Baggy Shirts

[adrenalineshots]

Written for liliaeth 's promp at the Delight in Dean Comment Fic Meme at the SPN Gen Love. The promp, this time around was for:
"When Dean is between eight and ten years old, John leaves him behind to take care of Sammy while John's on a hunt. The hunt takes longer than expected and Dean needs to steal to get food. He gets caught. Outside pov."

So, here it

Comments

[superbadgirl]

Oh, I love this. I wouldn't peg Dean as someone who'd think about leaving tokens, as if that makes up for stealing - but I certainly buy that he might have started out that way.

Very nice!

[adrenalineshots]

Well, I guess that in little-kid logic, he was fair trading with the store owner. My guess? Dean started like this and, as he grew up, just ran out of marbles...

[specialagentldy]

Wow this story is a really neat concept. Thanks for sharing it. :-)

[adrenalineshots]

Thanks for reading and reviewing it!

[erinrua]

Hey, will you forgive me for wearing my editor's hat? But when I started to read, it seemed you might need a quick beta.

First, I saw an immediate, repeated type-o: the singular of "thieves" is "thief," not "thieve."
Singular of "shelves" is "shelf," not "shelve." To shelve if a verb. But stuff sits on a shelf.

Also, "made them stand up" should properly be, "made them stand out." I think you used that term twice.

Likewise, "hazel eyes looked like too giant lollipops" should be "two."

Last, "I don't want to screw this kids" looks like it should be "screw these kids."

Might want to check and correct those. ;-)

Otherwise, this is a thoughtful and very sad little slice-of-life, sort of makes my heart ache. It's heartbreaking to think of Dean shoplifting to feed and please little Sam. If you give it a quick touch-up, readers can savor this and not be distracted by minor type-os. :-) Hope you don't mind!
Cheers ~

Erin

[adrenalineshots]

*is embarrassed* You know, those are all things that I'm perfectly aware of how they work... and in the rush of posting this, they all escaped me. Shame on me, I know...
Thank you for going to the trouble of taking note of the mess ups and letting me know :) It's all fixed up, nice and pretty now. Thank you!

[landrews]

May I add: 'sales' in first sentence should be 'sells' and Alex Rodriguez didn't play a full season of MLB until 1996, so that's the year his rookie card would've come out for. Fred Lynn was rookie of the year in 1975, so that might be a good card to use :-) Nice story, I always love a good outside POV :-)

[adrenalineshots]

Ah, my ignorance on all matters of baseball is showing up *g* Thank you!

[xwacky]

What a lovely little story that delves into their past. I admit I'm not a big fan of wee!Chesters stories. But I trust your writing so I gave this a try.

Sure enough, my heart tugs at the thought of little Dean in baggy clothes, resorted to steal in order to keep Sam fed, but still innocent enough that he would leave something he treasured (but could do without, Dean knew his priority at that tender age) in exchange.

[adrenalineshots]

It's a great feeling to hear someone so completely understand this little story. Thank you for trusting me and I'm very glad I haven't disappointed... yet *g*

[parisindy]

awwwww that was awesome!

[adrenalineshots]

:oD Thanks!

[parisindy]

do you post on Fanfiction.net as well?

[adrenalineshots]

Yup. As Ophium ;o)