[fic] Heal Me - Third Cut ~The Unlikeliest of Places~
Title: Heal Me
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Summary - Heal Me: The difficult task of readjusting to a normal life... will they make it through together?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Heal Me
Third Cut ~The Unlikeliest of Places~
Koki couldn’t focus on his last class that Tuesday. He kept thinking over how Kame had acted in the bathroom. He shouldn’t have left him there in the tub but he’d just been so shocked. Kame had never believed his love declarations before. What had changed?
And why would he give him such a hateful look for it? And… the rest of it…
It was so wrong. Koki shuddered.
He should tell Jin, right?
Jin would kill him. And Kame was his friend, too. Maybe he should try talking to him again, first.
Yeah, that’s what he should do.
Maybe give Kame a day to clear his head first, though. So it didn't happen again, whatever it was. He still didn't know.
+++
Eventually Kame came to his senses. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the bathroom in the tub. He vaguely remembered breaking the mirror and Koki coming by. Standing, he stepped out of the tub and walked back into the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of his bed again.
It was nice not wearing a collar. Ryo took it off of him after that last time he punished him, saying he would have to earn back the right to leave the bedroom.
Ryo had almost killed him that time. He had his hands around Kame’s throat, squeezing so hard. Kame was sure he was about to die. The room had faded almost completely. But Ryo had realized what he was doing and let go. While Kame was dazed coughing, trying to get his breath back, Ryo had grabbed the tie, bound his wrists together and tied him to the bedpost, just like that first time.
He ripped Kame’s clothes off and then he got the belt.
Ryo beat him and then fucked him and then beat him again and then fucked him one more time. And then, even though Kame could barely move, Ryo untied him and made him clean up all the broken glass.
But Kame knew what he had to do. He managed to subtly shove a large shard towards the bed and then between the bed and the wall.
Jin walked in, snapping Kame out of his memory. He completely freaked out about the state of the bathroom. “What the hell were you thinking? How are we going to pay for this?!”
Unconsciously Kame’s hand flew to his neck. But if Jin was only yelling, that wasn’t so bad. It wouldn’t be like when he broke that mirror…
“I didn’t like the way it looked at me.”
“I don’t understand. It’s just a mirror. Mirrors don’t look at you; you look at them.” Jin sat down next to him and took his hand.
“Oh, right…” Kame looked down at his feet, ashamed. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up and figure something out.”
“No, we will figure something out. But you need to talk to someone, Kazu-chan. I mean, I know it’ll be painful to talk about and I know it’ll not be something easy to hear, either. But I think if you keep pushing this down, you’ll never heal and you’ll never escape your dreams.” Jin took a deep breath before continuing. “Look, if you don’t want to talk to me about this, find someone else to talk to. I just want to see you smile again. I want you happy. I can’t just make these things happen. Believe me, I would if I could. If there was some secret spell or potion or anything, I’d get it for you. Kazu, I love you so much. It just kills me that I can’t help you more.”
Now Jin was softly crying, though Kame could tell he was trying to hide it. He continued, “I can kiss your forehead and stroke your cheek when you’re having a nightmare and that does seem to help a bit but it’s not enough. I can wake you up, but you need to be able to sleep. And Ryo’s dead. He’s dead and his body has been burned. He can never touch you again… but he’s inside your head still and I can’t get to him there like I did in real life. You can’t keep breaking mirrors for the rest of your life.”
Kame sat there in silence for a moment. “I’ll think on it,” he eventually said, squeezing Jin’s hand a bit.
“Please do.”
“I guess I better start cleaning.”
+++
Wednesday passed by relatively uneventfully. Kame couldn’t stand having the door closed when Jin was in class.
Kame was doing everything he could to keep Jin from seeing what Ryo had done to him. He slept in his clothes. He wouldn’t change or shower until after Jin left for class in the morning. So far, Jin was respecting this without a single complaint.
He was still having nightmares, even though he was back in his own room sleeping in Jin’s arms. He was spending so much of his time trapped in his own head and, though he tried desperately to focus, it didn’t seem to be getting better…
Koki came back by to see him Thursday, right after Jin left for class.
“Hey Turtle, how are you? Are you feeling… um… better?”
“You mean… the mirror and all? I’m… Yes, better.”
Koki paused for a moment before awkwardly asking, “And the rest too?”
Kame tried to think back to his encounter with Koki but it was almost like he was disconnected somewhat from the memory. “What rest?” Kame was somewhat confused.
“Oh, uh… nothing!” Koki nervously scratched the back of his head. “Actually, I wondered if you wanted to leave this room and go grab something to eat so we can talk. I missed you.”
“If it’s your treat,” Kame gave a small smile, “Yeah, sure. I can't afford otherwise. I have to pay for a mirror.”
“Ramen shop?”
“Ramen shop.”
“Yes!!” and Koki gave the victory sign.
But they’d barely gotten out of the dorm when Kame saw someone he’d never expected. Actually, he was surprised to find her looking so healthy after Ryo’s call. But why was she on campus? Putting a hand on Koki’s shoulder, Kame said, “Can… can you wait right here for me? I really need to talk to that girl over there. She is in one of my classes.”
“Sure…”
The woman with the incredibly curly black hair (what was her name again… Lisa? No, not Lisa... Lina? Ah, that was it) looked shocked to see him as he ran over to her. Simultaneously, they both said, “What are you doing here?”
Again, simultaneously, “I go to school here.”
Yet again, “Really?”
Finally, Kame waved one of his hands. “Wait, stop, stop. I seriously need to talk to you. Now!” and he pulled her over to sit on the nearest bench.
Before Lina could protest or even ask him what he wanted, Kame started, “You can’t tell anyone. Please. Nothing you saw. Not any one, not any of it. Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything, anything you want… I do mean anything...” He was doing his best not to completely panic or cry out in public.
“I won’t. But… I thought you said you…”
“I lied.”
A little louder than Kame would have liked, she exclaimed, “I knew it! I knew something was off.”
“Shh! Um… so that was one reason I wanted to talk to you…”
“How did you end up…” she started, “wait, ‘one reason’? What was the other?”
Kame shifted uncomfortably for a bit, hesitating. Did he really want to ask this? He knew it was a bad idea... In a very low voice, “How do I get in touch to buy some of that… uh… stuff… from, you know…?”
“You really shouldn’t …” Lina said.
“But you work for him, right?” Kame was a bit confused. "Shouldn't you be all in favor or something?"
She gave him a hard look. “I take deliveries. I have to pay for school somehow and my sister… well, never mind that. Anyway, it doesn’t mean I like it or that I approve.”
“I understand. And I’m not asking for delivery. I’ll go get it. I won't involve you any more. I just don’t know where to go, what to ask. I don’t even know what it was Ryo was giving me. But I figure he knows. You, too, but considering where we are, I’d rather ask him.”
Sighing, she fetched a pen and a scrap of paper from her purse. She wrote something down. “Go there. Tell the man at the door that friend of a friend wants to introduce you. If he asks which friend, say Little Sister. But if he doesn’t ask, don’t mention me, okay? I got in enough trouble over you last time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Lina.”
“If… if you don’t mind, what was really going on then?”
“Hell.”
"And how did you manage to leave hell?"
"The devil got tired of me." Because there was no way he was going to tell her the truth.
And Kame stood, put the scrap of paper in his pocket, and walked back over to a waiting Koki.
“What was that about, Turtle Boyfriend?”
Words flashed through Kame’s mind… Boyfriend on a string…
But he just ignored it, saying, “That? Don’t worry about it, school stuff. I’m trying to decide if I’ll be able to catch up or if I’d do better to withdraw from classes and write this semester off. And are you going to call me that the rest of our lives? It’ll drive Jin nuts.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fourth Cut ~The Ramen Dilemma~
A/N: Betcha didn't expect to see Lina again.
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Summary - Heal Me: The difficult task of readjusting to a normal life... will they make it through together?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Heal Me
Third Cut ~The Unlikeliest of Places~
Koki couldn’t focus on his last class that Tuesday. He kept thinking over how Kame had acted in the bathroom. He shouldn’t have left him there in the tub but he’d just been so shocked. Kame had never believed his love declarations before. What had changed?
And why would he give him such a hateful look for it? And… the rest of it…
It was so wrong. Koki shuddered.
He should tell Jin, right?
Jin would kill him. And Kame was his friend, too. Maybe he should try talking to him again, first.
Yeah, that’s what he should do.
Maybe give Kame a day to clear his head first, though. So it didn't happen again, whatever it was. He still didn't know.
+++
Eventually Kame came to his senses. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the bathroom in the tub. He vaguely remembered breaking the mirror and Koki coming by. Standing, he stepped out of the tub and walked back into the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of his bed again.
It was nice not wearing a collar. Ryo took it off of him after that last time he punished him, saying he would have to earn back the right to leave the bedroom.
Ryo had almost killed him that time. He had his hands around Kame’s throat, squeezing so hard. Kame was sure he was about to die. The room had faded almost completely. But Ryo had realized what he was doing and let go. While Kame was dazed coughing, trying to get his breath back, Ryo had grabbed the tie, bound his wrists together and tied him to the bedpost, just like that first time.
He ripped Kame’s clothes off and then he got the belt.
Ryo beat him and then fucked him and then beat him again and then fucked him one more time. And then, even though Kame could barely move, Ryo untied him and made him clean up all the broken glass.
But Kame knew what he had to do. He managed to subtly shove a large shard towards the bed and then between the bed and the wall.
Jin walked in, snapping Kame out of his memory. He completely freaked out about the state of the bathroom. “What the hell were you thinking? How are we going to pay for this?!”
Unconsciously Kame’s hand flew to his neck. But if Jin was only yelling, that wasn’t so bad. It wouldn’t be like when he broke that mirror…
“I didn’t like the way it looked at me.”
“I don’t understand. It’s just a mirror. Mirrors don’t look at you; you look at them.” Jin sat down next to him and took his hand.
“Oh, right…” Kame looked down at his feet, ashamed. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up and figure something out.”
“No, we will figure something out. But you need to talk to someone, Kazu-chan. I mean, I know it’ll be painful to talk about and I know it’ll not be something easy to hear, either. But I think if you keep pushing this down, you’ll never heal and you’ll never escape your dreams.” Jin took a deep breath before continuing. “Look, if you don’t want to talk to me about this, find someone else to talk to. I just want to see you smile again. I want you happy. I can’t just make these things happen. Believe me, I would if I could. If there was some secret spell or potion or anything, I’d get it for you. Kazu, I love you so much. It just kills me that I can’t help you more.”
Now Jin was softly crying, though Kame could tell he was trying to hide it. He continued, “I can kiss your forehead and stroke your cheek when you’re having a nightmare and that does seem to help a bit but it’s not enough. I can wake you up, but you need to be able to sleep. And Ryo’s dead. He’s dead and his body has been burned. He can never touch you again… but he’s inside your head still and I can’t get to him there like I did in real life. You can’t keep breaking mirrors for the rest of your life.”
Kame sat there in silence for a moment. “I’ll think on it,” he eventually said, squeezing Jin’s hand a bit.
“Please do.”
“I guess I better start cleaning.”
+++
Wednesday passed by relatively uneventfully. Kame couldn’t stand having the door closed when Jin was in class.
Kame was doing everything he could to keep Jin from seeing what Ryo had done to him. He slept in his clothes. He wouldn’t change or shower until after Jin left for class in the morning. So far, Jin was respecting this without a single complaint.
He was still having nightmares, even though he was back in his own room sleeping in Jin’s arms. He was spending so much of his time trapped in his own head and, though he tried desperately to focus, it didn’t seem to be getting better…
Koki came back by to see him Thursday, right after Jin left for class.
“Hey Turtle, how are you? Are you feeling… um… better?”
“You mean… the mirror and all? I’m… Yes, better.”
Koki paused for a moment before awkwardly asking, “And the rest too?”
Kame tried to think back to his encounter with Koki but it was almost like he was disconnected somewhat from the memory. “What rest?” Kame was somewhat confused.
“Oh, uh… nothing!” Koki nervously scratched the back of his head. “Actually, I wondered if you wanted to leave this room and go grab something to eat so we can talk. I missed you.”
“If it’s your treat,” Kame gave a small smile, “Yeah, sure. I can't afford otherwise. I have to pay for a mirror.”
“Ramen shop?”
“Ramen shop.”
“Yes!!” and Koki gave the victory sign.
But they’d barely gotten out of the dorm when Kame saw someone he’d never expected. Actually, he was surprised to find her looking so healthy after Ryo’s call. But why was she on campus? Putting a hand on Koki’s shoulder, Kame said, “Can… can you wait right here for me? I really need to talk to that girl over there. She is in one of my classes.”
“Sure…”
The woman with the incredibly curly black hair (what was her name again… Lisa? No, not Lisa... Lina? Ah, that was it) looked shocked to see him as he ran over to her. Simultaneously, they both said, “What are you doing here?”
Again, simultaneously, “I go to school here.”
Yet again, “Really?”
Finally, Kame waved one of his hands. “Wait, stop, stop. I seriously need to talk to you. Now!” and he pulled her over to sit on the nearest bench.
Before Lina could protest or even ask him what he wanted, Kame started, “You can’t tell anyone. Please. Nothing you saw. Not any one, not any of it. Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything, anything you want… I do mean anything...” He was doing his best not to completely panic or cry out in public.
“I won’t. But… I thought you said you…”
“I lied.”
A little louder than Kame would have liked, she exclaimed, “I knew it! I knew something was off.”
“Shh! Um… so that was one reason I wanted to talk to you…”
“How did you end up…” she started, “wait, ‘one reason’? What was the other?”
Kame shifted uncomfortably for a bit, hesitating. Did he really want to ask this? He knew it was a bad idea... In a very low voice, “How do I get in touch to buy some of that… uh… stuff… from, you know…?”
“You really shouldn’t …” Lina said.
“But you work for him, right?” Kame was a bit confused. "Shouldn't you be all in favor or something?"
She gave him a hard look. “I take deliveries. I have to pay for school somehow and my sister… well, never mind that. Anyway, it doesn’t mean I like it or that I approve.”
“I understand. And I’m not asking for delivery. I’ll go get it. I won't involve you any more. I just don’t know where to go, what to ask. I don’t even know what it was Ryo was giving me. But I figure he knows. You, too, but considering where we are, I’d rather ask him.”
Sighing, she fetched a pen and a scrap of paper from her purse. She wrote something down. “Go there. Tell the man at the door that friend of a friend wants to introduce you. If he asks which friend, say Little Sister. But if he doesn’t ask, don’t mention me, okay? I got in enough trouble over you last time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Lina.”
“If… if you don’t mind, what was really going on then?”
“Hell.”
"And how did you manage to leave hell?"
"The devil got tired of me." Because there was no way he was going to tell her the truth.
And Kame stood, put the scrap of paper in his pocket, and walked back over to a waiting Koki.
“What was that about, Turtle Boyfriend?”
Words flashed through Kame’s mind… Boyfriend on a string…
But he just ignored it, saying, “That? Don’t worry about it, school stuff. I’m trying to decide if I’ll be able to catch up or if I’d do better to withdraw from classes and write this semester off. And are you going to call me that the rest of our lives? It’ll drive Jin nuts.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fourth Cut ~The Ramen Dilemma~
A/N: Betcha didn't expect to see Lina again.