No seriously. The first of them is a potted version of King John I wrote for
faithhopetricks, who just went to see a production thereof. She thought I should post it, so here it is.
NB that the emphasis on Arthur being pretty is completely from the text. If anything, I toned it down.
(
King John as it would be if it were shorter and more ridiculous. Contains a lot more lolcat than I thought. )
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(Though I am surprised you turned down the Hubert / Arthur slash opportunity. Space considerations, perhaps? Though I suppose there isn't much need for you to write it since it is right there in the text...)
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HUBERT: Yeah, I'll take care of him for you.
KING JOHN: I want you to kill him, dumbass.
HUBERT: I got that.
My favorite part is how this might actually be MORE subtle than the original scene.
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