Comments | avphibes: Who am I? I am both nobody and somebody.

avphibes

Who am I? I am both nobody and somebody.

Oct 03, 2009 21:31

So part of where my thought process came from in the previous post is the fact that, everything I've done for the past few years, even if i got paid for it, hasn't felt particularly "real." If you've been reading for awhile, you've surely noticed that every year since 2005, I've described my activities as "dicking around."

What happened in 2005 ( Read more... )

success, credentials, art, indecision, dicking around, work

Comments 41

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avphibes October 4 2009, 16:52:23 UTC

But fainting goats are so cute!

Maybe we should start a "getting our shit together" support group.

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avphibes October 4 2009, 18:51:16 UTC

yeah, I like dicking around, too. I'm just trying to figure out how to make it feel somewhat purposeful.

_asriel_ October 4 2009, 19:01:36 UTC

I think I feel the same way. Like I used to have a really clear idea of who I was, what I was doing, and how I was doing it. I'm baffled about what happened to that.

gordonzola October 5 2009, 18:29:50 UTC

It's funny, this entry resonates with me because I am on the beginning edge of that trajectory. I have a book coming out in March and while I will stand behind the words that will be published, they clearly want to market *me*. I get it -- I probably should have thought of that before I wrote a memoir -- but its unsettling, especially when I can see how true things get simplified and therefore exaggerated in the way you describe.

There is pressure to try to live up to the hype that they want to create but I kinda came to the revelation that I don't want to be America's Cheese Guy which was what my first publisher clearly wanted. (I pulled the book from them for other reasons but, upon reflection I'm even more glad I did). I got caught up in it for a few months -- being recognized for creative work can really go to one's head -- but I think I have a better perspective now. I hope so.

Anyways, thanks for sharing this.

avphibes October 5 2009, 18:48:43 UTC

And thank you for writing this.

Yeah, the world of entertainment loves to brand people. At the height of my "incognito" period I was miffed that there is so little creative work that one can "Get out there" while maintaining anonymity.

Whatever I end up being, I realize that I will probably be Diablo-Cody-fied into some one-sentence novelty, which irks me, but is the way things go.

Although I feel like being "the cheese guy" is not that bad a burden... or is it?

gordonzola October 5 2009, 18:59:29 UTC

not such a bad burden, no. But it's where it leads... do I start doing things to heighten my "brand" which might lead to more lucrative -- if mindless -- opportunities? Or do I just stay happy working at an amazing local institution and writing on the side. If I go the direction (that there is some pressure for) of heightened personal exposure so that I could make a living in ways that are easier on my body, what will my writing be saying? It makes it super hard to get artistic things done but having a day job also keeps me honest and gives me perspective.

I don't really think its this black and white, mind you, I'm just drawing out the parallels. Trying to be aware so I can make smart decisions if the need ever arises. Though really I should just worry that I'm going to sell any copies, really... ;)

avphibes October 5 2009, 19:01:37 UTC

I'll buy one. You're a good writer and I like cheese.

Thread 7

thetathrees October 5 2009, 19:20:06 UTC

I think the NY Times called you an 'illustrator' yesterday. Anyways, I used to read you, and popped back in to see what you're up to, so congrats on your newfound healthier approach to all this...

avphibes October 5 2009, 19:42:05 UTC

Thanks... Yeah, "illustrator" is relatively inoffensive.

capitalism_yeah October 5 2009, 23:07:16 UTC

RE Nepotism

I saw your work for that campaign, and your work rocked.
This is what drives me nuts about people with some benefits in life - y'all DOUBT that you earned those benefits, and jealous freaks confirm that for you.

Can't you just let your work speak for itself, already? Your work was good. 'Nuff said.

capitalism_yeah October 5 2009, 23:09:42 UTC

another way to think about this - look, all a blood relative or family friend can DO is get you an introduction. The rest is up to you and your ability to perform.

If you think about life from that perspective, lady, my going to Harvard means *everything* is nepotism for me now. Right? Because the H-bomb gets me the interview/introduction every time. But the rest is up to me.

You rock.

(PS: this is the blogger formerly known as westcoaster)

avphibes October 6 2009, 17:24:31 UTC

Ahhhh! I still have your mix CD, btw. So are you a big fancy lawyer, now ( ... )