001; Video

[biebercut]

[The video starts recording, with a muscled teen boy with bottle blond hair having just turned the camera on and backing up so that it can record him. He's in a bedroom, which doesn't look like it has any other tenants. The boy figures he can use the room to get himself together and boy does he need it. He definitely looks like he's seen better

Comments

[audio]

[exiled_torch]

Listen, this is going to sound crazy, and it is crazy, but you aren't in any of those places.

People here call this mansion "Wonderland." It grabs people from different worlds and spits them out here.

There isn't a way out. Believe me, I've tried.

[audio]

[biebercut]

...whoa. That's intense.

So, wait, is that like...a TARDIS, multi-dimensional travel kind of deal? Or Marvel thing where like...the Scarlet Witch alters reality or something?

[audio]

[exiled_torch]

[wait wat]

I don't know what you're talking about, but no one knows exactly how we get here.

[audio]

[biebercut]

Oh...

You know, if it were a Time Lord thing, you'd probably know about it, so I'm guessing more along the lines of the Scarlet Witch. More magic than science, you know?

[itsahotone]

[Oh hey. It's The Boyfriend. It's not that Santana doesn't like him, and he's a good kisser (with a mouth that huge, it better be good for something), but she's not overjoyed to see him. She'd rather have Brittany.]

Hey, guppy-face. Welcome to Hell.

Not the usual Lima-Hell, either.

[biebercut]

Yeah, I noticed that. I thought I was still asleep for a minute, but then I figured people don't usually have hangovers while they're still asleep. I also don't usually dream about you. Actually, I tend to have more dreams about like...Captain America or stuff like that.

[Straightest man in the world.]

[itsahotone]

Wow, you say the sweetest things. [EYEROLL]

Whatever; here's the deal, okay, so listen closely. You're in Wonderland, which means you're stuck and you can't get back home to your comic books and blue people fetish. Some people we know are here, others aren't. If you ever get lucky enough to go home, you won't remember any of this crap, but you might come back. I did.

Check the closet and get whatever the hell you want from there, same with the kitchen. Blah blah, the place tortures us all the time, etc etc, any questions?

[biebercut]

...I don't have a fetish.

[Priorities.]

[thisisherson]

[Kurt stares at the screen like he has no idea what to make of this disheveled person before him. Because really, he doesn't. I mean, just look at that blond dye job. And he's a complete mess. But he mentioned Rachel, and a party, and Ohio, so he automatically assumes it's that party he keeps hearing about. There's obviously only one Rachel in the entire state, and obviously Rachel's reputation would never allow her to have a second party.]

You aren't in Ohio or Las Vegas. ...Or The Hangover.

[biebercut]

[He doesn't seem to be paying attention at first - he's poking around at things in his new room, particularly around the desk. When he hears Kurt talk, he perks his head up - almost like a puppy and goes back to the camera to actually, you know...hold a conversation.]

Oh, hey, Kurt.

[thisisherson]

...Hi.

[Sorry, Sam. He has no idea who you are. Like, not even a little bit. He's clearly trying really hard to think about it, but he's coming up with absolutely nothing.]

I take it we've met before?

[Suddenly this is the most awkward conversation ever.]

[biebercut]

...Uh, yeah, dude. We go to school together? Come on, it's me. Sam. I mean...I know you're kinda closer to Mercedes and Tina, but like...I thought we were pretty tight, too.

[isntitgrand]

No, Sam, you're in Wonderland, if no one has cleared that up yet.

We're basically stuck here until the Queen, the one who put us here, brings us home.

But hey! Look on the bright side! We-

[... Wait. What?]

Wait a minute, when did I have a party? A wild party...?

[biebercut]

Yeah, it was pretty crazy, I mean...you made out with that Blaine kid. And sang a duet with him, which I get the feeling is like...the equivalent of you two adopting a kid together or something.

It was last night, though. I mean, you were pretty schnockered, but I didn't think you had that many drinks...

1/2

[isntitgrand]

[ STARESTARESTARE]

2/2

[isntitgrand]

[And then, there is uncontrollable laughter coming from Rachel. Blaine? Yeah, okay, sure. When pigs fly.]

Made out with Blaine? And sang with him? Sam, Blaine is gay, very much so. And the idea of me even considering throwing a party involving drinks is just absurd.

Nice try though, Sam. You're too funny.

Video

[epiccombo]

Okay, here's what you need to know: this place's called Wonderland and there's no way to leave.

Oh, and you can get free stuff from the closets and free food in the dining room.

[He looks for a second like he wants to warn him about the events, especially the ones that end with orange juice, but he'll save that for another time.]

Video

[biebercut]

Puck! Hey, dude...Santana and some random dude that takes himself way too seriously filled me in, so...yeah. Got that covered...

Video

[epiccombo]

Anyone mention how messed up this place is?

Video

[biebercut]

Yeah...Santana kind brought it up, but she didn't really go into detail...