it.
Sample Post:
So, you’re probably wondering why a girl like me has finally come around to seek the help of strong guys like you. Or gorillas-whatever the natives around these parts call big and hairy purple thugs. You see, guys, I’ve gotta bounce. I’ve come and taken your Director’s fancy tour, and I didn’t even get the info she promised me if I had a look. Sure, everything from the tentacles to the soup with the pretty bright blue eyes staring up at you to the trees covered in underwear were great attractions. And it’s all real nice, all really unique, but none of it’s really my thing-especially since I still can’t help but wonder what kind of rash you’d get from wearing that underwear.
Back home, I was a bit of a simple girl. All you needed to charm me was take me out for a beer, and I’d consider giving you a shot. You don’t gotta have too much bling bling or some radioactive water to get me going. But it seems like your Director just likes to complicate things. And it seems like some of your homeboys-you know, the other animals around here?-have been picking up some of her bad ideas. I mean, come on, if I hear one more toucan telling me about how they aren’t gonna turn around and desert me, I think I’m gonna hurl. I get it. Sheltered from the world, not a lot of cultures, but if you’re gonna try serenading a girl, get something a little more contemporary. That’s a song I’d just heard stories about, and I’m glad we lost it with the pulse.
But enough of that. See, I’m not even to the bad part, the really disturbing part in all this. You all wanna please a girl so bad that you aren’t even thinking twice before you try and prove yourself. Moment I told your parrots that their songs just aren’t cutting it, the goats tried to show them up. They didn’t even think twice before rushing the barrier to bust it open. Who was I to stop them from their stupid attempts? A couple of collisions later, and they were brainless kids again. I guess they just couldn’t take it.
I’m hoping that all this story time has been pretty eye-opening because that’s why you’re here. And since you can’t sing stupid songs, you’re the right candidates. Better than the zombies with the limbs hanging every which way. I just like my men hanging to the left, you understand? Now don’t look too eager, but I guess a couple playa-playas can’t really help themselves when they’re in the company of a fine woman like me. Don’t go getting too eager, though. I just wanna have you bust a hole, not anything else. I can’t say I’m ready for that. Even if there’s more to me than meets the eye, I don’t have what it takes when big guys like you show your really sensitive sides.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kuroyuri
Series: 07-GHOST
Character Age: Appears 12-14
Canon: Before every human is born, they make a deal with the Chief of Heaven: he will give them three wishes, and when they attain all three in their life, they will return to him. However, because they are born without memory of their wishes, many are susceptible to being tempted by the wish-granting Kor, creatures of darkness who enjoy touching and stealing souls for their own demonic god. When a Kor has collected enough souls, it gains a physical body and is called a Wars, and humans who control the Wars are called Warsfeil. Usually, Warsfeil are executed by law, but there are exceptions.
A member of the Black Hawks, the military's powerful group of Warsfeil, Kuroyuri is noticeably the youngest member of the group, and not just because of his youthful appearance. He can be rather blunt, and has the tendency of getting a bit emotional over subjects that hit close to home, sometimes losing sight of the objective. Luckily, he has someone to rely on and to- Oh, wait, that person's not around anymore. Despite losing someone important to him, Kuroyuri handles himself very well, being very efficient. He is quite clever, though a lot of what he does has a childish cruelty to it. But come on, stitching people up is a completely healthy way to pass the time, especially when you're not always interested in the world around you. Constantly smiling (and not always for the right reasons), Kuroyuri carries a poor view of humanity and the world around him. To top it off, you guessed it, Kuroyuri can behave rather childishly at times, but people rarely notice this past his penchant to kill things to solve his problems.
Sample Post:
This place isn't any good at all. The Wars here can't even keep their bodies together-they're all green and rotting. I came to see the Warsfeil here, the Director, but her name was a lie. She can't direct, and you can tell because it's not just the Wars who don't know what they're doing. They even let animals run things-gorillas in human clothes! And they're almost as incompetent as a real human.
By the white vehicle they had a stand for cake, although the gorilla didn't look like it had any, and it wouldn't respond when I asked him questions about this place. I think it meant to show me it had something in the vehicle, but that was suspicious. Stupid, who would go into something like that without knowing what was inside? In the end it got aggressive, so I had to kill it. I doubt anyone would care since there were so many, and nothing of importance was lost. There were other gorillas after that too, but all of them kept trying to give me candy. They were distracting, so I had to kill a few more of them before they finally ran off. It took them a while to get it; they were dumb animals with candy, after all. Still, they wasted a lot of my time when I'm supposed to be finding the Director. She might be a Warsfeil who's doing it wrong, but hiding for three years straight? Sneaky. I bet she wouldn't want to be found out either, which is why she has so many gorillas all over the place as a distraction. Of course, I don't want to have to find her on foot when none of the wildlife wants to comply. Maybe I could use the vehicle from before... Driving doesn't look too hard. I doubt I could make this place more of a mess than it already is anyways.
It was somewhere around here, right? I see the stand, but not the gorilla corpse. Things die when they're killed, and they should stay that way-I wasn't messy when I did it, I know that. It's too bad you can't see the corpse anymore; it must have been the Director interfering somehow. There's no point in reanimating the dead when they're better off that way and giving Wars bodies better suited for the dead. This Director has it backwards. Though I guess the gorilla was useful after all; its purple fur sticks out, and it left a trail of that when it went to the white vehicle before, so I can just follow that. It's pretty secluded, if you think about it, out in the back of the woods. I don't get what it was trying to do by parking it so far away from the buildings, but it was also one of those dumb animals, so I guess you can't really expect much from it. ... Or any of them, apparently. I see the vehicle, and now I see another gorilla wearing clothes. If it's the same one as before, it's stupid enough to approach me twice. But this time it has signs instead of candy. Let's see- "I can help you," "Just do me a favor," "Look for the-"
...Keh, that doesn't make any sense. Why would there be candy in your pants?
Poll Vote!
Character: The Republic of Korea, a.k.a. Im Yong Su
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Either 89 or 4,341, depending on who you ask. Appears 15~16.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia--what's that all about? Officially, it follows the anthromorphizations of various countries and their journeys throughout history as we know it, calling attention to the little quirks and flaws that make the world go 'round. But if you happened to ask a certain peninsula nation to the east what Hetalia is indeed all about (and please do, he's a little desperate for the attention), he'd just say that it was about Korea. In fact, everything is about Korea in Korea's mind.
At his core, Korea is respectful of traditional values (stubbornly old-fashioned), passionate (frighteningly obsessive), and determined (annoyingly persistent). Compared to his other Asian peers though, he's youthfully energetic (obnoxious and immature), vigorous (perverted), and enthusiastic (overly competitive). His hobbies include claiming things as his own inventions, pissing off Japan, making huge jumps in logic, and talking about how Korea is number one in everything...hey, there's nothing wrong with a little patriotism--just ask America!
Note: "Uri nara mansae" can be roughly translated into "Korea FUCK YEAH."
Sample post:
Whooooa, of all my times studying abroad, I've never been to a place like this! A special kind of summer camp, huh? You know, summer camps originated in Korea! That's totally true, so I think that means I should be boss of this place! It's only right that the eldest gets to make the rules, and being the inventor of summer camps, that definitely makes me the oldest one around here!
First things first, everyone raise their arms to cheer! We're cheering for Korea here, so make it a good one! One, two, thr--oh, whoa! Some of you guys' arms just fell off! Man, I guess they just don't make people here like they do in Korea...so feeble! Real flimsy! Haaaaah, so this camp can't even afford to feed you well enough to keep you from just floppin' all over the place? That's pretty pathetic. Don't worry about it though, since I'm your boss and all that now. You can call me Big Bro! And Big Bro takes care of all his little siblings. Just look at how huge China is! Who do you think is responsible for that? It's me, ahahaha!
Okay, Camp Fuck You Die! Wow, how racy! Awesome! That totally means I can do XXX here, right? Originally I came here to study abroad, but now it's clear that you need to be reformed. If you just listen to me, everything will get way better real fast. Fast like a Hyundai car, and that's really freaking fast. Not to mention very easy to control, extremely safe, affordable, and cool-looking! 'Cause Hyundai, that's a Korean brand.
So, before I get down to business here, let's give it one more go! Yeah, one more for glory! For Korea! I'm sure we can do it this time, I can feel it. Especially you there with the tentacles, the octopus kid, you better give it all you got. Of course I can tell you what to do! I'm the boss, and besides, tentacle monsters originated in Japan and Japan originated in me. And you scrawny undead folk--pick up your friends' arms and legs if you have to, 'cause we're going for the gold! We need all the appendages we can get! We'll show everyone who's the greatest around here. The campiest! The fuckiest! The youiest and the dieiest! We can't be beat! Don't forget, Big Bro is watching you! One, two, and a three--
URI NARA MANSAAAAAAEEEEEEE--!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Minagi Harimoto
Series: Urooboe Uroboros
Character Age: high school aged
Canon: When a sister loves another sister very much, she gets super overprotective. In the case of Harimoto Minagi, 'overprotective' means 'beats everything who might possibly look at her little sister in the wrong way to a bloody pulp'. People shake in fear of her, in fact they literally hide under their desks and pretend they don't know anyone who might have gotten on her bad side.
Minagi is very much a demanding person. She can destroy concrete with a marker, beat up an entire kendo team and her specialty is the 'deadly twin-tail', a lovely pair of nunchucks. Minagi doesn't talk to people: she talks at them and expects them to comply. While she may ask politely and does remember certain points of courtesy, she will also invite herself along on her little sister's date and all potential boyfriends of said sister must be approved. Approval meaning something like complete compliance, of course.
Sample Post:
To the so-called 'Audience of Camp Fuck You Die' I pose one question. You may answer with yes or I'll do it. Do not give me such a blank stare, the knowledge of the question is mostly unnecessary. And there is little need for a third option, I believe my opinion has covered all possible perspectives of interest. If there is dissent, we may speak after I am done telling everyone else what to do. I will create an alternative plan of action for the dissenter and them alone. Everyone else will comply. Your answer?
Your silence tells me a few things about you. Perhaps you consider this to be too strict. I have been told in the past that I come off as demanding. Rest assured that this is no demand, as I am imploring you to please consider the options in front of you and to respond wisely. I do not threaten or condone violence as a levy for people who disagree with me -- but it is often inevitable that we come to blows.
Please stop speaking gibberish, it is hard enough to negotiate with you people without your inane phrasing impeding our conversations. While I am sure that someone among you bends to the demands of a weak person who moans "dame dame" and "wai wai," I cannot say that I will be moved by these statements.
Let me bring this to your attention as well. Any further cries of marriage will be swiftly silenced. I do not approve of that method of wooing at all. If you are to approach me on the subject please do so tomorrow, I have some free time then. And do it properly, I expect gifts and poetry. Proper love poetry.
As I was humbly requesting from you. I, Harimoto Minagi, need to leave this filthy place. Your assistance will be accepted with gratitude. You may answer with yes or, and this is my first attempt at your bizarre choice in phrasing Iyaaa, sobold.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kakizaki Kokera
Series: Urooboe Uroboros
Age: Second year in high school, so around 17
Canon: Besides being a fun tongue-twister, Urooboe Uroboros is also the name of a one-shot manga about a fictional local legend. According to this town legend, a few years ago a fighter named Uroboros would appear wherever there was a brawl, single-handedly bringing the fight to an end without anyone seeing his face. Stories also says that the spirit of this fighter now resides in Harimoto Minagi, a senior at the local high school and a figure to be feared due to her overwhelming military strength and forceful personality. Kakizaki Kokera, a recent transfer student, becomes the unfortunate love target of Harimoto Tobari, Minagi's younger sister and sole reason for fighting, marking his (unwilling) entrance into their world.
Kakizaki is definitely on the passive end of the personality spectrum, often finding himself with his back literally against the wall when confronted with anything more aggressive than an angry kitten. Granted, aggression is pretty much the only way to keep his attention; his tendencies to think out loud, hold small conversations with himself, and tune out whatever he's not particularly interested in make it hard to keep a conversation for over two minutes. That isn't to say that Kakizaki doesn't have his own thoughts and opinions, but his half-hearted way of sharing them tends to get drowned out by just about everything else. Despite the seemingly apparent lack of an attention span, Kakizaki's ((past experiences?)) have left him alert and sharp, picking up on the little physical details of things with a few murmured comments to no one in particular. A bad habit, he claims it to be, but when about 50% of the things he does are also claimed to be bad habits, it's really hard to tell how seriously you can take him.
Sample Post:
Kakizaki half-heartedly reporting to say I did what you asked me to do. What you told me to do would be the more accurate thing to say in this case, but I'm very much aware that you don't like to go into details about that sort of thing. As aware as I am of how large and far reaching your tentacles are. No, wait, there's no need for another demonstration, I have the items you sent me for. The seven boxes of gloves and slippers, a heart-shaped floating pillow with "I love Marcy forever because she made me" on it, two mixed CDs, and your very large toothbrush. There were dark stains on the pillow when I received it, so I put it in a plastic bag to bring it here. ... But then the plastic bag melted and I thought it best to abandon it entirely. I'll go back for it once I've found something that won't corrode upon touch to the stains. It may take a while.
... This is a strange way to go about things though, isn't it. Break ups are a common thing I've been led to believe, but usually they don't involve putting someone in mortal peril just to get a few belongings back. Carrying those packages through the woods wasn't the problem; I found the creatures that lived there were. A warning about the ones that looked and acted suspiciously like man-eating zombies would have been appreciated. Any sort of warning in general would have been appreciated. I suppose it was in my favor that walking very fast delayed the problem, but by the end there was one large problem to deal with and... I won't bother to go into the details. The problem, and the consequent ones following it, were dealt with, but I would like to ask if the tears in my clothes could be repaired. Some psychological treatment for trauma would be nice as well, but I can do without.
I will say that somehow, after becoming a delivery boy in all of this, I've started wondering about why such a close couple ended in the first place. Maybe it was the ferocity of your former lover's family trying to keep me away from your things over there. Or why your former lover's family consisted of a herd of metal cows, but the logistics of that is something I've been trying not to think about. This curiosity is a bad habit of mine though, you don't have to bother with it- ... ah.
Relationships do get complicated when it comes to wanting a baby, or they're supposed to. Me? I have no experience myself, I'm still in high school, but I could imagine if I wanted to though there's no particular desire to. I could see where the problem would arise between a robotic cow and a... you. I wouldn't have been able to suggest any solutions other than adoption, but I can't see how any sort of baby raised in this sort of situation will come out resembling anything close to normal. So I'll move away from that conversation to say that all of your things have been delivered, as well as this note that I was told to hand over once I was able to move a safe distance away. This was about the only suggestion I received today that sounded acceptable so I don't mind listening to it. It's been an experience working for you, though I don't think I can say it's been an enjoyable one. But as we agreed, I've finished my work so it's time for me to go.
... No, I have no interests in becoming Romantic Interest #68. Nor #69. ... Nor in the connotations of that number please let me go.
Poll Vote!