Triggers: What they feel like for me

[amilyn]

In response to my previous post, someone responded in great earnest, "I don't want to inadvertently mess up" and asked if there was a list to help her. I am now wondering--has anyone made a list of triggers common enough to make an easy starting place for folks to be able to use those and then add further labels if someone suggests

Comments

[only_more_love]

What you have endured... I cannot fathom how you were so utterly betrayed by all the adults who should have tried to protect and help you. I am so sorry that you've suffered like this. Depression alone is such a weight, but when you add everything else you mentioned...

[amilyn]

You make it sound all melodramatic...and my first impulse is to try and say, "It wasn't that bad, really," and try to reassure you with, "It's okay," and the like. Fascinating that that is still my response.

But the healthier--and entirely earnest--response is a huge thank you. Thank you for taking me seriously. Thank you for not making light of what I said. Thank you for being more horrified than I even can be on my own behalf. Thank you for saying the things I waited decades to hear from people. Thank you for commenting and responding rather than falling silent and hiding and pretending I didn't say anything because that's easier. (And thanks for the gorgeous icon, too.)

Thank you.

[only_more_love]

I understand the knee-jerk desire to minimize your experiences.

Hand on heart, I didn't mean to sound melodramatic. I gave you my honest response, as you wrote a searingly honest post. You should never have been made to feel that what you said didn't matter, or that you were somehow responsible for the hideous acts perpetrated by other people. It hurts to know that people can turn such a blind eye to those who are hurting.

Thank you for being brave enough to speak your truth.

[wiliqueen]

Thank you for posting this. Not just because it will be of value to others who read it (impertinence covered a lot, but not everything), but because it's of value to you. And that's important.

{{{ hugs }}}

[amilyn]

Well...let's hope it's valuable. (Tries to shut off denial-critter that wants to ask how it could be valuable to others or me since I mostly know better.) :-)

Thanks.

*hugs*back*

[havocthecat]

*hugs you* I get really mad at the way the world works sometimes. I am also really glad you shared, but sorry that you had to go through all that stuff.

[spiletta42]

Thank you for this post. It is definitely a valuable addition to impertinence's for a number of reasons. I understood hers, and learned from hers, but I identify with yours, especially with being told feelings aren't real in various ways. There's a lot more I'd say if this was flocked (don't flock it, it's too valuable) but I'll leave that and get back to the fanfiction topic.

Regarding "dub-con" -- while I'm sure there is plenty of non-con/rape that gets so labeled, I believe the original intent of the term was for content where consent was dubious to the reader at some stage in the proceedings, but not to the participants. For a reader with related triggers, that distinction probably means nothing, which is why it needs a label, but it's a way for the writer to say "but I didn't mean it that way."

As for Alias, yes, I believe you should avoid that one, and now I know to never ever watch that first movie you described

[wiliqueen]

Holy cats, that is brilliant. I am so stealing that popup idea as soon as I figure out how to code it. Brava.

I need to comb back through my fic based on some things I've learned from this discussion, and quite probably make some adjustments. At the very least, the no-warnworthy-content thing. But there are a couple for which that's not strictly the case.

[spiletta42]

I adapted it from a code used to footnote academic papers online. Here's what you need to know:

It links to an external javascript, it has a style sheet which I have laid in on that page to make it easier for people to steal it, and there are four bits you need to steal to use it.

the external javascript itself: spiletta.com/footnoteinst.js

the style information, which is on the page itself, rather than on one of the linked stylesheets. Not that I care if you steal my linked stylesheets, they're just not related to the script. (although that info is on some of my external stylesheets, and I'm being redundant, but redundant with purpose)

the code between the meta tags and the fav icon tags, which points to the correct external script

the line with the actual link in it, obviously

[siggy63]

This post has really opened my eyes. I'm afraid I am one of those people who don't put a lot of warnings on fic and quite honestly get annoyed at people who seemed to put reams of warnings that I, who has not suffered any real lasting trauma, have to wade through before I can get to the damn story. I now understand why. I apologise for that and will try to do better.

Thank you. {{{{hug}}}}