[locked from Dean and casual looking]

[antilles_wedge]

There are books. About us.

There's a hack writer named Chuck who is, according to Castiel, a "prophet of the Lord".

He knows things about me I haven't even told my brother that even Dean wouldn't know, without the stupid virus.

Everybody tells me what I'm doing is wrong. They ask me, like a question, don't you know what you're doing is wrong?

Comments

[sin_nom]

...There is so much wrong with whatever you were possibly thinking while writing this post that I don't even know where to begin, Sam.

Moron.

One, stop drinking demon blood, I can't imagine it tastes all that great, and it's terrible for your soul. Literally.

Two, this simultaneous self-pity and self-sacrifice thing has got to stop. No offense to your brother and all, he's great, but making him a hero isn't worth turning yourself into a demon in the process. ...Nothing warrants that.

[antilles_wedge]

I don't need more people calling me names, thanks much.

My soul's been compromised since I was six months old. If I had stopped Lilith before Dean went to hell, everything would be different now. I'm not making that mistake again. Never again.

[sin_nom]

God, you're impossible. Listen, I'm not going to stop you, I'm all for killing demons, but can we touch back on the self-destruction element? Because, I'm pretty sure that's where the problem lies.

[antilles_wedge]

If I could find other options, I wouldn't be doing this. I stayed away from it for months, until it just was obvious the war was going downhill, and the angels don't even seem to have any kind of plan, besides laying it all on Dean's shoulders without telling him how he's supposed to stop the Apocalypse.

And now it even turns out some of the angels are working against us, trying to free their "fallen brother".

I don't want to be self-destructive. I watched my dad go that way, I've seen Dean do it. But doing everything by the book just ends up getting people killed faster.

[Well, Sammy, you've successfully pinged Urameshi. | Voice]

[smartass_tantei]

...Y'know, it's things like this that really, really piss me off.

I understand the whole "don't wanna let someone else carry all the burden" bit, but going as far as drinkin' demon blood? If you know it's not a good thing, then don't do it, genius.

And believe me, you can help without havin' to resort to those kind of things.

Re: [Well, Sammy, you've successfully pinged Urameshi. | Voice] {lol! XD]

[antilles_wedge]

We've never met, as far as I know, so I can't see how you could make a blanket statement like you can help without having to resort to those kinds of things.

My world is running out of time. Even the angels don't seem to have any kind of plan for stopping it besides telling my brother it's all up to him.

I'm not going to just sit by when what I'm doing is working.

[Voice]

[smartass_tantei]

Fine. Name's Yuusuke, I'm part-demon, so shut up and let me finish.

I'm not saying that you can just sit on the sidelines. My world's been in more near-Apocalypse situations than you could probably count. But isn't there any other way you can do somethin' without putting your own soul in danger? I've seen decent guys use the power they've been given for twisted reasons, I don't want to see it happen again.

Re: [Voice]

[antilles_wedge]

If I knew of another way, I wouldn't be doing this.

Wait a minute... you're part demon?

Before I found out about what happened to me, I didn't think that was even possible, so... how is it for you?

Because. If you can actually understand...

It would be good to have someone to talk to about this. Someone who knows what it's like.

[earthoftheearth]

I, um, I don't understand demons, not really. But none of that sounds good, Sam.

Have you tried talking to Dean about any of this?

[antilles_wedge]

I already know what he thinks about it. I don't want to lay more on his shoulders, he's already got too much.

And I don't like it when he looks at me like I'm some kind of freak.

[earthoftheearth]

So you complain about not being able to help, but then you won't let anyone help you? Don't you think that's kind of... well, stupid?

...depends on what it means to be a freak, I guess.

[antilles_wedge]

Not any stupider than passing judgment on someone you don't know.

What does being a freak mean to you?