Comments | azurenightmare: Wow, man.

azurenightmare

Wow, man.

Feb 20, 2005 20:44

Wow. It seems I've gotten into a habit of only updating once every three or so months. That's terrible. Well, I'm not quite sure this is going to be a very long post. I'm going to school. Yay. That's about it. Life is just, going on. Pretty well, actually. There are the ups and then there are the downs, but all in all, I'm pretty happy. Some people ( Read more... )

Comments 5

.....the past....((present....and future))...nothing there? rippanther1 February 21 2005, 04:45:31 UTC

I guess I could write in your Lj..no need to post in mine I suppose.

Think whatever you want about
Some people around me aren't, but that's my fault. I seem to make many people unhappy.

Even when I do tell you it's not entirely true, you still can't come to reason and believe me? What's the point of me being here any more? You never listen to me, you never talk to me about your problems and when you do..it's more so yelling and frustration than any talking. What am I even here for? Am I nothing to you any more? Why didn't I tell you I just wanted to buy toilet paper? Do you see how you were "talking/yelling" at me? Why would I want to talk to you..even just about toilet paper?? I couldn't do anything but cry while you were just lashing out at me. What am I supposed to do now? What?? No, life isn't that fucking horrible, okay? But it's not a fucking walk in the park with you either. They aren't helping. Things will get better...once we're out of here..yes. "Why are you still with me?""Are you that unhappy?"....I'm with you because I ( ... )

This made me cry.... rippanther1 February 21 2005, 04:59:05 UTC

For two years, three months, and fourteen days, as I count, I've been with her. What we've had is... was, wonderful. I'm not gonna go over why she, or we... whatever. Why the end came. I can't see as it is. I really don't need to be like I was the past two or three days, but I already am, so, feh. Well, anyway. What I've had with her I've never had with anyone else. No one. And I'll make sure I never have anything like it again. When it's ripped away from me, I can't understand. I can't take that sort of pain and rejection, either. She said to me, in response to a note, where I replied as "Lonely Dove", she said to me, "You'll never be lonely." I couldn't help but feel a pang within myself. I wanted to chuckle, but couldn't. As I was driving home, listening to DJ Special K's rave mix, I said, "Single, woo!" After thinking about that I said, "Single...Lonely." Yeah. I'm alone, and that's not a problem. Being alone is sometimes good. But... I'm alone, yes... I'm lonely, however. She was... so much to me. Now I'm so much poorer. Yeah. ( ... )

Re: This made me cry.... azurenightmare February 21 2005, 15:54:44 UTC

How are what you want to say and think different? Try to explain it to me... Yeah. Last night was no fun, for anybody. I was definitely being an asshole. Aside from that, I could understand why you'd be pissed, depressed, and sad, after reading those. Eh. They're not the greatest. What can I say? I've changed. Do I really not want... what? Don't 'nevermind' me. Tell me. "Do you really not want a relationship with me?" I want you to answer that question. It should be an easy, and fast answer. As for you not taking her place, you never could. And you never will. Don't try, either. Taking her place is something I want you to never do... If you were to take her place, you would put me through even more pain. I don't want another experience with an unfaithful person like her. So, I'm glad you'll never take her place. Taking her place would mean you'd cheat on me, and make everything worse. I'm glad you see that you could never take her place, and thank the gods you won't... That's enough of that. Yeah, that post was obviously right after ( ... )

Re: This made me cry....Continued azurenightmare February 21 2005, 15:55:20 UTC

I know you were crying. It should be a damn walk in the park with me. A joyous little romp. Every day should be a new little walk in the park. We need to make it that way. I know that they aren't helping. It's not a fucking so-called family. We ARE a family, okay? Jilted, yes. Fucked up, maybe. We have our share, their share, and more than enough to go around, but when it comes down to it, we love each other. My dad may be charging rent, and I'm not gonna debate why, but he is. This family does love you. Felicity... eh, she's a bitch. What can I say? Not much. But my mother and father do love you. If they didn't, you wouldn't be here. I guarantee you that. I smile to make everyone happy, too. And no, I won't/am not giving up. If I did, you would know it. I won't say I'm unhappy at times, everyone is. I won't lie ( ... )

Re: This made me cry....Continued rippanther1 February 21 2005, 18:21:59 UTC

..no need to edit it. I'm not pissed about it. For once, I'm reading something from you straight from your heart ((I hope..no lies)). I'm reading something from your mind, without all of the fancy editing and bla. I want to read/hear things like that. I don't know what else to say. I guess I could answer your question..

"Do you really not want a relationship with me?"
Well, answer it for me too. Kay?? Yes, I do want a relationship with you..that's why I'm still here trying everything I can to keep you. So what if I'm jealous of every moving thing that you look at? ^.^ Oh well, that's who I am. So what if I never want you to go out ever with anyone unless I'm with you!?! Heh, just kidding with that one. BUT...I DO want to be with you where ever you go..most places anyways. Heh. And yes..I'm sure you already know that I don't want you to smoke, but you're not going to listen to me anyways. Oh well, guess I'm screwed on that one ( ... )