May 16, 2010 01:32
Title: Bad Reputation
Genre: Crack. Humor.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Siwon friendship.
Summary: Because some people are just to good at winning, and because others are just nerds. Based of of the song 'Bad Reputation' by Half-cocked.
Put Siwon and gangster in the same sentence and try to stop yourself from laughing. About as hard core as he gets is being a cuddle whore. We forgive him, because of his abs, but all he gets is an A for effort on the gangster count. Still better than my psychology grade . . .
---
Bad Reputation
---
Siwon hadn’t realized that everything was wrong with his life until Kyuhyun barged into his room and declared that it was so. In fact, his day, his week, and his month had been going rather well. His fans loved him, the camera loved him, and most importantly, all his hyungs and dongsaengs loved him (some more than others, which was only right).
He said as much to Kyuhyun - they were both probably two of the most popular members of the group - what was so wrong with that?
“But I was lurking in the forums this morning, waiting for my raid group to get online, and they were talking about our reputations! Everyone loves Kangin now that he’s got his DUI, and they always loved Kibum for looking like an angry American gangster. Even Ryeowook is getting more scandalous because of his ‘Insomnia’ dance! Siwon, we can’t go on like this!”
“Like how? Not causing problems for our hyungs?”
“Like having this perfect, squeaky clean good-boy attitude! Act a little promiscuous, spike up your hair-” Siwon put up a hand to block Kyuhyun’s as he reached out to mess with his hair.
Kyuhyun backed off, dropping his hand. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night - bags under his eyes and hair wild. “How long has this been bothering you?”
“All night, hyung!” Kyuhyun cried, waving his hands in the air and pacing. “You don’t understand - No one thinks we’re badass. I’m not allowed to publish any of my character information from Starcraft so no one knows how much ass I kick, and no matter how many times you flex your muscles and show off your abs, all anyone can think of when they see you is how much of a gentleman you are. You don’t even get naked pictures in the shower for people to talk about. You’re an alterboy, and this world just can’t understand my greatness. So we’re going to need to find things that they can understand. Like numbers.”
There was Kyuhyun’s fundamental error - who in a crowd of screaming fangirls cared about numbers? What they wanted was Abs, Abs, Abs! and Kyuhyun lived in a world that had everything to do with essential stats and character sheets and probably dice and little game pieces. “Numbers aren’t going to help you lose the stigma,” Siwon sighed. “And I am way more badass than you are.”
“That just shows how much you know. Numbers can give you the best reputation ever. And by best I mean worst.” Kyuhyun finally plopped down onto the bed next to Siwon, looking creepily intense, with his wide eyes underscored by heavy, dark splotches, his jeans and t-shirt too loose and his socks missing. Siwon tried to figure out why the image was so familiar.
Or that was what he was going to try to do when Kyuhyun said the most ridiculous thing Siwon had ever heard (that included when Heechul had said ‘We can just have a threesome.’ But the difference was that Heechul’s idea would work. Kyuhyun’s would not).
“We need to learn how to count cards.” Siwon just sort of gaped at him. Kyuhyun must have sensed his protestations, because he continued, “It’s that, or we get involved in the mafia.”
“You probably got both of these ideas from The Hangover! Honestly, are you insane? Just start coming to the gym with me and take off your shirt at a couple of concerts, and we’ll have your image problem cleared up in no time.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve seen what happens to people you try to make gangster. I won’t be your next victim.”
“Kyuhyunnie, get some sleep before you start sounding anymore like Donghae.” Siwon paused for a moment. “What are you even doing here? This isn’t your dorm.”
“I walked hours through the cold to come here and warn you about-”
“Yeah. Go to sleep.”
Kyuhyun grumbled a few more moments before flopping down onto Siwon’s bed. Siwon stared at him for a moment, hoped he didn’t kick, and curled up on the other side of the bed. They had another half-hour before they would actually have to wake up for schedules. Siwon intended to make full use of it.
super junior character:siwon character:k