when i catch myself looking through old photos for hours, it's a sure sign that i'm unhappy with the current status of my life. tonight, i feel dead inside, searching, yearning. i'm starting to fear that nothing will ever be good enough, and i will end up in an eternal state of dissatisfaction. maybe some part of me was slowly wasting away like a ( Read more... )

it's funny how a lack of posting would lead one to believe that there isn't anything really worth writing about, when the truth is there is just so much i want to say and for whatever reason i let time pass without saying it. i'm blogging all the time, in my mind, engaging in some mental process that allows me to document my life and how i'm ( Read more... )

i've been reassessing my life for the past few weeks now, and the verdict of this appraisal leaves me with two main conclusions ( Read more... )

i was thinking a bit today about all the things i used to do as a teen that i just don't do anymore or wouldn't even consider doing at this point in my life. competitive sports - swimming, basketball, figure skating. aside from the ongoing gym routine, i somewhat lost my atheltic backbone as i got older. i was sitting on the couch, watching sports ( Read more... )

with the completion of my thesis upon me, i can't help but fantasize about what life will be like once this is finally over and done with. jay and i have discussed some ideas of what we would like to do or where we like to go. but the realistic side of me tends to kick in and soon i realize that as he looks for a new job and i sort out my own ( Read more... )

no matter how deep or eventful it is, a person's past can be the elephant in the room. although it shouldn't really matter what brought a person to where they are, you can't help but wonder what their life was like before you. on that note, the past you share with someone is also of great importance, and yet we have mastered the ability to mask or ( Read more... )

i'm just a bird. a bird trapped in a cage. a bird trapped in a small cage wanting to escape, wanting to see what could be beyond the restraint, beyond the confinement of familiarity.
now or never.

i'm not sure if it's the pressure of school, or just the repetitive, mundane nature of my everyday life, but lately i've been in a rut. i feel like nothing really excites me anymore, and there is less and less to look forward to as the weeks roll by. some days i have to work really hard to suppress the burning desire to pack up and and go home, or ( Read more... )

do you ever cry yourself to sleep, and wonder just how you managed to get so low?

i'm starting to think that it's the transient friendships that put our lives into perspective and question the validity of who we are ( Read more... )