Comments | belenen: on disrespect, winning people with politeness, and being a "real" activist.

belenen

on disrespect, winning people with politeness, and being a "real" activist.

Apr 28, 2014 19:41

Last week I embroiled myself in an argument about the use of slurs (which is normal for me) and was careless about my tone (which is quite out of character for me). The person responded by critiquing my tone and ignoring my argument, telling me that I was being disrespectful and I wasn't going to win any people to my cause with that attitude. ( Read more... )

writing prompts, tone criminal, the essential belenen collection, social justice / feminism, those passing through

Comments 30

itsjustc April 29 2014, 16:52:03 UTC

This is a very thought provoking read. I really enjoyed it.

slammerkinbabe April 29 2014, 17:47:52 UTC

Ugh, tone-policing. Derailing 101!

The fact that there are people in this world who defend the use of slurs is beyond me. Sadly, the recent Twitter explosion over "tranny," and the pile-on attacks some trans people suffered, has made it very clear to me that there are plenty of people who do it.

And "real activist" talk is bullshit.

jem0000000 April 29 2014, 18:36:59 UTC

*hugs*

belenen April 29 2014, 19:59:23 UTC

I don't understand this response. I don't feel a need for comfort.

jem0000000 April 29 2014, 21:43:06 UTC

Oh, sorry.

belenen April 30 2014, 01:20:46 UTC

it's not a problem, it just confused me.

halfshellvenus April 30 2014, 03:00:32 UTC

I do not need to live up to your standards for oppression to be harmful: that is an objective fact, and it is your job to realize it, not my job to teach you.
I had never thought of it this way, but it's utterly true.

There is a great deal of emphasis on "style," but an argument/position that is utterly wrong... is still wrong.

I very much liked the distinction here between rudeness and disrespect. That also matters.

i_17bingo April 30 2014, 05:54:39 UTC

What's implied here is "if you were a REAL activist you wouldn't be rude."

Oh, I'm sorry that I made you mildly uncomfortable. It totally equals hundreds of years of being denied jobs, the right to vote, and dignity. It's totally the same as words used as weapons to make others feel less than human. It's totally the same as worrying about the way you dress or how much you drink or what music you listen because someone might rape or shoot you, and you'll be the one who has your reputation shredded while your attacker walks away with no consequences. Totally the same.

Fuck these people.