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Comments 11

melchar June 17 2010, 21:28:26 UTC
So very awesome! The wait was worth it! [thank you]

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auronlu June 18 2010, 01:33:33 UTC
Huzzah, some of y'all are still with me ( ... )

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vandevere June 18 2010, 02:27:00 UTC
This update caught me off guard, it came right out of the blue. What a pleasant surprise...

I loved when Rikku scolds Auron, and Pacce is scandalized, but Auron just laughs; *REAL* laughter, kinda put me in mind of the game, where Tidus tells Auron it's all his fault Tidus in now in Spira. He starts off chuckling there too, but ends in rolling laughter...

Vandevere

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auronlu June 18 2010, 07:43:54 UTC
Yes, you got it. That was exactly the laugh I was trying to describe. It's odd -- Auron is so gruff and tight-lipped, yet he spends an awful lot of the game laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. Usually more of a wry chuckle, but that one time he let loose.

I wanted to give him a reason to laugh before the end.

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melchar June 18 2010, 20:15:14 UTC
Having read it again, there is only one weensie thing to suggest. Putting single quotes around 'are we there yet' - as:

At last, just when Rikku's third 'are we there' yet had reminded Auron that Yuna's pilgrimage was filled with annoyances as well as laughter, Pacce spotted a monumental stone cupola in the distance.

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auronlu June 20 2010, 23:48:21 UTC
Thankye!

I've picked up many of Tolkien's bad habits, including the odd practice of using italics for snippets of dialog.

*fixes*

*peers*

Fooey. Now it looks wrong.

*edits again*

I think I know why I did that. My grasp of grammar is unfortunately somewhat instinctive, but I was trying to do this:

"Whenever a word is being used to refer to the word itself, not the thing it represents, we put it in italics." -- Source

Use italics for "words and letters that are referred to as words or letters" (Gibaldi 95). For example, write "The term American Indian is inclusive of over 500 Federally recognized ethnic communities."
--MLA crib sheet

I'm not sure if mine is an appropriate application of the rule. I know I tend to overuse italics.

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ravenclaw_devi June 19 2010, 02:22:52 UTC
I really like your Rikku voice.

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