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[auntbijou]

I am very, very upset right now, and it's like... for the stupidest reason but...

My mom is selling her house. This isn't why I'm upset, though it's connected, and well, yeah, I'm a little upset about that. After all, my parents bought that house sixty years ago, and have lived there ever since. I grew up in that house. And I worry that

Comments

[karadin]

I know how you feel about the table, because I wanted my grandmother's kitchen table, and I have it, but only because no one else in the family wanted it.

If you are named in a will, it is your table, hold your mother to the promise or you will always be angry about it and it will effect your relationship with your sister hereafter, and let your mom and sister know that. You have to stick up for yourself, if no one else does.

[auntbijou]

I've talked to Mom, who told me she had just talked to the Flaky Sister, who had called because she was worried that she had hurt my feelings about the table.

I kinda waited for the sky to fall at that point. Or something to explode. You know what I mean. Anyhow, I've gotten things straightened out with my mom and my sister, and I'll be getting the table. and you're right about sticking up for myself, I've just been so conditioned to back down where my sisters are concerned that it's automatic for me to step back. I've got to get past that, I mean, I'm forty-six years old, fer gossakes! *shakes head*

[panthyr]

*hugs*

[auntbijou]

*sniffles and clings*

[avashida]

DDDDDDDD:

If it means that much to you, AND it was promised to you, you should go get snarly! If they already think you're whiny or w/e, this won't change their opinion, but you'll regret it if you don't even try.

*major hugs*

[auntbijou]

Yeah, see, it's the whiny thing that's my Achilles heel. I hate sounding whiny, and I hate it even more when I'm NOT being whiny... but my sisters accuse me of it. *thunk* Oh, I hate that!

But it has been resolved (hopefully), mostly by my sister realizing that she had hurt my feelings, and also realizing that when Mom eventually passes on, there won't be much holding us together except mutual resentment and petty arguments. I think she also realized that I've had about as much as I'm willing to swallow. So... I'm getting the table. *sigh*

[avashida]

I think you're sensible enough to know you're not really being whiny. If something's important to you, then it matters enough to, in a manner of speaking, fight for it. That's not whinging, and you shouldn't worry about being whiny when you're not. Ultimately, it's your opinion of yourself that matters, no one else's. Definitely not sisters'.

I'm happy for you :)

[potion_lady]

*squishes tight* I don't think it's a stupid reason at all, you being upset over this. You've every right to be upset, especially since you made it quite clear that you wanted the table.

Sometimes it really sucks being the youngest. My sisters are 9, 10, and 13 years older than I am, so I definitely understand your aggravation and hurt.

I would tell you that perhaps if you explained just how much the table means to you your sister would change her mind and allow you to have it. But...knowing older sisters the way I do, and the smugness you mentioned in her voice, your explanation may make things worse rather than better.

I'm sorry I don't have any helpful words for you, lovely Auntie. But I do understand your hurt and can definitely sympathize.

[auntbijou]

You know, you do know exactly where I'm coming from, and it helps just to know that! My sisters are 13 (the Blonde Sister) and 15 (the Flaky Sister) years older than me, so for me, they've always been adults. And always been people I had to listen to. I didn't have one mom, I had THREE. So you throw that into the mix and it just complicates things further!

Funnily enough, the Flaky Sister called Mom tonight and said she was afraid she might have hurt my feelings about the table (duh!!) because I sounded a little cool toward her before I hung up the phone. And to tell me that if I wanted the table, I could have it. So, I told Mom that yes, I wanted it, and reminded her that she had told me I could have it. So... I will be getting the table.

I'm just glad it worked out this way. Ten years ago, it would have been a much different story!

[potion_lady]

*cheers* Oh, I'm so glad that things have worked out!

Oh, yes, I had four mothers growing up. And even now I feel the need to defer to their "greater wisdom," even when they don't know any more than I do.

*smirks wickedly* And, I just have to say that with your happy ending it's really nice to know that, when they have to, older sisters can behave like adults!

[brumeux77]

I'm so glad it worked out well. If only because I had no wisdom to share, only sympathy. My experience when my mother died was as far from this as can be imagined.

*hugs*