The First Chapter of a Novel of MIne

[balladbird]

My lack of love for the Fantasy genre was pretty big talk amongst my friends in high school, some of whom were the stereotypical D+D nerds you see everywhere. ^^ When I was a sophomore in high school, one such friend insinuated that that the reason I disliked fantasy so much was because I didn't have the ability to write the genre. I took this as a

Comments

[lady_leia_solo]

You can try www.fictionpress.com for your story. But for now LJ will serve. Personally I like it very much. Dameon interests me though. I'm waiting to see where this story will go! Good job and the business of happiness. I'll post more thoughts later on.

[balladbird]

fictionpress, eh? I shall look into that! I know FF.net had an original fiction section years upon years ago... I'm sad to see it was discontinued.

Also, thank you for your insights. ^^

[grrlgamer4ever]

Wow, you're really good with words! *is jealous*

I got to the end and I was like "Nooooo I want more." ^__^

I saw a few spacing issues but I assume that's more to do with LJ formatting then with your writing.

So, in summary, I like what you have going, and I personally would keep reading if you wrote more. ^_^

[karasunomai]

What a captivating writing style! I think you said one time that you especially put stock into describing the physical aspects of your stories, and I think this was a great example of that. Everything was described in perfect detail; I especially liked your description of the Fisherman's Saint near the beginning. The contented sound like a mysteriously awful bunch... if you continued this piece of work, I'd like to know more about them. And Dameon's 'game' that he plays for himself sounds like in interesting aspect of his character... like some dark piece inside him that will bring trouble later. =O

Anyway, awesome job balladbird! I wish I could set up settings and characters like you could. xD

[balladbird]

You can rest assured that everything is foreshadowing for something or another. ^^ A first chapter should always strive to explain as little as possible.

If I decide to continue, I'll likely post subsequent chapters on LJ, though I'll friend-only them.

[imaginara]

It’s not bad. I found the beginning a bit of boring, but it becomes more interesting towards the middle. The world gives the impression of being undefined, though that’s quite normal since we haven’t seen much of it yet. And, I don’t know whether it’s intentional or not, but that church sounds to me like something really, really bad. xD

Dameon’s character has potential. If it does not fall into typical fantasy cliches, it’ll sure be a good story!

[shukketsusakura]

i remember reading this a long time ago...
i loved it.