Comments | aisalynn: Ficlet: Burn

aisalynn

Ficlet: Burn

Jul 25, 2008 07:33

Title: Burn
Author: Aisalynn
Fandom: Jumper
Pairing: David/Griffin
Rating; PG-13

It was like electricity with them.

Burning through his body, spiking at places where lips trailed across his skin, where teeth nipped and scraped underneath his jaw and down his neck, along the line of his shoulder, biting hard enough to draw blood (so good, the pain, the ( Read more... )

jumper, fanfiction

Comments 13

yagizami July 25 2008, 17:02:54 UTC

awesome =) you're a great writer :D I loved how you described that being trapped is the worst for him (and I think jumper in general), and that he is being tied down from both Paladins and David, very well done. I look forward to more stories from you :D

sosobriquet July 25 2008, 18:13:26 UTC

Um. I think I love you. I can't be sure, because my brain kind of ... melted just then - I think. AT any rate, it doesn't seem to be working properly at the moment.

~Noire

rip_the_tide July 25 2008, 18:24:13 UTC

WOW!!!

(VERY!!!) welcome to the community!

I love your style. It's very powerful, especially the end.

I look forward to reading more from you. :)

bloody_beary July 25 2008, 20:12:46 UTC

I think my brain somewhat shorted out from the awesomeness, but well done!! Please say that you will write more fics!

sinstralpride July 25 2008, 23:20:11 UTC

::whimper:: ;__; That was.... fucking magnificent. It really was. I'm glad you shared this with the comm. ^_^ And I really hope to see more of your writing in the future.

favorite line: "Before him." It's just so perfectly succinct... It pulls all the building emotion into one bright, blazing point of light and meaning.

Marvelous. You illustrated that Griffin feels as trapped by David as by anything else, but you don't shove the point down the reader's throat. Great job.

♥ Sin

aisalynn July 26 2008, 11:39:29 UTC

Magnificent? *blushes* Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

Heh, you know, the story almost didn't have that line. I just sort of threw it in at the last moment when I was proofreading. I thought I needed something to bring it all together. Glad it worked. :)

sinstralpride July 26 2008, 11:50:12 UTC

Yes, Magnificent. Glad you added that line, it's terrific. ^_^ Keep it up, I'm very eagerly awaiting more of this.

♥ Sin