Lightning Strikes Twice - Part 2
Title: Lightning Strikes Twice
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Duh. (Mer/Der)
Rating: M
Timeline: Post Time After Time.
Author's Notes: Well, I spent pretty much my entire day off writing yesterday, so I got this part done late last night :) Yay for writing sprints!
~~~~~
"Mom..." Derek sighed into the phone, collapsing his face into the clutch of his nervously twitching hand as he leaned on the desk, a tension headache slowly developing. She'd ambushed him, calling him on his office phone so he couldn't screen the call. He'd answered it without thinking, spewing his normal spiel, blah, blah, Derek Shepherd, Department of Neurosurgery, how may I help you? He'd been in the middle of reviewing charts, an activity he'd fast put aside when he'd realized who was calling. The pen he'd dropped in shock had long since rolled to the floor and was cowering under his desk somewhere while he winced and moaned under the weight of her litany.
She'd ripped into him before he'd even finished greeting her, and the conversation had been going downhill from there. He hadn't spoken to her in months. Not since before he'd finally signed the divorce papers. He hadn't called her, and he'd carefully not picked up whenever she happened to call him. It seemed she'd finally figured out a way to buck his careful system of avoidance. And so now, every thing, every major life event, namely Meredith, Meredith, and Meredith, was now a topic of heated discussion. He wondered how badly Nancy had skewed the picture of his situation with the rest of his family. From what his mother was saying, Nancy couldn't possibly have twisted things any more.
"No, Derek," his mother said, forcing him back to the ordeal at hand. "You don't get to say no. We haven't seen you in over a year. I want to meet that slutty young girl who-"
"Meredith. And she's not slutty," he hissed at her.
"Yes, her," his mother replied. "You'll bring her, right?"
"Meredith doesn't really do families."
"What do you mean, she doesn't do families? Everyone has a family."
He sighed and drummed his fingers on the desk. "Mom, her mother is dead, and her father abandoned her when she was just a kid. She doesn't do families, and I certainly don't want to drag her kicking and screaming into the middle of mine. She and Nancy didn't really hit it off all that great. I can't imagine her dealing well with a swarm of you people."
"Well, she'll do this family, Derek. You missed Christmas, you missed Thanksgiving, we're having the annual get together, and you're not missing it. You have plenty of leave. I know you do, because you never spend it. All you do is work. I want to see you. Don't make me come to Seattle. Are you still living in that awful trailer Nancy told me about?"
"No, I'm living with Meredith."
His mother gasped and went silent for a moment, and he could just imagine her sitting there with her head spinning. He hadn't meant to be so blunt about it, but he couldn't help it. He felt poked and prodded, and ready to snarl at the next jab already. He loved his mother, he did, but sometimes her parochial values frustrated him. It's why he'd never really explained Meredith to her in the first place, never really explained any of it, any of the Seattle stuff.
Yeah, Mom, I had a one-night stand that turned into a fling that turned into the rest of my life. Hope you understand why my eleven year marriage exploded. I never really loved Addison, not like I should have, anyway. And, by the way, my career is going up in smoke. Bye now.
Not likely. The dull throb behind his eyes became a steady pounding.
He groaned and shook his head as his mother recovered enough to splutter, and then resume.
"You'll bring her, Derek," his mother said, the pitch of her voice rising in a sudden frenzy. "You'll bring her, or I'll reserve a ballroom in a hotel and drag the entire family out to see you in Washington. I want to make sure-"
"I love her, Mom," he snapped, cutting her off before she could gouge him with more insults. "That's all that you should care about."
"I do care about that. But, Derek, you just divorced. God only knows why. And you just moved across the country. You're head of your department. Don't you think your life is a little busy, a little too shook up, to decide if you love somebody?"
"No. Love isn't deciding, Mom. Love is a bulldozer." And he was the pavement, crushed and flattened. He didn't add that part, though. He closed his eyes and ran a shaking, pinching grasp up and down his nose, trying to relieve the roaring in his head, but this, this conversation, all the crap that'd happened in the last few weeks, it all laid waste to his resolve, and he felt himself crumpling into a little stressed pile under the weight of it.
A sigh jammed through the phone. He pulled the receiver away from his ear with a wince at the loud buffet of sound. "Derek..." she said in a judging, harsh, disappointed tone.
"I'm serious," he snapped, his wits slowly dissolving as his nerves ran away with him. "I don't want to argue about this with you. I can't do this right now, Mom. There's too much stuff going on in my life to--"
"Exactly why you're coming to Sharon, Derek," she growled back at him. "The family wants to see you. All my grandchildren are wondering where their uncle went. Your sisters are worried. I'm worried. No, I'm distraught. I'm distraught, Derek."
"You mean the family wants to judge my new girlfriend. You're not distraught. You're sniffing out blood in the water."
Another sigh. "Come alone if it kills you that much to introduce her. I just miss my son. I don't know what's going on with you anymore. One day you're in New York, and suddenly you're in Seattle, running away from Addison, shacking up with some slutty girl you met at a bar who's ten years younger than you... You're the only one who hasn't given me grandchildren, and now you're throwing your life away on some young trophy thing..."
"You're not making me want to come to this thing, Mom."
"I'm sorry, I'm just-- Please. I'm just frustrated... I don't even know how to talk to you anymore."
"I'll see if she's interested," he said with a swallow. "But she won't be. I told you, she doesn't do families."
"Will you call me and let me know?"
"Yes, Mom. Look, I have to go. I have a consult."
"No you don't."
"Goodbye, Mom," he pressed.
She sniffed. "Goodbye."
He hung up the phone and collapsed against the desk with a heaving sigh, wilting under the crushing relief of having that over with. His mother was a force of nature. His whole family was a pack of rabid, frenzied nitpickers whenever they congregated. And now he would have to go see them, finally explain to them what the hell had become of him after he'd evacuated his life in New York.
He'd known it'd been coming for a while. He'd known it as soon as Nancy had shown up all nosey and pushy and curious with a list of topics to address. But he'd hoped he'd have a little longer to figure stuff out on his own before he had to listen to them laughing at him, wondering what the hell he'd done with his life, criticizing him for screwing it up.
Not a single one of them understood the whole mess with Addison yet, not even Nancy. She'd thought Addison's affair was a thing to toss aside and forgive as some stupid mistake. And he knew that everyone still kept in touch with Mark, still treated him like the family he wasn't, shouldn't be anymore. It pissed him off that, for some reason, he felt like he needed to justify himself to people he shouldn't have to justify himself at all to, to people that were supposed to take him as is, whatever he did, however much he fucked around with his life.
And yet...
When he thought about going home... he felt...
Longing. He ran his hands through his hair, wondering what the hell was wrong with him lately. Ever since Meredith had died... he'd felt unsettled. Unable to relax and enjoy life, but unable to confide in her because, well, she had enough of her own problems to deal with. He'd needed somebody to talk to so badly he'd started confessing himself to Susan, Meredith's estranged step mom. But it just wasn't the same...
A noise at his doorway brought his gaze up from the cool grain of his desk. He blinked. Meredith stood at his doorway, staring at him with a raised eyebrow, her elbows crossed over her chest as she leaned at an angle that accentuated the curve of her hip. She wore her scrubs, a lilac-colored undershirt underneath them, and her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail. She looked tired, which he really couldn't blame her for, given last night, but still... gorgeous. Her eyes had a twinkle, a spark that he'd seen slowly developing after the ferry accident. She looked vivacious. Lively. And he wanted to drink the sight of her down like a fine wine. It was so nice to see her happy.
She smiled as he met her eyes. "What was that all about?"
"You heard all that?" he asked. How had he not noticed her standing there? She practically glowed.
She shrugged. "Just the tail end of it. I was waiting for you to unwind yourself, but you kind of stayed down there on the desk for a while doing the sighing, groaning, stressy thing. Are you okay?" She walked around behind him, started working her fingers deep into his shoulders, and he couldn't help but lean into her touch.
"My mother is finally clocking in on my whole life situation," he said, groaning as she pressed the tense block of space between his shoulder blades. "It took her long enough. That feels really good."
"I thought you loved your family," she said as she rolled her fists along the upper muscles of his arms and shoulders.
"I do," he replied with a sigh as she undid knot after knot of rigid tension. "That doesn't mean they don't frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. My mom wants to know if you'll come to the yearly family get together in two weeks with me."
She paused her ministrations. "You have get togethers?"
"Yeah," he replied as she started working at his back again. He leaned down onto the desk with a relaxed, heaving groan, and she began to work lower toward his waist. "Most of my sisters still live around New York City, but Natalie flies in from Florida. I think they might commit fratricide if I don't go this time. I've missed the last three, at least. Addison went alone."
She ran her hands up his sides and brought them to rest, warm and welcome on his shoulders. "I don't have any leave, Derek..."
"I can make the Chief give it to you if you really want to go, Meredith."
She sighed. She spun his chair around and sat in his lap, rather unprofessionally, but he didn't care at all at this point. It wasn't like he was fighting for a promotion anymore. The Chief had made the glass ceiling pretty clear in this instance.
He wrapped his arms around her, trying not to think bitter thoughts as he soaked her in. The lavender scent of her conditioner brushed against the back of his throat, thick as the bloom of a real flower, and he sighed, relaxing into it, letting it drug him into a calm stupor.
"I don't really want to go," she finally said as she twisted her fingers in his hair, her face inches from him.
He smiled at her. Her reaction wasn't surprising. "That's what I thought," he said. "I'll just go by myself. There's no reason for you to be caught in the crossfire anyway."
"I didn't say I wouldn't go, Derek. I just said I didn't want to."
He frowned. "Come again?"
She kissed him, licking his lips, nipping. He groaned into her as she pulled back to whisper, "I have to meet them sometime, right?"
"Well... I was kind of hoping no. They're sort of like piranhas, and I'm already in the doghouse..."
"Yes, well, you can daydream all you want, but seriously..."
"Seriously, I think they'd murder me if I never introduced you."
She shrugged, the motion of it rolling off her shoulders. "So, I'll go."
He stared at her blankly, trying to keep himself pulled together despite the feeling of the floor dropping away.
She frowned at his reaction. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't going anywhere, Derek. Let me prove it."
"You're willing to meet my rabid pack of sisters just to... to?" he asked, unable to finish the thought as a breathless wonder overcame him. Meredith didn't do families. Meredith hated families. Meredith and moms and parents and siblings didn't mesh. Meredith and a loving home was like an Exxon oil slick over water. They didn't mix, they were cataclysmic, and no sane person would ever want to force them together unless they were sadistic. Not without expecting disaster. And yet... she was offering to meet his own cluster of neurotic relatives... for what? To please him? To show him she was serious?
"I guess so..." she mused. She splayed her fingers against the nape of his neck as he stared, just stared. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.
"I don't know..." he stuttered. "I guess I just... Really? You'll go?"
"Yes, if you can get the Chief to give me time off... Because I doubt he'd give it to me without some pressure. I just took a week off when I... Well. You know."
She swallowed and looked down at her lap, sudden shame washing over her face and her tone, like she expected him to take what he knew and rub it into her like salt to a bloody wound.
"You might be surprised what the Chief will do for you, Mere," he found himself saying before he could stop himself. He swallowed as she frowned at him. That had sort of just dripped out of him, unbidden. He'd been so flustered at her willingness to go with him to Connecticut that... well... it'd just slipped out from whatever passive aggressive corner of his mind had kept the thought prisoner.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, he moaned inwardly at himself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice lightly curious, but it was clear that she was ready to dip down and reach for some hostility if she needed it.
He winced at her tone and manhandled the bitterness back, deep down. This wasn't her fault. If anyone were to blame, it would have to be Ellis, who still had her claws hooked into this hospital long after she'd died. He had no right to be angry at Meredith, who, really, was as much a victim of Ellis as he was, more so even. And she was sitting there, leaning up against him, warm and soft and smelling like his favorite conditioner, trying so hard to placate him...
He sighed.
"Nothing," he whispered. He leaned in to kiss her, to drink her down again. "I'll talk to him," he muttered into her mouth as he breathed her in, enjoyed her light mood, relished it properly.
"Okay," she replied.
He stood, placing her on her feet as he did so, wincing as he somehow managed to stave off gravity and stay upright when his back and quads screamed in protest.
"Sore?" she asked with a grin.
"Um," he said, running his hands through his hair. "Yeah."
"Me too," she said. "You need to talk to Alex, by the way. He said he wants tips."
His eyes widened. "What?"
"I didn't hear the end of it this morning at the breakfast table. Izzie kept moaning and whining about how wrong it was that she knew how much her boss yells during sex. And Alex wanted to know if we broke the bed."
"Were we really that loud?" he asked with a frown. Well, she had screamed. A lot. Now that he thought about it. And he... well, he'd kind of degenerated into some sort of frenzied, rutting Neanderthal toward the end. A flush carpeted his skin when he thought about it, about their captive, trying to sleep audience. Way to win the respect of the intern population...
"Kind of, yeah, Derek," she replied. She smiled brightly at him, the skin around her eyes crinkling up as her pupils glittered with mischief. She licked her lips as her gaze fell into a hooded, sexy, deep stare. "But I like loud. All that growling was hot."
"So says the screamer."
"It just means I'm not a hypocrite."
He smirked. "I'm more a fan of your innate flexibility than your screaming."
"Derek," she said with a laugh.
"Not that I mind the screaming. More screaming, I say."
She laughed again.
He sighed as he headed for the door. "I'll see you in the lobby later, and then we'll go home, okay? I know your shift is over, but I have to go talk to the Chief really fast about your leave, and then I have to do rounds on my post-ops. I only have two."
"Okay," she said.
He left her standing there behind him, and he couldn't help but smile as he walked away. She was actually going to go with him to Connecticut. That had been unexpected. And, as he thought about it, more welcome than he'd realized.
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Duh. (Mer/Der)
Rating: M
Timeline: Post Time After Time.
Author's Notes: Well, I spent pretty much my entire day off writing yesterday, so I got this part done late last night :) Yay for writing sprints!
~~~~~
"Mom..." Derek sighed into the phone, collapsing his face into the clutch of his nervously twitching hand as he leaned on the desk, a tension headache slowly developing. She'd ambushed him, calling him on his office phone so he couldn't screen the call. He'd answered it without thinking, spewing his normal spiel, blah, blah, Derek Shepherd, Department of Neurosurgery, how may I help you? He'd been in the middle of reviewing charts, an activity he'd fast put aside when he'd realized who was calling. The pen he'd dropped in shock had long since rolled to the floor and was cowering under his desk somewhere while he winced and moaned under the weight of her litany.
She'd ripped into him before he'd even finished greeting her, and the conversation had been going downhill from there. He hadn't spoken to her in months. Not since before he'd finally signed the divorce papers. He hadn't called her, and he'd carefully not picked up whenever she happened to call him. It seemed she'd finally figured out a way to buck his careful system of avoidance. And so now, every thing, every major life event, namely Meredith, Meredith, and Meredith, was now a topic of heated discussion. He wondered how badly Nancy had skewed the picture of his situation with the rest of his family. From what his mother was saying, Nancy couldn't possibly have twisted things any more.
"No, Derek," his mother said, forcing him back to the ordeal at hand. "You don't get to say no. We haven't seen you in over a year. I want to meet that slutty young girl who-"
"Meredith. And she's not slutty," he hissed at her.
"Yes, her," his mother replied. "You'll bring her, right?"
"Meredith doesn't really do families."
"What do you mean, she doesn't do families? Everyone has a family."
He sighed and drummed his fingers on the desk. "Mom, her mother is dead, and her father abandoned her when she was just a kid. She doesn't do families, and I certainly don't want to drag her kicking and screaming into the middle of mine. She and Nancy didn't really hit it off all that great. I can't imagine her dealing well with a swarm of you people."
"Well, she'll do this family, Derek. You missed Christmas, you missed Thanksgiving, we're having the annual get together, and you're not missing it. You have plenty of leave. I know you do, because you never spend it. All you do is work. I want to see you. Don't make me come to Seattle. Are you still living in that awful trailer Nancy told me about?"
"No, I'm living with Meredith."
His mother gasped and went silent for a moment, and he could just imagine her sitting there with her head spinning. He hadn't meant to be so blunt about it, but he couldn't help it. He felt poked and prodded, and ready to snarl at the next jab already. He loved his mother, he did, but sometimes her parochial values frustrated him. It's why he'd never really explained Meredith to her in the first place, never really explained any of it, any of the Seattle stuff.
Yeah, Mom, I had a one-night stand that turned into a fling that turned into the rest of my life. Hope you understand why my eleven year marriage exploded. I never really loved Addison, not like I should have, anyway. And, by the way, my career is going up in smoke. Bye now.
Not likely. The dull throb behind his eyes became a steady pounding.
He groaned and shook his head as his mother recovered enough to splutter, and then resume.
"You'll bring her, Derek," his mother said, the pitch of her voice rising in a sudden frenzy. "You'll bring her, or I'll reserve a ballroom in a hotel and drag the entire family out to see you in Washington. I want to make sure-"
"I love her, Mom," he snapped, cutting her off before she could gouge him with more insults. "That's all that you should care about."
"I do care about that. But, Derek, you just divorced. God only knows why. And you just moved across the country. You're head of your department. Don't you think your life is a little busy, a little too shook up, to decide if you love somebody?"
"No. Love isn't deciding, Mom. Love is a bulldozer." And he was the pavement, crushed and flattened. He didn't add that part, though. He closed his eyes and ran a shaking, pinching grasp up and down his nose, trying to relieve the roaring in his head, but this, this conversation, all the crap that'd happened in the last few weeks, it all laid waste to his resolve, and he felt himself crumpling into a little stressed pile under the weight of it.
A sigh jammed through the phone. He pulled the receiver away from his ear with a wince at the loud buffet of sound. "Derek..." she said in a judging, harsh, disappointed tone.
"I'm serious," he snapped, his wits slowly dissolving as his nerves ran away with him. "I don't want to argue about this with you. I can't do this right now, Mom. There's too much stuff going on in my life to--"
"Exactly why you're coming to Sharon, Derek," she growled back at him. "The family wants to see you. All my grandchildren are wondering where their uncle went. Your sisters are worried. I'm worried. No, I'm distraught. I'm distraught, Derek."
"You mean the family wants to judge my new girlfriend. You're not distraught. You're sniffing out blood in the water."
Another sigh. "Come alone if it kills you that much to introduce her. I just miss my son. I don't know what's going on with you anymore. One day you're in New York, and suddenly you're in Seattle, running away from Addison, shacking up with some slutty girl you met at a bar who's ten years younger than you... You're the only one who hasn't given me grandchildren, and now you're throwing your life away on some young trophy thing..."
"You're not making me want to come to this thing, Mom."
"I'm sorry, I'm just-- Please. I'm just frustrated... I don't even know how to talk to you anymore."
"I'll see if she's interested," he said with a swallow. "But she won't be. I told you, she doesn't do families."
"Will you call me and let me know?"
"Yes, Mom. Look, I have to go. I have a consult."
"No you don't."
"Goodbye, Mom," he pressed.
She sniffed. "Goodbye."
He hung up the phone and collapsed against the desk with a heaving sigh, wilting under the crushing relief of having that over with. His mother was a force of nature. His whole family was a pack of rabid, frenzied nitpickers whenever they congregated. And now he would have to go see them, finally explain to them what the hell had become of him after he'd evacuated his life in New York.
He'd known it'd been coming for a while. He'd known it as soon as Nancy had shown up all nosey and pushy and curious with a list of topics to address. But he'd hoped he'd have a little longer to figure stuff out on his own before he had to listen to them laughing at him, wondering what the hell he'd done with his life, criticizing him for screwing it up.
Not a single one of them understood the whole mess with Addison yet, not even Nancy. She'd thought Addison's affair was a thing to toss aside and forgive as some stupid mistake. And he knew that everyone still kept in touch with Mark, still treated him like the family he wasn't, shouldn't be anymore. It pissed him off that, for some reason, he felt like he needed to justify himself to people he shouldn't have to justify himself at all to, to people that were supposed to take him as is, whatever he did, however much he fucked around with his life.
And yet...
When he thought about going home... he felt...
Longing. He ran his hands through his hair, wondering what the hell was wrong with him lately. Ever since Meredith had died... he'd felt unsettled. Unable to relax and enjoy life, but unable to confide in her because, well, she had enough of her own problems to deal with. He'd needed somebody to talk to so badly he'd started confessing himself to Susan, Meredith's estranged step mom. But it just wasn't the same...
A noise at his doorway brought his gaze up from the cool grain of his desk. He blinked. Meredith stood at his doorway, staring at him with a raised eyebrow, her elbows crossed over her chest as she leaned at an angle that accentuated the curve of her hip. She wore her scrubs, a lilac-colored undershirt underneath them, and her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail. She looked tired, which he really couldn't blame her for, given last night, but still... gorgeous. Her eyes had a twinkle, a spark that he'd seen slowly developing after the ferry accident. She looked vivacious. Lively. And he wanted to drink the sight of her down like a fine wine. It was so nice to see her happy.
She smiled as he met her eyes. "What was that all about?"
"You heard all that?" he asked. How had he not noticed her standing there? She practically glowed.
She shrugged. "Just the tail end of it. I was waiting for you to unwind yourself, but you kind of stayed down there on the desk for a while doing the sighing, groaning, stressy thing. Are you okay?" She walked around behind him, started working her fingers deep into his shoulders, and he couldn't help but lean into her touch.
"My mother is finally clocking in on my whole life situation," he said, groaning as she pressed the tense block of space between his shoulder blades. "It took her long enough. That feels really good."
"I thought you loved your family," she said as she rolled her fists along the upper muscles of his arms and shoulders.
"I do," he replied with a sigh as she undid knot after knot of rigid tension. "That doesn't mean they don't frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. My mom wants to know if you'll come to the yearly family get together in two weeks with me."
She paused her ministrations. "You have get togethers?"
"Yeah," he replied as she started working at his back again. He leaned down onto the desk with a relaxed, heaving groan, and she began to work lower toward his waist. "Most of my sisters still live around New York City, but Natalie flies in from Florida. I think they might commit fratricide if I don't go this time. I've missed the last three, at least. Addison went alone."
She ran her hands up his sides and brought them to rest, warm and welcome on his shoulders. "I don't have any leave, Derek..."
"I can make the Chief give it to you if you really want to go, Meredith."
She sighed. She spun his chair around and sat in his lap, rather unprofessionally, but he didn't care at all at this point. It wasn't like he was fighting for a promotion anymore. The Chief had made the glass ceiling pretty clear in this instance.
He wrapped his arms around her, trying not to think bitter thoughts as he soaked her in. The lavender scent of her conditioner brushed against the back of his throat, thick as the bloom of a real flower, and he sighed, relaxing into it, letting it drug him into a calm stupor.
"I don't really want to go," she finally said as she twisted her fingers in his hair, her face inches from him.
He smiled at her. Her reaction wasn't surprising. "That's what I thought," he said. "I'll just go by myself. There's no reason for you to be caught in the crossfire anyway."
"I didn't say I wouldn't go, Derek. I just said I didn't want to."
He frowned. "Come again?"
She kissed him, licking his lips, nipping. He groaned into her as she pulled back to whisper, "I have to meet them sometime, right?"
"Well... I was kind of hoping no. They're sort of like piranhas, and I'm already in the doghouse..."
"Yes, well, you can daydream all you want, but seriously..."
"Seriously, I think they'd murder me if I never introduced you."
She shrugged, the motion of it rolling off her shoulders. "So, I'll go."
He stared at her blankly, trying to keep himself pulled together despite the feeling of the floor dropping away.
She frowned at his reaction. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't going anywhere, Derek. Let me prove it."
"You're willing to meet my rabid pack of sisters just to... to?" he asked, unable to finish the thought as a breathless wonder overcame him. Meredith didn't do families. Meredith hated families. Meredith and moms and parents and siblings didn't mesh. Meredith and a loving home was like an Exxon oil slick over water. They didn't mix, they were cataclysmic, and no sane person would ever want to force them together unless they were sadistic. Not without expecting disaster. And yet... she was offering to meet his own cluster of neurotic relatives... for what? To please him? To show him she was serious?
"I guess so..." she mused. She splayed her fingers against the nape of his neck as he stared, just stared. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.
"I don't know..." he stuttered. "I guess I just... Really? You'll go?"
"Yes, if you can get the Chief to give me time off... Because I doubt he'd give it to me without some pressure. I just took a week off when I... Well. You know."
She swallowed and looked down at her lap, sudden shame washing over her face and her tone, like she expected him to take what he knew and rub it into her like salt to a bloody wound.
"You might be surprised what the Chief will do for you, Mere," he found himself saying before he could stop himself. He swallowed as she frowned at him. That had sort of just dripped out of him, unbidden. He'd been so flustered at her willingness to go with him to Connecticut that... well... it'd just slipped out from whatever passive aggressive corner of his mind had kept the thought prisoner.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, he moaned inwardly at himself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice lightly curious, but it was clear that she was ready to dip down and reach for some hostility if she needed it.
He winced at her tone and manhandled the bitterness back, deep down. This wasn't her fault. If anyone were to blame, it would have to be Ellis, who still had her claws hooked into this hospital long after she'd died. He had no right to be angry at Meredith, who, really, was as much a victim of Ellis as he was, more so even. And she was sitting there, leaning up against him, warm and soft and smelling like his favorite conditioner, trying so hard to placate him...
He sighed.
"Nothing," he whispered. He leaned in to kiss her, to drink her down again. "I'll talk to him," he muttered into her mouth as he breathed her in, enjoyed her light mood, relished it properly.
"Okay," she replied.
He stood, placing her on her feet as he did so, wincing as he somehow managed to stave off gravity and stay upright when his back and quads screamed in protest.
"Sore?" she asked with a grin.
"Um," he said, running his hands through his hair. "Yeah."
"Me too," she said. "You need to talk to Alex, by the way. He said he wants tips."
His eyes widened. "What?"
"I didn't hear the end of it this morning at the breakfast table. Izzie kept moaning and whining about how wrong it was that she knew how much her boss yells during sex. And Alex wanted to know if we broke the bed."
"Were we really that loud?" he asked with a frown. Well, she had screamed. A lot. Now that he thought about it. And he... well, he'd kind of degenerated into some sort of frenzied, rutting Neanderthal toward the end. A flush carpeted his skin when he thought about it, about their captive, trying to sleep audience. Way to win the respect of the intern population...
"Kind of, yeah, Derek," she replied. She smiled brightly at him, the skin around her eyes crinkling up as her pupils glittered with mischief. She licked her lips as her gaze fell into a hooded, sexy, deep stare. "But I like loud. All that growling was hot."
"So says the screamer."
"It just means I'm not a hypocrite."
He smirked. "I'm more a fan of your innate flexibility than your screaming."
"Derek," she said with a laugh.
"Not that I mind the screaming. More screaming, I say."
She laughed again.
He sighed as he headed for the door. "I'll see you in the lobby later, and then we'll go home, okay? I know your shift is over, but I have to go talk to the Chief really fast about your leave, and then I have to do rounds on my post-ops. I only have two."
"Okay," she said.
He left her standing there behind him, and he couldn't help but smile as he walked away. She was actually going to go with him to Connecticut. That had been unexpected. And, as he thought about it, more welcome than he'd realized.