Forget to Remember
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Title: Forget to Remember
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Buffy, Faith
Emotion: Blank
Spoilers: Set during after season 3's 'Enemies'.
Summary: Buffy contemplates Faith's betrayal.
Buffy told herself that the information they gained from tricking Faith had been valuable.
"You played me! You played me!"
She shut her eyes against the sound of Faith's voice, so angry and so hurt, echoing in her mind. Hadn't Faith been playing them for months? She thought of the flicker of pain behind the brunette's eyes as she talked about her mom, and how she'd been an alcoholic and abusive. She thought of how Faith, even while preparing to torture her, and looked like she wanted for her so badly to care.
She thought about the shiver that ran up her spine when Faith pressed her lips to her forehead before running away. Hadn't she been wondering for a while how Faith's lips would feel? She knew now that they were soft, but unyielding. Burning. Didn't Buffy's forehead burn, like she bore the Mark of Cain?
She thought about how Faith had gone through so much trouble to hurt her. To punish her. Part of her wondered why. The rest of her already knew. She thought about the guilt written on Angel's face. The remorse. Always so remorseful.
She thought about how Faith could possibly turn to the other side. And then she wondered how she couldn't.
Buffy thought about how she should be feeling something, be it anger, sadness, guilt, pain, anything.
But inside she felt absolutely nothing. She couldn't. Her heart and mind couldn't handle it. And part of her was grateful, because when she did allow herself to feel, she knew it would be terrible and some small part of her would die. And so instead she sat on the rooftop outside her window, as she had so many times the past few years, and acknowledged that somewhere inside a fire had gone out.
Title: Forget to Remember
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Buffy, Faith
Emotion: Blank
Spoilers: Set during after season 3's 'Enemies'.
Summary: Buffy contemplates Faith's betrayal.
Buffy told herself that the information they gained from tricking Faith had been valuable.
"You played me! You played me!"
She shut her eyes against the sound of Faith's voice, so angry and so hurt, echoing in her mind. Hadn't Faith been playing them for months? She thought of the flicker of pain behind the brunette's eyes as she talked about her mom, and how she'd been an alcoholic and abusive. She thought of how Faith, even while preparing to torture her, and looked like she wanted for her so badly to care.
She thought about the shiver that ran up her spine when Faith pressed her lips to her forehead before running away. Hadn't she been wondering for a while how Faith's lips would feel? She knew now that they were soft, but unyielding. Burning. Didn't Buffy's forehead burn, like she bore the Mark of Cain?
She thought about how Faith had gone through so much trouble to hurt her. To punish her. Part of her wondered why. The rest of her already knew. She thought about the guilt written on Angel's face. The remorse. Always so remorseful.
She thought about how Faith could possibly turn to the other side. And then she wondered how she couldn't.
Buffy thought about how she should be feeling something, be it anger, sadness, guilt, pain, anything.
But inside she felt absolutely nothing. She couldn't. Her heart and mind couldn't handle it. And part of her was grateful, because when she did allow herself to feel, she knew it would be terrible and some small part of her would die. And so instead she sat on the rooftop outside her window, as she had so many times the past few years, and acknowledged that somewhere inside a fire had gone out.