Yay! Part VI! *Jumps around like spastic cheerleader*
I liked it! You're evil, though, for leaving on a cliffhanger. Anyway, only one suggestion I could make is that it seemed like you just kind of copied and pasted some scenes with the POV-changes. You might want to try to spice it up a bit by rewriting here and there to make it more interesting. Other than that, though, it was really good.
I was trying to rewrite them. I guess it wasn't quite enough. They seemed a bit mechanical as I wrote, but since this was all off the cuff, I wasn't quite sure what to change. I'm planning on going back and editing this part. Maybe even to the point of giving it a minor overhaul.
Yay! *glomp* So, they finally revealed the big-humongo-gigantic secret. I wonder how the others would take it...oh, one more thing. it's just nice to know someone is actually reading the stuff I post. Of COURSE we read what you write silly. One more thing...it's pretty good, but I'd make it flow a little more, mostly between POV changes.
Hmmm... I think I subconsciously made it abrupt precisely because it was a POV change. *ponders**is actually doing an edit/rewrite/overhaul as I type this comment* I can work with that...
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More? *puppy eyes*
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I liked it! You're evil, though, for leaving on a cliffhanger. Anyway, only one suggestion I could make is that it seemed like you just kind of copied and pasted some scenes with the POV-changes. You might want to try to spice it up a bit by rewriting here and there to make it more interesting. Other than that, though, it was really good.
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Of COURSE we read what you write silly. One more thing...it's pretty good, but I'd make it flow a little more, mostly between POV changes.
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