The only serious commentary I have would be in the pacing of certain elements. George is very genial when he tries to explain what he's doing on the field, and instantaneously goes straight to his depression once the guy kicks him out, which feels a bit abrupt. He drives up to his house, and the ball hits his car; he suddenly appears outside the car (way too fast), but the kids don't seem to realize that they've hit his car with their baseball until he actually looks up at them. I'm no failed baseball player, but it also strikes me as a little strange that he throws only two baseballs in his backyard before deciding that things are hopeless
( ... )
totally agree with your pacing comments, but they're mostly due to the 5:30 time restriction the class puts on us. I would've wanted him to protest/fight more before leaving the field (though I think that's a little extraneous to the actual story), we had him actually getting out of the car (it added an unnecessary 4 seconds), and we had him throwing 3 baseballs, not two (2 felt short, 3 feels more natural, but we didn't have that extra 15 seconds or so). with the kids, that's my lazy fault; I wanted to record the kids actually talking about him ("oh my god, you hit it! you deal with it!" etc.) but never got around to it, so I had to use crap from the sound library
( ... )
Ah, a 5:30 time restriction. In that case, I would have considered cutting the part where the kids hit his car with the baseball entirely (as well as the "Early Retirement" title, which I didn't really feel was necessary). It would have given you the extra seconds you needed to have him throw three baseballs, and it would have heightened the surprise of the baseball shattering the window just as he was about to take the pills (whereas here, it's more of an "oh right, they're still having trouble holding onto the damn baseball" type thing when it first happens).
Also, John has an excellent point about George contemplating suicide in a very short time.
Anyway, good stuff. See if Kevin Costner is available for a sequel...actually, no, just stick with the guy who played George.
Actually, cutting the kids at the beginning might be the best idea i'd never heard. I had always seen it as a plant, to keep the baseball at the end from seeming like too much of a deus ex machina. But in hindsight, it should've gone.
I understand that time restrictions made the pacing awkward, but then again you should have chosen an idea that fit within 5:30. Having a character contemplate suicide is something that would, I feel, take at least 5 minutes in and of itself.
I do feel like the score fit to a sports-themed piece (in that it built to a typical inspirational few measures where a pitcher would make a winning throw). And I liked the actor who portrayed George.
I feel like the idea itself is a little overplayed (athlete loses championship, contemplates suicide), but the direction of photography was good.
Too lazy to do a full-on analysis, but to be short, I really liked it. I thought the lead actor had a great weathered face. And I kind of liked the smug grin on the kid's face--like he's saying to his friend, "haha sucker, you deal with this one." Anyway, I'm impressed! anne
Click to view
Comments 15
Reply
Reply
Also, John has an excellent point about George contemplating suicide in a very short time.
Anyway, good stuff. See if Kevin Costner is available for a sequel...actually, no, just stick with the guy who played George.
Peace,
Matt
Reply
Screw Kevin Costner. I want clint eastwood.
Reply
I do feel like the score fit to a sports-themed piece (in that it built to a typical inspirational few measures where a pitcher would make a winning throw). And I liked the actor who portrayed George.
I feel like the idea itself is a little overplayed (athlete loses championship, contemplates suicide), but the direction of photography was good.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment