I'm so sorry, Erin. I'm so sad and outraged on your behalf. I am so sick of the bullshit excuses guys make to avoid intimacy, once they've already gotten all our hopes up and led us on. It's a crime, really.
I realize that Matt has a serious mental health issue, but EVERYONE has problems, and baggage, some worse than others. However, if someone is motivated enough, they can try to work through their issues to function better and more productively in life and in relationships.
Please take away something positive from this experience - you are sexy and attractive and desirable. You will find another guy who feels that way about you, you will. You told me not to give up hope and I'm telling you now not to give up hope. You really never know what's just around the corner.
You can and will get through this. I'm rooting for you!!!
I realize that Matt has a serious mental health issue, but EVERYONE has problems, and baggage, some worse than others. However, if someone is motivated enough, they can try to work through their issues to function better and more productively in life and in relationships.I know. But...he really isn't well. I spoke to him on the phone on Wednesday, while he was quite drunk, and he told me he was thinking that the only way he could be truly happy with if he was six feet under. Ie if he committed suicide. He told me yesterday that he couldn't keep dating me because of what it would do to me if he killed himself. I know that he's really unstable mentally. And, I thought we could make it. But I guess it's too much for him right now
( ... )
Oh Erin, I'm so so sorry you have to go through this. But you are being very smart and mature about the whole thing. Matt's problems are even more serious and frightening than I realized. I really hope he gets the help he needs. If it feels right to you to stay friends with him for now, then go with your gut. If not, then you've done the best you could to support him during a very difficult time, but now you have to move on and take care of yourself
( ... )
I'm so sorry that things didn't work out the way you'd hope. That really sucks.
I know it's hard to believe right now, but it really and truly is better to be on your own than with the wrong person. And with the very serious mental health issues this guy has to deal with, frankly, he almost definitely isn't the right person. I've been with depressed people and I've been the depressed one. It just doesn't work, even if two people care about each other a lot. Sure everybody has problems that they can use as an excuse to be alone, but that is a very different situation than serious mental instability. I'm sure it doesn't seem this way at the moment, but breaking up now probably saved you from far worse pain in the long run.
And I agree with what Andrea said. What you should take from this is that someone found you beautiful and sexy and wonderful. So will someone else.
Oh, I'm so sorry. That sucks and we love you. Any time you want to come over here and chat to me and Nik and swap music or dance or whatever, please feel welcome and there will be hugs.
One thing I take away is that I'm kinda impressed with all the romantic things you were doing or planning - midnight picnics, concerts, doing a course together. That is just so imaginative and so sweet (a bit beyond what I could come up with) and I wanted to say I admire it.
You're wrong about something. You are NOT alone. You're never alone.
In less than a month we can drink and curse guys and giggle and I'll take you by Rockefeller Center even though there's no ice skating at this time of year.
You are strong and you will get through this. That's a promise.
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I'm so sorry, Erin. I'm so sad and outraged on your behalf. I am so sick of the bullshit excuses guys make to avoid intimacy, once they've already gotten all our hopes up and led us on. It's a crime, really.
I realize that Matt has a serious mental health issue, but EVERYONE has problems, and baggage, some worse than others. However, if someone is motivated enough, they can try to work through their issues to function better and more productively in life and in relationships.
Please take away something positive from this experience - you are sexy and attractive and desirable. You will find another guy who feels that way about you, you will. You told me not to give up hope and I'm telling you now not to give up hope. You really never know what's just around the corner.
You can and will get through this. I'm rooting for you!!!
Reply
I realize that Matt has a serious mental health issue, but EVERYONE has problems, and baggage, some worse than others. However, if someone is motivated enough, they can try to work through their issues to function better and more productively in life and in relationships.I know. But...he really isn't well. I spoke to him on the phone on Wednesday, while he was quite drunk, and he told me he was thinking that the only way he could be truly happy with if he was six feet under. Ie if he committed suicide. He told me yesterday that he couldn't keep dating me because of what it would do to me if he killed himself. I know that he's really unstable mentally. And, I thought we could make it. But I guess it's too much for him right now ( ... )
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I know it's hard to believe right now, but it really and truly is better to be on your own than with the wrong person. And with the very serious mental health issues this guy has to deal with, frankly, he almost definitely isn't the right person. I've been with depressed people and I've been the depressed one. It just doesn't work, even if two people care about each other a lot. Sure everybody has problems that they can use as an excuse to be alone, but that is a very different situation than serious mental instability. I'm sure it doesn't seem this way at the moment, but breaking up now probably saved you from far worse pain in the long run.
And I agree with what Andrea said. What you should take from this is that someone found you beautiful and sexy and wonderful. So will someone else.
Reply
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One thing I take away is that I'm kinda impressed with all the romantic things you were doing or planning - midnight picnics, concerts, doing a course together. That is just so imaginative and so sweet (a bit beyond what I could come up with) and I wanted to say I admire it.
Reply
In less than a month we can drink and curse guys and giggle and I'll take you by Rockefeller Center even though there's no ice skating at this time of year.
You are strong and you will get through this. That's a promise.
Reply
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