thank you, i am crying myself, because i will never EVER forgive this. Not that I put him to sleep, but that I left him alone because I am a coward and I can't take it back anymore.:((((
I am totally crying now .... you know I know exactly how you are feeling now .. though I didn´t leave my doggie at the vet ....I was there when he put him asleep I had to hold him down so everything would go right.. I was crying like a small child, I didn´t care about the vet being there... and then when he left and took him with him I was crying for another 3 hours constantly.. so it always feels like betraying when we agree on doing such thing.. but you know in the end it´s a right and good thing because our sweeties would otherwise suffer much more .... be strong now *hugs*
Any time I have had to make the call to put a pet to sleep, it is just the hardest decision, and I can't bear to be there either, because it is too heart wrenching. Mind you, I couldn't go to see my Dad in hospital when we knew it was most likely going to be his last day, either. I didn't want the image of him dying to be the strongest memory I had of him.
Please don't beat yourself up, or feel too badly. You did what you thought was for the best for both of you in the moment, and no one can ask more than that. It's easy to realise how we could have done things differently with hindsight. Remember you're not alone in what you did. There's at least one other would have done exactly the same, and I don't think it's cowardly - we're just not used to confronting death head-on these days, I think.
that's exactly why i couldn't stay with him. i had one guinea pig to die and the last memory of her is her absolutely drained and sick body, i don't remember her, only this memory and i didn't want to remember my cutie like this, but now i just remember the last act of desperation as he peed all over the doctor's table...and it just broke my heart, because he wasn't eating nor drinking at all the last days, but he peed, probably in fear or in trying to pretend he was fine. either way he was scared and i left him there. the whole time i kind of knew it was going down to this and i promised myself after the death of the aforementioned guinea pig that I will NEVER leave another animal die of exhaustion. So I told myself if the time came, I will be strong and make the decision and be with the animal until the very end, because that's the least i could do, yet suddenly when the time came, i couldn't. I shut the box he was in because i couldn't look at him....probably due to fear and adrenalin he looked quite fine and the worse for me it is
( ... )
Please don't blame yourself. How many people do what you have done? Too many people don't even cater for their basic needs let alone the care you provided. Weekly trips to the vet, medicine, syringe-feeding; I have rabbits and guineapigs and I know just how much time and effort is involved here. I know exactly how hard it is to let them go under any circumstances but you have given him a long and happy life and have to remember that. Carol
Thank you Carol, I guess the pain would be there no matter what, I would find a thing to blame myself for, even if I was with him the whole time, because I wasn't simply ready for this today. It came too suddenly,maybe I should have postponed it a day, or at least 10 minutes, ask for a moment to reconcile with the thought and give him a proper goodbye, everything seems so rushed to me. I don't want to think about it anymore, because it feels like my heart will burst and I will drown in my guilt, but the thoughts just keep spinning at every opportunity, but I guess, no matter what I would have done, I would feel guilty for some reason. If I brought him home, I would feel like I am prolonging his suffering, when I let him there, I feel I did it to make it easier for me, but the worst part really is the guilt that I left him there alone, in the hands of people he doesn't know. He didn't have a comforting voice there to soothe him, I will never forgive myself for this, because I have thought about it often enough, that this might happen
( ... )
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*hug*
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you know I know exactly how you are feeling now ..
though I didn´t leave my doggie at the vet ....I was there when he put him asleep I had to hold him down so everything would go right..
I was crying like a small child, I didn´t care about the vet being there... and then when he left and took him with him I was crying for another 3 hours constantly..
so it always feels like betraying when we agree on doing such thing..
but you know in the end it´s a right and good thing because our sweeties would otherwise suffer much more ....
be strong now
*hugs*
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Please don't beat yourself up, or feel too badly. You did what you thought was for the best for both of you in the moment, and no one can ask more than that. It's easy to realise how we could have done things differently with hindsight. Remember you're not alone in what you did. There's at least one other would have done exactly the same, and I don't think it's cowardly - we're just not used to confronting death head-on these days, I think.
*hugs*
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Carol
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Just wanted to greet you~ ^.^
Look around, and post comments & BL-stuff~ and if you have any questions, feel free to ask ~.^
VERY IMPORTANT!
Please read and post a comment here:
http://community.livejournal.com/ikemennosekimen/47407.html
If you don't, you'll get deleted... sorry, it's a check-thing ^.^'
~ Sincerely, Chrisa [HappyPurinsu] - founder of BxB [InS]
*Sorry about writing it here - but because of all the members joining lately, I have reached my limits about sending messages ^.^'
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