Comments | britpoptarts: Is It Just Me?

britpoptarts

Is It Just Me?

Apr 21, 2008 05:54

I believe I've already mentioned my living situation on here. I live in my late grandmother's house, which, when she died, was left to my mother. The house is a ramshackle mess, as my grandmother did not allow any repairs to be made to it for decades, repairs it desperately needed. In addition to my mother letting herself in without ever calling ( Read more... )

parental angst, crazy, stress, frustration

Comments 18

nesmith April 21 2008, 12:10:16 UTC

Is there any reason you can't change the locks or put a padlock inside the door so she can't come in? (I know that wouldn't stop her coming over but it would stop the bursting in unannounced.) This might not be an option so if it isn't, just ignore that ( ... )

britpoptarts April 23 2008, 04:37:49 UTC

Since I don't own the house, changing the locks is not an option, and I'd just have to pass on the keys to the owner (my mother) upon demand, anyway. I couldn't re-key her car locks, either, even if she let me use her car all the time. Same thing ( ... )

floopyboo April 21 2008, 12:21:50 UTC

Wow. I dumped my mother for being less emotionally manipulative than that. Well actually she was probably moreso, but I never got the health-related emotional blackmail bullshit from her.

I didn't put up with it. But now I have fuck all I'll call family. I think it's a win, but I guess that's for you to decide on your own.

dean_italiano April 21 2008, 14:21:18 UTC

"Now, do I call her..."

I would. You've got a lot of shit going on and you obviously have to pick your battles because you're not going to win all of them. I would call her and tell her that unless she can tell you more *details* about what's happening to her and her health, you can't stay awake all night. Make her tell you, or make her understand that you WILL NOT BE awake. Even if you end up staying up worrying, she doesn't have to know, and she should not have the option to control that part of your life - at least!

I'd start with that and continue to work on the other craziness as you go along. In the meantime, good luck with your school stuff!

rintheamazing April 21 2008, 15:25:22 UTC

I agree with this.

britpoptarts April 21 2008, 16:09:02 UTC

I called. She's fine. Her "back hurt." Well, weh, I have chronic back pain and I deal with it. ARGH!!

I DO REFUSE TO GET ROPED INTO STUPID SHIT 90% OF THE TIME, BUT you TRY TO SLEEP WITH FLOORS BEING RIPPED UP AND DOORS MOVED AND REFRIGERATORS BEING JUGGLED AROUND.

Oops, caps lock. I wasn't shouting at y'all. Honest.

I am praying that "studio day" means I can turn around and come back home and nap before class #2, because I am ahead of my page allotment for my animation project. I only need ten more to complete the drawing bit. I have to do some techy stuff tomorrow, but that's not too hard.

mt_straycat April 21 2008, 17:44:10 UTC

Oh yeah, I don't miss the crazy-parent-manipulation games AT ALL. Been there, done that, still have the scars and the therapy.

For one thing, you need to IGNORE the "stay by the phone all night" requests. You are not an ambulance. If she has a serious health problem that needs urgent attention, that is what 9-1-1 is for. If she refuses to utilize it? That is her choice, and you cannot change it or be responsible for the consequences.

As for the workmen wandering around, other than a swing bar on the inside of the doors (they could unlock the doors, but would not be able to open them; you can install yourself for less than $10), the alternative is to grit your teeth until you can move out and escape her reach.

In the meantime, just keep reminding yourself how good it will feel when you get through this period in your life, move somewhere else, and get away from the manipulation and intrusiveness. It DOES get better, believe me.